Purple Chili

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

Bunsen and Beaker were carrying Bunsen's latest invention out of the Muppet boarding house basement.

"Ah, Beaker, we've done it again. Made another useful invention."

"Mee", sighed Beaker, giving Bunsen a slightly disagreeable look.

"This purple pool chemical will make pool water permanently clean", said Bunsen, "we'll test it out tonight."

Beaker gave a nervous look on his face.

"Oh, but I forgot the car keys. Stay right here and make sure nobody steals it."

Bunsen left, and Beaker quickly took it into the kitchen, hiding it in a lower cupboard, then ran back.

"Silly me, Beakie, I had the keys in my pocket the whole time", said Bunsen, who then noticed the purple chemicals were missing.

"What happened with our invention?"

"Mee mee mee mee mee mee mee mee", said Beaker, making a number of hand gestures, such as a gun pointed to his head and pretending to choke himself.

"Somebody stole our invention?", said Bunsen, "we'll have to go down to the police station and file a police report."

"Mee mee meep"

"What do you mean you don't remember what he looked like?"

"Mee mee mee mee mee"

"Oh, you only remember that he was wearing clothes. At least that narrows it down. Come along."

In the kitchen, The Swedish Chef was getting some food ready.

"Yee, mit due, berr brerr bee-doo-bee-dooo", hummed the chef as he was rummaging through the cupboard, when suddenly he found the purple chemical.

"Huh?", said a confused chef, "Dis wrk vwfth chillee?"

The Swedish Chef then gave a "what the hey" expression as he started making chili, pouring in the purple chemical.

Rizzo showed up after The Swedish Chef finished.

"Hey, Mr. Chef, what's cooking?", said Rizzo.

"Chillee!", said The Swedish Chef.

"Looks like purple chili", said Rizzo.

"Itt eeese prpo chillee", said the chef, showing the container and tossing it up in the air.

"Well, food is food", said Rizzo, who then an entire bowl of chili.

"Say, this was good", said Rizzo.

"That's easy for you to say", said Pops, passing by, "you'll eat anything, even if the chef makes it."

"Well GOOD is GOOD!", said Rizzo, who started to feel queasy, "though this time, good isn't so good...."

Rizzo then passed out.

"What just happened?", said Kermit.

"Ruzzu et my chillee und puhet oot", said The Swedish Chef.

"We've got to get Rizzo to the hospital", said Kermit.

"But first", said Gonzo, looking at the chef's pot of purple chili, "can I have some of this chili?"

"Better not", said Kermit, "that's what made Rizzo like that."

"Spoil sport", said Gonzo.

 

[Muppetgirl09]

Chapter 1

Bunsen and Beaker were carrying Bunsen's latest invention out of the Muppet boarding house basement.

"Ah, Beaker, we've done it again. Made another useful invention."

"Mee", sighed Beaker, giving Bunsen a slightly disagreeable look.

"This purple pool chemical will make pool water permanently clean", said Bunsen, "we'll test it out tonight."

Beaker gave a nervous look on his face.

"Oh, but I forgot the car keys. Stay right here and make sure nobody steals it."

Bunsen left, and Beaker quickly took it into the kitchen, hiding it in a lower cupboard, then ran back.

"Silly me, Beakie, I had the keys in my pocket the whole time", said Bunsen, who then noticed the purple chemicals were missing.

"What happened with our invention?"

"Mee mee mee mee mee mee mee mee", said Beaker, making a number of hand gestures, such as a gun pointed to his head and pretending to choke himself.

"Somebody stole our invention?", said Bunsen, "we'll have to go down to the police station and file a police report."

"Mee mee meep"

"What do you mean you don't remember what he looked like?"

"Mee mee mee mee mee"

"Oh, you only remember that he was wearing clothes. At least that narrows it down. Come along."

In the kitchen, The Swedish Chef was getting some food ready.

"Yee, mit due, berr brerr bee-doo-bee-dooo", hummed the chef as he was rummaging through the cupboard, when suddenly he found the purple chemical.

"Huh?", said a confused chef, "Dis wrk vwfth chillee?"

