Dealing with depression and anxiety

DramaQueenMokey

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I am going to see my new therapist tomorrow. Wonderful as my counselor at school was, I cannot see her anymore only because I can't drive right now (seizures are still happening, I can't drive my car) so, she helped me with looking for someone nearer to my area.

Got into a screaming match with my mom and she agreed to take me even if she keeps using stigma-filled language such as 'insane' and 'crazy'; anyone else a person of color and only ever hear that mental health/all that stuff is 'white people problems?' Well, I get told its 'gringo problems' (gringo being Spanish slang for 'white people/person) but, still, that's not fair and I wish people would stop saying those things.

And, my parents battle in court finally ended and, we lost against my father, he doesn't have to help me with graduate school at all which, is some BS because, in the state I live in if a student is enrolled full-time in graduate or undergraduate studies, their non-custodial parent is obligated to pay until the student reaches age 22 but, the judge sided with him and bypassed this law.

That made me really upset and then, it lead to me making threats about taking my life but, I couldn't do that to the few people who are there for me or to the wonderful guy in my life but, still...I am not doing well in my graduate studies and am so scared about everything and have no idea what to do but, maybe my new therapist can help.

I keep crying and crying to which my mom only gets mad and calls me crazy. We got into a scuffle when she started screaming that she was sending me to an asylum and we both hit each other in the face and she scratched my eye; I've been lying and said it happened because my glasses broke on my face and scratched me (they really did break, though) and, now she's telling me not to tell my therapist about the scuffle.

I'll say whatever I like; she can't control me. I hate my parents; and, I hate that all my mom does is preach at me. I have no faith in a higher power after all of this junk that's happened to me and, if I got stuck with horrible parents like her and my father well, that's more of why I don't have any faith. I haven't told my boyfriend about any of this because all my ex did was preach at me and I don't want that. But, maybe next week during our weekly lunch or dinner, I'll strike up a serious convo with him.

Until then, though, I will see what my therapist recommends and I hope she'll be of some help to pull me out of this funk.

Either way, sending positive vibes to all you guys and wishing you the best <3
 

Pig'sSaysAdios

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I am going to see my new therapist tomorrow. Wonderful as my counselor at school was, I cannot see her anymore only because I can't drive right now (seizures are still happening, I can't drive my car) so, she helped me with looking for someone nearer to my area.

Got into a screaming match with my mom and she agreed to take me even if she keeps using stigma-filled language such as 'insane' and 'crazy'; anyone else a person of color and only ever hear that mental health/all that stuff is 'white people problems?' Well, I get told its 'gringo problems' (gringo being Spanish slang for 'white people/person) but, still, that's not fair and I wish people would stop saying those things.

And, my parents battle in court finally ended and, we lost against my father, he doesn't have to help me with graduate school at all which, is some BS because, in the state I live in if a student is enrolled full-time in graduate or undergraduate studies, their non-custodial parent is obligated to pay until the student reaches age 22 but, the judge sided with him and bypassed this law.

That made me really upset and then, it lead to me making threats about taking my life but, I couldn't do that to the few people who are there for me or to the wonderful guy in my life but, still...I am not doing well in my graduate studies and am so scared about everything and have no idea what to do but, maybe my new therapist can help.

I keep crying and crying to which my mom only gets mad and calls me crazy. We got into a scuffle when she started screaming that she was sending me to an asylum and we both hit each other in the face and she scratched my eye; I've been lying and said it happened because my glasses broke on my face and scratched me (they really did break, though) and, now she's telling me not to tell my therapist about the scuffle.

I'll say whatever I like; she can't control me. I hate my parents; and, I hate that all my mom does is preach at me. I have no faith in a higher power after all of this junk that's happened to me and, if I got stuck with horrible parents like her and my father well, that's more of why I don't have any faith. I haven't told my boyfriend about any of this because all my ex did was preach at me and I don't want that. But, maybe next week during our weekly lunch or dinner, I'll strike up a serious convo with him.

Until then, though, I will see what my therapist recommends and I hope she'll be of some help to pull me out of this funk.

Either way, sending positive vibes to all you guys and wishing you the best <3
I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. But just remember, you've been in some tough spots before, you will get out of this one.

