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Dr. Tooth's TMS outline featuring Weird Al!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Drtooth, Nov 4, 2002.

  1. Drtooth

    Drtooth Well-Known Member

    Dr. Tooth's TMS outline featuring Weird AL!!!!

    Just wanted to try my hand at it!

    Special Guest Star, "Weird Al" Yankovic

    Backstage cold opening: Scooter comes in and announces "one minute to curtain," looks at Weird Al, and says, "You’re Weird Al Yankovic?"
    Weird Al: Yeah! I know, I have changed my look and some people don’t recognise me! I feel I look more mature this way!
    Scooter: Yeah! Just like a 20 year old....uh...are you 20?
    (Weird Al looks into the camera while we cut away to: )
    Kermit the Frog: It’s the Muppet Show, with special guest star "Weird al Yankovic"
    Opening theme song: At the end, Gonzo, as tribute to Weird Al, plays the accordian which sounds like a trumpet, and then explodes

    Opening Number,: Weird Al, along with Gonzo, Floyd and Janice (plus some whatnots) sing "Another one Rides the bus, Al on Accordian, Janice on Guitar, Floyd on Bass, and Gonzo on a bottle of cleaning fluid and a harmonica that doesn’t work! As the song progresses, the bus gets more and more crowded, and the Music is harder to play (large monsters finally take up the last bit as the song ends)
    Waldorf: One word pops into my mind when I think of Public Transportation!
    Statler: What’s that?
    Waldorf: TAXI!!!

    Skit: Swedish Chef tries to make Sushi. An aquarium with a fish in it is in the forground. The Chef reaches in to pull him out, the fish squirts and says"I’d like to see you try" and runs off. Undaunted, the Chef procedes to cook Rice, and puts a whole box in a small pot. The rice swells and then over takes the entire stage.

    Muppet News Flash: Reporter: The Uncle Boffo foods corp is recalling their latest batch of instant Rice. Apparently, they were mislabeled, and packed with their experimental extra expando-rice. (the Swedish Chef runs in scared, and a tidal wave of Rice, engulfs the newsroom!

    Song: Johnny Fiama sings, nochalantly, "Everybody eats when they come to my house." Sal is the waiter, carrying large trays of food. Large monsters, Mainly Beautiful Day, Luncheon counter Monster and Sweetums charge at him and greedily grab plates off his tray, causing him to trip every time. The song ends abruptly, as huge tidal waves of rice engulf the stage.

    Statler: No body eats when They come to my house!
    Waldorf: Of course not! All you serve is Prunes and Bran Flakes!
    Statler (protesting) And Dates!!!!

    Back stage: Kermit, Gonzo and Scooter talk to Weird Al, asking him what songs he will perform. They all request their favorites, and Weird Al calmly protests.
    Weird Al: Yeah, those are all great songs, but I want to perform a more serious closing Number! Something no one will laugh at!
    Gonzo: Try something from your Polka Party Album!
    Scooter: Al, you’re needed in wardrobe. The Veternarian’s Hospital Sketch is on in five.
    Weird AL: Five seconds?!?! To change into a hospital gown?
    Gonzo tells him "Don’t worry! I can help you!" and shortly pulls him under, behind the desk, he re-immerges in a hospital gown.
    Weird AL: How do you do that?
    Gonzo: Time for you’re sketch....tell you later...if I can remmeber!

    Veteranarians Hospital: Nurse Janice, Piggy, and Dr. Bob operate on Weird Al.
    Nurse Janice: Well, Dr. Bob! You’re a rilly uptight guy! No matter how many times you try, you always lose your patients!
    Dr. Bob: Especially with a joke like that! Send in the next vict...uh..patient!
    Piggy: and his next of Kin!
    Discovering the patient is Weird AL, they all shout, and belt out "Like a Sergeon!" Dr. Bob, tells Weird Al (during the second verse) to join in, Weird Al protests again, and angrily says, "No! This sketch is over" and leaves the scene
    Dr. Bob says into the camera, "That’s usually the reaction most people get after being on this show!

    Skit: Fozzie Bear and Lew Zeland as a customer and Waiter respectively, tell "Waiter, there’s a Fly in my soup" jokes, until (again) a tidal wavew of Rice engulfs the stage!

    Waldorf: And they say that Carbs are bad for you (both laugh)

    Backstage: Kermit tells Beauraguard to clean off the stage for the next act, Bo is thrilled because he can use his new shovel.
    Kermit: I wondered why we hire him [Swedish Chef]as a Chef, anyway?
    Bo: We didn’t hire him as a chef.
    Kermit: What did we hire him for then?
    The lights suddenly go out, Kermit sadly mumbles a "Shesh"

    Skit: Weird Al, as Fred Huggins, allong with Papa Booli and Baby Booli, join Elmo in a song. Elmo doesn’t get to pick the song, and Fred starts singing annoying, babyish tunes with reactions from the Booli’s. Elmo tries to keep his cool, and can’t take it anymore and scream,s Angrilly, "STOP IT! KNOCK IT OFF!! ELMO CAN’T STAND IT NO MORE!!! The scene gets silent. Elmo looks embaarassed.
    Elmo: No Elmo lost all his credability! Elmo thanks you for nothing!

