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The Muppet Show Live - Act II

Transcribed by Phillip and Cindy Chapman
Fan Commentary in green italics by Tom Holste and Phillip Chapman
Fan Art by Chris Smigliano

1. WELCOME BACK - MARIA BELLO

(HOUSE LIGHTS DOWN. SPOTLIGHT ON STAGE. ENTER MARIA BELLO)

MARIA

Good evening everyone. I'm Maria Bello and I want to thank you all for coming and giving your support to Save the Children. We're glad you're here.

About four years ago I started working with Save the Children and I got to see first hand what a difference they make. After Hurricane Mitch. I travled to Nicaragua with them to organize play programs for children effected by the disaster.

In Kosoov, Albania, Bhutan and Nepal, I saw how Save the Children's dedicated staff helped provide for the basic needs of children trying to survive amid terrible conditions. Yes, Save the Children makes a difference and we thank you for your generosity tonight.

The proceeds from this evening's event will go towards aiding our children's and family programs in California, the United States and around the world.

I would also like to thank Charlie Rivkin and Brian Henson and everyone at The Jim Henson Company for making this wonderful evening possible. And special thanks to my co-chairs Martha and Dino DeLaurentis, Carol and Bill Haber, The Honorable Robert Hertzberg and Dr. Cynthia Hertzberg, my husband Dan McDermott, and Ellen and Scott Safsa.

Now, let's enjoy the second half of The Muppet Show Live!

(MARIA EXITS)

MUSIC: PLAYON "MUPPET SHOW" THEME (LIVE)

(GO TO BLACK)

 

2. STATLER & WALDORF

MUSIC: DRUM ROLL (LIVE)

(FOLLOW SPOTS CHASE AROUND THE CURTAIN UNTIL THE FIND…)

WALDORF

You know, the second half of this show reminds me of Aspen.

STATLER

Why Aspen?

WALDORF

Cause it's all downhill from here!

(THEY LAUGH)

3. VIDEO: "HERD OF COWS" FRAWLEY TEST

 

 

4. INTRO: JIM HENSON TRIBUTE

(BRIAN HENSON ENTERS)

BRIAN HENSON

Hi, I'm Brian Henson

That clip you just watched is a test my father and Frank Oz made. As you saw, a key part of what we do is having fun.

And from what you've seen on stage, you know it takes a lot of people to have this much fun.

I want to introduce you to some of those people. But first I'd like to mention a few of the people who aren't here tonight. Those who passed on:

-- Don Sahlin
-- Richard Hunt

And those who couldn't be here:

-- Jerry Juhl
-- Frank Oz

In addition to these people, my father assembled a core group of creative crazies. Ladies and gentleman, it's my pleasure to introduce the Muppet Performers:

-- Steve Whitmire…
(STEVE ENTERS, APPLAUSE)

-- Dave Goelz…
(DAVE ENTERS, APPLUASE)

-- Jerry Nelson…
(JERRY ENTERS, APPLAUSE)

(BRIAN EXITS)

Some of what Brian had to say about his father's work was in the script, but as one would expect, it was largely extemporized. In fact, there are no specific words in the script about Steve, Dave or Jerry.

5. JIM HENSON TRIBUTE - PUPPETEERS

VIDEO: PUPPETEER STILLS (FREEZE)

STEVE
(bulletpoints)

-- Meeting Jim for the first time.
--
Doing Kermit. Remembering Jim's face as he did it.
-- Masked Ball, Steve dressed up as a strange writer.

DAVE
(bulletpoints)

-- Favorite thing: Laughing.
-- Jim as appreciative.

JERRY
(bulletpoints)

-- Jim as leader, whim of steel.
-- Letting you do something over and over again until you couldn't come up with anything and just let go. And Jim would say, "That's it!"

JERRY

These are just a few of our memories of our fearless leader - and we're sure everyone here has their own favorite memories of Jim and the Characters and worlds he created. Let's watch.

Like Brian, the puppeteers' comments were largely extemporized, though bullet points were listed for what each performer planned to discuss. According to the script, Steve was going to tell an anecdote about a Masked Ball, but for some reason decided to skip that story. Jerry's last line about their "Fearless Leader" was scripted. Jerry read a poem about Jim being their "Fearless Leader" at his memorial service in May 1990.

