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Dirtyest Muppet Show joke/routine

Discussion in 'Classic Muppets' started by Devo, Nov 11, 2002.

  1. Devo

    Devo Member

    I noticed that Kermit is going to be on the Late Late Show Wednesday, and, remembering his performance on The Daily Show, it got me to thinking what the dirtyest joke a Muppet has ever delivered was. The only one I can think of is from the wig race: "I would never use sham poo. Only real poo is good enough for my wigs." (or something to that effect) Is there anything worse? Let everyone know!


    Homer Simpson - "NOOO! It was finger Ling-Ling good!"
  2. Daffyfan4ever

    Daffyfan4ever Well-Known Member


    One that sticks in my mind is actually from "Muppet's Tonight!" Seymor and Pepe's "Elephino" joke. They were obviously hinting at a dirty word. Lol.
    Flaky Pudding likes this.
  3. punkNpuppets

    punkNpuppets Well-Known Member

    the cindy crawford episode of Muppets Tonight. Bobo liked cindy and wanted to talk to her, and Rizzo was telling him what to say through a microphone and an earpiece. Anyways, it shows Rizzo nieces and nephews come in like they were at the fair.

    ONE OF THE NEICES/NEPHEWS: Hi uncle Rizzo, we just came back from the fair!
    RIZZO: Ohh. Nice balloons, maybe you'll let me play with them later.
    BOBO: Maybe you'll let me play with later.
    CINDY: What??? (punches Bobo, he goes through the wall)

    they didn't show Bobo saying 'nice balloons', just the 'maybe you'll let me play with them later' part.

    this thread will show everyone that the muppets aren't just for babies!!! haha
  4. punkNpuppets

    punkNpuppets Well-Known Member

  5. Daffyfan4ever

    Daffyfan4ever Well-Known Member


    Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one here who mentioned a "Muppet's Tonight!" episode. I guess that one was a bit dirtier than the original "Muppet Show." I really miss MT. I haven't even seen the one with Cindy Crawford. For that matter, I haven't even seen the one with Billy Crystal or any second season episodes.
  6. Ryan

    Ryan Well-Known Member

    Carol Burnet: After a long night of dancing, Piggy : "Well Kermie, when the next rest period comes up...we can go up to my dressing room. I'll loosen your collar" Kermit: "Are we here to talk or to dance??!"

    In the Miss Piggy 1983 Calender, you can see her butt cheeck in the poster spread.

    Other than TMS:
    The Land of Gorch from SNL had some very very adult situations...such as Scred and Peuta engaging in ...things.. as well as drug use and cursing.. Jim Henson at his weirdest.

    Hollywood Squares guest starring Kermit : Tom:"Kermit, in Superman Lois Lane was a writer..whatkind of books did she write?" Kermit: "Oh, uh, she wrote self help books...yeah. Like "Look Up in The Sky!: A Book Of Love Making Tips for Men Who Are Faster Than A Speeding Bullet."

    When the Muppets guest Hosted for Johny Carson: Gonzo (to Bernadette Peters): This is my first time. Oh, I mean on this show!

    Kermit on Cher: Kermit"Do you , uh....fool around?"

  7. Daffyfan4ever

    Daffyfan4ever Well-Known Member


    Hmmm. I remember seeing Kermit on "Hollywood Squares," but my memory sort of escapes me on that one. Well, were on the subject, remember the time Brad Garret cursed in front of Big Bird?

    Brad: Kiss it's ***** goodbye. Oh, sorry, Big Bird.
  8. Salmoto

    Salmoto Well-Known Member

    When the Muppets were on Family Feud the survey of "Body parts people consider to be round" came to a screeching halt when Kermit, rather uncomfortably, guessed "Mammary Glands."

    And on the Daily Show, when Jon states he has a frog in a jar, Kermit respons "You HAVE a frog? Is that like saying you HAVE a woman?"
  9. Skeeter Muppet

    Skeeter Muppet Well-Known Member

    Re: Reply

    The only memory I have of Kermit on Hollywood Squares that stands out is when he and Piggy were sharing a square, and Piggy gets asked how do you deal with a cheating boyfriend (or something to do with a boyfriend) and she goes, "Oh, like this: Hii-yahh!" and karate chops Kermit right out of the square (out the back, not the front). What was really great was that he kept calling for help, like "I've fallen over the rail!"

    I don't recall seeing Brad curse in front of Big Bird, but I know that Whoopi once cursed in front of Elmo. It was shown in the bloopers during the end credits. And after Whoopi says it Elmo starts going, "Whoopi, Whoopi, Whoopi!" Then he ad-libs "Elmo learned a new word on Hollywood Squares!"

    Whoopi: "No, no! That is not a word you should be saying, Elmo! That was Whoopi losing her mind!"

  10. Fozzie Bear

    Fozzie Bear Well-Known Member

    Miss Piggy was on The Daily Show with John Stewart and he asked her a question, and she began stuttering over her words, and John asked her, "What's the matter? Got a frog in your throat?"

    I forgot her response.

    Scred to Raquel Welch, wanted to get with her, she says, "But, your a Muppet, there's nothing below your waist!" He looks down and back up and says, "But, I'm pretty good with my hands!"
  11. Daffyfan4ever

    Daffyfan4ever Well-Known Member


    I regularly watch "Hollywood Squares," but I missed that one. I must have been out when that one was one. I should have taped it.

    I don't remember that one either. What did Whoopi say?
  12. scarecroe

    scarecroe Well-Known Member

    Janice. Loose. Nuff said. :D
  13. Fozzie Bear

    Fozzie Bear Well-Known Member

    Right on, man! I can't believe I didn't remember to post that one!!

  14. punkNpuppets

    punkNpuppets Well-Known Member

    Janice is the dirtiest muppet on tms. out of all the muppet girls, she would be the sl......nevermind....

    the dirtiest thing on Sesame Street was said by Gladys in "Proud To Be A Cow" -
    I'm proud to have an udder, like my father NO my MOTHER!

    and the first tms episode was called "Sex And Violence"
  15. the_great_gonzo

    the_great_gonzo Well-Known Member

    When Raquel Welch hosted TMS, her outfit in the opening number was a little risque.
  16. The Flying Sheep

    The Flying Sheep Well-Known Member

    Don't let Bryan hear you say that! Or me! i love Janice!
  17. Salmoto

    Salmoto Well-Known Member

    Yeah, and Janice is in a monogamous relationship to boot. That Camilla on the other hand, can't seem to pick between Sam and Gonzo.
  18. Daffyfan4ever

    Daffyfan4ever Well-Known Member


    That seems to be true. After all, she was the one that used the "h" word in "The Great Muppet Caper." Also, don't forget her line in "The Muppet's Take Manhattan:" I don't take my clothes off for anybody, even if it IS artistic.
  19. Joggy

    Joggy Well-Known Member

    Something I read on Tough Pigs, some guest appearances:

    (host: ) "Doesn't that give you warts?"
    (Kermit: ) "Sure. But I always wear protection."

    There was also a Jay Leno appearance about "frogs' "thing" shrinking down" to which Kermit replied: "That's uh, quite a touchy subject. I mean, difficult."
  20. punkNpuppets

    punkNpuppets Well-Known Member

    okay, WHO is this BRYAN guy that i keep hearing about?

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