The Swedish Chef then gave a "what the hey" expression as he started making chili, pouring in the purple chemical.

Rizzo showed up after The Swedish Chef finished.

"Hey, Mr. Chef, what's cooking?", said Rizzo.

"Chillee!", said The Swedish Chef.

"Looks like purple chili", said Rizzo.

"Itt eeese prpo chillee", said the chef, showing the container and tossing it up in the air.

"Well, food is food", said Rizzo, who then an entire bowl of chili.

"Say, this was good", said Rizzo.

"That's easy for you to say", said Pops, passing by, "you'll eat anything, even if the chef makes it."

"Well GOOD is GOOD!", said Rizzo, who started to feel queasy, "though this time, good isn't so good...."

Rizzo then passed out.

"What just happened?", said Kermit.

"Ruzzu et my chillee und puhet oot", said The Swedish Chef.

"We've got to get Rizzo to the hospital", said Kermit.

"But first", said Gonzo, looking at the chef's pot of purple chili, "can I have some of this chili?"

"Better not", said Kermit, "that's what made Rizzo like that."

"Spoil sport", said Gonzo.

Write more!!! Plz for Elmo?!!

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

Rizzo was rushed to a hospital. Several of his friends were there, even if they weren't exactly close.

"Why am I here?", said Miss Piggy in the waiting room.

"Well, Mr. Frog", said the doctor, "Rizzo is in a coma."

"Will he be alright?", asked Kermit.

"I have no way of knowing", said the doctor, "I've only had my degree for a year. Anyway, do you happen to know what caused this?"

"Well, he ate some chili that the chef made", said Kermit.


The doctor went to The Swedish Chef, pen and clip board in hand.

"Okay, Mr. Chef, will you please tell me what all you put in the chili?"

"Wull, drr wuz dee spergherti, und hymbygr, und...."

"Wait, I can't write this down", said the doctor.

"Because you can't understand him?", said Kermit.

"Oh, I understood fine", said the doctor, "I have a minor in understanding Swedish and Mock Swedish, but my pen is out of ink."

Fozzie, Gonzo, and Pepe were sitting at a bench in the waiting room.

"I hope he's okay", said Fozzie.

"I wonder if he wrote a will, okay", said Pepe, "I hope he leaves me that rare magazine issue he has, the one missing from my collection, okay."

"It is not okay", said Fozzie, "He might not pull through!"

"Yeah, Pepe", said Gonzo, "it's not like this is one of my dangerous stunts."

"Oh", said Pepe, "I don't want you to leave me any of your dangerous stunts, okay."

Back where the doctor is...

"So you put purple stuff in the chili and made purple chili?", said the doctor, "I've heard of this. It's very rare for patients to go unconcious from eating purple chili, not because it's safe to eat, but because very few people will actually eat it, not matter how hungry they are. Everybody known to have tasted the stuff has gone unconcious, and I don't think anyone has ever regained conciousness from it."

"Oh dear", said Kermit.

"But as I've said, I've only been in the business for a year. I'll check and see if there are any known cases."

The doctor left.

Gonzo came in.

"So is Rizzo going to be okay?", asked Gonzo.

"It doesn't look good", said Kermit.

Then the scene zooms into Rizzo's head, showing his unconciousness, in a world with psychedellic purple colors surrounding the background. In a real production, most of the characters would be CGI.

"This is scary stuff", said Rizzo, "I hope I can find some food somewhere."

Rizzo found some big cheese.

"Wow, I must be in heaven", said Rizzo, then looking at his scary surroundings, "A very, very scary heaven, but at least they have cheese."

The cheeses turned around, revealing that the cheeses had eyes, mouths, and very sharp teeth.

"Hey, there's a tasty-looking rat!", said one cheese.

"We must be in heaven after all", said the other cheese.

"A scary heaven", said the first, "but still heaven."

"Uh-oh", said a scared Rizzo, who soon ran away from the cheeses as they chased Rizzo.

"Come back here you tasty-looking rat!", said the second cheese.

"You'll have to catch me first!", said Rizzo.