6. VIDEO: JIM HENSON TRIBUTE

 

7. SONG: "WHERE YOU AT"

(UP ON FLOYD AND ZOOT IN FRONT OF THE BAND'S SET-UP)

FLOYD

Hey, where's the rest of the band?

ZOOT

Late, man. Late.

FLOYD

I must be getting old - I'm starting to get to my gigs on time. I wonder where they at…

MUSIC: "WHERE YOU AT" (LIVE)

(FLOYD STARTS TO PLAY HIS BASS. HE SINGS "WHERE YOU AT")

Where you at?
Where's your natural habitat?
Baby where you at?
I wanna go there
Where's the place?
Which direction should I face?
I wanna go there

(- -) SAXAPHONE SOLO

FLOYD

I was doing find
'Til I heard you call.
I've been searchin' everywhere
But I can't find you nowhere at all
So, where you at?
Tell me 'fore I flip my hat
Baby, where you at?
I wanna go there.

(APPLAUSE)

FLOYD
(spoken)

They're here.

(CURTAIN RISES ON DR. TEETH, ANIMAL AND JANICE. FLOYD AND ZOOT JOIN THEM)

In the script, the rest of the band wasn't supposed to join Floyd and Zoot onstage till the end of "Where You At," after Floyd says, "They're here." In the show, the band slowly made its way onstage while the song was playing, so that when Floyd says, "They're here," they really were all there!

 

8. SONG: "CAN YOU PICTURE THAT" (track)

DR. TEETH

Oh yeah! Whoa! Ahhh!

Everybody's lover, everybody's brother
I wanna be your lifetime friend
Crazy as a rocket, nothin' in my pocket
I keep it at the rainbow's end
I never think of money
I think of milk and honey
Grinnin' like a Cheshire cat
I focus on the pleasure
Somethin' I can treasure
Can you picture that?

ALL

Can you picture that?

DR. TEETH

Oh yeah!

Hey Floyd, take a verse!

FLOYD

Let me take your picture
Add it to the mixture
There it is I got you now
Really nothin to it, anyone can do it
It's easy and we all know how
Now begins the changin'
Mental rearrangin'
Nothin's really where it's at

DR. TEETH

Now the Eiffel Tower's
Holdin' up a flower
I gave it to a taxi cat

FLOYD/JANICE

Fact is there's nothin' out there
You can't do
Yeah, even Santa Claus believes in you

DR. TEETH

Beat down your walls,
Begin, believe, bee…begat

FLOYD

Be a better drummer
Be an up and comer
Can you picture that?

ANIMAL

Can you picture that?!

(ANIMAL GRUNTS)

JANICE

Oh, really?

(ANIMAL GRUNTS)

FLOYD

All of us are winnin'
Pickin' and a grinnin'
Lordy but I love to jam

JANICE

Jelly belly gigglin'
Dancin' and a-wigglin'
Honey that's the way I am

DR. TEETH

Lost my heart in Texas
Northern lights affect us
I keep it underneath my hat
Aurora Borealis
Shinin' down on Dallas
Can you picture that?

ALL

Can you picture? Can you picture?

DR. TEETH

You gotta see it in your mind

ALL

Can you picture?

FLOYD

You know it's quick and easy to find

ALL

Can you picture?

JANICE

You don't have to buy a frame

ALL

Can you picture?
Can you picture that?
Can you picture that?

(APPLAUSE)

9. VIDEO: MUPPET MOMENT - "PIGS IN SPACE"

They showed the "Gravitational Pull" sketch where Miss Piggy switches seats with Link and Strangepork only to discover that as she moves the Swinetrack tilts along with her.

 

10. SONG: "NEVER BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN" with Video (Brooke Shields)

KERMIT

Well, I was supposed to perform a duet with Miss Piggy right now but we still don't know where she is, so I guess we won't be able to --

(GONZO POKES HIS HEAD OUT FROM BACKSTAGE)

GONZO

Pssst, Kermit. Introduce Miss Piggy.

KERMIT

You found her?

