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Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by WhiteRabbit, Apr 24, 2008.
;_; I know...how that...is, Zoot....
Oh my gosh...the best line EVER. "Zoot: That's a problem.
Dr Teeth: One we must probosculate upon." Fantastic.
I totally love seeing these scenes in my head, slightly adjusted, and yet so the same. Love it love it.
Did you know they originally planned to make a movie with these actors every ten years, developing what the characters did in life? Example, them all in a jail cell or something ten years later.
*cuddles Claudia and offers Jareth* <3
Thankses, Beau! O_O WOW! I'd love to see that! XD
Bender: *from the top of a bunkbed in the cell* ...you gonna eat your frozen chili, Claire? =P
BAHAHAHAHAHA! Great stuff, Ailie, great stuff! Keep chugging along!
Gosh I love this! It is hilarious! I can see all of them acting this out so well! Keep bringing us more!
=D Thankses, you guys! I'll probably update again tomorrow. <3
I hope the last scene wasn't too depressing. X_X I know it's a parody but I still wanted to keep in some of the sad moments just to speak to the reader a little more. It's kind of traditional in a muppet story. There's loads of comic relief, without a doubt, but there's also parts that make you think and connect in some way. I hope I did it justice. =)
Up to the date!
Chapter/Scene nine: Sam and Animal are "chatting" in the school basement.
Sam: What did you want to be when you were young?
Animal: JOHN LEN-NON!
Sam: Carl, don't be a goof. I'm trying to make a serious point here. I've been teaching for twenty two years and each year...these kids get more and more arrogant.
Sam: These kids have turned on me...they think I'm a big joke.
Sam: Hey Carl...do you think I give one rat's booty what these kids think of me?
Rizzo's voice: *echoing* HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sam: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night...that when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me...
Animal: NO COUNT ON IT!
Sam: *ponders the statement*
The scene changes to the group of students sitting in a circle in the library.
Dr. Teeth: What would I do fer a million bucks? Hmm...hmmmmmmm...
Floyd: Can we skip him? Please?
Janice: Like, hold on. *to Dr. Teeth* Well, what would you, like, do?
Dr. Teeth: How'm I s'posed to answer?
Janice: The idea is to, like, search your mind for the absolute limit. Like, uh, would you drive to school naked?
Dr. Teeth: Um...uh, would I have to get outta the car?
Dr. Teeth: In the spring or winter?
Janice: It doesn't matter...spring.
Dr. Teeth: In the front of the school or in the back?
Janice: Like, either one.
Dr. Teeth: Yes.
Zoot: I'd do that.
They all stare at him.
Zoot: I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Zoot: I already have anyway. I'm a nymph--
Floyd: *bursts out laughing* You're a nymph? In that case, I'm a leprachaun.
Scooter: I'm an elf.
Janice: I'm a mermaid, fer sure!
Dr. Teeth: I'm votin' on removin' the censors!
Kermit's voice: Sheesh. Nice try.
Zoot: *whispers something to Janice*
Janice: Like, you're disgusting! How dare you!
Zoot: But is it true?
Scooter: Is what true?
Janice: Like, nothing! Mind your own business, okay?
Janice: I'm not a tease! Rully!
Floyd: Yes, you are.
Janice: Shut up!
Scooter: I've got to agree with them, Claire. No hard feelings, I hope?
Janice: LIKE, I'M NOT A TEASE!
The glass on a window breaks.
Zoot: I never drove to school in the buff, actually. I'm a compulsive liar.
Janice: I-wha-- *dizzy* This whole thing is, like, bizarre.
Dr. Teeth: What's bizarre? I mean, we're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hidin' it, that's all.
Janice: Like, how are you bizarre?
Dr. Teeth: Baby, I ooze bizarreness! Why are ya even askin' me?
Janice: Good point.
Dr. Teeth: D'ya guys...uh, know what I did to get in here? I shoved this kid Larry's head down the can.
Scooter: That was you?
Dr. Teeth: Yeah, ya know him?
Scooter: Yeah, I know him...
