Fan Fic: The Muppets 55th Anniversary Planning Special

[minor muppetz]

Enjoy this fan fic, in which the Muppets make plans for a 55th anniversary special (sort of like the Studio DC specials, only better).

(A "The Muppets 55th Anniversary Planning Special" appears before the show begins. The show takes palce in an editiing studio, where the Muppets plan on making the special, as chaos goes on in the studio)

{characters seen in editing room during opening scene: Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Rizzo, Pepe, Scooter, Nigel (the director), Eugene, Bubba the Rat, some generic rats, some penguins, Zippety Zap, Mo Frackler, Lindbergh, and Carl}

Kermit: (talking over the chaos) Okay, everybody, we've got to start planning our upcoming 55th anniversary special.
All: Right!
Kermit: We've got to pick and choose the best clips to include.
Pepe: Oh, how surprising, okay!
Kermit: Uh, what do you mean?
Pepe: An anniversary special with the ebst clips, okay.
Rizzo: Yeah, what a way to celebrate. Clips everybody has seen millions of times.
(many of the other Muppets talk in aggreement)
Fozzie: But it wouldn't be an anniversary special without clips.
(the others talk in agreement)
(Bunsen and Beaker enter the editing room with a big machine)
Bunsen: Well, Beaker and I have compiled some clips and music for an opening clip montage.
Kermit: Oh, good.
Bunsen: Start the montage, Beaker!
Beaker: Mee meep!
(Beaker presses a button on the machine, but he gets sucked in. He's heard screaming, and the machine shakes, but then Beaker gets shot out)

Kermit: Oh, that's too bad.
Bunsen: Not really. The montage is starting.
Kermit: Oh.

[The clip montage begins, playing over an instrumental version of The Muppet Show theme]

Clips Include:

• Kermit at the start of "We're Not Gonna Stop" {The Muppets at WDW}
• The Muppets all come out of an "elevador" door in "Togetehr Again" {MTM}
• A shot of the orchestra performing "How High the Moon" {TMS: Roger Moore}
• A shot of the Muppets cheering in the screenign room {TMM}
• a few shots of the Muppets cheering {Muppets: Celebration of 30 Years}
• A few shots of the Muppets in the carolign medley {MFC}
• The Muppets cheering at the wedding {MTM}
• The Muppets at the end of "Hey a Movie!" {The Muppets Go to the Movies}
• The Muppets pose for a picture at the end of Happiness Hotel {GMC}
• Kermit and Ashley Tisdale dance in "Bop to the Top" {Studio DC: Dylan and Cole Spouse}
• Clifford and Paula Abdul dance in "Opposites Attract" {MT: Paula Abdul}
• Gonzo's arms and legs get stretched {MTI}
• Gonzo's arms and legs get stretched by Lynn Redgrave {TMS: Lynn Redgrave}
• Gonzo's legs get stretched by John Cleese {TMS: John Cleese}
• Gonzo and a dancing cheese {TMS: Steve Martin}
• The Muppets Tonight band plays {MT: Billy Crystal}
• Kermit rides a bicycle {Muppets Valentine}
• Rowlf plays the piano in "You and I and George" {TMS: Juliet Prowse}
• Bunsen and Beaker react to the fireproof paper and flammable washhose effects {TMS: Leslie Uggam}
• Miss Piggy and the penguisn appear {Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson}
• Heaps hit each other {Sex and Violence}
• Beanbo {JHH: Dog City}
• George and Mildred dance {TMS, any At the Dance clip}
• Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Rizzo, a nd Pepe hang onto a plane {LtS}
• The Muppets cheer after Nicky Holiday is defeated {GMC}

Kermit: Yup, that sure is a good montage.
Bunsen: Thank you.
Fozzie: So now what other clips should we include?
Kermit: Well, I think we should just start at the beginning.
Pepe: Even after that long clip montaage?
Kermit: Well, we should show how I started out. I began my career on a washington, D.C. show called Sam and Friends.

(a clip from That Old Black Magic is shown, while the other Muppets give voice-overs)
Pepe: So who's that, okay?
Kermit: That's Sam.
Pepe: And why are you in drag, okay?
Kermit: I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just say that's one of the thigns I had to do to get started in show buisness. And incidently, didn't you dress on drag in some of your earleist appearances?
Pepe: I do not know what you are talking about, okay?
Fozzie: Oh, I do. Here are soem clips.
Pepe: NO!

(screen flips, showing Seymour and Pepe's Miss Piggy impersonations fromt eh Muppets Tonight epsidoe with Whoopi Goldberg, followed by Pepe in atutut from Muppets From Space)

Pepe: How embarrassing, okay!
(Rowlf enters the room)
Rowlf: But if we are going to be talkign about our earleist works, we should point out that I was the first big star.
Kermit: Oh, that's right.
Rowlf: I got my start in Purina Dog Chow commercials, and the became a bigger star on The Jimmy Dean Show!