GONZO

Sort of.

KERMIT

What do you mean "sort of"?

GONZO

Relax! Just introduce Miss Piggy.

(GONZO EXITS)

KERMIT

Ladies and gentlemen, here to sing "Never Before and Never Again" with me is Miss Piggy, sort of.

BROOKE (Off-Screen)

You want me to go out there like this?

GONZO (Off-Screen)

Be a sport! It's the 25th anniversary!

(GONZO PUSHES BROOK OUT FROM THE WING)

Break a leg!

(BROOK SHIELDS ENTERS. SHE IS WEARING A BLOND WIG AND A PIG SNOUT ON AN ELASTIC CORD IS TRAPPED TO HER FACE. SHE MIGHT ALSO WEAR A STRING OF PEARLS AND LONG LAVENDER GLOVES)

KERMIT

Wait a second… it can't be… Brooke Shields? Why are you dressed like that?

BROOKE

What?! Gonzo said it was your idea to have me impersonate Miss Piggy.

KERMIT

Gon-zo!

(GONZO DUCKS OUT FROM WINGS)

GONZO

Oops!

KERMIT
(TO BROOKE)

I'm sorry about this.

BROOKE

Oh, it's okay, Kermit. It's an honor to impersonate Miss Piggy, especially when I get to work with… vous.

KERMIT

Uh, well…

BROOKE
(AS PIGGY)

Kissy-kissy, Kermie. Come let us be be-yoo-tiful music together, shmoopie-poo.

KERMIT

Shmoopie-poo? Uh, okay.

(CALLING OFF)

Music please.

MUSIC: "NEVER BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN" (LIVE)

BROOKE
(SINGS BEAUTIFULLY)

Never before…. have two souls…

(KERMIT INTERRUPTS)

KERMIT

Wait a minute, Brooke.

BROOKE

What's the matter? Not good enough?

KERMIT

Nope. Not bad enough. Your singing is too good to be Piggy.

BROOKE

I'll try again.

MUSIC: "NEVER BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN" (LIVE)

BROOKE (cont'd)
(SINGS, SLIGHTLY WORSE)

Never before…

(SPOKEN)

Bad enough?

KERMIT

Nope.

BROOKE
(SINGS WORSE)

Never before…

(SPOKEN)

Bad enough?

KERMIT

Not yet.

BROOKE
(REALLY BADLY)

Never before…

KERMIT

That's it!

BROOKE
(CONTINUING)

… have two souls joined so freely
and so fast…
For me this is the first time, and the last
Is this an angel's wish for men?
Never before and never…

(AT SOME POINT DURING BROOKE'S SINGING, THE VIDEO SCREEN COMES TO LIFE WITH PIGGY'S IMAGE. NOTE: SHE IS LOOKING DIRECTLY DOWN, AS THEY WILL BE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN)

VIDEO: "PIGGY & KERMIT" (1:38)

PIGGY (On-Screen)

All right, knock it off, Brookie. Listen, you go near my frog again and I'll make you wish…

KERMIT
(INTERRUPTING)

Piggy, you were supposed to be here tonight. Where are you?

PIGGY (On-Screen)

Oh, Kermit, I told you I couldn't make it. This weekend is "Piggyfest," a celebration of all things moi. And let me tell you Bayonne is lovely this time of year.

KERMIT

Piggyfest? Bayonne? Piggy, how could you do this to us.

PIGGY (On-Screen)

Moi!? What about you and "Suddenly Miss Snooty-Pants'" there.

(PIGGY TURNS AWAY FROM CAMER, HURT AND ANGRY)

BROOKE
(TO KERMIT)

I'll just leave.

KERMIT

No. Wait here. I'll be right back.

(KERMIT EXITS. BEAT)

(KERMIT ENTERS VIDEO WITH PIGGY)

KERMIT (On-Screen) (CONT'D)

Piggy! What is this all about?

PIGGY (On-Screen)

What is this all about? I'll tell vous what it's all about: you never call, you never write. You sell the company and all I get is a T-shirt that says "Somebody in Munich Loves Me".

KERMIT (On-Screen)

Piggy!… I'm sorry, it's just….

