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Fake news article about SS being scary for kids!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by wiley207, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. wiley207

    wiley207 Well-Known Member

    OK, I don't know what I was thinking when I came up with this... :insatiable:

    By Alan Smithers


    Recent members of the S.N.U.H. Parents’ group have been picketing outside the offices of Children’s Television Workshop in New York City, after having sent several complaint letters to the company, reporting that their flagship show, Sesame Street, contains material that has been deemed too scary for their children.

    The protest began earlier this year, but the actions began to cumulate as early as 1994.

    “I’m not letting my son watch the show anymore,” Mrs. Mitello, a mother of three, reported, “not since those ‘Wet Paint’ and ‘Healthy Food’ music videos terrified him.”

    The ‘Healthy Food’ segment, dating back to 1987, features longtime Sesame Street Muppet star, Cookie Monster, rapping about healthier food choices in a parody of Run D.M.C.’s “Walk This Way.” ‘Wet Paint,’ having been seen on the show since 1984, parodies MTV music videos of the time explaining about paints, performed by the Muppet band “How Now Brown and the Moo Wave” amidst a background of paint splatters.

    “’Sesame Street’ seemed like a fun little show at first,” Mrs. SeVille explained, “something to keep the twins occupied and get them to learn, until they began showing those ‘Mysterious Theater’ segments, now they’re too scared to watch the show!”

    The ‘Mysterious Theater’ segments parody the popular PBS anthology series “Mystery!” complete with eerie animated opening and being hosted by Vincent Twice, a Muppet parody of former “Mystery!” host the late Vincent Price.

    Mrs. Mitello also reports that her older daughter, who grew up with the show in the early 1990s, was also frightened by Placido Flamingo, a Muppet flamingo that was a parody of Placido Domingo, that would teach young kids about opera. Placido Flamingo was retired from the show earlier this decade, when his performer Richard Hunt passed away in 1992.

    Ms. Gallanto complained about one ‘Sesame Street’ segment showing Ernie and Bert in an ancient Egyptian pyramid scaring her two children to the point of them having nightmares.

    “I think ‘Sesame Street’ may be messing up our current generation,” Mr. Albertson said. “My little girl and her younger brother used to be fine, until they saw the Count [on “Sesame Street”] and all of a sudden they began eating garlic and they even made crosses!”

    Count von Count, having been on the show since 1972, is a Muppet vampire with an obsession for counting and math. Though he does not drink blood, attack people or turn into a bat, he does show some vampire traits such as summoning thunder and lightning (when he laughs after counting), and showing no reflection in a mirror.

    One infamous segment involving the Count was one from the 1970s when he sleeps over at Ernie and Bert’s apartment. Ernie suggests that the Count should count sheep to get to sleep, but then regrets it; the Count stays up all night counting sheep, rendering Ernie a counting zombie-like version of Ernie the next morning (complete with bloodshot eyes and droning “43,991… 43,992…” etc.)

    So far, there has been no known action from Children’s Television Workshop about these problems.

    It isn’t just Muppet segments that are scaring the younger ones. Another father reported that the live-action segments featuring Fay Raye and Wegman’s other Weimaraner dogs, which have them superimposed onto live actors, giving them the appearance of anthropomorphic dogs with human hands, scared his son.

    And another mother said that an animated segment teaching about crossing the street safely terrified her daughters to the point where they wouldn’t go near the sidewalk. The segment depicted cars and trucks with monstrous faces and with a creepy narrator saying not to “cross the street… ALONE.”

    “We’re very concerned about this,” Mr. Hoover said. “’Sesame Street’ is meant to educate our kids, not terrify them. How can we help get our kids prepared for school, when the show instead sends them crying for their mommies?”

    Another parent in the group, Mrs. Read, recommended “Big Bag,” another CTW-produced show that airs on Turner’s cable channel Cartoon Network, as a safer alternative to “Sesame Street.” “When we began to do away with ‘Sesame Street’ after it gave our sons recurring nightmares, we managed to find that ‘Big Bag’ was a much safer, cleaner alternative. It teaches sharing, honesty, cooperation and other useful life lessons for our children, and entertains them in the process!”

    Unlike “Sesame Street,” which airs every weekday on PBS, “Big Bag” only airs twice a week on Cartoon Network, and not everyone has access to the channel. It is also done in a different format; rather than “Sesame Street’s” classic, unpredictable format which involves the main story broken into several parts, sandwiched by random Muppet segments, cartoons and short films, “Big Bag” is more repetitive; it does feature a story broken into several parts, but in between each part is a single cartoon short, often coming from different parts of the world, presenting an episode related to the hour-long program’s episode theme. Currently the show incorporates six short series in its program.

    “I wanted to switch my son over to Barney,” Mrs. Mitello said, “but I’m afraid it will just brainwash him. And he’s not too old for ‘Arthur’ yet, either.”

    -© 1997 the National Requirer
  2. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    Lol, that's funny. :insatiable:
  3. miss kermie

    miss kermie Well-Known Member

    I don't see how anyone would be afraid of a red adorable monster,:laugh: a big friendly bird,:wisdom: or the boogeyman!

    Wait, forget that last one.:p
  4. Muppet fan 123

    Muppet fan 123 Well-Known Member

    I was sort of scared of the Count growing up.
    But now he's one of my favorite characters
    DramaQueenMokey likes this.
  5. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    I was scared of things that weren't intended to be scary, like that claymation chair that kept bumping into things. I ran out of the room every time it came on and had nightmares about it, lol.
  6. Bannanasketch

    Bannanasketch Well-Known Member

    I had a nightmare about Grover when I was young. Yeah, it kind of stoopped my love for sesame street for a little while.
  7. DramaQueenMokey

    DramaQueenMokey Well-Known Member

    When I was a little girl, I was scared of almost everything: the dark, Cookie Monster, the Count, you name it! I even have a home movie of me meeting Cookie Monster as an infant and crying like crazy the second after seeing him.

    But, other than Count and Cookie I wasn't scared of the others! I found them comforting and welcoming and once I was about 2 or 3 I wasn't scared of Count or Cookie anymore :insatiable:

    (especially since my abuela convinced me Kermit would protect me :D )
    WereFox, Luke kun and Muppet fan 123 like this.
  8. WereFox

    WereFox Well-Known Member

    About that zombie Ernie segment...THAT was scary! :eek: What would ye do if the Ernie zombie came into your room at night?
    Luke kun and MikaelaMuppet like this.
  9. Flaky Pudding

    Flaky Pudding Well-Known Member

    Is Alan Smithers related to this guy?
    MikaelaMuppet likes this.
  10. Luke kun

    Luke kun Well-Known Member

    That segment always reminded me of Ren & Stimpy.

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