Clips include:

• Rowlf likes purina dog chow while Bakserville likes asparagus {Purina Dog Chow}
• Jimmy Dean has Rowlf act in a scene with Lassie {Jimmy Dean Show}

Kermit: Our oldest works are both interestign and embarrassing.
Rizzo: But soon we made it big.
Fozzie: That's right!
Gonzo: And we've got the clips to prove it!

Clips Include:

• Gene Kelly gives Kermit a dance lesson {TMS: Gene Kelly}
• Kermit and Miss Piggy sing "The First Time It Happens" {GMC}
• Fozzie performs comedy for the Country Bears {Muppets at WDW}
• Gonzo's piano balancing act {TMS: Kris Kristofferson and Rita Coolidge}
• Seymour and Pepe sing their theme song {MT: Sandra Bullock}
• "Don't Blame the Dynamite" {TMS: Dom Deluise}
• Pigs in Space: low suppies {TMS: Teressa Brewer}
• Johnny Fiama's Pasta Playhouse {MT: Cameo Show}
• Muppet Labs: exercise-o-matic boots {JHH: Health and Fitness}
• Two Lost Souls {TMS: John Cleese}
• Scooter observes The Swedish Chef playing with popcorn {MTM}
• Sam's speech on nudity {TMS: Nancy Walker}
• The Varsity Drag {TMS: Steve Martin}
• Simon Smith and His Amazing Dancing Bear{TMS: Juliet Prowse}

Scooter: Those sure were great moments.
Kermit: Yes, but we've also got to focus on thsoe Muppets who didn't make it big.

Clips include:

• The Raggmopp {TMS: Lena Horne}
• Seinfeld Babies {MT: Sandra Bullock}
• Carl the Big, Mean Bagpipe Eater {MT: John Goodman}
• Bird Walk {TMS: James Coburn}
• Shouting Lady complaisn to her dance partner that her record albums haven't sold {TMS: Ben Vereen}
• Hurting Something: Lawyer in Bathtub {JHH: THe Ratings Game}
• Wayne and Wanda: Some Enchanted Evening {TMS: Avery Schriever}
• "Who" wth Zelda Rose and her singing owl {TMS: Milton Berle}

We'll be back soon...

 

[minor muppetz]

And now, here is some more of the special.

(Miss Piggy enters the editing room)
Miss Piggy: Well, while you should all represent everybody, I think that Moi should get the most attention.
(the others, excluding kermit, talk in disagreement)
Kermit: Well, you deserve representation..
Miss Piggy: Moi knows.
Kermit: But you aren't more important than the rest of us.
Miss Piggy: WHAT?
Kermit: (nervously) Uh, uh, that is, uh, cue the Miss Piggy montage!

Clips include:

• What Now My Love? {TMS: Candice Bergin}
• Miss Piggy calls Kermit from a photo session {MFC}
• Miss Piggy chases a man who steals her purse {MTM}
• The Witch is in the House {MWoO}
• Miss Piggy does an informercial {MT: Michelle Pheiffer}
• When Harry Met Sally screen test {MT: Billy Crystal}
• Miss Piggy says she'll go get apizza, while Kermit says he'll stay and wash the dishes {Kermit and Piggy Story}
• Miss Piggy wants the mayor to make a line go faster {LtS}
• Mad About the Frog {TMS: Leslie Uggam}
• Miss Piggy and Annie Sue order items in the canteen {TMS: Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge}
• Pigs in Space: Link informs Piggy that they'll need to jettison her {TMS: Jaye P. Morgan}
• Veterinarian's Hospital: the audience chants "WE WANT PIGGY!" {TMS: Dom Deluise}
• Piggy and Dudley Moore sing Our Love is Here to Stay {Miss Piggy's Hollywood}
• Ukelelee Lady {TMS: Lou Rawls}

Miss Piggy: What great clips. I hope Moi is represented the most.
Fozzie: Yeah, that was great, I guess. But I hope that you remember to include my best comedy routine.
Kermit: You mean...?
Fozzie: Of course!

(the "Good grief! The comedian's a bear!" act is performed {TMS: Harvey Korman})

(everybody talks over each other with suggestions)
Kermit: (shouting) ONE AT A TIME!
(everybody stops)
Kermit: Thank you. You know, I want to include everythign just as much as you all do, but we have a limited amount of show time, and there are two of my clips that are most important to include.

Clips include:

• Bein' Green {TMS: Pete rUstinov}
• The Rainbow Connection {TMM}

We'll be back.

 

[minor muppetz]

And now we're back.

Kermit: Okay, we've gotten early clips ready...
Miss Piggy: And you've got clips with moi ready.
Bean Bunny: Don't forget to add in some cute clips.
Pepe: Oh, brother....

Clips include:

• Bean-ercise {JHH: Health and Fitness}
• Robin sings "Sleep Sweetums" {The Frog Prince}
• "I'm in Love with a Big Blue Frog" {TMS: Paul Williams}

Pepe: Those clips are so cute I think I'm gonna get sick, okay.
Bean: Well, some of us liked them.

