caveman Ernie and the washing machine salesman

minor muppetz

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Narrarator: A long, long time ago, people lived in caves, and didn't have very much to do. In fact, if our clothes were dirty, we washed by hand, not by machine.
(cave king Ernie is washing some clothes in a river in the cave)
Ernie: Oh, I can't believe that I've sent my royal cleaners on vacation. Now I have to wash the royal clothes all by myself.
(sneaky music starts playing as Lefty shows up, wearing caveman attire and his salesman hat)
Lefty: Psst! He, bud...
Ernie: Who, me?
Lefty: Shhhhhhh!
Ernie: (quietly) Who, me?
Lefty: Riiiiiiiiiight.....
Ernie: What?
Lefty: I see that you are struggling to wash your clothes.
Ernie: Yes, I am.
Lefty: Well, suppose I had something that could make the job easier.
Ernie: Like what?
(the screen widens, revealing a washing machine enxt to Lefty)
Lefty: This machine here can wash your clothes a lot faster.
Ernie: Oh, really, eh?
Lefty: Yup. Just put your wet clothes into the machine and try it out.
Ernie: Okay.

(Ernie puts the wet clothes into the washing machine. He presses the button, and it starts washing)

Ernie: It's amazing.
Lefty: Yeah.
Ernie: But what do I do about drying my clothes?
Lefty: Well, I've also got a dryer. I'll be right back. (leaves)
Ernie: I can't wait to tell everybody about this newer, faster way to wash clothes.
(Lefty pushes a dryer into the area)
Lefty: And this dryer will instantly dry your clothes.
(a bussing sound is hear don the washing machine)
Ernie: What's that?
Lefty: Oh, it's the sound that tells you that the clothes are done washing. Now, put the wet clothe sinto the dryer.
Ernie: Okay.
(Ernie takes his clothes out and puts it into the dryer)
Ernie: Hmmm, it's not working.
Lefty: You forgot to turn on the "dry" button.
Ernie: Well, they all look dry to me. (laughs)
(Lefty cringes)
Ernie: But I know what you mean. (presses button, and it starts drying) Amazing!
Lefty: Shhhh!
Ernie: (quietly) Amazing.
Lefty: Riiiight.

(they watch, and the dryer soon stops. The bell rings)
Ernie: I guess that bell means that it's done.
Lefty: Riiiight........
Ernie: Well, I'll just check on my clothes. (opens door, and takes out the clothes) Oh, they really are dry. And warm, too! I'll take a washer and a dryer.
Lefty: Well, the washer will cost you just a nickel, and the dryer wil cost you 20 dollars.
Ernie: Oh, I can't give you any money.
Lefty: Why not?
Ernie: Money hasn't been invented yet.
Lefty: Oh. Well, then, I will give you these in exchange for a membership in the company soft ball team.
Ernie: Oh, okay. That's fair. After all, using the washer and dryer are so easy.......
Lefty: They are so easy a caveman can do it.
Ernie: right. (does a double take, and looks sad) You know, you just hurt my feelings... (walks away)
Lefty: Oh, no. I think I've just lost myself a membership.
 
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