A Muppet Play

[theprawncracker]

I CAN'T FEEL MY HEARING AID!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH THAT IS SO HILLARIOUS IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!! Ok...Yes it is...That's why it's hillarious...er...Yeah...

I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH!!!! I'M STAN!!!! RUNNING GAG!!! LOVE IT!!!!

 

[TogetherAgain]

If I had more energy, and if my homework was really done, I would sing your praises... but I don't and it isn't, so I shall simply ditto Prawnie's post, because I agree with it.

 

[Fraggleforever]

Chapter 5

The curtain opened for act II. On stage, was a scene taking place in a middle ages market place with many Muppets walking around, wearing English garb. Romeo entered stage left, with his head hanging low. A musical intro began, and he began to sing.
"And I am all alone.
There is no one here beside me.
My problems have all gone,
and there is no one to deride me..."
He sighed and began speaking.
"Oh, where will I find her?"
Rizzo ran on stage holding a scroll, and began to speak.
"Hear ye, hear ye! Presenting, the king, queen, and princess Juliet from the kingdom over the hill!"
Clifford, Spamala, and Miss Piggy entered the stage, with crowns on their heads and wearing royal attire. Clifford, still wearing his sunglasses,proclaimed,
"Citizens of.....whatever this place is called. We, the royal family from across the hill, invite all of you to a "partay" we will be having in two weeks."
Kermit....oops..I mean Romeo, was among the large group of Muppets listening to king Clifford. Juliet was looking at the large group, until she saw Romeo. Romeo, at the same time, looked at Juliet. Suddenly, lovely violin music began to play, being played by Scooter. Clifford stopped talking and looked at Scooter.
"Man, knock it off."
"I'm Stan!"
Scooter ran off.
Clifford shook his head.
"So then citizens, I expect you all to be there. Until then, keep on truckin ya'll!"
The group cheered for the king and queen. Juliet wasn't paying attention, for she was still staring at Romeo. Spamela grabbed Juliet's arm.
"Come on honey, or we will be late for dinner."
Juliet resisted a little bit, just for another glimpse at Romeo, but was tugged away.
As the King, Queen, and Juliet was exiting, Andy and Randy pig was throwing flowers and jumping around like dimwits.
"Horray for the King!"
"Horray for the Queen!"
"Horray for Juliet!"
"Horray for apples!"
"Horray for newspapers!"
"Horray for milk trucks!"
Everyone stopped what they were doing and yelled at the pigs,
"KNOCK IT OFF!!!!"
"Sorry...."
Romeo went in front of the crowd and proclaimed,
"Hark! I am not sure, but I think I have found my true love, but alas, she lives over the hill, and my father told me never to go there. This is a complicated problem, but I must follow my heart."
Zippidy Zap tapped Kermit on the shoulder.
"You know what else is weird? Nobody is talking in Shakespearian talk anymore."
Kermit looked at him.
"What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"This is my suiliquy. Meaning only I can talk, and nobody else can interact."
Scooter ran up and tapped Kermit on the shoulder.
"I'm Stan."
Kermit frowned.
"Look, the point is..."
Baskerville entered the conversation.
"What are you guys talking about over here?"
Zippidy answered.
"How he gets to talk to the audience while we walk around behind him awkwardly."
"Well that's not fair!"
"I'm Stan!"
While the three were arguing, Kermit slipped away and exited stage right. Baskerville proclaimed,
"Well, if nothing else, I think this scene is dynamite."
Crazy Harry popped up.
"Did somebody say "dynamite"?!?!?!"
"NO!!!!"
KABOOM!!!!!!!!
The villiage was in shambles as the smoke cleared. The Muppets got up and dusted theirselves off as the curtains closed, signaling the end of act II.
Up in the balcony,
"Hey Statler,"
"Yeah Waldorf?"
"It looks like they bombed early."
Crazy Harry popped up.
"Did somebody say bombed?!?!"
"NO!!!"
KABOOM!!!
As the smoke cleared, Statler and Waldorf's clothes were burned and in rags.
"How come we're getting the short end of the stick tonight?"
Crazy Harry popped up again.
"Did somebody say "stick"?!?!"
"That wasn't even a explosive reference!"
"HA! You said "explosive"!!!!"
KABOOOOMMM!!!
"......me and my big mouth...."

 

[Fraggleforever]

