Challenges, Triumphs and Pixie Dust!

jvcarroll

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I’ve learned how to stand by my decisions more than I used to, and as to have patience that things will unfold as they should. Like, I’ve been perusing acting as a hobby (I have a professional job that’s more Communications related). And I’ve done well for myself actually building up my resume. But it’s a hazard of acting that you don’t often know when your next gig is coming from, and that can send you into a bit of a panic (of course it’s even harder on professional actors who rely on it for a living). Anyway, the point is for awhile I was so overtaken by that fear that I ended up begging for attention from people I hadn’t even enjoy working with all that much. A couple who had been downright a**holes even. I had convinced myself that it was strong to try and “suck up it” and live with it. But I see now that was nonsense. It’s stronger to hold out for projects I know I will enjoy, and people I know I can trust. So I decided to stop begging and go through other outlets (such as Backstage for instance). It took a lot of patience but eventually I managed to land an audition and get in a comedy sketch show that turned out amazing! And not long after that, a friend recommended me for a play that we’re rehearsing now (networking is also a valuable skill, hehe). So yeah, I’m glad I had a change of heart in that regard. It’s too easy to give into worry and let it distort your thinking.
Most artists I know have side gigs or their art is their side gig. This includes people known in puppetry circles. It's the way of the world. The trick is making peace with that life is always going to have to be somewhat of a hustle. It also keeps one sharp and humble. The artists who can miraculously bypass this are often neither of those things. :stick_out_tongue: Trust you gut and have good friends for bad days.
 

CensoredAlso

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Just unfollowed two different "fan groups" that were nothing but negativity and complaining. It's amazing how vehemently people will defend their right to be miserable, lol.
 

jvcarroll

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Just unfollowed two different "fan groups" that were nothing but negativity and complaining. It's amazing how vehemently people will defend their right to be miserable, lol.
OMG! So true. I'm a hot minute from going to HR about a coworker who's just angry and slamming things around all the time. None of it's about me, but I have such a chipper attitude (particularly in the morning...I know, I'm one of those) and go out of my way to make customers feel great that he often gets prickly and gives me the stink eye. I feel like his hostage the entire time I'm there. It's living in Deadwood! Dude always apologizes, but I've seen him give similar apologies to customers who've been offended by him. They mean nothing and he'll just do all of that again. Every day, however, I reset and none of the previous days of work matter. Clean slate that he dirties within the first hour. He's dependable and good at his job, aside from the people aspect, and he's one of four assistant managers, but I think anger management would help him. Meh. Sorry, but what you said really got to me. I even gave him a quick little how-to note about Amazon customer service because he was complaining about his Kendle and continued to freak out for nearly an hour. It would have solved his problem within 10 minutes. I've done it. He's like, "Why would you do this? I don't need this!!!!" instead of saying thank you. In my head, I'm like, "Aw, sweetpea, it's not for you!" Some people want to live in the problem. Obsessing in pain only creates more pain. Some will never learn that lesson.
 

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I have such a chipper attitude (particularly in the morning...I know, I'm one of those) and go out of my way to make customers feel great that he often gets prickly and gives me the stink eye.
He might be nervous that you're better at interacting with customers than him.
 

dwayne1115

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OMG! So true. I'm a hot minute from going to HR about a coworker who's just angry and slamming things around all the time. None of it's about me, but I have such a chipper attitude (particularly in the morning...I know, I'm one of those) and go out of my way to make customers feel great that he often gets prickly and gives me the stink eye. I feel like his hostage the entire time I'm there. It's living in Deadwood! Dude always apologizes, but I've seen him give similar apologies to customers who've been offended by him. They mean nothing and he'll just do all of that again. Every day, however, I reset and none of the previous days of work matter. Clean slate that he dirties within the first hour. He's dependable and good at his job, aside from the people aspect, and he's one of four assistant managers, but I think anger management would help him. Meh. Sorry, but what you said really got to me. I even gave him a quick little how-to note about Amazon customer service because he was complaining about his Kendle and continued to freak out for nearly an hour. It would have solved his problem within 10 minutes. I've done it. He's like, "Why would you do this? I don't need this!!!!" instead of saying thank you. In my head, I'm like, "Aw, sweetpea, it's not for you!" Some people want to live in the problem. Obsessing in pain only creates more pain. Some will never learn that lesson.
As a person who has Ben in some kind of customer service for nearly 20 years now I can tell you that is no kind of attitude to have near customers ever. I am great with customers, and it sounds like you are to. Customers can tell when someone is genuine about being chipper and they can also tell when someone is fake.
Personally I would not report him because of how he makes you feel. I would stand up for the customers.
 

jvcarroll

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Not sure where to post this anymore. Busy guy, but I have to put it somewhere! Y'all know my politics, but what you probably do not know is the great respect I have for this woman. My family has always been friendly with her family through my Mom. Flo knows everybody! Barbara was a notoriously formidable presence and always her own person. Her values of women's choice and support of people no matter whom they loved may not have been widely known on the political stage, but they were well known to all who knew her. I had the privilege of meeting her once and she was as sweet and welcoming as you'd want her to be. On another note, I would often see her hair stylist when I was a teen out in Houston's gay clubs of the mid 90's. He'd sneak me free Champagne and make sure I was okay. Of course, he answered the question people always ask him of her, "Yes, she likes her hair that way and it'll never change." That was the First Lady in everything she did. Always. The world will miss her independence and charm. She was also among the favorite First Ladies of Sesame Street.
 