Dr. Teeth: And the bizarre thing is, is that did it for my old man...I tortured this poor kid, because I wanted him to think that I was cool. He's always goin' off about, ya know, when he was in school...all the wild things he used to do. And I got the feelin' that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right?
Dr. Teeth: Yeah. So, I'm...I'm sittin' in the locker room, and I'm tapin' up my knee. And Larry's a couple lockers down from me. Yeah...he's kinda...he's kinda skinny, weak. And I started thinkin' about my father, and his attitude about weakness. And the next thing I knew, I uh, I jumped on top of him and started wailin' on him...and my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on.
Zoot: Gosh, that's awful.
Dr. Teeth: *weakly* I know. And afterwards, when I was sittin' in Vernon's office, all I could think about was Larry's father. And Larry havin' to go home and...and explain what happened to him. And the hu-humiliation he must've felt. *a tear slides down his face* It must've been unreal...I mean, how d'ya apologize fer something like that? There's no way...it's all because of me and my old man. Oh gawd, I hate him!
Zoot: *lowers his head solemnly*
Dr. Teeth: He's like this...he's like this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore. *imitating his dad* "Andrew, ya've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any losers in this family...your intensity is for crap! Win. Win! WIN!" Ya know, sometimes, I wish my knee would give...and I wouldn't be able to wrestle anymore. And he could forget all about me...
Floyd: *morose* I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling.
Aww, poor Doc. ... *to Ailie* Should you hug him for me, or do I need a permission slip?
ANYway... Nymph. Leprachaun. Elf. Mermaid. Votin' on removin' the-- *laughs* Gotta be one of the funniest moments in the chapter.
I think we learned two lessons in this chapter: Don't make a girl angry, and dads with similar beliefs/personalities should go bowling together. I think there's a third one, but I'm not sure what it is...
Nice of you to finally update this story, Ailie. I can't wait until the next chapter comes out!
I love this still! I like the subtle changes you are making to keep it clean, like shoving Larry down the can instead of taping his you know whats together. And the "I vote we remove the censors" line was hilarious! Great stuff, let's see some more!
XP I'm not that clingy, Cait. *hides the handcuffs*
XD Thanks, Beth! I had to change that part, it would be just too awkward if it stayed the same.
Great new chapter, Ailie! Loved the "censor" line...and the chat between the principal and Carl, ROFL!
*Dreams of the damsel from the deep that Janice would be. *Snapped out of reverie. Huh? There was a chapter posted? Yay! You're showing us more of the characters' pathos... Sam's inner worries about not relating to the kids he teaches, if he teaches them anything... And Dr. Teeth as Andrew. Man, that's heavy Doc. What relevance does the Earth's gravitational weight have to do with... Oh sorry, wrong movie.
Chapter/scene ten: Exterior desert night--wait! What am I saying? They're all still in the library.
Scooter: It's like me, you know, with my grades...like, when I, when I step outside myself kinda, and when I look in at myself you know? And I see me and I don't like what I see, I really don't.
Janice: Like, what's wrong with you? Why don't you like yourself?
Scooter: 'Cause I'm stupid...'cause I'm failing shop. See we had this assignment, to make this ceramic elephant, and um...and we had eight weeks to do it and it was like a lamp, and when you pull the trunk the light was s'posed to go on. *pauses* My light didn't go on, I got an F on it. Never got an F in my life. When I signed up, you know, for the course, I thought I was playing it real smart, 'cause I thought, I'll take shop, it'll be such an easy way to maintain my grade point average...
Floyd: Why'd you think it'd be easy, dude?
Scooter: Have you seen some of the dopes that take shop?
Floyd: I take shop...you must be an idiot.
Scooter: I'm an idiot because I can't make a lamp?
Floyd: No, you're a genius because you can't make a lamp.
Scooter: What do you know about Trigonometry?
Floyd: I could care less about Trigonometry.
Scooter: Bender, did you know without Trigonometry, there'd be no engineering?
Floyd: Without lamps, there'd be no light!
Janice: Like, okay. So neither of you is any better than, like, the other. That doesn't like, mean we don't have any talents.