Chapter 6

Act III opened to a balcony at night. Juliet walked out onto the balcony, sighed and looked at the moon.
"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name! I...."
She was interupted by Beauregard, who was the guard outside the tower.
"NINE OCLOCK AND ALL IS WELL!!!"
"WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN?! I'M TRYING TO POUR MY HEART OUT HERE!!" Juliet yelled.
"OH!....oh....sorry."
"Now, where was I? Oh yeah, deny thy father, and refuse thy name. I..."
"NINE O ONE OCLOCK AND ALL IS WELL!!!!"
"THAT'S IT!!!" She stormed down the tower to the outside where Beauregard was standing.
"Hello Juliet! How are you?"
"HIYA!!!!" Juliet stormed back up the tower, leaving Beauregard in a cumpled heap.
".....I'm dizzy."
Scooter ran on stage.
"I'm Stan!"
Scooter ran off stage.
Kermit entered from stage left, hiding in the bushes. He looked up at the balcony, and began his line.
"What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the north. Is that right?" He looked at a penquin holding the cue cards.
"Well, that is what it says."
Juliet looked around. "Is someone there?"
Romeo looked up and saw Juliet. He went up to the balcony and said.
"Um....hi there. Can I come up?"
"Sure! Climb the vine."
The penquin holding the cue cards ran on stage.
"Hey! That rhymes!"
Romeo shoved him off. He climbed the vine and sat down on the banister.
"I was wondering.....um.....do you....uh...."
"Yes?" She gazed at him with her big blue eyes.
"Would you like to go to the dance with me?"
"Oh.....uh....I would love to...but my mom and dad don't want me to have anything to do with you."
"Oh....."
"But I want to!"
"Well, I could wear a mask..."
"Brilliant! Oh Romy, you're so smart."
"Awww.....thanks."
A light turned on inside the tower.
"Juliet? Are you awake?"
"Oh no! It's my housekeeper! Quick! Get lost!"
She shoved him off the balcony onto a semiconscious Beauregard.
"Sorry!"
Romeo got up and dusted himself off. Beauregard grabbed him.
"Ha! Who are you, and what are you doing here?"
"Uh.....hey! What's that?!" Romeo pointed over to a distance. Beauregard let go of him and looked.
"What? Where?!"
Romeo ran off stage left.
"I don't see anything! Hmm....maybe if I keep going in that direction....." He exited stage right.
Up on the balcony, George the Janitor was talking to Juliet.
"Who where you talking to?"
"Uh.....no one! I was.....uh.....reading!"
"Oh...well keep it down." George exited.
Juliet looked off into the distance.
"See you soon, my Romeo." She went back into the tower.
The curtains closed, signaling the end of act III.
Statler and Waldorf shook their heads.
"Well, what do you think of their acting?"
"I don't think they're lacking anything."
"You old fool! Get your hearing aid fixed!"
"A maid mix? And you call me a old fool!"
Waldorf smacked him in the face, causing it to go inward.
"......old fool."

 

[G-MAN]

I love the whole thing "I'm dizzy. I'm Stan.", that part really had me cracking up, and the song "To Morrow" and Gonzo's directing choices, everything was perfect.

 

[Fraggleforever]

Chapter 7

Act IV opened up to a medival road scene, with a coach being driven by two horses. It entered stage right, but another one entered at stage left. They crashed into each other, causing the horses, and the drivers, to fall to the ground.
"Who is responsible for this?!" bellowed King Rowlf from one of the coaches.
"Yo man, I was going to ask the same thing!" replied King Clifford.
Rowlf, Anne Sue, and Romeo got out of the coach from the right, and Clifford, Spamala and Juliet got out from the left.
"What's the big idea?"
"What do you mean by that?!"
"I asked you first!!"
"Asked me what?!"
"Honey, don't shout."
[Mocking] "Honey, don't shout."
"Oh no you didn't!!"
As the four were arguing, Romeo and Juliet looked at each other. Romeo gave a little wave, Juliet blushed, and waved back. Back to the argument,
"That's it! There is only one way to settle this!"
"I was thinking the same thing to, man!"
[Both] Vegetable war!!!
The four got behind their destroyed coaches and started throwing exploding vegetables at each other. In front of the madness, Romeo held Juliet's hands and said,
"I look forward to the party in a few days."
"Me too."
Meanwhile, Rowlf bellowed,
"Dang! I'm out of vegetables!"
Clifford replied,
"Man, me too!"
The four walked in front of the coaches, they saw Romeo and Juliet holding hands.
"Romeo! What are you doing?!"
"Juliet! How could you?!"
Rowlf grabbed Romeo by the arm,
"That's it! You're grounded for a week!"
Clifford grabbed Juliet's arm.
"No Ti Kuan Do lessons for a week!"
The families went their seperate ways, with Romeo and Juliet waving goodbye to each other.
No one was on stage.
Backstage, Kermit was confused.
"Isn't that the end of the act?"
"Scooter didn't say his line yet."
"SCOOTER!!!"
Scooter ran to the stage.
He got on the stage, breathlessly.
"I....whew....I'm.....Stan." He fainted.
The curtains closed, but Scooter's feet were still visible.
Up at the balcony,
"This isn't anything like the story at all."
"What do you mean?"
"I saw the production of Romeo and Juliet in 1942, with the legendary actor, Chris Magerk."
"Chris Magerk?"
Uncle Deadly popped up behind them.
"You called?"
Statler, being really scared, jumped from the balcony.
"YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
[Thud]
Waldorf looked at Uncle Deadly.
"So.....you're Chris Magerk. I saw you on broadway."
"You did?"
"Yeah. Your performance made me cry."
"You did?"
"Yeah, I cried "BOOOOO! Heh heh heh heh."
Uncle Deadly smacked him in the face, causing it to go inward.
".......so this is what Statler goes through........ow....."

