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Sam and Friends Book(The yellow Beat the Time logo flashes on the red background screen as time-clocking music from the original Beat the Time with Cookie Monster plays.)
ANNOUNCER: And now, TV lovers, it's time for another exciting game of your favorite and timeless wacky stunt show, "BEAT...THE...TIME!" (cuckoo noise)
(Audience cheers)
(Drum roll as the red background screen fades to the game-show set, similar to the one with Elmo.)
ANNOUNCER: And here is your all-star host of this show, Guy Smiley!
(Audience cheers again. Game-show music plays as Guy Smiley enters the studio through the curtains with a brief struggle and a big grunt.)
GUY SMILEY: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes, hello there, ladies and gentlemen! This is your all-star host, Guy Smiley. And welcome to Beat the Time episode 18,610! (as the game-show music fades away) And you all know about Beat the Time. It's our well-known game-show where contestants do their wacky stunts. So now, here is today's contestant, Mr. Rowlf the Dog of The Muppet Show! Come on out!
(audience cheers as Rowlf enters the studio.)
ROWLF: Thank you! Thank you! (To Guy) Hey there, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Hello there, Rowlf! We've got something exciting for you on this show.
ROWLF: Yeah? What is it? Tell me! I'm beggin' ya! I'm a dog!
GUY SMILEY: I know you are a dog, Rowlf, but you are about to perform your wacky stunt!
ROWLF: And if I do, what will I win?
GUY SMILEY: Rowlf, if you do your stunt, you will win our grand piano!
(Audience cheers very loud)
ROWLF: (feeling very surprised) A piano for me? As my own prize? Oh boy! (holds Guy tightly like a dog)
GUY SMILEY: Yes but get off of me!
ROWLF: Ha ha ha. Sorry but I always have a dog brain in my head!
GUY SMILEY: Oh. All right, Rowlf! Are you listening?
ROWLF: Yes I am, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good! In order to win our grand piano, you will have to find five things that are yellow!
ROWLF: Five things that are yellow.
GUY SMILEY: You got it! And you know about yellow, Rowlf. It's one of the main colors that you see in the rainbow. And take a look at me, for instance. I'm yellow, but you have to find five other things that are yellow besides me, you understand?
ROWLF: Yes I do, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: OK! But you only got 45 seconds on the clock before it reaches the buzzer! So start your engines, Rowlf!
ROWLF: OK, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: So get ready! On your mark, get set, GO!
(Rowlf runs out of the studio like a dog.)
GUY SMILEY: Look at he goes. He's running like a speeding dog. Will he make it on time? He's got 45 seconds to find five things, yes, five things that are the color yellow!
(Rowlf re-enters the studio, carrying a bunch of bananas.)
ROWLF: I found bananas, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Bananas are yellow! Now go find four more!
(As Rowlf runs out of the studio again while carrying a bunch of bananas, Davey and Joey Monkey enter the studio.)
DAVEY MONKEY: Hey! Some brown dog just took our bananas!
JOEY MONKEY: Yeah, we are so hungry that we...
GUY SMILEY: I'm sorry but you two monkeys have to get off the stage. We're doing our 18,610th episode of our television show here.
JOEY MONKEY: Say, you must be America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley!
DAVEY MONKEY: We never met you face-to-face before!
GUY SMILEY: Yes I am Guy Smiley!
JOEY MONKEY: Is this Beat the Time? We never played here before! (to the camera) Hello!
DAVEY MONKEY: (to the camera) Hello!
GUY SMILEY: (while pushing both Davey and Joey Monkey off the stage) Yes this IS Beat the Time but you two have to get off the stage right now! Rowlf the Dog has 36 seconds left to find four more things that are yellow!
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again, carrying Ernie's Rubber Duckie!)
ROWLF: I found a rubber duckie, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good job, Rowlf! That's two things that are yellow! Now you have to find three more!
ROWLF: You bet, Guy!
