(This'll be the last chapter tonight, but it's about long enough to cover for 2 chapters
)
Muppet High Chapter 13:
(We see a young Muppet Newsman sitting at a desk)
Newsman: Good evening, my name is M. Newsman, and this is a Grosse High School newsflash! My co-anchor Lewis Kazagger is live at the big senior dance tonight, we now take you there.
(Cut to young Lewis Kazagger standing outside the high school on a red carpet surrounded on both sides by a rope fence and a large crowd of people...)
Lewis: Thank you M. I'm here live from Grosse High, where the seniors are starting to arive! Oh here's the first seniors! (The Electric Mayhem bus pulls up and the band gets off; minus Janice; all wearing tuxedos) It's The Electric Mayhem band! Tonight's entertainment! Here comes bass guitarist Floyd Pepper, saxophonist Zoot, the drummer Animal, and the founder/keyboardist Dr.Teeth! But wait, where's there lead guitarist, Janice? Oh wait, here she comes now! She's sporting a long pink dress and a... is that... a wrist brace?!? I now take you live to Janice the lead guitarist with a sprained wrist! Excuse me Ms. Janice may I have a word?
Janice: Like fer surely!
Lewis: Ms. Janice, can you tell us how you sprained your wrist?
Janice: Um, I, like...
(Enter...)
Rowlf: Sorry, sorry, no questions please.
Lewis: Wait! Wait! Oh, well, let's try and get an audience with Floyd Pepper. Shall we? Mr. Pepper, Mr. Pepper, a moment please!
Floyd: Sure man, anything for a fan!
Lewis: Well, can you tell us who will be replacing Janice, your lead guitarist?
Floyd: Sure man, we got a good friend of ours, green stuff himself, Kermit the Frog!
(Kermit walks of the bus in a tux and carrying his banjo)
Lewis: So you replaced her with a total unknown?
Floyd: Yep, but not to worry, he's great! Sorry man, I've gotta go set up!
Lewis: You just heard it here folks, Janice the Electric Mayhem's lead guitarist has been replaced with a frog with a banjo! (A station wagon pulls up) It looks like more geusts are starting to arive! (Fozzie; wearing a tux; and his Ma; wearing a long blue dress; exit the car) It's Fozzie Bear, class clown! And he's got a date! Let's go find out who it is shall we? Excuse me Mr. Bear can I have a word?
Fozzie: Ahh, of course! Just don't misquote me.
Lewis: So, who's your date?
Fozzie: Oh, that's my Ma, Emily Bear!
Lewis: You brought your mother?
Mrs.Bear: You bet your bottom dollar honey! I wouldn't let my Fozzie-Wozzie get near another woman!
Lewis: Uh huh... Well, enjoy the dance.
Fozzie: Ahh, thank you!
(A large green tractor pulls up with Gonzo at the wheel also wearing a tux)
Lewis: My my, what an odd choice of mobility, it must be Gonzo! The weirdo! He's brought a date named Camilla, she's said to be a fox! Let's see if we can get a word with her! Mr. Gonzo, Mr. Gonzo, a word please!
Gonzo: Hey! I'm on TV! Hi... um... who do I say hi to? Everyone I know is here...
Lewis: Mr. Gonzo, can we have a word with your date?
Gonzo: Sure! Honey, come down from there and talk to the press!
(Camilla hops down from the tractor)
Lewis: Your date is a chicken?
Gonzo: Well duh! What else is there? Come on honey let's get inside.
Lewis: What a weird high school...(A red corvette pulls up with Sal at the wheel, and Johnny and his Ma in the back seat) It's Johnny Fiama! And his gentlemen's monkey Sal! This is a real treat, we have to have a word with them! (Johnny, Sal, and Johnny's Ma exit the car) Excuse me Mr. Fiama! Your date is lovely.
Johnny: Everyone loves Johnny's Ma. Right Ma?
Ma: That's-a right dear!
Lewis: Well Johnny, we've already seen Fozzie Bear and his mother here tonight, any comment on this?
Johnny: Yeah, he must of heard I was bringin' my Ma, and once Johnny does it, everyone does. So, they got canolis here or what?
Sal: If Johnny Fiama wants canolis, you better have canolis! You got it?!?
Lewis: Yeah! But I'm not the one you need to talk to about that, why don't you head on inside?
Johny: Sounds good. Out of the way.
Sal: When Johnny Fiama wants you out of the way you better move! Got it?!?
Lewis: Got it! (A small remote control car drives up and Rizzo, Yolanda, and Pepe exit the car) It's the rats! Both literaly and non-literaly!
Rizzo: Hey guys! We can get on TV!
Pepe: Look out Ritzo, de camera loves Pepe. Hokay?
Lewis: Well, since there's no one more interesting to talk to, Rizzo, I see you brought a date!
Rizzo: Yeah her name's Yolanda. Look at that crazy body!
Lewis: Yeah. What about you Mr.Shrimp?
Pepe: First of all, I am not a shrimp, I'm a king prawn! Hokay? And my date will be here shortly. Hokay? She had another engagement. Hokay?
(A long black limosene pulls up)
Lewis: Oh my gosh! Not only is it someone much more interesting than you losers, it's the high school's owner, J.P. Grosse! I don't know if I can maintain my composure! The doors are opening, and here he comes ladies and gentleman, Mr. J.P...(Scooter exits the limo, shuts the door and it pulls away)
You're not J.P. Grosse.
Scooter: No, I'm his nephew, Scooter.
Lewis: Well, where is he?
Scooter: He couldn't make it tonight, something about some down payments on an old theater or something.
Lewis: That's dissapointing.
Scooter: Yeah, well, see ya!
(he leaves and a school bus pulls up)
Lewis: Oh no! That must be the chaperones! Everybody run!
(The crowd leaves, and Sam Eagle, Sweetums, Lew, Pops, Statler, and Waldorf exit the bus)
Sam: What a very dissapointing turn out to such a wonderfully American oriented event!
Sweetums: Don't fret Big Bird, their probably just outside.
Lew: Then let's go in!
Statler: Do we really have to?
Waldorf: I wish we didn't. I'd rather watch some third rate variety show with these kids in it than chaperone this dance!
Statler: I don't even want to think about that!
(They go inside)
Lewis: They're gone!
(The crowd returns as a long pink limosene pulls up)
Lewis: I can't believe it! They're here! The jocks and the cheerleaders! The most popular kids in the school!
(Clifford, Link, Annie Sue, and Piggy exit the limo)
Lewis: It's Clifford! He's brought Annie Sue Pig! And Link Hogthrob who brought Miss Piggy!
Piggy: Hello! Oh, I'm so glad all of moi's fans could be here tonight! Kissy kissy!
Link: Come on dear let's go inside.
Piggy: That's Piggy to you bub!
Clifford: Come on Annie, let's get inside where the partie's at!
Annie: Sounds great honey!
(They go inside)
Lewis: Well folks, that about wraps it up here at Grosse High! Now back to you M.!
(Shift back to the News room)
Newsman: Well, you've seen it here folks! The exclusive coverage of The Grosse High School Senior Dance! And now, the exclusive coverage of me with a high school! What, that doesn't even make...
(A large building falls on top of the Newsman)
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Back to the Rock Season 2
Sesame Street Season 54
The Muppets Mayhem premieres
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
{regard}