PIGGY (On-Screen)
(REGAINING COMPOSURE)

It's okay, Kermie. Sometimes it's good just to let these things out.

KERMIT (On-Screen)

That's right Piggy. You just let it out.

PIGGY (On-Screen)

Vous asked for it… Hiiii-yaaaaa!!!

(PIGGY KARATE CHOPS KERMIT WHO GOES FLYING OFF-SCREEN. BEAT.)

PIGGY (On-Screen) (CONT'D)
(TO CAMERA!)

Kissy-kissy! Bye-bye everyone! Ta! Kissy-Kissy!

(THE VIDEO SCREEN FLICKERS OFF)

Naturally, Piggy asked Kermit twice if she should really let her feelings out before giving him the "Hi-yaaa." The script has Piggy say, "Vous asked for it," but in the clip, Piggy (who probably wasn't feeling very French at the moment) simply said, "You asked for it."

In the script, after the karate chop, Piggy then turns to the audience and says, "Kissy-kissy! Bye-bye everyone! Ta! Kissy-kissy!" In the show, the Piggy video clip ends immediately after she "Hi-yaaa's Kermit and sends him flying back onstage.

11. SONG: "SAN FRANCISCO BAY BLUES" (Brooke Shields)

(KERMIT COMES STAGGERING IN FROM THE WINGS)

BROOKE

Are you okay, Kermit?

KERMIT

Just fine.

BROOKE

Should we still sing the song?

KERMIT

Uh sure, I guess. Uh, Music!… Let's do it together.

MUSIC: NEVER BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN (LIVE)

(ENTER BOBO, JUST BEFORE THEY BEGIN TO SING)

BOBO

Whoa! Whoa! Stop the music!

KERMIT

Bobo, what are you doing?

BOBO

I got Paul Williams backstage threatening to leave if you do any further damage to his song.

BROOKE

Well, what do we do?

BOBO

Well, first, lose the pig stuff. You're scarin' the kids.

BROOKE

Right.

KERMIT

Maybe there's another number we could sing.

BOBO

Lemme think… Think, think… WHOA!

(BROOKE AND KERMIT REACT)

BOBO (CONT'D)

Do you guys know "San Francisco Bay Blues"?

BROOKE/KERMIT

Sure… yeah.

BOBO

Then that's what you're gonna do.

(TO ORCHESTRA)

Hey, Ray, gimme a D, gimme a nice round D.

(TO BROOKE)

Oh, and you're gonna want to lose the boa.

BROOKE

I'm keepin' the boa.

BOBO

She's keepin' the boa! Here we go, Ray!

(BOBO EXITS)

MUSIC: "SAN FRANCISCO BAY BLUES" (LIVE)

(BROOKE REMOVES THE PIGGY STUFF AND THEY SING A DUET)

BROOKE

I got the blues from my baby left me by the San Francisco Bay

KERMIT

The ocean liner's gone so far away

BROOKE

Didn't mean to treat him so bad
He was the best frog I ever had

KERMIT

She said goodbye, I can take a cry
I want to lay down and die.

BROOKE

I ain't got a nickel and I ain't got a lousy dime

KERMIT

She don't come back, think I'm going to lose my mind

BROOKE

If he ever gets back to stay
It's going to be another brand new day

BROOKE/KERMIT

Walking with my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay

(ENTER FLOYD WHO JOINS IN THE SINGING, FOLLOWED BY A BUNCH OF OTHER MUPPETS)

(-4-) KAZOO

(-4-) KAZOO

(-4-) KAZOO

(-4-) KAZOO

FLOYD/KERMIT

Sitting down looking from my back door

BROOKE

Wondering which way to go

KERMIT

The woman I'm so crazy about
She don't love me no more

BROOKE

Think I'll take me freight train
'cause I'm feeling blue

BROOKE/KERMIT/FLOYD

Ridin' all the way to the end of the line

BROOKE

Thinking only of you

KERMIT

Meanwhile, in another city

BROOKE

Just about to go insane

FLOYD

Thought I heard my baby, lord
The way she used to call my name

BROOKE

If I ever get back to stay
It's going to be another brand new day

BROOKE/KERMIT/FLOYD

Walking with my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay
Hey, hey, hey

ALL

Walking with my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay

FLOYD

One more time!

