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Sam and Friends BookHere is my new Beat the Time fan-fic, which features a non-SS/Henson character. Enjoy!
(The scene takes place in a game-show studio with gold glittering curtains as the time-clocking music plays off-screen.)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for another exciting episode of everybody's favorite wacky stunt-show, (very loud) "BEAT THE TIME!" (cuckoo noise is heard as the audience cheers very loud and the Beat the Time logo flashes on the screen)
(Drum roll as the logo fades away)
ANNOUNCER: And now, here is the host of all "Beat the Time" stunt-shows, GUY SMILEY!
(Game-show music plays. Audience cheers very loud again as Guy Smiley tries to walk through the golden glittering curtains with a big grunt. Finally, he enters the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! And welcome again to Beat the Time, our very popular and classic game-show where contestants have to perform their wacky stunts! (as the game-show music fades away) And this is show number 18,463, studio audience. And now, let's meet today's contestant, all the way from Sesame Street, Ms. Rosita Monster!
(Audience cheers as Rosita enters the studio with a brief "Muchas glacias!")
ROSITA: Hi Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Hello, Rosita! Welcome to Beat the Time. And are you ready for that great, awesome wacky stunt?
ROSITA: I'm ready, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: OK! And if you win our game, you will win one of our three prizes right behind that curtain there (points at the curtains where three different prizes are hidden and right behind them), but I can't announce them until you win our game, you understand, Rosita?
ROSITA: Oh. OK, yes, but it sounds like it's going to be a great game for me to play, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Oh, yes! It sure will be, and in order to win one of our three prizes back there, you will have to find six things that begin with the letter J!
ROSITA: Six things that begin with the letter J.
GUY SMILEY: You got it! But you have to do it for one minute before the arrow on the clock reaches the buzzer! Are you ready, Rosita?
ROSITA: Yes I am, Guy!
(Drum roll)
GUY SMILEY: OK! On your mark...get set...GO!
(Time-clocking music from Beat the Time with Elmo plays as Rosita runs out of the studio through the gold glittering curtains.)
GUY SMILEY: Will she do it? Rosita has a minute to find six things, yes, six things that begin with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio, carrying a jump rope)
ROSITA: I got a jump rope, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful, Rosita! Jump rope does start with the letter J! (as Rosita runs out of the studio again) It helps you to jump, which also starts with the letter J. Now, you must find five more!
(A Hot-Pink Anything Muppet girl and a Small Orange Anything Muppet boy enter the studio.)
SMALL ORANGE BOY: Hey, hey, that bluish-green female monster just took our jump rope!
HOT-PINK GIRL: We need it to play jump rope!
GUY SMILEY: I'm sorry but I'm afraid you two are going to have to...
SMALL ORANGE: Hey, are you Guy Smiley?
GUY SMILEY: Yes I am!
HOT-PINK GIRL: You're the host of Beat the Time?
GUY SMILEY: Yes and I was saying you two are going to have to get off the stage (pushing two AM kids off the stage) because Rosita has 54 seconds left to find five more things beginning with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying some jewerly)
ROSITA: I got jewerly, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Yes! Wonderful! That's two things beginning with the letter J! (as Rosita runs out of the studio again) Now you have to find four more!
(a Green Anything Muppet woman, from the Telephone Rock and Women Can Be song segments and Sesame Street News Flash: Snowstorm sketch enters, angrily)
GREEN WOMAN: Hold on there! That turquoise monster just took my jewerly! I don't want my jewerly to be stolen!
GUY SMILEY: Listen, lady, we're doing a television show here so you must...
GREEN WOMAN: Wait a second! You must be America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley!
GUY SMILEY: Yes, that's my name!
GREEN WOMAN: Can I have your autograph? I'd like to be on next week's show!
GUY SMILEY: (while pushing green woman off the stage) Not at this moment and I was saying that you must get off the stage and Rosita has 43 seconds left to find four more things that begin with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying a jar of jellybeans!)