(as Rowlf runs out of the studio again while carrying Ernie's Rubber Duckie, Ernie enters the studio!)
ERNIE: Hey Guy, Rowlf just took my Rubber Duckie! Have you seen him?
GUY SMILEY: Hmm, I don't think I've seen that duckie of yours, Ernie. BUT YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE STAGE!
ERNIE: AAAAAH! Don't worry, Rubber Duckie! I'm coming to find you! (running out of the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Now Rowlf has 29 seconds left to find three more things that are yellow! Can he do it on time?
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again, bringing Bert into the studio!)
BERT: Hey! Rowlf! What are you doing? I'm trying to read my book!
ROWLF: I found Bert, Guy! He's yellow!
GUY SMILEY: Excellent, Rowlf! Bert is yellow although he is a yellow person! Now go out and find two more things or people that are yellow!
ROWLF: OK, Guy! (running out of the studio again.)
BERT: (feeling very embarrassed) W-w-where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time, Bert! NOW GET OFF THE STAGE!
BERT: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (running out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Now Rowlf has 24 seconds left to find two more things or people that are yellow!
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again, bringing Scooter into the studio!)
SCOOTER: Hey, Rowlf! What are you doing? Get off of me! I'm trying to concentrate on what I was doing for the theater!
ROWLF: I found Scooter, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! That's four things or people that are yellow!
ROWLF: Now I go find one more thing or person! (running out of the studio again.)
GUY SMILEY: One more thing or person that is yellow.
SCOOTER: Hey, wait a minute! Where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time, Scooter! YOU MUST GET OFF THE STAGE BECAUSE WE ARE PLAYING A GAME HERE! GET OFF! GET OFF!
(Scooter screams and runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Rowlf has 19 seconds left to find one more thing or person that is yellow. Will he do it?
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again.)
ROWLF: Hey, Guy! I can't find one more thing or person!
GUY SMILEY: Well hurry up! You're wasting time! Now you got 16 seconds left!
ROWLF: Wait, maybe's it's you. You're yellow. (poking at Guy)
GUY SMILEY: NO YOU CAN'T FIND ME HERE! FIND ONE OTHER THING OR PERSON THAT IS YELLOW BESIDES ME!
ROWLF: But Guy--
GUY SMILEY: Think of something or someone else that is yellow before--
ROWLF: Wait! I know! (running out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: Yeah? Well, look at the clock, ladies and gentlemen! He's only got 8 seconds left before the clock reaches the buzzer! Can he do it on time?
(rumbling sound is heard)
GUY SMILEY: Wait a minute! What's that sound? It's gotta be--! It can't be--!
(Big Bird enters the studio while accidently knocking down the curtains! Rowlf re-enters the studio.)
BIG BIRD: Oops! I think I knocked down part of this TV set by mistake.
ROWLF: I found Big Bird, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Yes! Big Bird is definately yellow! And that means you win our grand piano!
ROWLF: I WIN?
GUY SMILEY: YES! Take a look down there!
(Curtains reveal a big piano)
ROWLF: OH MY GOSH! IT'S MY DREAM COME TRUE! I NEEDED MY OWN PIANO!
GUY SMILEY: Yes you can have your own piano now. It's all yours, Rowlf!
ROWLF: Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! (hugging Guy tightly like a dog)
(Game-show music plays)
GUY SMILEY: Rowlf! I told you to get off of me!
ROWLF: Ha ha ha. Sorry. I was only kidding.
GUY SMILEY: Well join us next week for another exciting game of "Beat the Time!"
BIG BIRD: Oh hi Guy Smiley! Can I have your autograph?
GUY SMILEY: Oh yes you can! The game is over! (gives Big Bird his autograph.) There you go, Big Bird!
BIG BIRD: Why thank you! Can I be on your next week's show?
GUY SMILEY: Well I'm afraid you can't.
BIG BIRD: (feeling sad) Well why not?
GUY SMILEY: Because you're too big to play here! (to the set designers) Can somebody redesign the part of this set! This eight-foot tall yellow bird just knocked it down!
