This is for people who weren't able to attend any of the Puppet Up! shows, or weren't able to see the show on TBS that night, so be warned, this contains heavy spoilers, and at some points I may quote whole scenes, so if you don't wish to read this, then don't. Anyway, Puppet Up! Uncensored was taped during a comedy festival in Southern California back in November of 2006; the show was hosted by gay improv comedian Patrick Bristow who has made guest appearances on such shows as Whose Line Is It Anyway?, and Seinfeld. The Muppet performers for the night included a few well-known favorites, and some newbies; the performers were Julianne Buescher, Tyler Bunch, Brian Henson, Drew Massey, Ted Michaels, Paul Rugg (of Steven Spielberg's animation fame), Allan Trautman, and Victor Yerrid. This show was rated TV-MA L The show opens up with the puppeteers walking out on stage with performing various puppets who break out into a theme song that goes something like this... CHORUS- Puppet up! Puppet up! Puppet up, puppet up, puppet up! KOALA- It's time to do some improv, you help us make it up; So give us your suggestions, and then we puppet up! CHORUS- Puppet up! (Whoo!) Puppet up! (Yehaw!) FERRET- We don't know what we're doing, we like to mix it up; BIG-NOSED PUPPET- But we're puppets and we're not too smart, we often **** it up! CHORUS- **** it up! **** it up! (Although thios show is uncensored, they still bleeped out the f-word). FISH- We live in cardboard boxes, at night they pack us up; (I can't can't hear the next line too clearly) Chorus: Puppet up! Puppet up! Puppet up, puppet up, puppet up! BOAR- Hey what's the deal with all these *******' puppets? PUPPY- It's crazy that you have such big-*** teeth! CHORUS- Ooooo-oooo-ooooo... BOAR- Do these things have souls? PUPPY- Or just big stinky hole? BOAR- And who's this sexy ******* underneath? (Referring to Julianne) CHORUS- Undernea-ea-ea-ea-ea-th... PUPPY- 1! 2! 3! CHORUS- Puppet up! Puppet up! (Puppet up!) ANOTHER FERRET- This song has gone on way too long, it's time to wrap it up! SQUIRREL- So here we go, we're finishing... FERRET- We hope you're all still listening... SQUIRREL- Our foreheads are expliciting... FERRET- Turn off the air conditioning... SQUIRREL- Our service is deminishing... FERRET- We're desperately wishin'ning... BOTH: To find the final rhyme to start this show-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow.... BIG-NOSED PUPPET- Are you two finished? FERRET- (Kisses the big-nosed man) BOTH- Yeah! BIG-NOSED PUPPET- Good, it's.. CHORUS- Time to puppet uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup-uh-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup-uh-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup-uh-uuuuuuuuuup! PUPPET UP! In the theme, the Koala puppet was performered by Paul Rugg, the first ferret was performed by Ted Michaels, the big-nosed puppet was performed by Brian Henson, the fish was performed by Tyler Bunch, the puppy was performed by Julianne Buescher, the boar was performed by Victor Yerrid, the second ferret was performed by Allan Trautman, and the squirrel was performed by Drew Massey (I swear this guy sounds like David Rudman!). Why should you know this? Because Brian Henson (as the puppet he currently is performing) instructs the other puppeteers to reveal the puppets they'll be working with for the night. After that, he introduces host Patrick Bristow who then walks out and explains how the show will work: PATRICK: Every sketch you see tonight is completely improvised with no planning whatsoever, I'll be coming to you periodically for suggestions so have those ready, and if I don't take your suggestion, it's because we've already used and we will NOT repeat ourselves; we are REALLY, REALLY pure about that. Patrick then explains that the puppeteers use the monitors to help frame the puppets their performing for a sketch, and they do NOT contain lines, jokes, or written material on them. ********************************** In the first sketch Patrick has Julianne and Victor Puppet Up, and askes for a foreign country. He gets Germany and Nicaragua, but Nicaragua wins by applause, so he goes with that. Then he askes for a topic for Julianne and Victor to give a lecture on and he gets the classic "where do babies come from?". So Julianne plays a spanish-speaking ferret who gives a lecture on babies because apparently "nobody knows more about making babies than the Nicaraguans" said Victor's armadillo puppet (formerly Joe the Armadillo on the behind-the-scenes featurette on the Kermit's Swamp Years DVD). That line alone got a big laugh from everyone! Victor translates Julianne's lecture to the boyscouts on the subject: babies are precious gifts you pluck out of the sky, but sometimes they smell like **** and you throw them away; so you pick another one out of the Baby Tree and lick it so see how it tastes. You put it down by your shoe and juggle it to see how durable it is, while singing a song to it and help it fall asleep; and finally you find a rich guy to pay off the bills and you've just made a baby! ********************************** For the next sketch, Patrick calls Paul and Brian to puppet up while he askes for a minor offense in which he gets j-walking, public urination, and walking into the handicapped-stall, he goes with the latter because they had apparently done the other two before. Then he askes for a celebrity for Paul and Brian to witness walking into the handicapped-stall and he gets George Michael. So Paul and Brian play two old-timers who share their story about spending a night in Central Park at 4:00 A.M. walking and touching each other (just a little) when suddenly needed to go to the bathroom when they heard and saw a sound that went like this: "you gotta have faith-faith-faith! You gotta have faith-faith-faith!" With that they realized that George Michael was in the handicapped-stall... but IS he handicapped? Well that's what Paul askes, when George replies with "I'm sorry what was that?", so Brian tells him they want to know if he's handicapped, and he replies with "I COULD be". With that Brian says "well then, put you're leg out and we'll break it!". Thus ending that sketch, and part one of D'Snowth's Puppet Up! Uncensored Recap.