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A Nest Divided: A Sam the Eagle Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by charlietheowl, Aug 13, 2012.

  1. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Good evening and welcome to my second story on Muppet Central, A Nest Divided. This is an idea I've been inspired to tackle ever since I saw this video online:

    I hope you enjoy my take on Sam the Eagle's family life. This story is going to be much more serialized than my last story, so I'll try to work out a semi-regular schedule for updating.

    Chapter One
    "Toothbrush…check. Toothpaste…check. Dental floss…check. Mouthwash…check."​
    "Sure are keeping things thorough, Sam."​
    "Yes, Rowlf, this is so I don't forget a single thing. I wouldn't want to be caught short-handed during my vacation."​
    "You're going to Virginia, not the Antarctic Circle. I think they have pharmacies out there too."​
    "Still, one must be prepared."​
    "I guess you're right, plus if you wanted to go to the Antarctic Circle the penguins left yesterday." Rowlf watched intently while Sam doubled-checked all the clothing he would need for the trip. He sure packed a lot of clothes for someone who so rarely wears any.
    "So you're going to visit the old wifey, eh? How is she?"​
    Sam looked disgusted at Rowlf's question. "The old wifey? Show a little respect, please."​
    "Okay, how is Mrs. Matilda the Eagle doing? Haven't seen her in a couple of years."​
    There was an awkward pause, as if Sam was unsure how to broach the topic. Rowlf felt a slight pang of regret for parsing the topic, as Sam was fairly reticent about his personal life. His kids only received passing mention, in a solitary photo on his desk, or the sporadic mention of an email. Mostly he appeared to be concerned with keeping all the other Muppets in line and assorted political manners.​
    "She's busy, with her teaching."​
    "Ah, yes, your wife works as a professor."​
    "Yes, American History and Constitutional Analysis, two fine subjects."​
    Rowlf smiled, sensing that Sam was back in safer conversational territory.​
    "That's how you guys met, right? American History."​
    A streak of embarrassment flshed across Sam's cheek, but he quickly composed himself. It was a long time ago that he met Matilda (she was Matty then), across the desk of the library at the University of Virginia. She was returning the very book he needed for American History 1601, 25 Things You Didn't Know About The Monroe Doctrine. He asked her how it was, they started talking, and pretty soon they became inseparable. ​
    "Yes, we bonded over our love of this great country."​
    "I'm pretty sure you guys bonded over something else too."​
    If looks could kill, Sam would have at least been arrested for third-degree assault.​
    "Just kidding, Sam. You need any help with your bags?"​
    "If you don't mind taking the one on the bed while I grab this suitcase, and we can head out to the driveway."​
    The two muppets shuffled downstairs, passing through the living room, where Camilla was leading her fellow chickens in a jazzercise routine, and onto the front porch, where Beauregard was varnishing the deck, and his overalls, and the furniture, and the front door for good measure.​
    "You're going to miss us these three weeks, Sam. You're going to miss all this," Rowlf gestured as they walked out to the car.​
    "Hmmph. It will be good to get out to the country, where things are a little more sane. Do you know what I saw Thog doing this morning?"​
    "Making a salad!"​
    "What's wrong with that?"​
    "He didn't need to bring an entire vegetable stand into the kitchen to do it!"​
    "Hey, I'm all for people eating healthier."​
    Sam threw his bags in the trunk and the two of them headed out to the airport. Rowlf had agreed to drive Sam there so he wouldn't have to leave his car in the lot for such a long time, lest any cockroaches try to claim squatter's rights.​
    "So are your kids going to be home?"​
    "Yes, I think so. It will be good for the four of us to spend some quality time together. We might go to Monticello."​
    "Your kids haven't been around to visit much lately, not even during the holidays. How are they?"​
    "Well, you know how busy college students can get. I've always encouraged them to take classes during the winter sessions so they can get ahead with their studies."​
    "That's nice."​
    Rowlf suspected something else was going on, but he didn't press. Sam was a guarded person and he could get defensive if asked the wrong question. Sure, Rowlf was curious about Sam's family, and why they were never around, but he kept that to himself. It wasn't worth getting him angry and making their friendship awkward.​
    But everyone else's family visited during the holidays; Fozzie's mother, Kermit's parents and siblings, Piggy's nephews, Beauregard's cousin, and so on and on. Sam's family never showed up; he didn't even know if he called them.​
    "Look at this traffic! I hope I don't miss my flight!"​
    "Don't worry, Sam, we still have plenty of time. You'll be fine."​
    "If you say so!"​
    "Are you nervous, Sam?"​
    "You seem nervous, Sam. That's all."​
    "Well…." Sam paused. He was nervous. It had been over a year since he last spent anytime at his house, and that didn't end well. Matilda (she wasn't Matty anymore) wasn't happy that Sam signed another contract to stay with the Muppets, and they had parted on acrimonious terms. They didn't speak for over three months, both waiting to see who would let the other shoe drop and crack first. It was Sam.​
    "Well…I haven't been home in a long time, and it's a little strange."​
    "You'll be fine! Sure, there may be new curtains, and some new furniture, but it's still your house in the end."​
    "Thanks." Sam nervously fidgeted with his phone while Rowlf navigated through the maze of exits and on-ramps that led to the airport.​
    "Man, they make it really hard to find your way there. Sam, you have wings. Couldn't you have just flown to Virginia? Would save you a lot of money and me a lot of hassle."​
    "Very funny."​
    Eventually the ersatz duo made their way to the airport, Rowlf pulling right up to the exclusive "rewards gate" (Piggy had been able to pull some strings for the gang). As Sam pulled his bags out of the trunk, Rowlf made his way around the other side of the car.​
    "Sam, have a good time! Tell the wife and kids I said hi, and that we'd all love to see them! There's always room in our house!"​
    "I'll pass that message on, " he shouted as he passed through the doors, an attendant gesturing him towards the baggage check.​
    I'll pass that on if they are willing to listen, he thought to himself as he awkwardly, anxiously stepped into the airport terminal, his destination awaiting.​
    Coming up in Chapter Two: Sam touches down in Virginia.​
  2. Hubert