And, please, don't be afraid to tell your boyfriend what's going on. The worst thing you can do is let past experiences keep you from opening up to other people. If you can't talk to him about anything, than you'll have trouble talking to him about other things, even simple things. I know because, that's my relationship with my father- we still love each other very much, and we have our moments, but for the most part, we never talk to each other. Even making small talk is hard for us.
This'll sound cliche, but talking to people that care helps.

Anyway, I wish you all the best with your new therapist. And you don't have to believe in a higher power, but i'll be praying for you anyway.
 

MikaelaMuppet

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I am going to see my new therapist tomorrow. Wonderful as my counselor at school was, I cannot see her anymore only because I can't drive right now (seizures are still happening, I can't drive my car) so, she helped me with looking for someone nearer to my area.

Got into a screaming match with my mom and she agreed to take me even if she keeps using stigma-filled language such as 'insane' and 'crazy'; anyone else a person of color and only ever hear that mental health/all that stuff is 'white people problems?' Well, I get told its 'gringo problems' (gringo being Spanish slang for 'white people/person) but, still, that's not fair and I wish people would stop saying those things.

And, my parents battle in court finally ended and, we lost against my father, he doesn't have to help me with graduate school at all which, is some BS because, in the state I live in if a student is enrolled full-time in graduate or undergraduate studies, their non-custodial parent is obligated to pay until the student reaches age 22 but, the judge sided with him and bypassed this law.

That made me really upset and then, it lead to me making threats about taking my life but, I couldn't do that to the few people who are there for me or to the wonderful guy in my life but, still...I am not doing well in my graduate studies and am so scared about everything and have no idea what to do but, maybe my new therapist can help.

I keep crying and crying to which my mom only gets mad and calls me crazy. We got into a scuffle when she started screaming that she was sending me to an asylum and we both hit each other in the face and she scratched my eye; I've been lying and said it happened because my glasses broke on my face and scratched me (they really did break, though) and, now she's telling me not to tell my therapist about the scuffle.

I'll say whatever I like; she can't control me. I hate my parents; and, I hate that all my mom does is preach at me. I have no faith in a higher power after all of this junk that's happened to me and, if I got stuck with horrible parents like her and my father well, that's more of why I don't have any faith. I haven't told my boyfriend about any of this because all my ex did was preach at me and I don't want that. But, maybe next week during our weekly lunch or dinner, I'll strike up a serious convo with him.

Until then, though, I will see what my therapist recommends and I hope she'll be of some help to pull me out of this funk.

Either way, sending positive vibes to all you guys and wishing you the best <3
Sorry to hear that you are dealing with all of this right now.
 

Pig'sSaysAdios

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So, you guys may remember last year I mentioned on the now deleted "frown" thread that I was kind of depressed and really really scared to talk to people. Well, i'm doing much better now. I've found going outside and exercising really helps improve your mood and your energy. Reading the bible and praying has also helped me tremendously. I think I was also depressed because I wasn't getting much accomplished in school, so I felt increasingly like I was a failure and I was feeling quite disillusioned by studying. But now, i've mustered up the motivation to really keep going, and i'm learning more and i'm a much better student than i've ever been. And I feel much more creative these days.
As for the social anxiety, i'm still pretty shy but, recently i've met a group of kids my age that are super friendly. They were all extremely welcoming and fun, and they really seem to care about what I have to say. I really feel like i've finally found my people.

Life is good :smile:.
 
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fuzzygobo

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As someone who has gone through what most of you have, let me help make things a little easier for you.

I have a few tips you can apply to your lives that can help make dealing with struggles a little easier. These come from a few decades of experience, and sometimes making the same mistake until finally getting it right.

1. Stay away from negative people. Enthusiasm is contagious, but negativity can suck the life out of you. The moaners, complainers, nay-sayers, quitters,
(you know who these people are in your life, and if you're one of them, you need some fresh air), the people who have nothing going on in their lives, can steal your joy, make you into one of them. Don't give them the satisfaction.

2. Don't worry about things you can't change. You can't change your parents. You can't change the crappy stuff on tv (the best you can do is turn it off).
You can't change the weather. All you can change is you, and how you deal with things. That's enough of a job for one person to handle.