ROSITA: I got a jar, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Wonderful! Jar begins with the letter J and what I see what's inside it are...JELLYBEANS! YES! (audience cheers loudly) That's four things beginning with the letter J!
ROSITA: Now I go find two more! (running out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: You bet! Now Rosita has 39 seconds left to find two more things beginning with the letter J! Can she do it on time?
(a Purple Anything Muppet boy enters, angrily)
PURPLE BOY: Hey! What's going on here? Some turquoise girl monster just took my jar of jellybeans! I need to eat 'em as for a snack!
GUY SMILEY: Well, too bad! You need to get off the stage, so get lost!
PURPLE BOY: Don't be rude to me! (notices that Guy Smiley is here) Say! You're Guy Smiley!
GUY SMILEY: Yes but you really have to get off the stage immediately (pushing the purple AM boy off the stage) because Rosita now has 31 seconds left to find two more things beginning with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying a glass of apple juice.)
ROSITA: I got a glass of juice, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good job, Rosita! Although glass starts with the letter G but inside it is juice, which begins with J!
ROSITA: Now I must go to find one more thing, Guy! (running out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: One more thing beginning with J. Keep going before the clock reaches the buzzer!
(a Small Purple Anything Muppet boy enters the studio)
SMALL PURPLE BOY: Hey! I'm thirsty! Some turquoise monster took my glass of apple juice!
GUY SMILEY: Well, there you go, kid, but you have to get off the stage immediately!
SMALL PURPLE BOY: Say, you must be Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host!
GUY SMILEY: Yes!
SMALL PURPLE BOY: You host Beat the Time?
GUY SMILEY: Yes, I host this show for over 45 years so get outta here (pushing the small purple AM boy off the stage) because Rosita has 24 seconds left to...
(as Guy speaks, Rosita re-enters the studio, carrying nothing)
ROSITA: Guy! I can't find one more thing!
GUY SMILEY: Well, you must keep going! Think of one more thing beginning with J as you keep...
ROSITA: Wait a minute! I've got it! I'll be right back. (runs out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: Well, keep trying! (to the viewer) Rosita now has 18 seconds left to find one more thing beginning with the letter J! Can she do it on time?
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying an angry Jigglypuff (in animated form) from the Pokemon TV series!)
JIGGLYPUFF: Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff!
ROSITA: I finally got one more thing beginning with J, Guy!
(Buzzer sound)
GUY SMILEY: Oh, I'm sorry, Rosita! That's a Pokemon and Pokemon does not start with the letter J!
ROSITA: Oh, dear...
GUY SMILEY: Too bad, Rosita! Now that time is almost running up, you won't be winning one of our three hidden prizes...
ROSITA: Wait a minute, Guy! All Pokemon have different names!
GUY SMILEY: You think so?
ROSITA: Yes and they communicate with their names themselves and look at this one, Guy! (shows Guy Jigglypuff)
JIGGLYPUFF: Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Puff, puff, puff!
ROSITA: See? That's Jigglypuff and Jigglypuff does start with a J.
GUY SMILEY: Oh...oh....OH! Yes now I understand what you are saying, although I never got envolved with Pokemon before, but YES! Jigglypuff starts with a J so that means you get to pick one of our three hidden prizes!
ROSITA: (very enthusiastic) Really, Guy?
GUY SMILEY: YES!
ROSITA: Oh, boy!
GUY SMILEY: Now are you ready to pick one of our three prizes since you win our game?
ROSITA: Yes I am, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: OK! Get ready because they are right there, which you will be choosing right now!
(Curtains reveal a flat-screen television, airplane tickets to Hawaii and a new chair)
GUY SMILEY: Yes! You get to win a flat-screen television, a trip to Hawaii or a new chair, but you must pick one of them. What will you get, Rosita? A flat-screen television? A trip to Hawaii? Or a new chair? (long pause. Rosita thinks hard to find out what to pick as her prize for a few seconds. Finally, she gets to pick one choice...)