 

[Fraggleforever]

Chapter 8

Act V opened up to a ballroom scene, where a large group of Muppets were talking amongst themselves. It was the night of the big "partay" of King Clifford and Queen Spamala. They were already there, sitting on their thrones, watching the dancing of the subjects. Bill the bubble guy, holding a long horn, played a long note and proclaimed,
"Here ye, here ye! And now, introducing, bubbles coming out of my head!"
Bubbles came out of his head, and the Muppets groaned.
"We saw that already!"
"Big whoop!"
Bill, dejected, began speaking again,
"And now, introducing, Juliet!"
The large doors on top of the stairs opened, but instead, a hairy alien with a tropical shirt entered.
"Where the heck am I? Where's Willy?"
Clifford stood up, russling through his script pages.
"That's....uh...that's not Juliet!"
The alien scratched his head.
"Juliet? I'm Alf, man!"
Juliet came out behind him.
"Excuse me, hairy."
"For the last time, I'm Alf!"
She shoved him down the stairs. At the bottom, he got up and dusted himself off.
"Geeze! A guy takes a wrong turn in the universe, and he gets shoved down the stairs. Go figure."
Juliet decended the stairs, with every Muppet, including Alf, watching her, with one person in paticular.
Romeo, dressed in black and wearing a Zorro mask, was standing by the punch bowl, along with Eugene the weasel and Nigel the Director.
Juliet proclaimed,
"Who wants to dance with me?"
Romeo stepped forward.
"I do, fair maiden."
Juliet, knowing him well, took his hand and they began to dance to the song, "You're the inspiration," by Chicago, as played by the Electric Mayhem.
The Muppets started slow dancing, including Alf and his partner, the screaming girl."
"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SHAVED?!?!"
"When was the last time you piped down?"
"TOUCHE!!!"
Suddenly, the doors swung opened, with Rowlf and Anne Sue entering.
"Where is my son?!"
Clifford stood up from his throne.
"What makes you think he would be here?!"
Scooter ran on stage.
"I'm Stan!!"
Scooter ran off stage.
Rowlf glanced at the audience.
"You know, that is getting annoying. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah....ROMEO! Get yourself over here right now!!"
Romeo gulped. "Juliet, I think it is time for me to go."
"Who said that?!" Rowf bellowed. He walked in the large group of Muppets and walked up to Romeo. He took off his mask, and he found him.
"There you are! What in the world were you thinking?!"
"I love her dad! And she loves me! This feud between you and her dad is ridiculous!"
"RIDICULOUS?! That's it! You're coming home with me right now!"
"You can't make me!! I am a grown man...er....frog! There is no way you can make me go home!"
Rowlf snapped his fingers, and Sweetums smashed through the wall, grabbed Romeo, and ran out the same wall.
"I love you Juliet!"
"I love you too Romeo!"
Clifford looked at the wall.
"Man, you smashed my wall! You're paying for that!"
"I am not!" Rowlf retaliated.
"Well then, there is only one way to settle this. At dawn, we go to war!"
"Sounds fine to me!"
"Assemble your finest army. You're going to need it!"
"I will!"
"Good!"
"Good!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
There was a awkward silence, then Rowlf left through the hole in the wall.
Juliet pleaded with her father.
"Father, please!"
"Go to your room! Now!"
Juliet, with tears in her eyes, ran up the stairs and through the door.
Spamala put her hand on Cliffords shoulder.
"You were a little hard on her."
"I know...but.....she will forget all about it. We go to war tomorrow, and that kingdom won't exist anymore." Clifford exited, followed by Spamala.
The crowd of Muppet that were dancing previously stood around awkwardly. Scooter ran on stage.
"I'm Stan!"
Scooter ran off stage.
Alf was about to ask a question, only to be silenced by Zippedy Zap.
"Dude, don't ask."
The curtains closed, signaling the end of act V.
At the balcony,
"Hey Statler, this is getting good!"
"Good as in chocolate good, or good as in finding a dollar good?"
"Whoa whoa whoa! This isn't that good!"
"Do ho ho ho ho!!"

 

[Fraggleforever]

[Gonzo looks behind him, noticing the lack of response from the audience.]
"Well, I think this would be a great time for a intermission."
[Gets up from his seat, drags a barrel of apples from the backstage, and proceeds to eat.]
"Delicious."

 

[theprawncracker]

"What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the north. Is that right?" He looked at a penquin holding the cue cards.

AH!!! OH!!! OH!!! OH!!!! AH!!!! YOU USED A PENGUIN WITH A CUE CARD!!! OH THANK YOU FOR THE REFERENCE!! OH (((((HUGS)))))

This story is amazing!! I love it so much it's hillarious!! I can see it all happening so well! It's awesome!!

 

[TogetherAgain]

<points at prawnie's post> Agreed.

Sorry I haven't been commenting... I love it! (And, I love Gonzo's comment about an intermission due to lack of comments. Just don't make it a long intermission, okay? There's been plenty of time for a bathroom break, I think it's time to get back to the play... hehe...)