    Hubert Well-Known Member

    Love it so far. Just great. The Rowlf and Sam interaction is just perfect. I love them both here, it's all just so spot on. I could never, ever write for Sam that well.

    Very interesting with the whole Sam's family thing. It's intriguing me already. I'm definitely hooked on this fic.

    And Beau's cousin visits during the holidays? Interesting...

    *begins wondering if charlietheowl has any plans for that as a future fanfic, and if not, if he would give permission for a certain Hubert to toy around with the idea*
    GopherCoffee and Muppet fan 123 like this.
  3. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you Hubert! Appreciate your reading, and I hope I can keep you interested.

    As for Beauregard's cousin, he appears in one of the Muppet comic books written by Roger Landridge. I don't think anyone has used him in a story on here yet.
    GopherCoffee and Fragglemuppet like this.
  4. Hubert

    Hubert Well-Known Member

    Interesting...I do have those Family Reunion comic books sitting around somewhere here, I just haven't gotten around to reading them yet.

    But anyway, I've now suddenly begun developing a fic idea involving Beau and his cousin and possibly a few other relatives...you may see that up on the board someday...
    GopherCoffee and Fragglemuppet like this.
  5. MissMusical12

    MissMusical12 Well-Known Member

    Wow. This is really good, so far. And very interesting, too. Where'd you get the name idea for Sam's wife?
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  6. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thanks! I got the name from a book I read junior year in college, Angels and Insects by A.S. Byatt. One of the main characters, a nanny, was named Matty and I thought it was a really cool name.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  7. Hubert

    Hubert Well-Known Member

    I did neglect to mention that I really did love the choice of the name. It just seems like a wonderful choice of a name for Sam's wife. So classy and such. It just seems to fit.
  8. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Heh...never seen the video before. Classic Jim and Frank!

    Other than a couple of grammatical niggles (Sam isn't "broaching" the topic -- Rowlf already did by bringing it up in the first place), this is fun. The whole concept of exploring the personal life of minor characters is my thing anyway (nudge, nudge, say no more!) so this is fab to me.

    I love it that Sam and his wife met at Jefferson's university (and historically, one of the stodgiest in the nation), UVA. The book title they met over is hilarious, too. I can see why Matty would be insulted that any spouse of hers would deign to work with that bunch of weirdos again...especially after the cush job at Faux News...er...why DOES Sam insist on being the troupe censor, anyway??

    Looking forward to more! :news:
  9. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you for picking up on that. Those were the very reasons I chose to set them in Virginia. He was raised and educated in the very cradle of uptight academics and weekend trips to Mount Vernon! A perfect place for an eagle to make his nest.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  10. MissMusical12

    MissMusical12 Well-Known Member

    On a side note, I actually took a family trip to Mount Vernon 7 or 8 years ago.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  11. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Oooooooo! Charlie's writing again! This can only mean good things! :D
  12. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Here we are for chapter two! A note for the future: new chapters will be posted every Monday until completion.