ROSITA: I'll just take a trip to Hawaii.
GUY SMILEY: YOU GOT IT! THAT'S AN EXCELLENT CHOICE! YOU DESERVE IT!
(Audience cheers very loud)
ROSITA: Oh, boy! I can't wait to tell my family and my friends that I'm going to Hawaii all by myself as a trip! Thank you so much, Guy! (walks off)
GUY SMILEY: You're welcome, Rosita!
(as the audience cheers and Jigglypuff bounces up and down, a Large Lavender Live-Hand Anything Muppet woman and an Orange-Gold Live-Hand Anything Muppet man who looks a bit like Guy Smiley, but with angry eyes, beard and moustache enter and show up)
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: Hold it right there, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Mom! Dad! What are you two doing here?
GUY SMILEY'S FATHER: We saw what you did that was wrong to your contestants on TV!
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: You made them take other people's items away from them!
GUY SMILEY'S FATHER: We are very disappointed in you!
GUY SMILEY: But Mom and Dad, it's only a game!
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: We don't care that this is only a game. You're in big trouble, mister! Come with me.
(as game-show music plays)
GUY SMILEY: But, mother....
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: No 'buts', young man! For now on, you will not be hosting your game-shows for the rest of the year!
GUY SMILEY'S FATHER: And you are banned for making your contestants steal other people's items! Let's go!
(Guy Smiley's parents are taking Guy out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: But Mom! Dad! I want to keep writing and producing more episodes for Beat the Time! It's my popular show in the world! You gotta believe me...
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned early next year for another episode of "Beat the Time!" Coming up next on WCTW is "Squeal of Fortune", followed by "School In the Afternoon."
(as the Beat the Time logo flashes on the screen, Jigglypuff keeps bouncing up and down)
JIGGLYPUFF: Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggy! Jiggy! Jiggy!
End of sketch
(The scene takes place in a game-show studio with gold glittering curtains as the time-clocking music plays off-screen.)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for another exciting episode of everybody's favorite wacky stunt-show, (very loud) "BEAT THE TIME!" (cuckoo noise is heard as the audience cheers very loud and the Beat the Time logo flashes on the screen)
(Drum roll as the logo fades away)
ANNOUNCER: And now, here is the host of all "Beat the Time" stunt-shows, GUY SMILEY!
(Game-show music plays. Audience cheers very loud again as Guy Smiley tries to walk through the golden glittering curtains with a big grunt. Finally, he enters the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! And welcome again to Beat the Time, our very popular and classic game-show where contestants have to perform their wacky stunts! (as the game-show music fades away) And this is show number 18,463, studio audience. And now, let's meet today's contestant, all the way from Sesame Street, Ms. Rosita Monster!
(Audience cheers as Rosita enters the studio with a brief "Muchas glacias!")
ROSITA: Hi Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Hello, Rosita! Welcome to Beat the Time. And are you ready for that great, awesome wacky stunt?
ROSITA: I'm ready, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: OK! And if you win our game, you will win one of our three prizes right behind that curtain there (points at the curtains where three different prizes are hidden and right behind them), but I can't announce them until you win our game, you understand, Rosita?
ROSITA: Oh. OK, yes, but it sounds like it's going to be a great game for me to play, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Oh, yes! It sure will be, and in order to win one of our three prizes back there, you will have to find six things that begin with the letter J!
ROSITA: Six things that begin with the letter J.
GUY SMILEY: You got it! But you have to do it for one minute before the arrow on the clock reaches the buzzer! Are you ready, Rosita?
ROSITA: Yes I am, Guy!
(Drum roll)
GUY SMILEY: OK! On your mark...get set...GO!
(Time-clocking music from Beat the Time with Elmo plays as Rosita runs out of the studio through the gold glittering curtains.)
