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Dealing with depression and anxiety

Discussion in 'Friends and Family' started by charlietheowl, Dec 30, 2011.

  1. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a tough situation to be in, having your parents act so negatively towards you and then depend on your help in certain situations. It seems like that perhaps the best course of action for you, like fuzzygobo said, might be to move out for a bit, even though that's obviously a lot easier said than done. Hopefully you can depend on your boyfriend for support and sympathy in a time like this.
    DramaQueenMokey likes this.
  2. DramaQueenMokey

    DramaQueenMokey Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone and, I to answer some questions, I do 'technically' live at abuela's during most of the week; I stay with her until all but Friday because, if I want to go out the next day (Saturday), I have to sleep at my mom's house but, part-time living with abuela is indeed, a relief for the most part and, then I do end up sleeping there on Saturday, Sunday, until Friday when I want to go out on the weekend again.

    I have contemplated permanently ending things before but, that's a permanent solution to a temporary problem...And, I couldn't just abandon my boyfriend like that. Plus, I just landed my first internship and, I just made The Dean's List for 2nd year in a row! Again, I want to just cave and go crawl in a frozen hole but, I really can't.

    Y'know, my parents will get theirs (I am going to stick them in cruddy retirement homes first chance I get; they have no other kids and, any family they might have will be too old themselves when that time comes), but, for now, I guess I've got to tread in this deep water and figure things out.
    charlietheowl and PuppetMad like this.
  3. PuppetMad

    PuppetMad Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you have somewhere to go to get away from things, that's important, and its great you have a good relationship with your abuela. Try and tough things out for awhile and enjoy your internship, I hope its all you want it to be.
  4. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    I'm in massive physical pain all the time, doctors are clueless, and my family has to start screaming at me for daring to be in a bad mood. Pretty much guaranteed I'm not going to bed tonight, so if anyone's still around, so am I, heh.
  5. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it must be terrible to be sick and not have any guidance from the doctors as to why. Plus it's not fair for your family to expect you to be happy when you're feeling sick. It sounds like a very tough situation. I hope you're doing better this morning.
    CensoredAlso likes this.
  6. fuzzygobo

    fuzzygobo Well-Known Member

    That must suck to be in pain, or to feel really sick, and your family doesn't care about how you feel?
    I've spent enough time in hospitals and know that's not a fun place to begin with. To be cooped up for any length of time and not feeling well doesn't help any.
    But if your family can't give any support or compassion for your condition, let me.
    CensoredAlso likes this.
  7. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    Thanks, guys. I actually have a great family, it's just they can't handle stress of any kind whatsoever, lol. :p
  8. FraggleLover130

    FraggleLover130 Well-Known Member

    I've struggled with depression on and off this year. It sucks. The worst part is, I manage to convince myself that I don't want to talk to the people who I know care about me. Instead, I somehow believe that the only people I want to talk to are the ones that I know don't give a ****. In this way, I manage to completely isolate myself. Plus, lately, I've felt that I have very few close friends, if any, so I'm very lonely. It's all kinda rough right now and support is good.
    CensoredAlso likes this.
  9. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    I feel like I've done sort of the same thing. I guess there's so much more pressure associated with hanging around with people who care. It's hard for me to dwell on positive thoughts about myself for too long. Meanwhile, talking with people you know are going to be rude, say online, can become strangely addictive, heh.
    FraggleLover130 likes this.
  10. FraggleLover130

    FraggleLover130 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it's all pretty difficult. I took a minute to look at your profile, and from what limited knowledge I have of you, I can say that your taste in television and music is excellent! I'm sure there are lots of other good things about you, too. As for me, some of my best friends have also been drifting away, and it's like, well I thought they cared but I guess not too much, haha. Oh well, I have the Muppets and the internet :)
    CensoredAlso likes this.
  11. fuzzygobo

    fuzzygobo Well-Known Member

    I'm no stranger to depression either. It does seem easier to keep things bottled up or to try to reach out to people who really can't help us.
    There's nothing to be ashamed of for asking for help. Some are reluctant to do so because they think it's a sign of weakness. It actually takes more strength to take that first step asking for help than to weather the storm by yourself.

    And depression is not something you master. You might have a spell where you need counseling to fight the demons. You might beat them for a while, but the demons can come back. But the more you reach out, the demons don't seem as bad.

    It's easy to paint yourself into a corner, to isolate yourself, to cut yourself off from the rest of the world. Taking a step out of that corner can be hard, and it can be painful. But those that can help you the most might not always be able to reach you. You might need to try to reach them.
    My biggest demon was dealing with my alcoholic father. Two years after he died, I was finally able to start untangling myself from years of abuse, anger, self-loathing, all that fun crap. But that demon was finally put back in its box, and he won't bother me anymore.

    Anyone struggling with their own demons, I feel for you. But there are people to help you overcome them. You're stronger than you might think.
  12. DramaQueenMokey

    DramaQueenMokey Well-Known Member

    I understand the want to shut out those closest to you; I'm guilty of that myself. In fact, I even almost lost my relationship over it but, I didn't in the end because, my boyfriend really loves me and he didn't want me to kick myself into the dirt and convincing myself that he didn't care about me because, that wasn't true. My depression had me trying to convince myself that someone who loves me with all their heart, didn't.