Rizzo found a floating mouse hole and jumped through it. The hole then floated up, higher than the cheeses could reach it.

"Looks like we're not in heaven after all", said the first cheese.

"You mean we're on...?', said the other.

"Of course we are", said the first.

Rizzo stuck his head out.

"N'ya n'ya n'ya", said Rizzo.

The mouse hole then started chewing onto Rizzo's head.

"Wait, what's going on?", said Rizzo.

"Tasty rat", said the hole.

"Oh no", said Rizzo, who then got sucked inside the hole, falling several feet to the ground.

"I can't believe I was swallowed alive by a mouse hole", said Rizzo, "what could be worse?"

Several big cats with glowing red eyes then turned around.

"I had to open my big mouth", said Rizzo.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Rizzo ran from the cats.

"You can't catch me!", said Rizzo, turning his head back as he ran... and saw that the cats were gone.

Rizzo stopped.

"That's strange", said Rizzo, not noticing that the cats were now on the other side of Rizzo. Rizzo walked away right as one of the cats was about to take his claws and slash him, just barely missing Rizzo.

All of a sudden, Rizzo found himself floating.

"Why am I floating? And why do I feel I'm under water?"

Rizzo then noticed that he was inside a bubble, floating into the air.

"How do I get out of here???", shouted Rizzo.

The bubble popped.

"I had to ask", said Rizzo, right before he fell down to the ground.

Rizzo got up, wiping his shirt. He then heard something running from behind.

Rizzo turned around, and saw a stampede of cats and evil cheeses.

"Oh no!", said Rizzo, who then ran.

Rizzo soon found himself in a place resembling the first level of Sonic the Hedgehog, even running in loops.

"This is ridiculous", said Rizzo.

Suddenly, Rizzo was in the first level from Super Mario Bros., though there were no enemies in front of him. Rizzo jumped over the pipes and bottomless pits, eventually jumping up to the top of the flag.

"That was amazing", said Rizzo.

Fireworks were then heard.

"I wonder what made that happen", said Rizzo.

Rizzo then went inside the castle... and found himself in a Pac-Man maze, with the various ghosts running around.

"What kind of world is this?", asked Rizzo, as he ran around, eating dots and narrowly avoiding the ghosts. Rizzo then ate a big pac pellet, and the ghosts turned blue.

"I'm afraid of what'll happen!", said Rizzo, running from ghosts, unaware that he could eat them now.

A cheese then came into the game, not one of the evil cheeses from earlier, but a video game graphic of a regular cheese.

"I hope that cheese won't eat me", said Rizzo, who munched his way to the cheese.

Rizzo then went out of one of the openings.... And was now in a plain purple space, with no doors or way out in sight.

"How am I gonna get out of this one?", asked Rizzo.

A square suddenly appeared.

"Maybe there's a way out in here", said Rizzo.

Rizzo opened the square, and there was a way out.

Rizzo was now in a hallway, and saw none other than the Red Hot Chili Peppers (the real band, not a chili pepper parody).

"Hey, you're the Red Hot Chili Peppers!", said Rizzo, "How'd you all get here?"

"We thought we ate some red hot chili peppers", said one of the members.

"But at our age we can't remember the difference between red and purple", said another member.

"And now we're here", said another.

A large purple dragon then busted his head through a wall.

"Not him again!", yelled one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers as they ran away.

"Ohh, rodent", said the dragon.

"I guess I'll be running again", said Rizzo.

"You guessed correctly!", said a game show host who came out of nowhere.

The fourth wall crumbled to reveal a live audience.

"You were a contestant on the hidden camera game show 'The Hidden Camera Game', and you won!"

"What do I win, an all-expense way out of here?", asked Rizzo.

"No", said the host, "you win these running shoes, perfect for running from the dragon."

"Wait, why did I stop what I'm doing again?", asked the dragon.

"Thanks for the gift", said Rizzo, taking the shoes and running.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

Back in the real world (outside of Rizzo's unconciousness), Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Pepe were all worrying about Rizzo.

"What'll we do without Rizzo?", asked Gonzo.

"We did plenty in our 2011 film", said Fozzie.