    Charlottesville, Virginia. A great place to raise a family. A college town, filled with rich American history, beautiful suburban neighborhoods, and natural splendor. Nothing at all like Los Angeles, California, filled with smog, questionable women, and overpriced food.​
    This echoed through Sam's head and he drove his way towards his home, winding through side streets, filled with neatly manicured lawns and freshly painted mailboxes. ​
    A sense of anticipation grew as he drove. Sure, he had been nervous before he left, but the closer he got to home, the more his surroundings lured him into flashes of the past. Taking Matty out on a picnic in the fall, sitting in the yard as his twins Andrew and Hillary ran through the sprinkler, walking through the campus of the University of Virginia, waiting for Matty to finish teaching class. Those were the days!​
    Finally, Sam reached the beginning of Waterford Street, which meant he only had to drive around one more bend in the road and he would be home. He eased down the road, passing the familiar sights. There was the Henderson house on the left, with their lilac tree in the front yard. The Murphy house on the right, with their tomato plants on the side of their house. And then the Eagle house, number 27, with their flagpole in the front yard.​
    Sam did a double take as he pulled into the driveway. What had happened to their flagpole! Where once stood a symbol of his love for his country now only stood a broken stump.​
    "What has happened! Where is the flagpole!" Sam jumped out of his car, not even bothering to get his bags out of the back seat. Rushing across his front yard, he found the once neatly manicured flagpole spot now filled with crushed leaves and cigarette butts.​
    "What is going on here? Am I at the right house?"​
    As Sam hastily picked up the cigarette butts off the ground, grimacing all the while, the front door of 27 Waterford Street creaked open, and an eagle walked out.​
    "Well, Sam, I guess you couldn't bother to ring the doorbell first."​
    Sam lifted his head up, being careful not to knock the cigarette butts out of his hand. "Matty! What happened to our flagpole?"​
    "It fell down in a thunderstorm a month ago. It was a huge mess, landed in the road and everything."​
    "Why didn't you put it back up?"​
    "You were the only one that ever used it, and you're not here anyone, so I decided it wasn't worth the money."​
    Sam grimaced. No one was putting the flag up every morning? He had taken great pains to teach the children how. Perhaps more had changed than he thought.​
    "Come on, I'll get your bags."​
    "That won't be necessary, I can get them myself, just let me throw these butts in the trash. Don't tell me you've taken up smoking!"​
    "No, they're not mine. They're Hillary's."​
    Sam jumped up in shock, nearly falling into the garbage can on his way down. "Hillary smokes! Why haven't you stopped her!"​
    "She's twenty-two! I can't punish a twenty-two year old. She has to deal with the consequences of her own actions. Now let's go inside."​
    "I can't believe you let her smoke! Probably stinks up the house, stinks up the furniture, her clothes, everything."​
    "She only smokes outside, Sam. I don't let her smoke indoors."​
    "Thank you."​
    The two had walked into the large colonial-style home and sat down in the living room, filled with light blues and green. Sam sat down on the couch with his bags next to him while Matty took her spot on a chair across the way. ​
    Despite it being over twenty years since Sam first saw Matty, she still looked very similar to before. Brown hair down to her shoulders, a green sun dress. Sam's mind drifted back to their first summer as a married couple, living in a small apartment on campus. Times were filled with picnic lunches and good-natured arguments over the presidency of Martin Van Buren.​
    His reverie came to an end as Matty struck up a conversation.​
    "How was your flight?"​
    "Not too bad."​
    "That's good."​
    "So where's Andrew and Hillary?"​
    "I don't know."​
    "You don't know? How could you not know these things?"​
    Matty crossed her arms. "Sam, they are both twenty-two years old. I don't need to keep track of their movements at all times. They both left early this morning."​
    "Didn't they know I was coming?"​
    "Yes, I told them you were getting in today."​
    "I still cannot believe that Hillary smokes. She probably got the habit from the owl boyfriend of hers."​
    "No, she didn't pick up smoking until after they broke up."​
    "Good, I'm glad she finally came to her senses and disposed of him, that Communist. I hope he moved back up to the northeast!"​
    Matty's voice raised an octave. "Good? Good? Sam, she's been miserable for the past three weeks, since she saw him with that falcon chick. I know you didn't like her dating an owl, but you could at least be sympathetic."​
    Sam said nothing.​
    "Andrew went out to the beach this morning with his friends. I don't think he'll be back until much later."​
    "How's he doing?"​
    "He's having a hard time finding a job. Taxidermy majors aren't exactly in demand."​
    "Why did he choose such an obscure, useless major again?"​
    "He loves it though. You should have seen his senior capstone project- a reproduction of the Kennedy inauguration with-"​
    Sam stuck out his tongue in disgust and nausea. "Please, I don't know if I can take much more."​
    "You never were a fan of his studies."​
    "Well, it's so dirty. He should have studied something worthy, like Hillary, studying education. She is going to enrich the minds of the biggest resource this country has: youth!"​
    Matty awkwardly shifted her position on the chair. "Well…actually, Hillary dropped out of school."​
    "What! She was going to student-teach this school year!"​
    "Yes, but she was too devastated after her break up to attend the pre-assignment classes, so she left the program."​
    Sam exploded. "How? How could she throw such an opportunity away?"​
    "The program administrator said she could reapply for next year and most likely get in again."​
    "But what's she going to do until then? Sit around and smoke out by the flagpole stump? I don't know what's going on here, Matty, but clearly the children are falling apart. "​
    "They are adults and can make their own decisions."​
    "Not if I'm here!" Sam stomped out of his seat and advanced towards the stairs.​
    "Where are you going?"​
    "Upstairs, to throw out all of Hillary's cigarettes. They should be called death sticks! You know I got Bobby Benson to quit smoking, merely by throwing him in a holding cell for a month over child endangerment charges."​
    Matty ran up after him, quickly catching up with him as he futilely jiggled the doorknob to her room.​
    "Sam, she locks her door now."​
    He leaned against the door, momentarily out of breath, huffing, heaving. He was not only physically at a loss right now but mentally. His two children were both shiftless at twenty-two! Neither had jobs, and one dropped out of school while picking up smoking. Everything he had stood for with his children had seemingly fallen to pieces, and it probably was not a coincidence this had happened when he was away.​
    "Well then. I'll just have to talk to her when she gets home. And Andrew too. I've got some things to say to both of them."​
    Coming up in Chapter 3: The children come home, and a proposition is made.
  13. Hubert

