Another TMS Outline

[TravellingMatt]

SPECIAL GUEST STAR: DICK VAN DYKE

COLD OPENING:

Scooter: "Dick Van Dyke, 15 seconds to curtain, Mr. Van Dyke!"

Dick: (getting dressed) "Thanks, Scooter. You guys really know how to make me feel at home, but there is one thing. Kermit and I never discussed my appearance fee."

Scooter: "Well..."

(Dick goes over to a closet. He opens it and an avalanche of peanuts falls out.)

Dick: "What the..."

Scooter: "That's what I was trying to tell you. You'll be working for peanuts!"

OPENING THEME

OPENING NUMBER: The Electric Mayhem play "Hotel Detective".

Statler: "I once had a hotel detective come into my room while I was gone."

Waldorf: "How did you know it was a hotel detective?"

Statler: "There was a magnifying glass on my pillow."

BACKSTAGE: Gonzo in particular is excited that Dick Van Dyke is the guest star, and he booby-traps the entire backstage area with ottomans in hopes that he'll see Dick trip over one. Dick doesn't, but plenty of the other Muppets do.

GUEST STAR: Dick Van Dyke sings "Jolly Holiday" with Miss Piggy and a group of Muppet animals.

SKIT: "Muppet Newsflash"...the Newsman, after announcing that the Muppet Theatre is booby trapped with ottomans, trips over one. Then another one falls on him.

BACKSTAGE: Kermit wants to get rid of all the ottomans, but Dick finally obliges and trips over one to make everyone laugh. However, he injures himself, and I think we know what happens next...

VETERINARIAN'S HOSPITAL: Dick Van Dyke is the patient.

Rowlf: "Say, I know you! You're on 'Diagnosis: Murder'!"

Dick: "Yeah, and I should have you arrested!"

Rowlf: "Why?"

Dick: "Anyone who tells jokes like this is committing a crime against humanity!"

Piggy: "I've been trying to tell him that for years."

SKIT: Sam the Eagle lectures on diversity, with the help of Boober Fraggle. However, as the skit progresses, Sam's xenophobia is what comes through.

Sam: (with his RIGHT WING around Boober's shoulders) "One does not have to be in America to know that our culture knows no bounds. Why, even if one goes to another country, amidst the...um...local culture, they can find someone who is as American as baseball and apple pie. Take this young man, who I met in a cave in Afghanistan..."

Boober: "Fraggle Rock."

Sam: "Whatever. He has proven to me that despite his local culture, he can still be as American as apple pie."

Boober: "Apple pie? Come over to my place sometime, I use radishes."

Sam: "Radish pie? That is WEIRD. Anyway, as I was saying, this youngster is as American as baseball..."

Boober: "Baseball? What's that?"

Sam: "You don't know what BASEBALL is?! Get off my stage, you radical!"

UK SPOT: Miss Piggy and Kermit sing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" with the Mayhem dressed as an early-20th century English music hall band in the background. Don Music is also there on tambourine, he alternates between shaking it and banging it against his head.

BACKSTAGE: Kermit asks if Gonzo's cleared all the ottomans out of the backstage area. Gonzo says he's only missing one...then he trips over it.

SKIT: "Pigs In Space"--Dr. Strangepork invents a ray that makes Miss Piggy turn invisible. Of course, Link (in all his stupidity) forgets that Piggy is still there, and makes smart cracks about her because he thinks she isn't...then he gets karate chopped (but doesn't see it coming).

Waldorf: "Hey Statler, have you always wished you could make yourself invisible?"

Statler: "Only when the show starts!"

SKIT: "Fozzie's Monologue"--Fozzie decides to sing a song instead of telling jokes, in order to avoid Statler and Waldorf's insults. He begins to sing "I Love To Laugh", then Dick Van Dyke joins him on stage and they finish the song together.

Waldorf: "Hey, we love to laugh too!"

Statler: "So why do we keep coming HERE each week?"