"You did too much without me as well, okay", said Pepe.

"Maybe if he recovers, I'll let him star in our next movie", said kermit.

"We're getting another movie, okay?", said Pepe.

"Well we've got to stay positive", said Kermit.

The doctor then came by.

"Well I've done some checking, and it turns out that there is only one known case of someone regaining consciousness after going unconscious from eating purple chili", said the doctor.

"Oh, great", said Kermit.

"That's wonderful!", said Rizzo.

"We're trying to contact him to see if he can tell us whatever he can to get unconscious", said the doctor, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to treat."

The doctor left.

"Well, it looks like Rizzo might pull through after all", said Fozzie.

"But it's not a sure-fire thing", said Kermit.

"Hopefully whoever had purple chili and survived will be able to save him", said Fozzie.

Back in Rizzo's unconscious mind...

"These running shoes are not helping", said Rizzo, "If only I had taken classes on tying shoelaces.

Rizzo then tripped and got up and ran in time to avoid the dragon.

"And yet somehow I am outrunning him", said Rizzo, who then noticed something odd, "wait, what's this?"

Rizzo was now running inside an exercise wheel, while the dragon was gone.

"Well, I guess I'm safe."

The wheel then broke, and Rizzo was running as the wheel spinned down a very steep hill.

"What will happen next???", cried Rizzo, who then noticed that he was somehow on top of the wheel, "How'd THIS happen?"

 

[kathy26]

Red Hot Chili Peppers I love them Especially Flea

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

Kermit and Gonzo were watching Rizzo in his hospital room.

"Paging Dr. Henson, Dr. Oz, Dr. Nelson, to the emergency room....", said a voice on the intercom.

"You know, Kermit, seeing Rizzo like that makes me want to reconsider my dangerous acts", said Gonzo, "but of course I'm not crazy."

The doctor came back in.

"Well, we've found the guy who has survived purple chili", said the doctor.

"Oh good", said Kermit.

The doctor opened the door, calling "Come on in!"

In came Uncle Deadly.

"Uncle Deadly?, said Kermit.

"You've had purple chili before?", asked Gonzo.

"Yes", said Uncle Deadly.

"But when?", asked Kermit.

"Do you remember that period between 1990 and 2011 when I wasn't in anything new with the Muppets?", asked Uncle Deadly.

"Oh, that explains it", said Kermit, "also explains why you didn't answer our offers for you to play the role of Blind Pew in Muppet Treasure Island."

"I could have been in Muppet Treasure Island???", said Uncle Deadly.

"We also sent you an offer to play Scrooge in The Muppet Christmas Carol", said Gonzo.

Uncle Deadly gave a slight smile, then "Anyway, I am an expert on purple chili. I went unconscious from it for ten years, then I figured a way out, all on my own, and then I became addicted."

"So this has happened twice to you?", said Kermit.

"Good thing I knew how to get out of it", said Uncle Deadly, "supported my addicition well."

"So what should we do?", asked the doctor.

"Not we", said Uncle Deadly, "Only I shall help. I need a bowl of purple chili. And also a bag of crumbled cracker crumbs."

Back inside Rizzo's unconsciousness, Rizzo was in a darkened purple forest.

"I don't think I'll ever get out of here", said Rizzo.

"Yes you will", said another Rizzo.

"Wait a minute", said Rizzo, "you're me."

"No, I'm you", said the other Rizzo, "and I know the way out of here. Follow me!"

"Don't listen to him", said another Rizzo, "it's a trap."

"He's lying", said the first second Rizzo, "he's just trying to kill you."

"No, he's the one lying", said the second second Rizzo.

"Actually, they're both lying", said a third Rizzo, "they don't even know how to get out of here."

"Well neither do you", said a fourth Rizzo.

More and more Rizzo's started showing up, each calling the others liars and claiming to be the one that knows the way out.

"STOP!", shouted an annoyed Rizzo (the real Rizzo), "I don't want out anymore!"

Rizzo then ran from the crowd of Rizzo's.

"One of us! One of us!", the crowd cheered.

Rizzo ran into a man with a food cart.

