Down... *sigh*

[Vibs]

Hi All...

... I don't really know why I'm posting this thread but I am. It's just, I feel so down right now and it's mainly because of my parents again. But also... um...:

Tonight I slept over at my "neighbor" (She lives 3 houses away)'s place. And I wasn't sure if I really wanted to but I did. The thing is, it feels like I'm losing her and I really don't want to. We've been friends since I was 7 and she was 5 and back there we were together almost everyday. But then we kinda grew up and now we are developing personalities and it just feels like we are heading in two different directions. And that makes me sad. Also because it's not only me and her, I know her entire family and they know me, so I've always been "A part of that family" - which brings me to another thing. They do know the thing about my parents and divorce and it's just like they keep looking at me, thinking "Poor girl, oh we are so sorry for her!!!!!!!". Of course it's nice that people care about you, but I don't want those "POOOOOOOR thing!!" eyes. I don't want people to think of me as a little poor thing. Not all the time anyway... Then this morning we were having breakfast (The entire family, dad, mum, my friend, her little sister, the dog, the hens, the ducks, the fish, the guinea pig - and me (get the picture?)) and suddenly her father asked me if I wanted to come with them to Italy - For a week!! And I was like... wow... I mean... I.... wow! And it sure is Wow! And you may think I'm crazy but... I'm not sure if I want to go. Because one, I have so many things on my mind with my mum's new place and all and two, I think I'll just feel like a foundling, the poor kid that has been adopted into The Happy Family. And I don't wanna be that poor kid, I don't wanna be a foundling - because I'm really not. I have a family and a good one, maybe my parents are not together but they still are my family. Boy, I never thought I'd be the one to say that I used to be the "I have no family anymore Whaaahaaaaaa!" one. Hmm... Well. So I'm just confused right now.

That's more or less it. Thank you all for listening. I know it's not the biggest problems in the world, but it feels good typing it down and away.

~Vibs.

 

[Beauregard]

Vibsy, sis!!!

Hi All...

... I don't really know why I'm posting this thread but I am. It's just, I feel so down right now and it's mainly because of my parents again. But also... um...:

Um just about sums it up. And Um is exactly the kind of feeling that is hardest to cope with, it's just, like, you feel...well...Rada Slarty is the best description of it. I know that feeling, but to a lesser extent, of course.

Well...I don't, that is, I'm not sure what to say to the rest of this post. But you do have to remeber that the, "Poor kid" attitude, is the way that They are doing Their best to help you. They don't realize perhaps that it hurts you more to treat you different than before, maybe they are afraid of hurting you by maybe saying or doing something that will upset you.

Drifting away is...sad, but, something that happens to all of us. My sister was my best friend in the whole world...then she moved away, and I ever even speak to her except "how are you" type phone calls...

People like you, and Christy, and Dee and MC people are, that is, I know more about them and their dreams and lives than I do about my own sister...that's drifiting away. But that is, perhaps, best...

Wish i could give some advice as to the Italy thing, but I'm not sure what to say...so...I'll catch you on MSN soon and we'll talk properly.

Remeber, we are always here to listen.

Beau{Bro}regard

 

[theprawncracker]

VIBS!!!! OH I'm sorry! I hope everything will work out fine... And don't worry if you need to, I'm always here for you to cover in dirt. That way someone else feels like dirt to! (((HUGS)))

Ryan
theprawncracker

 

[Docnzhoss]

Sorry about your plight, Vibs. The only thing that comes to mind is this: if you and your friend are drifting apart, there's two ways the Italy trip could work out (if you decided to go). One, you two could reestablish the strong bonds you once shared and come home with a rekindled friendship. Two, your differences could really come through in Italy and it may wind up being an uncomfortable experience.

I once was invited to go to Orlando with a friend and his family. It was pretty fun, but I felt restricted because I was the guest and I felt that I had no input. Besides that, when we got back that friend suddenly resented me for my family's inability to include him in a family trip we had been planning (financially and otherwise. We took a road trip to Colorado). We just didn't have the money or the space to include an extra person. When I got back, I found myself ostracized by not only that friend, but all my friends because we hung out in the same circle. That was all in middle school and I became the neighborhood outcast for the remaining years of our youth.

