Elmo's World: Homestar Runner

[minor muppetz]

(the regular Elmo's World opening begins)
Elmo: La la, la la, la la, la la, Elmo's World. La la la la, la la, la la, Elmo's World. Elmo loves his goldfish, his crayons too! That's Elmo's World. Hi, this is -- da da da da! -- Elmo's World. Elmo is very happy to see you today. And so is Dorthy. Say hello, Dorthy. Guess what Elmo is thinking about today?
(Elmo opens the door, and Homestar Runner is seen dancing)
Singers: Everybody! Everybody!
Homestar Runer: (joinning in) Everybody! Everybody! La da dee da! Everybody!
Elmo: (shutting the door) Heh heh heh. Homestar Runner. You know, Homestar Runner!
(a clip montage of various Homestar Runner cartoons are show)
Elmo: And now, Elmo has a question for..... You! How does The Poopsmith scoop poop.. (grimaces) Huh? (looking at off-screen camera man) Did Oscar pick that question? Ewwww..... Let's ask Mr. Noodle. Open up, shade!
(the shade opens, and Mr. Noodle is seen, standing in front of a pile of poop)
Elmo: Mr. Noodle, how does the poopsmith scoop poop?
(Mr. Noodle scratches his head for a second, then he runs and jumps into the pile of poop)
Kids: No!
Kid #1: We said scoop, not jump.
Elmo: Yeah!
(Mr. Noodle slaps his head and smiles)
Kid #1: Get something to scoop that poop with.
(Mr. Noodle goes off-screen)
Kid #2: I wonder what he's going to get.
(Mr. Noodle comes back with an ice cream scooper, and starts scooping the poop)
Kids: No!
Kid #2: You have to get a shovel.
Elmo: That's an ice cream scoop, Mr. Noodle.
(Mr. Noodle thriows the ice scream scooper and goes off-camera, this time bringing a shovel
Kid #2: That's it, Mr. Noodle.
Kid #1: Now scoop it up!
(Mr. Noodle starts scooping)
Elmo: You did it, Mr. Noodle! Just like the Poopsmith!

Elmo: Now let's ask kids how The Poopsmith scoops poop!
Kid #1: I don't go anywhere near poop. I have allergies.
Kid #2: Ewww, I ain't gonna scoop up that!
Elmo: Oh, well. Let's ask a baby. (Elmo walks up to a baby, who has a pile of poop on her high chair and a toy shovel) How do you scoop up poop?
(the baby starts playing with the poop and throws it away, laughing)
Elmo: (laughing) Thank you, Baby! (starts to kiss the baby, but then stops himself) Ew! On secodn thoguht, Elmo will give you a raincheck.

To be continued...

 

[Beakerfan]

Oh man.. that was so.... I dunno what word I'm looking for. Gross? Twisted? I dunno. I'll come back to that....

 

[minor muppetz]