    Hubert Well-Known Member

    Love it still. Especially the Bobby Benson line. And the LA line.

    I'm really loving this storyline, and how everything has fallen apart since Sam left.

    More please.
  14. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Poor Sam. I genuinely feel bad for him.
  15. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you guys!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  16. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Ah, those heady nights, burning the candle at both ends over chats about the Van Buren administration...though of course they observed all fire safety regulations.

    LOL loving it! The kids somehow found themselves SO busy the day Daddy came home? What a coinkydink.

    Picturing Matty as a brown-haired, slightly less glowering version of Sam...
  17. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    And now, chapter three.

    Sam and Matty stoically sat in their lavish dining room, eating a dinner of caesar salad while Sam kept glancing out the window.​
    "I can assure you no one pulled into the driveway, Sam."​
    "Thought I heard a car."​
    The two eagles continued their silent dinner until the sound of some sort of obscure techno began wafting through their open window.​
    "Who in the world would be listening such awful music? I've heard garbage disposals that are more melodic than that noise."​
    "I bet that's Andrew. He likes that music."​
    Sam rushed up to the window, and his heart skipped a beat as he saw that a tiny white Honda Accord had pulled into the driveway. He made a mental note to get Andrew a Nelson Eddy album and bolted out of the dining room, leaving his wife and the salad behind. He bounded to the front door to meet whoever had got out of the car.​
    It turned out to be both of his children. Up the stairs came Andrew, who appeared to have spent the entire day at a local beach, as his short brown hair had matted all around his head with water. He was also wearing a truly outlandish pair of jams and was carrying several beach chairs covered in sand and seaweed.​
    Sam cleared his throat. "Hello, Andrew."​
    "Dad!" Andrew flung the chairs behind him and ran up the stairs, spraying sand everywhere. "I'm so happy to see you."​
    He embraced Sam, and a stray peace of seaweed got onto Sam's chest, which was flicked off with contempt and disgust.​
    "Did you even bother drying off?"​
    "Forgot my towel at home! I just shook off before I got in the car. Did I get sand on you? I'm sorry."​
    "How about you go take a shower? You smell like a swamp. But wait- where's Hillary?"​
    "She's out smoking on the deck." Andrew ran into the house, leaving a trail of sand in his wake. Sam stomped around the house to the back deck. Hillary stood there, solemnly puffing on her cigarette.​
    "Hello, Hillary."​
    "How was the beach with Andrew?"​
    "I wouldn't know."​
    "Didn't you go with him?"​
    "I slept in the car the whole time." With that cryptic response, Hillary shuffled off into the back porch, placing her cigarette ashes in the tray first.​
    Sam watched her walk inside, where her mother was waiting. Despite being sad and depressed, she still had flashes of the exciting, engaging child she used to be. Her hair was tied back in a lazy ponytail, but she used to keep it down, waving over her shoulders and shaking every time she laughed. Hopefully she would be laughing again soon.​
    Upon entering the house, Sam found that no conversation was taking place at all, not even one with body language. Matty was shuffling through a magazine while Hillary glanced at her phone. It was as if they were in two different rooms.​
    "Hello, everyone. Hillary, do you want any dinner? We have some leftover salad. It was quite delectable."​
    "No thanks."​
    "Okay, I'll go put the rest in a container then. Must make sure everything stays fresh- I can't stand to see food wasted."​
    "I already took care of that," said Matty without even looking up from her magazine.​
    Sam shuffled his feet and then sat down next to Matty, scraping his brain to try and think of some sort of way to strike up conversation.​
    "So, Hillary, have you looked into those nicotine patches yet?"​
    "You know, those patches that help you quit smoking. I've seen them advertised during Face The Nation and they seem quite effective. I can pick some up for you at the pharmacy tomorrow. They also have gum, but that might cause cavities."​