Zoot: ...I can play the sax.
Scooter: I can make spaghetti.
Janice: *to Dr. Teeth* Like, what can you do?
Dr. Teeth: I can...uh...shove all your heads down the can.
Floyd: I wanna see what Claire can do!
Janice: Like, I can't do anything...
Floyd: Now, everybody can do something...
Janice: Rully, it's too embarassing.
Floyd: Have you ever seen Wild Kingdom? Man, that guy's been doing that show for thirty years...
Janice: Well, okay...but you have to, like, swear you won't laugh. Like, I can't believe I'm doing this...
She takes a tube of lipstick out of her purse and opens it before placing it between her toes. She lifts her foot to her mouth and applies it on easily. When she lifts her head, the lipstick looks perfect. Everyone claps, although Floyd's is low and sarcastic.
Dr. Teeth: All right, great! Where'd ya learn to do that?
Janice: *smiling shyly* Camp, seventh grade...
Floyd: That was great, Claire. My image of you is totally blown.
Dr. Teeth: Hey! Don't ya do that to her when ya swore ya wouldn' laugh!
Floyd: Am I laughing?
Dr. Teeth: Ya jerk!
Floyd: What do you care what I think, anyway, man? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference...I may as well not even exist at this school, remember?
Floyd: *turns to her* And you don't like me anyway!
Janice: Rully, I have just as many feelings as like, you do and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them!
Floyd: You're so pathetic! Don't you ever compare yourself to me! Okay? You got everything and I get squat! School would probably shut down if you didn't show up! "Queenie isn't here!" I like those earrings, Claire.
Janice: Like, shut up...
Floyd: Did you work for the money for those earrings, Claire?
Janice: Shut up!
Floyd: Or did your daddy buy those?
Janice: SHUT UP! *she starts crying*
Floyd: I bet those were a Christmas gift! You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner flippin' year at the old Bender family! I got a carton of milk! The old man grabbed me and said, "HEY! DRINK UP, JOHNNY! IT'S HIGH IN NUTRITION AND YOU WON'T GET BRITTLE BONES!" *stares at his script with a weird expression* So much for showing the audience the hard side of Christmas...darn censors.
Dr. Teeth: Man, are we gonna end up like our parents?
Janice: Not me...ever...rully.
Zoot: It's unavoidable. It just happens.
Janice: What happens?
Zoot: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Floyd: Who cares?
Zoot: ...I care.
Scooter: Um, I was just thinking. I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering, um, what is gonna happen to us on Monday? When we're all together again? I mean, I consider you guys my friends. I'm not wrong, am I?
Dr. Teeth: No.
Scooter: So on Monday...what happens?
Janice: Like, are we still friends, you mean? If we're friends now, that is?
Janice: Like, do you want the truth?
Scooter: *sighs* Lay it on me.
Janice: Like, I don't think so...
Zoot: Well, do you mean all of us or just Bender?
Janice: Like, with all of you...
Dr. Teeth: That's a real nice attitude, Claire.
Janice: Oh, be honest, Andy...if Brian came, like, walking up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do? I mean picture this, you're there with all the sports. Like, I know exactly what you'd do, you'd say hi to him and when he left you'd cut him all up so your friends wouldn't think you rully liked him!
Zoot: What if I came up to you?
Janice: Like, same exact thing!
Floyd: YOU ARE A SNOB!
Janice: Why? 'Cause I'm telling the truth, that makes me a snob?
Floyd: No! 'Cause you know how rotten that is to do to someone! And you don't got the guts to stand up to your friends and tell 'em that you're gonna like who you wanna like!
Janice: Like, you are such a hypocrite! Just shut up!
Floyd: No, man, I won't! And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways at school, you can forget it! 'Cause it's never gonna happen! Just bury your head in the sand...and wait for your stupid prom!
Janice: I HATE YOU!
Floyd: YEAH? GOOD!
Scooter: ...then I assume Allison and I are better people than you guys, right? Us weirdos...
Scooter: Would you do that to me?
Zoot: ...I don't have any friends...
Scooter: Well, if you did?
