(NOTE: This will be my last outline for a couple of weeks. I'm taking a brief hiatus from actively posting due to personal reasons.) SPECIAL GUEST: DAVID BOWIE OPENING THEME OPENING NUMBER: Kermit introduces the opening number after being accosted by Sam about having some culture on the show since "that weirdo" David Bowie is the guest star. Kermit promises a rendition of Aaron Copland's "Hoedown" (which, of course, is played by the Electric Mayhem). BACKSTAGE: Sam chastises the Mayhem for butchering Copland. Floyd insists they made it better. Miss Piggy, in the meantime, puts her crush on Kermit on hold in order to seduce David Bowie. She shows up (with her hair dyed black) and asks that the goblins take her nephews (Andy and Randy Pig) away from her. This prompts David Bowie to show up (in Jareth costume), but he doesn't take them away, rather he asks Piggy how her relatives got to be so dumb. Piggy is dumbfounded. GUEST STAR: David Bowie (in Jareth outfit) sings "Magic Dance" with the Muppet monsters. Statler: "I've been to the goblin kingdom lots of times!" Waldorf: "Really? Where's that?" Statler: "At any gathering of my in-laws!" Both: "DOHHHH, ho ho ho..." BACKSTAGE: Janice is in on the action now, trying to seduce David. She gets Hilda to make her an outfit just like Iman's (David's supermodel wife). David laughs and compliments Janice, but says that it wasn't meant to be. Floyd then shows up and adds "Darn straight!" SKIT: "Veterinarian's Hospital"...Dr. Bob has a new cute furry blue orderly, Grover. He helps (or rather hinders) Dr. Bob, Nurse Piggy, and Nurse Janice as they operate on Fat Blue. Grover's first lesson at the hospital: in case of extremely horrible script, do the Mexican Waiter Dance and dump salsa on Fat Blue. Fat Blue: "I can't believe this. Why does he ALWAYS seem to find me?!" UK SPOT: Gonzo leads the Muppets in a rousing chorus of "The Lumberjack Song". Statler: "I remember seeing a whole show devoted to cross-dressers!" Waldorf: "What did you think?" Statler: "After a few minutes it really started to DRAG!" TALK SPOT: Kermit talks to David about the many looks and styles he's done over his career. David uses this to segue into a performance of "Changes" with the Electric Mayhem (Zoot sax solo). SONG: Robin sings "Bring Back The Wonder". SKIT: Sam tries to bring more culture back into the show by saying that the legendary opera singer Placido Flamingo would sing an aria from Verdi's "La Traviata". However, Scooter runs onstage and tells Sam that Placido Flamingo can't make it because he posed in front of a trailer for a picture and the owners wanted him to stick around. Scooter does say there is an adequate replacement--Beaker. Statler: "Just leave it to Beaker to make opera even more incomprehensible." Waldorf: "Could be worse...it could've been the Swedish Chef!" (At that, the Chef pops up and clonks Waldorf over the head with a frying pan.) BACKSTAGE: Piggy and Janice fight over who'll join Bowie in the closing number. Kermit suggests they both do it. CLOSING NUMBER: David Bowie sings and plays "Modern Love" with both Miss Piggy and Janice. The rest of the Mayhem is in the background. CLOSING THEME Waldorf: "I never did like glam rock!" Statler: "That's because you were born on a slab of igneous rock!"