End of sketch
ANNOUNCER: And now, TV lovers, it's time for another exciting game of your favorite and timeless wacky stunt show, "BEAT...THE...TIME!" (cuckoo noise)
(Audience cheers)
(Drum roll as the red background screen fades to the game-show set, similar to the one with Elmo.)
ANNOUNCER: And here is your all-star host of this show, Guy Smiley!
(Audience cheers again. Game-show music plays as Guy Smiley enters the studio through the curtains with a brief struggle and a big grunt.)
GUY SMILEY: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes, hello there, ladies and gentlemen! This is your all-star host, Guy Smiley. And welcome to Beat the Time episode 18,610! (as the game-show music fades away) And you all know about Beat the Time. It's our well-known game-show where contestants do their wacky stunts. So now, here is today's contestant, Mr. Rowlf the Dog of The Muppet Show! Come on out!
(audience cheers as Rowlf enters the studio.)
ROWLF: Thank you! Thank you! (To Guy) Hey there, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Hello there, Rowlf! We've got something exciting for you on this show.
ROWLF: Yeah? What is it? Tell me! I'm beggin' ya! I'm a dog!
GUY SMILEY: I know you are a dog, Rowlf, but you are about to perform your wacky stunt!
ROWLF: And if I do, what will I win?
GUY SMILEY: Rowlf, if you do your stunt, you will win our grand piano!
(Audience cheers very loud)
ROWLF: (feeling very surprised) A piano for me? As my own prize? Oh boy! (holds Guy tightly like a dog)
GUY SMILEY: Yes but get off of me!
ROWLF: Ha ha ha. Sorry but I always have a dog brain in my head!
GUY SMILEY: Oh. All right, Rowlf! Are you listening?
ROWLF: Yes I am, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good! In order to win our grand piano, you will have to find five things that are yellow!
ROWLF: Five things that are yellow.
GUY SMILEY: You got it! And you know about yellow, Rowlf. It's one of the main colors that you see in the rainbow. And take a look at me, for instance. I'm yellow, but you have to find five other things that are yellow besides me, you understand?
ROWLF: Yes I do, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: OK! But you only got 45 seconds on the clock before it reaches the buzzer! So start your engines, Rowlf!
ROWLF: OK, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: So get ready! On your mark, get set, GO!
(Rowlf runs out of the studio like a dog.)
GUY SMILEY: Look at he goes. He's running like a speeding dog. Will he make it on time? He's got 45 seconds to find five things, yes, five things that are the color yellow!
(Rowlf re-enters the studio, carrying a bunch of bananas.)
ROWLF: I found bananas, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Bananas are yellow! Now go find four more!
(As Rowlf runs out of the studio again while carrying a bunch of bananas, Davey and Joey Monkey enter the studio.)
DAVEY MONKEY: Hey! Some brown dog just took our bananas!
JOEY MONKEY: Yeah, we are so hungry that we...
GUY SMILEY: I'm sorry but you two monkeys have to get off the stage. We're doing our 18,610th episode of our television show here.
JOEY MONKEY: Say, you must be America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley!
DAVEY MONKEY: We never met you face-to-face before!
GUY SMILEY: Yes I am Guy Smiley!
JOEY MONKEY: Is this Beat the Time? We never played here before! (to the camera) Hello!
DAVEY MONKEY: (to the camera) Hello!
GUY SMILEY: (while pushing both Davey and Joey Monkey off the stage) Yes this IS Beat the Time but you two have to get off the stage right now! Rowlf the Dog has 36 seconds left to find four more things that are yellow!
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again, carrying Ernie's Rubber Duckie!)
ROWLF: I found a rubber duckie, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good job, Rowlf! That's two things that are yellow! Now you have to find three more!
ROWLF: You bet, Guy!
(as Rowlf runs out of the studio again while carrying Ernie's Rubber Duckie, Ernie enters the studio!)