    "I'm not interested."​
    "But smoking is bad for you."​
    "Maybe some other time."​
    "Do you have any idea what you're putting into your lungs! Filth! Pure filth! I've got half a mind to go into your room and throw out your cigarettes."​
    She tossed a glare Sam's way and then stalked off into the kitchen, leaving Sam alone with Matty, who tossed her magazine down onto the table.​
    "Sam, I understand your concern, but-"​
    "She doesn't know what's best for her!"​
    "Well, she's old enough to figure that out on her own!"​
    "She doesn't appear that she can figure that out on her own yet."​
    Matty shook her head.​
    "Sam, I'm just as concerned about her as you are, but-"​
    "If you were she wouldn't be like this."​
    Matty's eyes locked in on Sam, who was still quite irritated himself.​
    "Look here. I've been the one who has seen these children every day for the past 22 years. You've only been here when you wanted to. If there's anyone who has the right to tell the other that they are not concerned with their children, it's me. Not you."​
    "Are you saying this is MY fault?"​
    "If you want to cast blame, be my guest, but take a look in the mirror first."​
    "You can say what you want now, but wait until the end of my trip."​
    "Wait for what?"​
    Sam stalked out of the room, not wanting to admit to Matty that he wasn't sure what she would be waiting for. Deep down Sam knew that something could be done here, that he could figure out some way to get Hillary to quit smoking and get over her breakup, and to help Andrew get on the right track to finding a job and to being less goofy. What that something was not clear to Sam, and it was a source of angst to him at the moment.​
    Matty followed Sam into the kitchen, where they found Andrew sitting on the counter devouring a bowl of cereal and Hillary eating the leftover salad.​
    "I hope you remembered to fill the container with hot soapy water after you took the salad out. We can't have caked on stains! They ruin the containers! And Andrew, get off the counter! We have a table and chairs for the purpose of eating."​
    Hillary and kept eating without uttering a word, while Andrew slid off the counter. Sam's frustration began to boil over. He was steamed at Matty for arguing with him, and steamed at himself for not being able to reach Hillary or think of any ways to help out her situation. In his frustration, he blurted out the first thing that popped into his head.​
    "I want you two to come back to Los Angeles with me when I leave. It's obvious that Virginia is doing you little good right now."​
    A deafening silence fell over the room, as Sam realized what he said and the words sunk in.​
    Coming up in Chapter 4: Bags are packed and Sam makes a phone call.​
  18. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member


    I love it that Sam is trying to "help" by listing stop-smoking aid commercials. What a guy.

    This is interesting, a bit more drama than I'd expected. Is this story going off on a serious bent? Or is it just seriously bent? Tune in next week!

  19. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thanks! The story's going to lighten up a bit once the locale shifts back to Los Angeles and the Muppet theater. I needed to make the beginning a bit more serious so that I can set up the rest of the story.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  20. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    This is intriguing, now that I know what sketch it is you're basing the story on.

    Andrew and Hillary, named after the president everyone thinks of the cat instead and the current Secretary of State.
    This is a good fic idea, I have a few ponderings stemming from it as well. Mainly, is Andrew a classmate of Dr. Van Neuter's from Stuffs University? Guess not since here you present Sam's son as younger than the taxidermist from Muppets Tonight. Also, I kind of picture Sam's daughter, the one dating the owl, as Hayley "Dreamsmasher" Eagle.
    :attitude: Yes, that's why her middle name is "Dreamsmasher", she smashed my dreams of her dating a respectable young male eagle like Stephen Colbert Jr.

    Looking forward to future updates.
    GopherCoffee and charlietheowl like this.

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