GUY SMILEY: Will she do it? Rosita has a minute to find six things, yes, six things that begin with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio, carrying a jump rope)
ROSITA: I got a jump rope, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful, Rosita! Jump rope does start with the letter J! (as Rosita runs out of the studio again) It helps you to jump, which also starts with the letter J. Now, you must find five more!
(A Hot-Pink Anything Muppet girl and a Small Orange Anything Muppet boy enter the studio.)
SMALL ORANGE BOY: Hey, hey, that bluish-green female monster just took our jump rope!
HOT-PINK GIRL: We need it to play jump rope!
GUY SMILEY: I'm sorry but I'm afraid you two are going to have to...
SMALL ORANGE: Hey, are you Guy Smiley?
GUY SMILEY: Yes I am!
HOT-PINK GIRL: You're the host of Beat the Time?
GUY SMILEY: Yes and I was saying you two are going to have to get off the stage (pushing two AM kids off the stage) because Rosita has 54 seconds left to find five more things beginning with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying some jewerly)
ROSITA: I got jewerly, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Yes! Wonderful! That's two things beginning with the letter J! (as Rosita runs out of the studio again) Now you have to find four more!
(a Green Anything Muppet woman, from the Telephone Rock and Women Can Be song segments and Sesame Street News Flash: Snowstorm sketch enters, angrily)
GREEN WOMAN: Hold on there! That turquoise monster just took my jewerly! I don't want my jewerly to be stolen!
GUY SMILEY: Listen, lady, we're doing a television show here so you must...
GREEN WOMAN: Wait a second! You must be America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley!
GUY SMILEY: Yes, that's my name!
GREEN WOMAN: Can I have your autograph? I'd like to be on next week's show!
GUY SMILEY: (while pushing green woman off the stage) Not at this moment and I was saying that you must get off the stage and Rosita has 43 seconds left to find four more things that begin with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying a jar of jellybeans!)
ROSITA: I got a jar, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Wonderful! Jar begins with the letter J and what I see what's inside it are...JELLYBEANS! YES! (audience cheers loudly) That's four things beginning with the letter J!
ROSITA: Now I go find two more! (running out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: You bet! Now Rosita has 39 seconds left to find two more things beginning with the letter J! Can she do it on time?
(a Purple Anything Muppet boy enters, angrily)
PURPLE BOY: Hey! What's going on here? Some turquoise girl monster just took my jar of jellybeans! I need to eat 'em as for a snack!
GUY SMILEY: Well, too bad! You need to get off the stage, so get lost!
PURPLE BOY: Don't be rude to me! (notices that Guy Smiley is here) Say! You're Guy Smiley!
GUY SMILEY: Yes but you really have to get off the stage immediately (pushing the purple AM boy off the stage) because Rosita now has 31 seconds left to find two more things beginning with the letter J!
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying a glass of apple juice.)
ROSITA: I got a glass of juice, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good job, Rosita! Although glass starts with the letter G but inside it is juice, which begins with J!
ROSITA: Now I must go to find one more thing, Guy! (running out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: One more thing beginning with J. Keep going before the clock reaches the buzzer!
(a Small Purple Anything Muppet boy enters the studio)
SMALL PURPLE BOY: Hey! I'm thirsty! Some turquoise monster took my glass of apple juice!
GUY SMILEY: Well, there you go, kid, but you have to get off the stage immediately!
SMALL PURPLE BOY: Say, you must be Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host!
GUY SMILEY: Yes!
SMALL PURPLE BOY: You host Beat the Time?
GUY SMILEY: Yes, I host this show for over 45 years so get outta here (pushing the small purple AM boy off the stage) because Rosita has 24 seconds left to...
(as Guy speaks, Rosita re-enters the studio, carrying nothing)
ROSITA: Guy! I can't find one more thing!
GUY SMILEY: Well, you must keep going! Think of one more thing beginning with J as you keep...