CLOSING NUMBER: Dick Van Dyke and the giant Monsters perform the rousing song-and-dance number "Step In Time". However, during the dance, Gonzo pushes ottomans out on stage, making all but Dick trip over them.

CLOSING THEME

Statler: "Well, what did you think of this week's show?" (then he trips and falls over an ottoman)

Waldorf: "It was a real TRIP!"

(Thanks to Skeeter Muppet again, for her input on this one!)

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

Reply

That was great. I especially liked Statler and Waldorf's comments and the skit with Miss Piggy becoming invisible.

 

[Skeeter Muppet]

*grins* Another great job, Matt. Glad I could be of help!


-Kim

 

[Dil]

I could tell would be in the closing number:

Fletcher Bird
Timmy Monster
Sweetums
Doglion
Mutation
Big Mama
Thog
& even Thig

 

[MartyMuppets]

I loved the cold opening joke working for peanuts lol salted or plain

 

[Ruahnna]

Hey there Matt--stop hiding your stuff over here! Put it in the fan-fic section so we can find it!

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Hey there Matt--stop hiding your stuff over here! Put it in the fan-fic section so we can find it!

If you look at the original post date, you can see it's been over 3 years since he posted it. That was before we had a Fan Fiction forum.

I made him a link list, like the one I've got linked in my signature, for him to post so that people could find all of his stuff. He never posted it, though, and eventually I did it myself and no one noticed. Here's the hyperlinked list again:


1) Harry Connick Jr., 7/31/02

2) Elvis Costello, 7/31/02

3) They Might Be Giants, 8/1/02

4) Alan Jackson, 8/1/02

5) Rockapella, 8/7/02

6) Sheryl Crow, 8/7/02

7) Aaron Tippin, 8/15/02

8) R.E.M. , 8/21/02

9) The Rock, 8/26/02

10) Nathan Lane, 9/8/02

11) Willie Nelson, 9/12/02

12) Tim Curry, 9/15/02

13) Madonna, 9/17/02

14) Matthew Broderick, 9/17/02

15) Mel Brooks, 9/18/02

16) Bob McGrath, 9/23/02

17) Lee Greenwood, 9/30/02

18) Al Martino, 10/04/02

19) Carole King, 10/07/02

20) Bette Midler, 10/08/02

21) Toby Keith, 10/09/02

22) Rex Harrison, 10/11/02 (Written in collaboration with David ‘Gorgon Heap’ Ebersole)

23) Carly Simon, 10/14/02

24) Dick Van Dyke, 10/15/02

25) Betty Buckley, 10/19/02

26) Jimmy Buffet, 10/20/02

27) Topol, 10/28/02

28) Lenny Kravitz, 11/2/02

29) Jeremy Irons, 11/15/02

30) Sting, 12/11/02

31) John Michael Montgomery, 12/14/02

32) Diana Krall, 12/16/02

33) Dr. John, 12/17/02

34) Billy Idol, 12/18/02

35) Paul McCartney, 12/18/02

36) WWE Superstars (Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, Vince McMahon, and the Dudley Boyz), 12/21/02

37) Shirley Jones, 12/22/02

38) Johnny Mathis, 12/24/02

39) David Bowie, 12/27/02

40) Rod Stewart, 1/3/03

41) Bill Murray, 1/7/03

42) Donald O’Connor, 1/8/03

43) Jeffrey Denman, 3/29/03

44) Tom Waits, 5/13/03

45) James Taylor, 10/18/03

46) Lily Tomlin, 12/30/03

47) Mel Welles, 12/30/03


David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[minor muppetz]

that was good.

 

[Ruahnna]

If you look at the original post date, you can see it's been over 3 years since he posted it. That was before we had a Fan Fiction forum. I made him a link list, like the one I've got linked in my signature, for him to post so that people could find all of his stuff. He never posted it, though, and eventually I did it myself and no one noticed. Here's the hyperlinked list againavid "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

Ooh--thank you, David--how very nice of you! No, I hadn't noticed the post date (I'm bad to look up at the join date instead, or not at all), but I'm so glad to have access to these. Thanks for making these available to all of us who are new(er)!