ALL

Walking with my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay

(-2-) KAZOO

(APPLAUSE)

KERMIT

Ladies and gentlemen, Brooke Shields!

(APPLAUSE, GO TO BLACK)

12. VIDEO: MUPPET MOMENT - "SWEDISH CHEF & LOBSTERS BIT"

 

 

13. MUPPET NEWSFLASH - "BOULDER"

(CART ROLLS IN WITH NEWSCASTER ON IT)

NEWSMAN

A Muppet News Flash! There are reports of a Giant Boulder rolling through Hollywood.

(HE CRINGES, THEN LOOKS OUT AT THE FRONT ROWS)

NEWSMAN (CONT'D)

Ha! They didn't give you giant boulders to throw, did they?

(SWEETUMS ENTERS FROM BEHIND THE NEWS SET, CARRYING A GIANT BOULDER)

SWEETUMS

Nope, but they gave me one.

(SWEETUMS DECKS NEWSCASTER WITH THE GIANT BOULDER, THEN HELPS ROLL OFF THE CART)

This was the most significant change from the script to the performance. After Sweetums comes out and throws the boulder at the Newsman, the following unscripted addition took place. The Newsman popped back up from behind the desk and said, "You missed me"-at which point a cow came hurtling over the top of the Newsman's stage and nailed him!

 

14. VIDEO: MUPPET MOMENT - "PAUL WILLIAMS - FROM THE EL SLEAZO"

The video clip with Paul Williams at the El Sleazo in "The Muppet Movie" was omitted. Ironically, they would have had plenty of time to show it, since they were having difficulty with Steve's monitor inside the piano where he was performing Kermit. Paul Williams was playing a hollow piano, with reportedly at least four people inside: Steve and Melissa Whitmire, Allan Trautman, and John Kennedy.

 

15. SONG: "MOVIN' RIGHT ALONG" (Paul Williams)

(REVEAL KERMIT AT A PIANO)

KERMIT

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome a great songwriter and a dear friend of the Muppets - - Paul Williams!

In the script, Kermit simply introduces Paul as a "great songwriter and friend of the Muppets." In the show, Kermit went into a little more detail, mentioning all the projects Paul has worked on over the years.

(PAUL ENTERS, APPLAUSE)

PAUL WILLIAMS

Thanks, Kermit. I've always loved working with you guys. It makes me feel larger than life.

KERMIT

And you make us sound so good. You've written a lot of songs for us. Do you have an favorites?

PAUL WILLIAMS

How about his one from "The Muppet Movie."

MUSIC: "MOVIN' RIGHT ALONG" (LIVE)

KERMIT

You be the bear.

PAUL WILLIAMS

Okay. You're the Frog.

KERMIT

Movin' right along,
In search of good times and good news

PAUL WILLIAMS

With good friends you can't lose.
This could be a habit.

KERMIT

Opportunity knocks once
Let's reach out and grab it,
Together we'll nab it.

Paul Williams
We'll hitch-hike, bus,
Or yellow cab it.

KERMIT
(SPOKEN)

Cab it?

KERMIT/PAUL

Movin' right along

KERMIT

Foot loose and fancy free.

PAUL WILLIAMS

Getting there is half the fun
Come share it with me.

KERMIT/PAUL

Movin' right along
(Doog-a-doon, doog-a-doon)

KERMIT

We'll learn to share the load.

PAUL WILLIAMS

We don't need a map
To keep this show on the road.

KERMIT

Movin right along
We found a life on the highway.
And your way is my way,

PAUL WILLIAMS

So trust my navigation.
California here we come,
That pie in the sky land.

KERMIT

Palm trees and warm sand,

PAUL WILLIAMS

Though sadly we just left Rhode Island.

KERMIT
(SPOKEN)

We did what?

PAUL WILLIAMS
(SPOKEN)

Just forget it.

KERMIT/PAUL

Movin right along…

KERMIT

Hey, L.A. Where've you gone?

PAUL WILLIAMS

Send someone to fetch us
We're in Saskatchewan.