Zoot: No...I don't think the kind of friends I'd have would mind...
Scooter: I just wanna tell, each of you, that I wouldn't do that...I wouldn't and I will not! 'Cause I think that's plain terrible...
Zoot: It really is.
Janice: Like, your friends wouldn't mind because they look up to us.
Scooter: You're so conceited, Claire. You're so...full of yourself...why are you like that?
Janice: I'm not trying to be like, conceited! I hate it! I hate having to go along with everything my friends say!
Scooter: Well, then why do you do it?
Janice: Like, you're not friends with the same people Andy and I are! You don't understand the pressure that they can put on you!
Scooter: I don't understand what? You think I don't understand pressure, Claire? FORGET YOU! *takes out a super soaker filled with red jelly* Vernon found this in my locker today. That's the reason I got in here. *squirts Janice a couple of times* That's what I think of the popular kids! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THINK! PRESSURE, MY REAR END!
Dr. Teeth: *after getting squirted as well* I like this kid.
Zoot: Right on, man. Without him, I'm the last one picked in dodgeball. He deserves cred.
Scooter: *squirting Floyd* And this is for stealing my lunch money every day!
Zoot: You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing...I didn't have anything better to do.
The scene changes to Scooter putting on a record while the familiar At The Dance music plays.
Janice: *dancing with Floyd* Like, the rolling stones are here--
Scooter: *hurrying back to the others to find Zoot already dancing with Dr. Teeth* No fair! I don't have a partner! *he runs back to the room and flips the record over. Rock music blares throughout the library while the others break apart and start dancing on the bookshelves*
Things look clear in black and white
The living color tends to dye our sight
Just imagine my surprise
When I looked into your eyes and saw
Through your disguise
Floyd: *headbanging on top of a statue*
If we dare expose our hearts
Just to feel the purest parts
That's when strange sensations start to grow
Scooter: *spinning around*
We are not alone
Find out when your cover's blown
There'll be somebody there to break your fall
We are not alone
'Cause when you cut down to the bone
We're really not so different after all
Janice: *ends the song with an unexpected but shredding guitar solo*
Zoot: *dances like he's having a mild seizure and falls to the floor as the scene fades out*
A/N: For those who have never seen The Breakfast Club, watch this scene. It'll give you a better picture of what's happening at the end of this chapter.
*Wants to hug Janice and let her know everything will be all right. *Cheers/applauds for Scooter standing up for himself squirting everybody. *Bashes through wall during musical number... Uh, sorry?
... *pokes Zoot with a stick* Is he sleeping?
Awesome music number Ailie. I enjoyed this whole chapter from the very beginning:
Yup. That line started the laughter...
He he, I love this! I like how you portrayed this very emotional scene from the movie and the emotion is still there but I can't help but giggle at the "Carton of Milk" line. I'm particularly interested in how you're going to write the end of the movie. Can't wait to read more!
Thanks, guys! I'll post the next (and last *sniff*) chapter soon. ^_^
Great update, Ailie! I loved the very opening "desert" line, ROFL! And again the "darn censors" intruding upon the scene, LOL! I look forward to more!
The last chapter ish here... ;_; Hope you enjoy.
Chapter/scene eleven: We see Floyd crawling back to the closet in the heating duct. Then we see the others sitting on a railing in the library.
Janice: Like, Brian?
Janice: Are you gonna, like, write your paper?
Scooter: Yeah, why?
Janice: Well, it's kinda, like, a waste for all of us to write our paper, don't you think?
Scooter: Oh, but that's what Vernon wants us to do...
Janice: True, but I think we'd all kinda say the same thing. Fer sure.
Scooter: You just don't want to write your paper...right?
Janice: Like, true, but you're the smartest, right?
Scooter: *with pride* Oh, well...
Janice: Like, we totally trust you...
Dr. Teeth: Yeah...
Scooter: All right, I'll do it. *smiles*
Janice: Far out! *glances at Zoot* Come on.
Zoot: Where're we going?
Janice: Like, come on.
The scene changes to the pair of them in the bathroom. Janice is brushing Zoot's hair.