"Say, you look like you're hungry", said the man.

"I'm always hungry", said Rizzo.

"Here, have some purple chili", said the man.

"Okay", said Rizzo.

"STOP!", shouted Uncle Deadly.

"Uncle Deadly?", said Rizzo, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to save you", said Deadly, "don't take purple chili from this purple chili dealer. It will just make you unconscous."

"I already am unconscious", said Rizzo.

"Well you'll be unconscious in this land and be stuck in an even worse world."

"Tattle tale", said the purple chili dealer.

"But how do you know?", asked Rizzo.

"Because I've been here many times", said Deadly, "I'm the only one to go unconscious from purple chili and survive."

"Oh, that's you?", said the purple chili dealer, "I've always wanted to meet you. May I have your autograph?"

It started raining purple rain.

"Sometime later", said Deadly, "maybe I should buy this bowl of purple chili so I can return.

"It's purple rain", said Rizzo.

"I hate that song", said the dealer.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

Rizzo followed Uncle Deadly into a nearby cave.

"Now follow me", said Deadly.

"I've already been doing that", said Rizzo. It was completely dark (except for maybe their eyes).

"I can't see", said Rizzo.

"I'll hold onto your hand until we get to the light", said Deadly, "this is your hand, right?"

They then got exposed to a lot of purple smoke. Both coughed.

"This is not good", said Rizzo.

The smoke soon became smog.

"Hey, I feel like we're floating", said Rizzo.

"We are floating", said Deadly, "just stick your head out of this smog."

Rizzo stuck his head out, and saw that he was in a purple cloud high in the sky.

"This is weird", said Rizzo.

"And we still have at least another chapter left", said Uncle Deadly, sticking his head out.

The cloud was pouring purple rain underneath, and above, Rizzo saw all kinds of abstract, psychedelic images.

"Wow, this looks like it should have been an Electric Mayhem story", said Rizzo.

"Yes", said Uncle Deadly, "but they would enjoy this too much."

They then got sucked into a nearby tube, sending them way underground and into a room with a long stairway. They tumbled down the flight of stairs, screaming in pain, until they got to the very bottom.

"So you're the only one who has survived this", said Rizzo, "how did you figure it out?"

"Oh, let's just say I'm smarter than the other purple chili users", said Deadly.

They saw four doors, marked 1, 2, 3, and 4.

"Okay, let's go into door #1", said Uncle Deadly.

They entered, leading them straight back to the very top of the flight of stairs they fell down.

"We're here again?", said Rizzo.

"There's a pattern to this", said Deadly, "come on!"

They walked all the way down to the bottom, to the four doors again.

"Now let's go into door #3", said Deadly.

They did, leading them back to the top of the stairs.

"Not again!", said Rizzo.

They walked all the way back to the bottom of the stairs.

"Now we go to #2", said Uncle Deadly.

They went in, and were back at the top of the stairs. They once again took the long walk down.

"So we've gone through doors 1, 3, and 2", said Rizzo, "by that logic we go into door #4".

"No, Rizzo!", said Uncle Deadly.

But Rizzo was too late, as he walked into door #4, once again seeing the long flight of stairs.

"This is very annoying", said Rizzo, walking back down the stairs and to the four doors.

Rizzo went through door #3, back down the stairs, then through door #2, then back down the stairs, then door #1, and saw the stairs.

"Maybe I should backtrack", said Rizzo, going back through the door he had entered. He saw the long stairway.

"Well, I know it doesn't change when I go back", said Rizzo, "wait, did Uncle Deadly say something about a pattern?"

Uncle Deadly then came in from door #1.

"You know very well that I did!", said Uncle Deadly, "you should have listened to me."

"I know, I'm sorry", said Rizzo.

"Now follow me!", said Deadly.

But then another Uncle Deadly showed up from behind.

"Don't listen to him!", said the other Uncle Deadly, "he's a fraud!"

"No, he's a fraud", said the former Uncle Deadly.

"Oh no, not this again!", said Rizzo.

Each of the four doors opened,revealing other Uncle Deadly's.

