For those of you who don't know who Mel Welles is, he is an actor who's appeared in countless films, usually between the 1940's-1960's. He was in many of Roger Corman's sci-fi B-movies, most notably "The Little Shop of Horrors" where he created the role of Gravis Mushnik, and "The Undead", in which he played Smolkin, a rather jolly gravedigger. In addition to these roles he has also written for numerous performers, directed ("Lady Frankenstein"), has a PhD in clinical psychology, and speaks five different languages, among other achievements. I've had the pleasure of meeting and being taught by Mel Welles. When I first met him I was unsure I could write anything worth anything after being shot down by a certain college prof. after years of always pulling off good term papers, and now...well...look how many TMS outlines I have up here! For more info on Mel, go to his website, http://melwelles.com and sign his message board. He DOES write back! OPENING THEME OPENING NUMBER: No one is safe when Behemoth and Gorgon Heap are on the loose, as illustrated in this number originally from Sesame Street, "Me Going TO Munch You, Munch You, Munch You". Statler: "What did you think of that...monsters running around, eating everything in sight..." Waldorf: "Sounds like what happens when Astoria's friends come over to play bridge!" BACKSTAGE: Mel Welles chats with Kermit. He said he's seen all sorts of weird things in his career, but apparently he wasn't prepared for Gonzo's mildew collection (who he has to share a dressing room with). GUEST STAR: Mel plays Hy Epstein, a businessman in New York's garment district, who laments about his business woes with the old men from the Kenny Rogers episode. Mel: "Oy, what a rotten July I had...I barely moved a suit!" Old Man #1: "Stop yer whining! My wife left me and my daughter is a miserable degenerate! What's worse than THAT?!" Mel: "August." BACKSTAGE: Gonzo tries to get advice about plant care from Mel Welles, since he saw "The Little Shop of Horrors" 600 times. SONG: The Electric Mayhem play and sing "Rubber Biscuit", Floyd on lead vocals (in his Mr. Bassman voice) MUPPET NEWSFLASH: The Newsman interviews Carlo Stromboli (Mel), an Italian chef/ladies' man who offers a few pickup lines with food references. SKIT: "Veterinarian's Hospital"...Dr. Bob, Nurse Piggy, and Nurse Janice operate on Crazy Harry. UK SPOT: Four Whatnot violinists sing the lost Gershwin song "Mischa-Sasha-Yascha-Toscha". TALK SPOT: Kermit and Mel discuss longevity in show business, interrupted by a rather depressed George the Janitor. SKIT: In a panel discussion, Kermit moderates as the panel discusses raising plants. With him are Gravis Mushnik (Mel), Mokey Fraggle (w/Lanford), and Floyd Pepper (in his normal voice), since he knows something about illegal plant life. By discussion's end, Mushnik wants to buy Lanford to spruce up his shop, however when the plant attacks Floyd he takes back the offer, citing a bad flashback. Floyd, however, wants to discuss the side effects (or lack thereof) of the plants HE grows, to which he claims there are none, but then his voice changes and he wants to count other things...Von, two,three, four... BACKSTAGE: Gonzo decides to give up growing mildew and take up growing deathworts (i.e. Lanford). Floyd: "Oh NO..." CLOSING NUMBER: Mel (as Smolkin, the gravedigger from "The Undead"), Uncle Deadly, and the monsters sing a rather morbid (but funny) medley of song parodies. GOODNIGHTS: Mel, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Floyd, Gonzo, Uncle Deadly, Gloat, Mokey, and Lanford in front of the curtain Waldorf: "Well, they did it again." Statler: "Did what again?" Waldorf: "I dunno, I wasn't watching."