    Depression is not an easy thing to battle but, you don't have to fight that battle alone <3
    FraggleLover130 likes this.
  13. FraggleLover130

    FraggleLover130 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like your boyfriend is a wonderful guy. Thanks for the hopeful message. I try to remember lots of people love me, but it's hard, and reminders of that help :)
    DramaQueenMokey likes this.
  14. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    It is hard. Sometimes it feels like it's a lot easier to believe the negative thoughts over the positive ones. Doesn't make them any more true though. ;)
  15. FraggleLover130

    FraggleLover130 Well-Known Member

    Ha yeah, true, thanks :)
  16. DramaQueenMokey

    DramaQueenMokey Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone! I don't remember if I posted about it or what but, I am currently doing my 1st internship and, I'm interning at a wonderful site called Psych2Go and, this was my first article: http://www.psych2go.net/a-depressio...rning-to-trust-my-significant-other-and-more/

    I am going to be posting my 2nd article tomorrow and, the blatant self-promotion aside, there are a lot of very inspiring and helpful articles on that site. I wanted to share the existence of this site in case anyone could use a little pick me up and or could use even more people who understand what it's like to live with mental illness in their support circles.

    Thanks everyone!
  17. fuzzygobo

    fuzzygobo Well-Known Member

    Very good article. I hope that channeling your feelings through your writing makes things easier for you.

    Your boyfriend and Abuela are there to love you unconditionally. Some of us here give you empathy because we fought the same battles. You have the desire to express yourself in your writing.

    You have a lot going for you.
  18. DramaQueenMokey

    DramaQueenMokey Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much! Really, thanks to all of you :) I very much appreciate all of your support; it adds to the net of love my Abuela and boyfriend ultimately catch me with <3
    Katzi428 and charlietheowl like this.
  19. Mo Frackle

    Mo Frackle Well-Known Member

    Been some time since I last visited MC. Before delving too deeply into my current status, I'd like to give my support to all of those going through difficult times. You're not alone. And hey, things work out. At least that's what I'm told!

    Since the age of thirteen, I've had social anxiety disorder - essentially an extreme fear of certain social situations. It all stemmed from childhood, I suppose - being mistreated and taken advantage of by people.

    I spent a good chunk of my teenage years wondering what was wrong. Rather than hanging out with friends outside of school, weekends were typically spent alone. I simply had a difficult time trusting people, and would therefore avoid them.

    During my freshman year of college, I finally found out about the disorder through a Google search of every symptom I could think of (so no, I was never officially diagnosed, but I'm 99.9999% sure I've had it).

    For the next few years, I did nothing about it. This led to me more or less wasting a good chunk of my college career, as I wouldn't take the sort of chances needed for my classes, participated in no extracurricular activities, and didn't bother to build connetions with many people. All because of fear.

    But that began to change last Spring. I'm bashful to admit it, but I developed a crush on a classmate. The downside is that I couldn't gather up the courage to talk to her, which I assume was caused by the SA. I soon decided that being afraid of the world is simply no way of living, and began finding ways to improve myself. I haven't looked back since.

    I did get to spend some time with this certain someone over the Summer, though mostly through school-related projects that we worked on together. Getting to know her has been lovely, though I quickly came to the conclusion that we would be better off as friends.

    Either way, this person was such a great help to me. Very understanding and accepting of people. The sort of person that makes those around her feel like they matter. I learned two big lessons from her: it's important to have friends, and it's important to be a friend. We simply need people in our lives. Friends, colleagues, acquaintances, whatevers that can help us, and that we can help in return. (Because I isolated myself from others so much in high school and early college, I don't have as many friends now as I'd like to. Hopefully I'll be able to develop some new friendships in the coming years).

    While signs of a romantic crush may be gone, I still do have a great deal of admiration for this person. She's a role model to me, I suppose. Unfortunately, it's unlikely that we'll be seeing each other for awhile. It's a shame, especially since I feel as though I could have been a better friend to her. However, I did send her an email the other day, thanking her for being a pal, and saying how nice of a person I thought she was. It came straight from the heart. I was saying goodbye, I suppose. Haven't heard back from her yet, but I'm glad that I said it anyway.

    Perhaps our paths will cross again, but in the meantime I am still going to work on improving myself. Things turned out okay when I put everything in perspective. I wouldn't would have taken the effort to be a better, healthier person if I'd never met her. And it all came from a crush. Funny how life works that way. And hey, at least I got to spend some time with this person. I didn't even think I'd make it that far!

    Most of the depression I'm currently experiencing is from fear of the future. As I head into my senior year of college, I'm left wondering, "what's next?" People in my major (Media Arts) are always warned about the difficulties of finding a job in our fields of interest. Having very few projects from my previous years (few that I can appreciate, anyway), few information to put on my resume, and few LinkedIn connections (employers love those, right?) has concernced me greatly. I've just started searching for decent job opportunities, and am always worried that the business owners not wanting me based on my credentials (or lack thereof).

    I always get a little sad when I see colleagues/classmates getting decent jobs.

    Today I had a mini panic attack...

    Is getting a decent job and/or on the road to the life I've always dreamed of attainable? Sure. But the question is, how do I get there? Any advice (or even related stories about college/early adult years) would be greatly appreciated.

    Boy, that was a mouthful. I really seem to be able to get more out of myself when I write. If you've made it this far, I'll leave you with this closing thought: go out and be a friend. Put your self aside for someone else. After all, everybody needs friends.
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2015
    fuzzygobo and WalterLinz like this.
  20. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that you were able to work on your social anxiety with your friend, and that having a good friend made such a difference in your life. Friends are great when it comes to being able to sharing time, there's nothing like having a great conversation with someone that you know likes you for you. Hopefully you can use the confidence you gained with this friendship to form future ones down the road.

    I think the best approach for job-hunting is the volume kind. Send out application after application after application. It's hard to find a job, and involves a good deal of luck. I was unemployed for a long time before I found my current job, and it took a lot of widening of what I applied to and looking at part-time jobs as well. Be hopeful about what you can get but also be aware that it could take a long time.

    Best of luck!
    Mo Frackle likes this.

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