"Yes, this again!", said the other Uncle Deadlys, right before they went back through those doors.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 7

"I'm the real Uncle Deadly", said one of the Uncle Deadly's (the one who showed up behind Rizzo).

"No, I am the real Uncle Deadly", said the other one.

"You were never the real Uncle Deadly", said the first one.

"Okay, I'll ask a question only the real one would know", said Rizzo, "or at least I assume the other wouldn't know it."

Rizzo thought for a second.

"Okay, what is my name?", asked Rizzo.

"It's Rizzo the Rat", said the Uncle Deadly behind him.

"I was going to say that!", said the Uncle Deadly by the door.

"Okay", said Rizzo, "Uh, who is my best friend?"

"Gonzo!", said the Uncle Deadly behind him.

"I was going to say that one, too!", said the Uncle Deadly by the door.

"Okay, uh..... How many years did The Muppet Show last?"

"Four years", said the Uncle Deadly behind Rizzo.

"I was going to say that", said the other Uncle Deadly.

"Really?", said the one behind Rizzo.

"Yes", said the one by the door, "The Muppet Show was on for four years, and I was going to say it!"

"I tricked you", said Deadly, "it was actually on for five years!"

"You are correct!", said Rizzo.

"Oh no!", said the Uncle Deadly duplicate, who started to disintegrate, "I'm melting! Melting!"

"Now follow my pattern", said the real Uncle Deadly, "we go into door #1..."

They went into door #1, then down the stairs, then door #3, then down the stairs, then door #2, then down the stairs, then door #1, then down the stairs, then door #4, then down the stairs, then door #2, and THEN they were in another room, one with a big golden statue of Uncle Deadly.

"Wow, we're finally in a different room", said Rizzo, "I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Actually the pattern wasn't supposed to end there", said Deadly, "we were supposed to go through door #2 again, then door #3 again, and THEN we'd be in a different room."

"They changed it to make room for this room", said the Uncle Deadly statue.

"You can talk??", said a freaked-out Rizzo.

"Well, Uncle Deadly is the only one so far to have survived the affects of purple chili, he deserves a statue that can talk, doesn't he?"

"Can you tell us if the way to the lights is still down that way?", said Uncle Deadly.

"Yes I can", said the statue.

They waited a minute.

"Well is it?", asked Rizzo.

"Yes", said the statue.

They left.

Then the statue started thinking something.

"Wait, if that rat regains consciousness, then they'll probably make a golden statue of him, and I won't be so special anymore... I've got to stop them!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 8

Uncle Deadly and Rizzo walked down a long hallway.

"How much longer do we have to walk down this hallway?", asked Rizzo.

"Until pigs fly", said Deadly.

A herd of pigs then flew past them.

"Okay, we go through that opening in the wall", said Deadly.

The wall appeared to have no opening.

"What opening in the wall?", asked Rizzo.

"Trust me!", said Deadly, as he walked into the opening, which was much like the wall in Labyrinth.

"Oh THAT wall", said Rizzo, as he followed Deadly.

As Rizzo went in and they headed the next way, out of sight, the golden Uncle Deadly statue ran by, then stopped.

"Man, this hallway is taking forever", said the statue, "Luckily, I know a short cut... Uh, I think."

He then continued down the hallway.

Rizzo and Deadly ran into a darkened room.

"Okay, now follow the music!", said Deadly.

The music was soft, but as they kept walking, it got louder and louder.

"Beautiful music, isn't it?", asked Deadly.

"I don't like the kind of music my grandparents grew up with", said Rizzo.

They kept walking forward, as the music kept getting louder, until they got up to the very top of a stairway, which led to nothing.

"Wait, do we really need to go farther?", asked Rizzo.

"What's the problem?", asked Deadly.

"If we go farther, we'll fall", said Rizzo.

"Oh, we went too far", said Deadly, "I was so into the music that I forgot to stop when we should. Let's backtrack!"

They went back down the stairs, until they got to the right volume level of the music.

"Okay, see that yellow line over there?", asked Deadly.

"Yes", said Rizzo.

"Follow the yellow line until we find the green line", said Deadly.