ROSITA: Wait a minute! I've got it! I'll be right back. (runs out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: Well, keep trying! (to the viewer) Rosita now has 18 seconds left to find one more thing beginning with the letter J! Can she do it on time?
(Rosita re-enters the studio again, carrying an angry Jigglypuff (in animated form) from the Pokemon TV series!)
JIGGLYPUFF: Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff!
ROSITA: I finally got one more thing beginning with J, Guy!
(Buzzer sound)
GUY SMILEY: Oh, I'm sorry, Rosita! That's a Pokemon and Pokemon does not start with the letter J!
ROSITA: Oh, dear...
GUY SMILEY: Too bad, Rosita! Now that time is almost running up, you won't be winning one of our three hidden prizes...
ROSITA: Wait a minute, Guy! All Pokemon have different names!
GUY SMILEY: You think so?
ROSITA: Yes and they communicate with their names themselves and look at this one, Guy! (shows Guy Jigglypuff)
JIGGLYPUFF: Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Puff, puff, puff!
ROSITA: See? That's Jigglypuff and Jigglypuff does start with a J.
GUY SMILEY: Oh...oh....OH! Yes now I understand what you are saying, although I never got envolved with Pokemon before, but YES! Jigglypuff starts with a J so that means you get to pick one of our three hidden prizes!
ROSITA: (very enthusiastic) Really, Guy?
GUY SMILEY: YES!
ROSITA: Oh, boy!
GUY SMILEY: Now are you ready to pick one of our three prizes since you win our game?
ROSITA: Yes I am, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: OK! Get ready because they are right there, which you will be choosing right now!
(Curtains reveal a flat-screen television, airplane tickets to Hawaii and a new chair)
GUY SMILEY: Yes! You get to win a flat-screen television, a trip to Hawaii or a new chair, but you must pick one of them. What will you get, Rosita? A flat-screen television? A trip to Hawaii? Or a new chair? (long pause. Rosita thinks hard to find out what to pick as her prize for a few seconds. Finally, she gets to pick one choice...)
ROSITA: I'll just take a trip to Hawaii.
GUY SMILEY: YOU GOT IT! THAT'S AN EXCELLENT CHOICE! YOU DESERVE IT!
(Audience cheers very loud)
ROSITA: Oh, boy! I can't wait to tell my family and my friends that I'm going to Hawaii all by myself as a trip! Thank you so much, Guy! (walks off)
GUY SMILEY: You're welcome, Rosita!
(as the audience cheers and Jigglypuff bounces up and down, a Large Lavender Live-Hand Anything Muppet woman and an Orange-Gold Live-Hand Anything Muppet man who looks a bit like Guy Smiley, but with angry eyes, beard and moustache enter and show up)
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: Hold it right there, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Mom! Dad! What are you two doing here?
GUY SMILEY'S FATHER: We saw what you did that was wrong to your contestants on TV!
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: You made them take other people's items away from them!
GUY SMILEY'S FATHER: We are very disappointed in you!
GUY SMILEY: But Mom and Dad, it's only a game!
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: We don't care that this is only a game. You're in big trouble, mister! Come with me.
(as game-show music plays)
GUY SMILEY: But, mother....
GUY SMILEY'S MOTHER: No 'buts', young man! For now on, you will not be hosting your game-shows for the rest of the year!
GUY SMILEY'S FATHER: And you are banned for making your contestants steal other people's items! Let's go!
(Guy Smiley's parents are taking Guy out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: But Mom! Dad! I want to keep writing and producing more episodes for Beat the Time! It's my popular show in the world! You gotta believe me...
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned early next year for another episode of "Beat the Time!" Coming up next on WCTW is "Squeal of Fortune", followed by "School In the Afternoon."
(as the Beat the Time logo flashes on the screen, Jigglypuff keeps bouncing up and down)
JIGGLYPUFF: Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggypuff! Jiggy! Jiggy! Jiggy!
End of sketch
