Another Beat the Time sketch!

GSmiley2007

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Here it is... and I'm going to include another non-Sesame Street Muppet, too!

ANNOUNCER (Jerry Nelson): It's time for another episode of your favorite wacky-stunt show, Beat... the Time! And here is your host, Guy Smiley!

(once again, Guy struggles with the gold curtains)

GUY: (in his usual enthusiastic way) THANK YOU! THANK YOU! This is Guy Smiley, America's favorite game show host welcoming you to the season 46 premiere of Beat the Time! Now let's meet today's contestant from Sesame Street, Biff the carpenter!

BIFF: Hey, Guy!

GUY: Hello, Biff! Today, something special is going to happen.

BIFF: What is it? Tell Me!

GUY: You're going to play our impossible stunt! Are you ready?

BIFF: OK, Guy. Give it to me!

GUY: You must find five things that start with the letter W. And you have 50 seconds to do it!

BIFF: Sounds pretty tough. But I'll give it a shot.

GUY: Ready, set, GO!

BIFF: So, do I start, or what?

GUY: YES, BIFF! GO, GO, GO! Can he do it? Biff has 50 seconds to find five things that start with W!

BIFF: I've got a glass of water!

(fanfare sounds)

GUY: Excellent! "Water" begins with the letter W. Now you've got 42 seconds left to find four more. GET GOING!

BIFF: OK, Guy!

GUY: Biff has 42 seconds left to find four more--

(An orange-colored Anything Muppet boy runs in)

MUPPET BOY (Jerry Nelson): Hey, that guy just took my glass of water! I'm so thirsty! Hey, aren't you America's favorite game show host, Guy Smiley?

GUY: Yes, I am! But we're playing a game right now! Get off the stage while Biff has to look for four more things beginning with W!

BIFF: I've found a watermelon!

(fanfare)

GUY: Wonderful! Now you've got to find three more W things! GO ALREADY! Biff now has 31 seconds to--

(A green-colored Anything Muppet grocer runs in)

GREEN GROCER (Marty Robinson): Hey, that carpenter stole my watermelon without paying me money!

GUY: Listen, this is no time for complaining! Get off the stage while Biff is looking for three more things that start with the letter W!

(as the grocer runs off, Biff returns with a wagon)

BIFF: Look, Guy! I've found a wagon!

(fanfare)

GUY: THAT'S GREAT, BIFF! Now you've got 22 seconds to look for two more things that start with W. GO GO GO GO ALREADY! Can Biff find two more--

(Two purple Anything Muppet girls rush in)

FIRST GIRL (Fran Brill): Hey, that man stole our wagon!

SECOND GIRL (Karen Prell): And he didn't even say "please"! We are so mad at-- hey, you're Guy Smiley! Can we have your autograph?

GUY: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR AUTOGRAPHS! GET OFF THE STAGE WHILE BIFF IS LOOKING FOR TWO MORE THINGS THAT START WITH W!

BIFF: Here's a watch!

(fanfare)

GUY: Now you've got to find one more thing that starts with W! Go for it! Biff has 15 seconds--

(a yellow colored old Anything Muppet man runs in)

YELLOW MAN (Richard Hunt): Hey, a young man just stole my watch! Have you seen him, Mr. Smiley?

GUY: He's busy looking for one more thing that starts with W, sir. Now get lost!

BIFF: I can't find anything else that starts with W!

GUY: WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO! YOU'VE ONLY GOT 10 SECONDS LEFT!

(Biff runs off, and the audience counts down)

GUY: Where could Biff be?

WEMBLEY FRAGGLE (from off-stage): Hey, what are you doing? Put me down, you silly creature!

BIFF: Here's the last one, Guy!

(buzzer)

GUY: I am sorry, but that is a Fraggle, and "Fraggle" doesn't start with a W! Too bad, Biff.

BIFF: Oh, dear. I'm sorry, Sully!

GUY: Although I don't think I've met a Fraggle before. Who are you?

WEMBLEY: My name is Wembley, and I come from Fraggle Rock--

(before Wembley can finish speaking, the winning siren goes off)

GUY: Wait a minute! "Wembley" starts with the letter W... that means you've won our game, Biff!

BIFF: Yaaaaay! I did it, Sully!

(Sully runs to the stage from the audience)

GUY: Now, because you won our impossible stunt, you can pick anything you want as a prize. What'll it be? A trip to Cabo? $100,000? A new Porsche? What do you want, Biff?

BIFF: I don't know, Guy. What do you think, Sully?

(Sully points to the car, then the trip, then the money)

GUY: What's it going to be, Biff?

BIFF: Sully says that I should get everything!

GUY: Unfortunately, you can only pick one prize! Will it be the trip, cash, or car?

BIFF: I'll take the trip!

GUY: Excellent choice, Biff! Tune in for another episode of Beat the Time! Good-bye, everybody!

WEMBLEY: I wish I was back at Fraggle Rock with Gobo, Boober, Red, and Mokey instead of with that silly creature! (faints)

ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned for "Squeal of Fortune", next on WCTW!
 

mikealan

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Here's my little addition to this sketch to make it more funnier. It's right after Guy says to Biff, "Excellent choice, Biff!" and before he says "Tune in for another episode of Beat the Time! Good-bye, everybody!":

(An orange Anything Muppet boy, a green Anything Muppet grocer, two purple Anything Muppet girls and a yellow old Anything Muppet man re-enter the studio.)

FIRST GIRL (Fran Brill): There he is! There's that man who stole our stuff beginning with W! Let's get him!

(an angry mob begins to chase Biff)

GUY SMILEY: Well that's all of the time we have for today! Tune in for another episode of Beat the Time! Good-bye, everybody!
 

mikealan

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I forgot just one thing to tell you what I think about this fan-fic:

Very funny!
 

mikealan

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For those AM's in this BTT fan-fic, I imagine they could be:

Orange-colored Anything Muppet boy=Small Orange Anything Muppet
Green-colored Anything Muppet grocer=Green Anything Muppet
Two purple Anything Muppet girls:
First Girl=Purple Anything Muppet
Second Girl=Small Purple Anything Muppet
Yellow colored old Anything Muppet man=Orange Gold Anything Muppet

What do ya think?
 

mikealan

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Would it be funnier if Biff would bring in ten things beginning with the letter W besides five? Along with a glass of water, a watermelon, a wagon, a watch and Wembley Fraggle, he should bring in Oscar's pet worm Slimey, wheels from a car, a wig and Wolfgang the Seal, and he should pour water all over Prairie Dawn to make her "wet."
 
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