KERMIT/PAUL

Movin right along
(Doog-a-doon, doog-a-doon)

KERMIT

You take it you know best

PAUL WILLIAMS

Hey, I've never seen the sun come up in the west.

KERMIT/PAUL

Movin right along…

Movin right along…

Movin right along…

Movin right along…

(APPLAUSE)

16. SONG: "I'M GOING TO GO BACK THERE SOMEDAY" (Paul Williams)

(GONZO ENTERS)

GONZO

Hey, guys, nice job.

PAUL WILLIAMS, KERMIT

Oh thanks.

KERMIT

Hey, Gonzo. How about doing that song you did in the Muppet Movie?

PAUL WILLIAMS

Ah yes, a wistful little melody. Care to sing it?

GONZO

Only if yodeling is out of the question.

PAUL/KERMIT

It is.

MUSIC: I'M GOING TO GO BACK THERE SOMEDAY (LIVE)

GONZO

This looks familiar,
Vaguely familiar
Almost unreal yet
It's too soon to feel yet.
Close to my soul and yet so far away,
I'm going to go back there someday.

Sun rises, night falls
Sometimes the sky calls
Is that a song there
And do I belong there?
I've never been there
But I know the way
I'm going to go back there someday.
Come and go with me,
It's more fun to share

PAUL/GONZO/KERMIT

We'll all be completely
At home in mid-air.
We're flyin', not walkin'
On featherless wings.
We can hold on to love
Like invisible strings.

GONZO

There's not a word yet,
For old friends who've just met;
Part heaven, part space,
Or have a I found my place?
You can just viist,
But I play to stay.
I'm going to go back there someday.
I'm going to back there someday.

(-2-) PIANO

(APPLAUSE)

17. SONG: "BLESS US ALL" (Paul Williams)

(ROBIN ENTERS)

ROBIN

Hi, Mr. Williams.

PAUL WILLIAMS

Hello, Robin.

ROBIN

Could we do a song from "Muppet Christmas Carol". Tiny Tim was my biggest part, so to speak.

MUSIC: "BLESS US ALL" (LIVE)

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Life is full of sweet surprises
Every day's a gift
The sun comes up
And I can feel it lift my spirit.
Fills me up with laughter
Fills me up with song
I look into the eyes of love
And know that I belong.

PAUL WILLIAMS

Bless us all
Who gather here

KERMIT

The loving family we hold dear

GONZO

No place on Earth
Compares with home

ROBIN

And every path will
Bring me back from where I roam.

ALL

Bless us all with playful years
With noise games and joyful tears

KERMIT/ROBIN

We reach for you and we stand tall

ALL

And in our prayers and dreams
We ask you bless us all.
We reach for you and we stand tall
And in our prayers and dreams
We ask you bless us all.

(APPLAUSE)

18. SONG: "I HOPE THAT SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG" (Paul Williams)

(ROWLF AND SAL ENTER)

SAL

Hey! Rowlf's got one!! Rowlf's got one and I'm gonna sing it with 'em!

(TO ORCESTRA)

Hey you guys, hit it!

MUSIC: I HOPE THAT SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG (LIVE)

ROWLF

You can't live with 'em.
You can't live without 'em.

SAL

There's something irresistible-ish
About 'em.

PAUL

We grin and bear it
Cause the nights are long.

PAUL/ROWLF/SAL

I hope that something better comes along

GONZO

It's no good complainin
And pointless to holler.

KERMIT

If she's a beauty
She'll get under your collar.

PAUL WILLIAMS

She made a monkey out of old King Kong

PAUL/KERMIT/GONZO

I hope that somethin better comes along

KERMIT

Still tis' fun when you're fetchin
And agree to see an etching
That you keep at your lily pad.

ROBIN

There is no solution.
It's part of evolution.

SAL

Pitter patter of souls

PAUL WILLIAMS

The little feet of tadpoles.

KERMIT
(SPOKEN)

Uh, tadpoles don't have feet.

PAUL WILLIAMS
(SPOKEN)

Oh, sorry about that…2,3,4.

ROBIN

There's no limitation
To mixin and matchin

ROWLF

Some get an itchen for a critter
They've been scratchin.