Part 2

Elmo: And now, Elmo has a question fooooooor you! How many fluffy puff marshmellows will Homestar eat. Let's count.
(Homestar Runer appears with a bag of Fluffy Puff Marshmellows)
Elmo and Kids: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! NIne! Ten! Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen!
Elmo: Thirteen marshellows!
Homestar Runner: Thirteen is an unluckey nubmer. (drops bag on the flor and runs away)
Computer: Elmo has mail! Elmo has mail! Elmo has mail!
Elmo: Oh, Elmo has E-mail! (clicks his mouse; Strong Bad appears on-screen)
Strong Bad: Hello, Elmo, I am here to answer the e-mail I sent you last week, entitled "What would "Strong Bad's World" be like", and to answer your question, it would be like this...
(screen fades to "Strong Bad's World")
Strong Bad: (singing off-key) Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah, Strong Bad's World! Strong Bad hates his mother-in-law, his spinach, too! Thaaaaaaat's Strong Bad's World! Hello, Strong Bad is very unhappy to see you, and so is The Cheat!
(The Cheat is seen inside a fishbowl, speaking Cheat)
Strong Bad: Guess what Strong Bad is thinking about today? (opens the door, String Sad is seen)
Strong Sad: Hello. I am very honored to be on such a show.
(Strong Bad punches Strong Sad in the face)
Strong Bad: Beating the crap out of Strong Sad! You know, beating the crap out of Strong Sad!
(a montage of clips where Strong Bad hurts Strong Sad are shown)
(a close-up of The Cheat in his bowl is shown, with The Cheat having a torn-up doll of Strong Sad)
Strong Bad: Well, that's all the time I have, so let's sing the Strong Sad Sucks song!
(Homsar sticks his head out of a trash can)
Homsar: Derrrrrrr... I love trash, I love trash... (picks up Rubber Duckie) Ruber Duckie, you really squeak...
(Strong Bad kicks the trash can, sending Homsar away)
Strong Bad: Now, let's play! (gets out guitar) Strong Sad sucks, Strong Sad sucks, Strong Sad really sicks! Strong Sad sucks, Strong Sad sucks, nobody can stand Strong Sad!
(scene fades abck to Strong Bad at his desk)
Strong Sad: So until next time, I am the best! Oh, yeah, and Elmo... (angrily) STOP SENDING ME E-MAILS THAT ASK HOW i CAN TYPE WITH MY ! BOXING GLOVES ON, WHAT i LOOK LIKE WITHOUT MY MASK, WHAT i LOOK LIKE WITHOUT MY GLOVES ON, WHAT MY PARENTS LOOK LIKE, OR IF I SAY PLEASE!
Elmo: Oh, wow! He's just like Oscar. And now, here's another question. Who is like a Homestar Runer character, and who is not?
(a picture of George Washington is shown)
Elmo: Is George Washington like a HOmestar Runer character?
Kids: No!
Elmo: But his face is on the dollar bill!
(a picture of a rhinocerous is shown)
Elmo: I sa rhinocerous like a Homestar Runer character?
Kids: Yes!
Kid #1: Strong Sad resembles a rhino.
Elmo: Is Oscar the Grouch like a Homestar Runner character?
Kids: Yes.
Kid #1: He's a lot like Strong Bad.
Oscar: I am not like Strong Bad! Hmmm, but I would like to meet The Poopsmith.

To be continued...

 

[minor muppetz]

Elmo: You know, Homestar Runner's friend Marzipan is a vegetarian, and she told Elmo all about it.
(cut to all-animated sequence)
Marzipan: (narrarating, as she is seen) Helo. I am Marzipan. I am a vegetarian. Vegetarians don't eat aything made from animals. Today, I am going to make a salad. I get out my bowl, and put in some lettuce. And then I put in some olives, some celery, some carrots, and some beats into the salad.
(Strong Bad suddenly appears)
Strong Bad: Ew! What a gross salad!
Marzipan: (not narrarating) Speak for yourself!
Strong Mad: (Bad salad! Bad salad!
(The Cheat complains to Marzipan)
Strong Bad: That's right! We've got to put in better ingredients! We've got to put in... (The Cheat puts in the ingredients as Strong Bad says what needs to be put in) Doughnuts, cookies, ice cream, shredded cheese, gummy worms, fluffy puff marshmellows...
Marzipan: But that's not healthy!
Strong Bad: (ignoring Marzipan) We'd better put in some soda as well. And that makes a perfect salad! (hands itt o Marzipan)
Marzipan: Ewww! I think I've just lost my appetite... (walks away)
(Strong Bad throws the salad at Marzipan)
Marzipan: (narrarating) So vegetarians do not eat foods made from animals, nor do we eat anything disgusting, like what Strong Bad just made for me. (sighs)
(The King of Town suddenly appears)
King of Town: Hey, may I have a bite of your salad?

Elmo: Now, how can Elmo learn more about Homestar Runner?
(The TV runs into the room)
Elmo: That's right! We can watch "The Homestar Runner Chanel"! But Homestar Runner only appears online. His creators would never let him appear on television.
(The TV makes a nervous reaction)
(Frazzle runs into the room)
Frazzle: (speaking gibberish)
Elmo: You say you just talked with The Cheat and Pom-Pom, and you three talekd the creators into approving such a channel?
Frazzle: (speakign gibberish)
Elmo: Then let's watch! (turns on the TV)

TV Announcer: It's The Homestar Runner Chanel! All Homestar Runner, all the time! Tonight, "The Origins of Homestar Runner".
(scene changes to a cartoon, with animated versions of the shows creators)
TV Announcer: It all began when The Brothers Chap created their own character for their own enjoyment. They wrote a book, "The Homestar Runner", which they only printed 10 copies.
(all ten copies are shown, with numbers appearing around them)
TV Announcer: Eventually, they learned how to animate, and created a website, www.homestarrunner.com, starring The Homestar Runner, now just called Homestar Runner, and the rest is history. Stay tuned for Strong Bad's Slayhouse and How The Cheat Met Your Mother! That's Homestar, folks!