That was basically just a long way of saying that if you feel you and your friend are in danger of parting ways, maybe you should just let it before someone's feelings get hurt. Not that I know everything or feel I have all the answers, I'd just hate to see you get hurt the same way I did, Vibs.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Hm... two friends that used to be really close and are now starting to drift seperate ways... why does that sound familiar... oh, I know why. I've done it myself. There was one girl my mom used to baby sit who was my best friend from the moment I met her (when I was about two months old and she was a new born baby... um...) and we were pretty darn close for years and years. And you know what? I haven't talked to her in years. Same thing with my cousin and I. We live about seven hours apart, but whenever we visited each other we were inseperable. In the past couple of years, not so much. The thing is, we've been at very different points in our lives. It might not seem like it sometimes, but there's a HUGE difference between seventh grade and the first year of highschool. So we've basically drifted apart as well. And it stinks, and I can't tell you how many times I sit and think "wouldn't it be great if we still talked all night instead of sleeping?" But things change, and you just sort of have to keep going.

I don't know what to tell you about those "poor thing" eyes, but if you don't want a whole week of them, I wouldn't suggest going to Italy. It could be a lot of fun, but keep everything in mind. If the whole time you're there you're going to be wishing the "poor thing" eyes would go away and feeling like a foundling and thinking about a thousand other things... that doesn't sound like an enjoyable trip. If you don't want to go, just tell them you have a lot on your mind. They'll understand. And if you do want to go, then go! Happy traveling! It's your choice entirely.

And I'm glad to see that you still have a good family. That's a positive attitude right there, Vibs, that'll get you far.

 

[MrsPepper]

I along with many others, I'm sure, can understand the drifting apart thing. ^_^ You could tell your friend that you're thankful that she's just the same friend as she's always been and that it's helping you out alot. Kind of underhanded, but it will encourage her to just be the same buddy you've always had, and maybe she won't think of you as the Poor Thing girl after that.
About the trip, well that's really generous. but as Docnzhoss said, it might end up pushing you further apart, if you two are already rubbing each other the wrong way. You can be very thankful that they've invited you along, but you oughtta really sit down and think that one through before you accept.

 

[Vibs]

Thanks. All of you. Your advices really help me along. There are so many things I want to say (Type...um... say.... saype?) but it's already too late and I really have to go to bed. - Have been at my mum's new place (Which is really really nice) all day putting some furniture together and stuff. Anyway, thanks again all of you!! You are the best!

I'm always here for you to cover in dirt. That way someone else feels like dirt to!

That is so sweet and yet so funny! Don't worry I'll let you know if I need to cover you with dirt!

 

[Vic Romano]

The drifting apart thing... It's a sad thing Vibsy, I so know how you feel. It's empty, lonely and discouraging. But it's a wonderful development in life. At 16, I GUARANTEE you will have more and more friends come and go in your life, and while they may never be as special as the friend you're losing now, you have a lifetime of relationships ahead of you to look forward to.

Losing a freind because you grow apart is sad, but trust me, it is such a healthy developmental part of life, it means you're becoming YOU! And respectively, your friend is becoming her self as well. Becoming you is a life long process, and the more you understand what you like, what you want... the even more amazing of a person you become. Look how adored you are here at MC, it's nausiating! So if you already have that kinda' personality already, imagine what these tough life experiences are gonna' do for you, they're going to make you that even more extra special person.

This is the tale we call life, it's a learning process unfortunately. But here's what I say about the trip. If this truly is the growing process where Vibs becomes herself and your friend becomes her own person as well (once again, a sad but truly unbelievable healthy slice of life) and the once great friendship is coming to a close of a spectacular chapter... end it with a friggin' bang. Go to Italy, make that one last hurrah, make this an experience where when you're eighty and surrounded by heaps of loving friends and family (most of whom you've yet the honor of even meeting), you can recall all of your wonderful relationships, but how special your best child hood friend was. Don't be concerned with being a poor girl, that illusion will fade soon enough (heck, I'd milk it if I were you!), but show everyone how alive you are and how important the life you live is to you. You're gonna' be just fine, girl... just you wait and see.

 

[Vibs]

Vic, that's so.... wise! And true - thank you.
Nice having old(er) people to help you and guide you through, when you are really confused and don't really know what to do. - Wow!! I swear that wasn't supposed to be a poem! Sounded like one though... Anyway! You are right. But I think I'm gonna stay home after all - Right now I have so many things on my mind with parents, mum's new place and stuff. *sigh*

Thank you all again for helping!

 

[Ziffel]

Hiya Vibs. Yes what Vic said , as well as others, is right on target. Don't have anything to add except to say keep hanging in there and know that lots of good things are on your way too in the midst of the cruddy stuff. Strike a compromise, and get the most enjoyment you can.

- from an old(er) MCer. In my case, maybe the parenthetical er qualifier is not warranted!