ERNIE: Hey Guy, Rowlf just took my Rubber Duckie! Have you seen him?
GUY SMILEY: Hmm, I don't think I've seen that duckie of yours, Ernie. BUT YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE STAGE!
ERNIE: AAAAAH! Don't worry, Rubber Duckie! I'm coming to find you! (running out of the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Now Rowlf has 29 seconds left to find three more things that are yellow! Can he do it on time?
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again, bringing Bert into the studio!)
BERT: Hey! Rowlf! What are you doing? I'm trying to read my book!
ROWLF: I found Bert, Guy! He's yellow!
GUY SMILEY: Excellent, Rowlf! Bert is yellow although he is a yellow person! Now go out and find two more things or people that are yellow!
ROWLF: OK, Guy! (running out of the studio again.)
BERT: (feeling very embarrassed) W-w-where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time, Bert! NOW GET OFF THE STAGE!
BERT: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (running out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Now Rowlf has 24 seconds left to find two more things or people that are yellow!
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again, bringing Scooter into the studio!)
SCOOTER: Hey, Rowlf! What are you doing? Get off of me! I'm trying to concentrate on what I was doing for the theater!
ROWLF: I found Scooter, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! That's four things or people that are yellow!
ROWLF: Now I go find one more thing or person! (running out of the studio again.)
GUY SMILEY: One more thing or person that is yellow.
SCOOTER: Hey, wait a minute! Where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time, Scooter! YOU MUST GET OFF THE STAGE BECAUSE WE ARE PLAYING A GAME HERE! GET OFF! GET OFF!
(Scooter screams and runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Rowlf has 19 seconds left to find one more thing or person that is yellow. Will he do it?
(Rowlf re-enters the studio again.)
ROWLF: Hey, Guy! I can't find one more thing or person!
GUY SMILEY: Well hurry up! You're wasting time! Now you got 16 seconds left!
ROWLF: Wait, maybe's it's you. You're yellow. (poking at Guy)
GUY SMILEY: NO YOU CAN'T FIND ME HERE! FIND ONE OTHER THING OR PERSON THAT IS YELLOW BESIDES ME!
ROWLF: But Guy--
GUY SMILEY: Think of something or someone else that is yellow before--
ROWLF: Wait! I know! (running out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: Yeah? Well, look at the clock, ladies and gentlemen! He's only got 8 seconds left before the clock reaches the buzzer! Can he do it on time?
(rumbling sound is heard)
GUY SMILEY: Wait a minute! What's that sound? It's gotta be--! It can't be--!
(Big Bird enters the studio while accidently knocking down the curtains! Rowlf re-enters the studio.)
BIG BIRD: Oops! I think I knocked down part of this TV set by mistake.
ROWLF: I found Big Bird, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Yes! Big Bird is definately yellow! And that means you win our grand piano!
ROWLF: I WIN?
GUY SMILEY: YES! Take a look down there!
(Curtains reveal a big piano)
ROWLF: OH MY GOSH! IT'S MY DREAM COME TRUE! I NEEDED MY OWN PIANO!
GUY SMILEY: Yes you can have your own piano now. It's all yours, Rowlf!
ROWLF: Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! (hugging Guy tightly like a dog)
(Game-show music plays)
GUY SMILEY: Rowlf! I told you to get off of me!
ROWLF: Ha ha ha. Sorry. I was only kidding.
GUY SMILEY: Well join us next week for another exciting game of "Beat the Time!"
BIG BIRD: Oh hi Guy Smiley! Can I have your autograph?
GUY SMILEY: Oh yes you can! The game is over! (gives Big Bird his autograph.) There you go, Big Bird!
BIG BIRD: Why thank you! Can I be on your next week's show?
GUY SMILEY: Well I'm afraid you can't.
BIG BIRD: (feeling sad) Well why not?
GUY SMILEY: Because you're too big to play here! (to the set designers) Can somebody redesign the part of this set! This eight-foot tall yellow bird just knocked it down!
End of sketch