    Waldorf: Nice to know, even HE has his limits!
    Statler: Can’t blamie him

    UK skit, Rowlf the Dog, with the help of three cats in sunglasses singthe obscure Beatles song Three Cool Cats, in which the cats try to get romantically involved in three cool chicks (Chickens in sunglasses), unsuccessfully when the chicks throw anvils and such at them.

    Statler: You know, the Beatles when to India shortly after this.
    Waldorf: With a song like that, it’s no wonder!

    Closing Number, Weird Al gets his wish and does a serious song, accompanied by the Electric Mayheim. They sing the Led Zepplin hit, "Stairway to Heaven" Unfortunately, Al lapses into a parody of the song called "Stairmaster for Kevin!"

    There’s a lady in red,
    With a fat guy stuck in bed,
    So she’s buying a stairmaster for Kevin

    He needs to work on his thighs,
    Cause they’re ten times her size
    She got it for less then $26.11

    The song stops, and he says he can’t do it, he has "Satire in his Blood"
    Waldorf: Get a transfusion! Dwoah ho ho!
    Weird Al starts again, and the song gets worse, and he starts Shouting "NO!! I’ll never get this right! Never Never!" (he bangs his head on his accordian)

    Janice: Like I didn’t know Don Music was on this show!

    Dr; Teeth: It appaers to the good Doctor, that you might have a problem singing this song. I’ll vocalize the lyrics, while you pound out those lilting notes!

    It goes without a hitch, except the music slowly gets quicker tempo and more up beat! It turns into polka, and the Electric Mayheim are weirding the Bavarian garb from MTM

    The song Comes to a sort of "Shave and a Hair cut florish, ending with

    And she’s buy-uy-ing a stair way to..
    Stairway to heaven, Stair Way to heaven, Stairway to Heaven

    (Florish, the song is over)

    Statler: That was the best polka I’ve ever heard
    Waldorf: You must HAAAATE polka!

    Onstage Weird Al appologizes to Kermit, and Led Zeplin. Kermit comforts him by saying that it was the least crazy thing they’ve ever done on the show.
    Weird Al: Yeah, but still, I wish that something would cut through this embarassing scene!

    Another tidal wave of rice floods the stage.

    End Credits

    Staler: That’s it! I can’t take it! Nothing is going to keep me in this seat any longer.
    Another wave of rice comes up from behind them, flooding the balcony!

    The End
  2. Daffyfan4ever

    Daffyfan4ever Well-Known Member


    That's good. Did you reuse the "lose your patients" joke from the Rita Moreno episode or did you think that up on your own?
  3. Drtooth

    Drtooth Well-Known Member

    I haven't seen the Rita Morena episode, so I kinda made it up on my own. Problem is, I didn't know that Count VonCount did one with the same guest star! I wrote this one a while back, after the second Travelling Matt TMS outline, and I've been working on it ever since. It was supposed to be posted Friday, but the computers crashed and I didn't have a chance until yesterday.
  4. Daffyfan4ever

    Daffyfan4ever Well-Known Member


    I see. To be honest, I haven't seen the Rita Moreno episode either, but I read the transcript of the Vet's Hospital sketch in "The Muppet Show" book. I figured out which ep was from in the episode guide, which SHOULD HAVE been updated by now as SOMEBODY promised would update it by the end of last month. Again, just kidding. Take your time.
  5. Salmoto

    Salmoto Well-Known Member

    It's a nice skit and all, but next time, leave stairway alone....I got enough stairway defacers to whack already. Speaking of which, I have to buy a new louisville slugger, I used up my last one trying to let the air out of Dolly's tires.
  6. GWGumby

    GWGumby Well-Known Member

    That was great! I'm not usually one who involved myself in fan fiction, but I had to see how you'd treat Weird Al. I think he'd definitely make a classic guest for the Muppet Show.
  7. Drtooth

    Drtooth Well-Known Member

    You misunderstand. Weird Al was trying to sing the real version, you see, and instinctively belted out satire lyrics. He chose that song because he wanted to do a serious ballad, and it just came out wrong.

    So before you grab that bat, let me say one thing...

  8. Salmoto

    Salmoto Well-Known Member

    Sheesh, Tooth, always gotta ruin my fun.....

    Oh well....

  9. minor muppetz

    minor muppetz Well-Known Member

    I just found this thread and thought it was good. I just made a muppets tonight outline with weird al yankovic.

    By giving rizzo a line that comments on stuff from weird als polka party album not making people laugh, do you actually think the albums not funny, or are you refferring to the fact that the album didn't sell well? I liked Polka party, though.

    Even i this was a real episode, I don't think the Stairway To Heaven closing number would be used. I have read that the writer of the song never licenses that song.

  10. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Well-Known Member

    My favorite parts were the Newsflash, the closing comment, the S&W comment after the Johnny Fiama number, and Nurse Piggy's "next of kin" interjection- very in keeping with TMS.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

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