GONZO/KERMIT

A skunk was badgered
The results were strong.

PAUL/ROWLF/SAL

I hope that somethin better…

PAUL/KERMIT/GONZO

I hope that somethin better…

ROBIN/ALL

I hope that somethin better comes along

(APPLAUSE)

19. SONG: "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA" (Paul Williams)

ROBIN

Hey, Mr. Williams, what was the first Muppet project you ever worked on?

PAUL WILLIAMS

"Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas". And there's a lovely little tune in there that's perfect for you.

MUSIC: "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA" (LIVE)

ROBIN

When the mountain touches the valley,
All the clouds are taught to fly,
Thus our souls will leave this land
Most peacfully

PAUL WILLIAMS

Tho' our minds be filled with questions
In our hearts we'll understand

(ELMO ENTERS, SINGING)

PAUL/ELMO/ROBIN

When the river meets the sea.

ALL

Elmo!

ELMO

Hello, everybody! Elmo love this song too!

ROBIN

Will you sing it with us?

ELMO

You bet. Elmo not leave "Sesame Street" for nothing.

(SONG RESUMES)

ELMO (CONT'D)

Like a flower that has blossomed
In the dry and barren sand.

GONZO

We are born and born again
Most gracefully.

ALL

Gracefully…

PAUL WILLIAMS

Thus the winds of time will take us with a sure and steady hand.

ALL

When the river meets the sea.
When the river meets the sea…
When the river meets the almighty sea.

(APPLAUSE)

20. SONG: "RAINBOW CONNECTION" (Paul Williams)

MUSIC: "RAINBOW CONNECTION (LIVE)

KERMIT

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side.

PAUL WILLIAMS

Rainbows are visions,
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide…

OTHERS

So we've been told
And some choose to believe it;
I know they're wrong; wait and see.
Someday we'll find it,
The Rainbow connection,
The loves, the dreamers and me.
All of us under it's spell;
We know that it's probably magic.

(INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE)

PAUL WILLIAMS

(SPOKEN TO AUDIENCE)

Y'know, over the years, I got to know Jim Henson pretty well. He always believed in the goodness of people -- and that tomorrow will bring better days. We all have to be dreamers.

KERMIT

Sing with us.

SUPER: LYRICS BEHIND THEM

(THE FULL CAST, INCLUDING GUEST STARS, ENTER AND JOIN THE SONG)

At this point the stage is literally filled with Muppets, including two huge Bossmen Muppets more than thirty feet tall. It was an incredible sight and everyone on stage continued to sing with the audience.

ALL

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound
That calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
Someday we'll find it,
The rainbow connection;
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

KERMIT

La-da-da-da-dee-da-doo…
La-da-dee-da-da-dee-da-doo…

(APPLAUSE)

21. CURTAIN CALLS

KERMIT

Well, that just about brings us to the end of our first ever live Muppet Show… Before we go, I want to thank our very special guests Brooke Shields, Jon Voight, Paul Williams, Joe Pasquale, and Ray Charles and his orchestra!! And all the other people who worked so hard to put on the show. C'mon out everybody!

(APPLAUSE)

Kermit specifically notes that it's "the OTHER Ray Charles" in the show, which is not noted in the script.

KERMIT (CONT'D)

And finally, we thank all of you for helping support Save the Children. After all these years, we still believe that making people happy is the best dream of all.

MUSIC: "MAGIC STORE ENDING" (LIVE)

KERMIT (CONT'D)
(SINGS)

Life's like a movie,
Write your own ending

ALL

Keep believing
Keep pretending
We've done just what we set out to do.
Thanks to the lovers,
The dreamers,
And you!!

(APPLAUSE)

KERMIT
(SPOKEN)

See you next time on The Muppet Show!

(APPLAUSE)

After "Magic Store" Kermit was supposed to say, "See you next time on The Muppet Show! Yayyy!" However, the applause was so thunderous at the end of the song, this line just got left out. No one would have been able to hear it anyway!

22. MUSIC: CLOSING THEME

MUSIC: "MUPPET SHOW CLOSING THEME" (LIVE) (CURTAIN CLOSES)

 
 
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