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Da Poil - a musical play

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Winslow Leach, Jun 10, 2008.

  1. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Active Member

    What is he, an amazon? xD
    Go Beaker! Whooohoooo! Kick his MEEP!
    I love how protective he is of Bunsen...
    It reminds me of an old married couple.
  2. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member


    Thanks, Claudia!:)
  3. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member

    Milo arrives at the park, about five minutes too late. Dad sits in a daze, on the grass.

    Milo: Where is he, Dad? Don't tell me youse vaporized 'im, heh heh!

    Dad: I...I have no recollection of the past twenty-four hours...the last thing I remember, I was just settling down to watch Bill O'Reilly when...Milo! Why am I dressed like this?

    Milo: Dat's yer uniform! Now tell me: how did youse kill Ernest? I wanted ta be here ta watch the excitement, but I ran inta da ice cream man on da way here an' he held me up.

    Dad: Oh. You bought an ice cream?

    Milo: No. I mean he really held me up, da crum-bum! He made me empty my pockets, an' hand everytin' over ta him! Den he sped off, witout even givin' me an ice cream treat fer my trouble!

    Dad: Why am I sitting in the park?

    Milo: You were supposed ta kill Ernest.

    Dad: Kill...Ernest?

    Milo: Yeah, you said you would!

    Dad: Boy, I'm not a killer.

    Milo: B-but last night you was all fer it! You said he was a thorn in yer fanny!

    Dad: I would never demean myself by committing cold-blooded murder!

    Milo: What about hot-blooded? I kin raise yer blood temperature trew da roof--

    Dad: As much as I despise that giggling twit...I just cannot bring myself to hurt him. Something about his head...

    Milo: His head?

    Dad: Yes. I find it rather amusing. I've never seen anything like it. It would be a shame to squash that head like a ripe melon...although sometimes it is tempting. Help me up, boy.

    Milo helps Dad up.

    Dad: You still haven't explained why I'm dressed like this.

    Milo: Eh, I'll tell ya on da way home...
  4. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Yeah... Us ice cream guys have a tough union... *Tosses da tootsie frootsie popsicle at Tommy tanking 'im for tis chapter. Now post on to da ending youz crum-bum or we'll have to pump youz for all dose nickels we lost at da Lefty-pot that night at da dorms.
  5. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member

    Ending? Who said this was ending?

    This thing can go on indefinitely, muwahahahahahahahahaha!

    (yeah, I'm getting sick of it too, lol...:p)

    We're coming into the home stretch...probably one or two more segments should do it.

  6. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member

    Ernest and Corky in the school playground; Corky futiley tries to play catch with Ernest, but Ernest is completely inept.

    Milo strolls up to them; Ernest hides behind Corky.

    Milo: Relax, Ernest...I'm not gonna hoit ya.

    Ernest: A-are you sure, Milie?

    Milo: 'Course I'm sure. I decided it wasn't woith it. Plus it wouldn't look good on my record, considerin' I'm an escapee from dat detention center an' all.

    Ernest: What a relief! Now I no longer need fear for my life!

    (Ernest looks at the sky)

    Milo: What are youse lookin' at?

    Ernest: I want to be sure that giant birdie isn't going to come swooping down and catch me. Poor Andy and Randy.

    Milo: Ah, forget dose pork rinds. Dere history!

    Ernest: How are things with you and your daddy?

    Milo: Meh. I'll be payin' him back forever...he still doesn't acknowledge me as his son...an' he makes me sleep outside in dat old doghouse out back. But odder dan dat, tings are goin' okay.

    Ernest: Well, I think this calls for a song--

    Milo: Nah, I'm not in da mood ta hear ya warblin'. I hoid enough of yer yodellin'...it almost drove me insane!

    Ernest: Tssst-ssssst-sssst!

    Milo: What?

    Ernest: Isn't it funny that this little story is called "The Pearl," yet there wasn't an actual pearl in it.

    Milo: Yeah...dis ting shoulda ended pages ago, instead of stretchin' out inta some weird revenge story.

    Ernest: Indeed! The author completely lost track of his original intention!

    Milo: Ah, whatever. All dat matters is we're friends again! Put 'er dere!

    (Milo holds out his hand)

    Ernest: I'm sorry, Milo. I have decided I cannot be your friend anymore. You were a rotten, devious, back-stabbing "crum-bum," and I don't accept your friendship anymore.

    Milo: What da hey? I'm da cool one! I'm supposed ta dump youse, not da odder way around!

    Ernest: Meh!

    Milo: Who do ya tink is gonna protect youse from bullies?

    Ernest: Why, my dear new friend, Corky of course!

    Ernest turns to Corky, but Corky is not standing by him; he's off, playing catch with someone else.

    Ernest: Er...he enjoys catch!

    Milo: So...yer serious about dis, huh?

    Ernest: Yes. I don't need you anymore, Milie, now that I've seen your true colors!

    Bell rings.

    Ernest: Bye bye, Milie! Oh, you may be interested to know I took the liberty of phoning the institution you escaped from. You'll find some familiar faces waiting at home for you! Tssst-ssst-ssssst!

    Milo stands in shock. He watches Ernest, Corky and everyone else on the playground go into the school. He continues to stand, staring.

    In the distance, the screech of a giant bird can be heard...

  7. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Youz know... This story was funny and serious and all sortsa emotional truout. Tanks for another thrilling tale Slug. Hope the next one doesn't take ya long to hatch.
  8. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member

    Thanks, Ed!:)
  9. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Active Member

    XD I missed this so bad. <3
  10. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member

    LOL! Thanks, Claudia! Still thinking of my next fic...which I promise will NOT involve the Leftmeister...
  11. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member

    Lefty: I still can't believe dat mook cast me as some careless punk! I ain't nuttin' like dat Milo crum. I demand dis story be rewritten, wit me in a suave-ay role...sometin' dat George Clooney would play. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

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