Zoot: Ow! Not so hard...
Janice: Like, sorry. *she puts his hat back on and starts applying lipliner onto his mouth* Hold still. Good...you really do look a lot better without your hair covering up everything.
Zoot: I like it that way.
Janice: Rully, this looks a lot better. Look up.
Zoot: Why...why are you being so nice to me?
Janice: *beams* Like 'cause you're letting me.
The scene changes to Floyd back in the closet that Sam locked him in again. Janice opens the door and enters.
Floyd: You lost?
Janice: *stares at him*
Janice: *smiles back sweetly*
The scene changes to Zoot returning to the library, entirely made over. He actually makes a decent looking girl...sort of.
Fozzie's voice: Hubba hubba! Who is that?
Kermit's voice: Oh, boy...
Dr. Teeth: *staring at Zoot in awe* O_O
Zoot: *starts walking over to him when he notices Scooter staring at him with his mouth wide open. He glares at the gofer*
Zoot: *suddenly smiling, which is rare* *whispers* Thanks.
We see Floyd and Janice again. Janice leans in and kisses Floyd on the neck briefly.
Floyd: Why'd you do that?
Janice: Like, 'cause I knew you wouldn't.
Floyd: You know how you said before, how your parents used you to get back at each other...wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?
Janice: Were you rully disgusted about what I did with my lipstick?
Janice: Like, truth.
Floyd: *softly* No.
The scene switches back to the library. We see Scooter lift up the completed essay and kiss it. Then we see Zoot and Dr. Teeth staring at each other.
Dr. Teeth: What happened to ya?
Zoot: Why? Claire did it! What's wrong?
Dr. Teeth: Nothin's wrong. It's just so different...I can see yer face.
Zoot: Is that good or bad?
Dr. Teeth: *smiling* It's good!
The scene changes to the five students walking down the hall. Animal is attempting to sweep. The infamous Simple Minds song has begun to play again.
Animal: *to Scooter* BYE BYE BRIAN!
Scooter: See ya Carl.
Floyd: *to Animal* See ya next Saturday?
Animal: YA YA! YOU BET!
The scene changes to the parking lot outside. Scooter gets into his dad's car which is driven by Anthony Michael Hall and they leave.
Dr. Teeth and Zoot embrace and then Zoot leans in slowly. Dr. Teeth reluctantly leans in as well. Zoot rips a patch off Dr. Teeth's varsity jacket and walks away, smiling. Emilio Estevez's car arrives and Dr. Teeth leaves with him, looking a little embarassed.
We see Janice take out one of her earrings and places it in Floyd's hand. They kiss and then Janice gets into a car driven by Molly Ringwald and leaves. Floyd inserts Janice's earring into his own ear.
The scene changes to Sam back in the library. He picks up Scooter's essay and starts to read it.
Scooter's voice: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us...in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.
The scene changes one last time to Floyd walking towards us as the monologue continues.
Scooter's voice: But what we found is that each one of us is a brain...
Dr. Teeth's voice: ...and an athlete...
Zoot's voice: ...and a basket case...
Janice's voice: ...like, a princess...
Floyd's voice: ...and a criminal.
Scooter's voice: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.
We see Floyd walking across the football field as he thrusts his fist into the air. It freezes there and the scene fades out, the song starting up again.
All: Hey, hey, hey ,hey
Floyd: Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Dr. Teeth: Love's strange, so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby
All: Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me
Floyd: Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down
Janice: Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down
All: Hey, hey, hey, hey
Floyd: Don't you try to pretend
It's my feeling we'll win in the end
I won't harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security
Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I'll put us back together at heart, baby
All: Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me
Floyd: As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away
All: Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on - call my name
Will you all my name?
I say :
La...la la la...la la la...la la la la la la la la...la... *the chorus echoes and the song fades out*
Miss Piggy's voice: I WILL BE CLAIRE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!
Floyd's voice: Man, my arm is tired!
Aww and it's the end. Nice job, I could really see each of them stepping into these characters quite well. I really liked it. Thanks for writing it!
Separate names with a comma.