MikaelaMuppet

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Not sure where to post this anymore. Busy guy, but I have to put it somewhere! Y'all know my politics, but what you probably do not know is the great respect I have for this woman. My family has always been friendly with her family through my Mom. Flo knows everybody! Barbara was a notoriously formidable presence and always her own person. Her values of women's choice and support of people no matter whom they loved may not have been widely known on the political stage, but they were well known to all who knew her. I had the privilege of meeting her once and she was as sweet and welcoming as you'd want her to be. On another note, I would often see her hair stylist when I was a teen out in Houston's gay clubs of the mid 90's. He'd sneak me free Champagne and make sure I was okay. Of course, he answered the question people always ask him of her, "Yes, she likes her hair that way and it'll never change." That was the First Lady in everything she did. Always. The world will miss her independence and charm. She was also among the favorite First Ladies of Sesame Street.
I created a RIP Barbara Bush thread if you want to post in there.
 

CensoredAlso

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Whoa boy, I was really hoping I’d never have to go to this dark place again...

This guy I’ve been seeing told me last night that while he’s really enjoying our relationship in the short term, he’s uncertain as yet about the long term, due to our very different personalities. He says he’s not breaking up with me, he still wants to enjoy what we have for now, but it was still pretty chilling to hear. I’ll be honest, if this doesn’t work out, I don’t see too many other options for me; I’m no social butterfly and trying by artificial means (dating sites, speed dating) has failed embarrassingly all around. I was hoping I wouldn’t find myself in this situation at my age, but then again, I’m not sure why I expected anything else. I already have never liked my personality, frankly it’s always been a challenge just getting through a day with myself. Heck, a minute. People are nice enough to me in a “let’s be nice for a minute to the awkward, sweet girl who talks too much about Star Trek” kind of way. And I’ve already had to break up with a guy I loved very much. Yes, he wasn’t good for me, but at least he wanted me around. At least we did have a lot in common. Everyone said I should be happy he’s gone, but I’ve never felt so miserable in my life. This new relationship was unexpected and had finally brought some light back, and now if my personality becomes a direct reason for ruining this, I don’t know what I’m going to do...
 
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jvcarroll

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Whoa boy, I was really hoping I’d never have to go to this dark place again...

This guy I’ve been seeing told me last night that while he’s really enjoying our relationship in the short term, he’s uncertain as yet about the long term, due to our very different personalities. He says he’s not breaking up with me, he still wants to enjoy what we have for now, but it was still pretty chilling to hear. I’ll be honest, if this doesn’t work out, I don’t see too many other options for me; I’m no social butterfly and trying by artificial means (dating sites, speed dating) has failed embarrassingly all around. I was hoping I wouldn’t find myself in this situation at my age, but then again, I’m not sure why I expected anything else. I already have never liked my personality, frankly it’s always been a challenge just getting through a day with myself. Heck, a minute. People are nice enough to me in a “let’s be nice for a minute to the awkward, sweet girl who talks too much about Star Trek” kind of way. And I’ve already had to break up with a guy I loved very much. Yes, he wasn’t good for me, but at least he wanted me around. At least we did have a lot in common. Everyone said I should be happy he’s gone, but I’ve never felt so miserable in my life. This new relationship was unexpected and had finally brought some light back, and now if my personality becomes a direct reason for ruining this, I don’t know what I’m going to do...
That's rough. My advice is to do the hard thing - to put yourself out there socially and just meet people, all sorts of people, without thinking about relationships. I'm talking guys and girls. You've said that you're not a social butterfly. Few people are and you don't have to be to find more of your people out there (or your-people-adjacent). Have fun! Network. Relationships then happen more organically and happily. It's not easy at first, but it gets easier. Good places seem to be ones of common interests. Classes on things. I you like stuff like gourmet cooking, there are some of those out there. If you like art, museums often have life drawing courses and other such things. You don't even have to be good at them. That's the point. And you learn as much from the others in the group as you do from the teacher. That's the social element that makes connecting easier. The worst that could happen is that you find something - not someone - that enriches your life in a way no person could ever do. It seems like you've tried everything else. I know what it's like to be a crap magnet for bad boys. I've had my share and I've been taking some time off for a few years. No lie. Good guys seem hard to come by, but I can assure you that there are many who are right now thinking the same way you do and some of those would be a good fit. Those are my thoughts. Hang in there. :smile:
 
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