3. Don't worry (too much) about making mistakes. We're all going to make mistakes (and I have a good head start on most of you). Whether the mistake is big or small, the important thing is to learn from it, and look for patterns so you don't make the same mistake(s) again. It might take a few tries.
Learning is a valuable tool when mistakes happen. It can help you later in life. You learn by screwing up. You learn by trying. You learn by going for it. You learn by doing.

3a. Don't be afraid of trying. Even if something seems scary, or impossible to do, even trying a little (even if you fail in your attempt) is better than not trying at all.
Some people never try things, because they are afraid of disappointment, afraid of failure, afraid of change, afraid of how things might turn out (even if it turns out good). So instead of trying, some people stay in their comfort zone, which ironically enough, gets uncomfortable if you stay there too long. If you never try, you never get to see what you MIGHT be able to do. You might amaze yourself. But people who never try end up with a very dull, boring, mediocre life, and that's not how life was intended to be.

This came to mind when last year people were posting about their driving experiences. How some have learned to drive, in spite of fears, doubts, misgivings if they can do it. Others might have tried and given up on the thought of driving. Too scary. Too hard. Too much to concentrate on.
Some of you can drive, others, may never be able to drive. But don't let fear make the decision for you.

4. Bad times, hard times, difficult times, we all have them or went through them. Weeks, months, years sometimes. But bad times do not last forever.
School, college, jobs, parents, relationships, some can take a toll on you. Some might make you want to give up. But during the hardest times, is when we grow the most as people. If everything was always easy all the time, things get stagnant real fast. Even in the hardest times, good things can still happen. Keep looking for the good things, They are there, maybe closer to you than you think.

God only knows what possessed me to write this, but take what you will from it. If it helps somebody, my job is done. Peace Out (Actually with me, Peace is always IN. 8))
 
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newsmanfan

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I stop breathing when I sleep, and now I know this it makes it very hard for me to sleep. Which in turn is starting to depress me.
This may have been suggested already, but you very likely need a CPAP or similar machine for sleeping. Sleep apnea can be fatal. My fiance uses one, every night. It may look awkward, but it keeps him alive.

:news: Also, he can completely bury himself in the blankets and still breathe through the air hose, which experts agree significantly diminishes your odds of being eaten by monsters!
 

newsmanfan

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As someone who has gone through what most of you have, let me help make things a little easier for you.

I have a few tips you can apply to your lives that can help make dealing with struggles a little easier. These come from a few decades of experience, and sometimes making the same mistake until finally getting it right.

1. Stay away from negative people. Enthusiasm is contagious, but negativity can suck the life out of you. The moaners, complainers, nay-sayers, quitters,
(you know who these people are in your life, and if you're one of them, you need some fresh air), the people who have nothing going on in their lives, can steal your joy, make you into one of them. Don't give them the satisfaction)
.

THIS. Frog yes. This goes x100 for anyone who wants to make YOU the beast of burden for their issues.
 

DramaQueenMokey

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Doing my best grad school wise; I would be doing a lot better in one of my intro classes if I didn't second-guess myself constantly. That bit me in the butt and I got an F on the 'material check quiz' for the week, all because I was doubting myself and the answers I had put first were correct -_- I have been beating myself up about it over the past couple days and, I need to stop that but, it's hard.

Sure, the university offers a 'forgiveness' thing where I can take the class and all over again but, I really need to see what to do and, that on top of that, I still can't drive due to the seizures but, my nerve therapist found where the stress and all hit from if that makes any sense.

And like, I just want to drive my car again and ASAP. Right now, being unable to drive makes me feel like the song 'Inútil' from the musical In The Heights. (Inútil is Spanish for useless) And, I especially want to drive again so I can go and support my man in his Policeman Softball League <3 He really makes me happy and his encouragement of my education/etc... and all is amazing. Plus, when I told him about all my health baggage he said he'd never leave me because of it and that my poor health isn't something that takes away from who I am or how he feels about me and not to worry about it <333.

I'm a little nerve-wracked especially since my undergrad graduation ceremony is coming soon and, the last thing I want to do is have the dinner/see my family; I was always the kid who would never learn English yet, now they want to celebrate me!? The only good things are that my man and two friends will be there and make me feel like less of a piece of garbage.
 
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