 

[minor muppetz]

Elmo: Now, how can Elmo learn more about Homestar Runner and his friends? Elmo knows! Elmo can talk to Homestar Runner's friends!
(a knock is heard. Elmo answers the door. Pom Pom is at the door)
Pom Pom: (speaking Pom Pom's language)
Elmo: Oh, yeah, Elmo did say he'd like to talk to some of Homestar's friends!
(Marzipan and Strong Sad appear)
Marzipan: We'd like to talk to you, too!
Strong Sad: Yeah, I've had a very bad day. It all began when I was eating at Bubs', and then all of a sudden a bird tried to attack me, and I went to the hospital, and then all of a sudden...
Elmo: Oh, Strong Sad! How long have you been standing there?
Strong Sad: Approximately 20 seconds. Anyway, I went to Bubs', I had some snacks, and then...
Elmo: (yawning) Oh, even Elmo is annoyed.
(Coach Z appears)
Coach Z: Hey, can yoo tell me how to git, how to git to Susame Struut?
Elmo: What?
Pom Pom: (speaking his language)
Elmo: Oh, he means Sesame Street. Turns his head, seeing Dorthy with a thought balloon) Oh, Dorthy's imagining Elmo as Homestar Runner!
(an Elmo-like Homestar Runner appears)
Elmo-Homestar Runner: Hello! Homestar likes Fluffy Puff Marshmellows! Homestar hates that freaking marshmellow!
(an Elmo-like Marzipan and Strogn Bad appear)
Elmo-Marzipan: Hello, Homestar.
Elmo-Strong Bad: What the crap are you doing?
Elmo-Homestar Runner: Oh, hello! Homestar is tired of your faces!
(an Elmo-like Homsar appears)
Elmo-Homsar: Duhhhh, Homsar's a song from the sixties!
Elmo-Strong Bad: What song, Rubber Duckie? (makes an evil laugh)
(back to Elmo's World)
Elmo: Well, all of the Homestar Runner characters are here.
Bubs: That's right!
Homsar: You the mouse, blue man!
Strong Bad: Let's just get this over with.
Elmo: Even Homestar Runner is here.
Homestar Runner: Yes, I am. I am finally on my favorite TV show.
Strong Bad: I lied! This isn't Wheel of Fortune.
Homestar Runner: Then what show is this?
Elmo: Anyway, it's tiem to sing The Homestar Runner Song! (goes to piano and starts playing) Homestar Runner, homestar runner, Homestar Runner... Everybody!
All: (except Strong Bad) Homestar Runner, Homestar Runner....
Strong Bad: Strong Bad, Strong Bad, Strooong bad!
All: Homestar Runner, Homestar Runner...
Strong Bad: Strong Bad, Strong Bad, Strong Baaaaad!
Elmo: Well, goodbye, everybody! Oh, wait! I've never noticed this piano key before. (touches key. A Strong Bad Doll appears) What is this?
Homestar Runner: It's a Tickle Me Strong Bad.
Elmo: Oh... (hugs toy)
Tickle Me Strong Bad: Hey, get your crappy hands off me!

 

[minor muppetz]

Oh man.. that was so.... I dunno what word I'm looking for. Gross? Twisted? I dunno. I'll come back to that....

It's twisted (assuming you mean that as a compliment, and not an insult). And it's proof that Sesame Street and Homestar Runner don't mix.

I've had this idea for a year, but have procrastinated on writing it until I saw the new Muppet Show outline featuring Homestar Runner as a guest. That motivated me into writing this.

 

[minor muppetz]

I didn't make note of this in my script, but Dorthy ahd a small Homestar Runner PVC in her golfish bowl.

And hopefully I don't have to describe what the Elmo variations on Homestar Runner and his friends look like. Let's just say that they all look like the characters, with Elmo's red fur.

 

[Beakerfan]

It's twisted (assuming you mean that as a compliment, and not an insult). And it's proof that Sesame Street and Homestar Runner don't mix.

I've had this idea for a year, but have procrastinated on writing it until I saw the new Muppet Show outline featuring Homestar Runner as a guest. That motivated me into writing this.

Yes it was meant as a compliment, but I'm still at a loss for words! They definetlt don't mix....