(Dr. Teeth, Floyd, Animal, Janice, and Zoot all enter)

Dr. Teeth: Well, how's the show going along?
Kermit: Uh, we're still just editing, Dr. Teeth.
Dr. Teeth: Far out!
Floyd: But don't forget to include the greatest Muppet rock and roll moments of all time.
Janice: Fer sure!
Animal: ROCK AND ROLL! ROCK AND ROLL!
Kermit: Right, right. We haven't compiled those clips yet.
Zoot: Well, compile them now.
Janice: Yeah, now.
Animal: NOW! NOW!
Kermit: (nervous) uh... Okay, here is some rock and roll!

Clips include:

• Tenderly {TMS: Avery Scrieber}
• The Music Just Keeps Us Rolling Along {JHH: Musicians}
• I Get Around {TMS: Ann Murray}
• Yakity Yak {TMS: Tony Randall}
• Night Life {GMC}
• With a Little Help From My Friends {TMS: Lynda Carter}
• Maneater {JHH: Aquatic Life}
• Mr. Bassman {TMS: Mummenshaz}
• Mack the Knife {TMS: Leslie Ann Warren}
• Blue Suede Shoes {MCT}
• G.N.O. (Girls' Night Out) {Studio DC: Dylan & Cole Spouse}
• She Drives Me Crazy {She Drives Me Crazy music video}
• Hound Dog {TMS: Dyan Cannon}
• Don't Go Breaking My Heart {TMS: Elton John}
• School's Out {TMS: Alice Cooper}

Floyd: Thanks a lot, man!
Janice: Fer sure! Now, let's all go to the snakc bar.
Animal: SNACK BAR! SNACK BAR!
Kermit: See you all later.
Gonzo: you know, we should also showcase my favorite moments.
Kermit: Uh, Gonzo, I don't know how to put this....
Gonzo: That's okay. I already compiled the clips.
Kermit: WHAT?

Clips include:

• Gonzo eats a tire {TMS: Juliet Prowse}
• Hat {TMS: Roger Miller}
• The Seven Deadly Sins Pageant {Sex and Violence}
• Kermit fast-forwards Gonzo {JHH: Musicians}
• Lady of Spain {TMS: Rita Moreno}
• Aliens invade "On Her Doorstep Last Night" {TMS: Jonathan Winters}
• Muppet News: Mallard-itis {TMS: Lou Rawls}
• Swedish Chef: spring chickens {TMS: Melissa Manchester}
• The dancing cheeses {MT: Michelle Pheiffer}
• Muppet Sports: Wig Racing {TMS: Marissa Berensen}
• Trudge Trudge Steaka Steaka {TMS: Ann Murray}
• Hugga Wugga {TMS: Phyllis Diller}
• Mahna Mahna {TMS: Juliet Prowse}

Kermit: Hmm, how could we have an anniversary show without "Mahna Mahna"
(Snowths suddenly pop up)
Snowths: Doo-doo doo doo doo
Kermit: OUT! OUT! GET OUT OF HERE, YOU SNOWTHS!
(The Snowths run out)
Pepe: You know what kind soof clips we really need to showcase, okay?
Fozzie: The funniest clips, right?
Pepe: Wrong, okay!
Scooter: Well, do you mean clips where we all appear togetehr?
Pepe: No, okay.
Rizzo: Oh, you probably mean clips that are infested with rats.
Pepe: Wrong again.
Miss Piggy: Well, surley, you want more clips with moi.
Pepe: No, and don't call me Shirley, okay.
Scooter: Then what clips do you want to showcase?
Gonzo: Yeah!
Pepe: I wanna showcase the sexiest clips, okay!

Clips include:

• Baby It's Me {TMS: Raquel Welch}
• Fever {TMS: Rita Moreno}
• He's the Greatest Dancer {TMS: Lola Falona}
• Beaker wishes for a supermodel girlfriend {LtS}
• Last Dance {TMS: Leslie Ann Warren}

Pepe: Heh heh heh, what great moments, okay!
Rizzo: Yeah, I agree.
Miss Piggy: But none of those women are any match for moi.
(the others nervously look around)

(Sam the Eagle enters)
Sam: Kermit! Have you included any great, american moments from the Muppets?
Kermit: Uh, not yet, Sam.
Sam: Then don't dilly-dally! Hop to it!
Kermit: Uh, yes, sure.

Clips include:

• Stars and Stripes Forever! {Virmup}
• Yankee Doodle Dandy {TMS: Hal Linden}
• Muppets founding fathers sketch {I Love Liberty}
• Kermit promotes the state quarters {U.S. Mint commercial}
• Great Moments in Elvis History: The Declaration of Independence {MT: Michelle Pheiffer}
• When the Saints Come Marching In {TMS: Hal Linden}
• America {TMM}

Still more to come!

 

[minor muppetz]

And now, here is the final act of the special.

(Statler and Waldorf are sitting on a bench outside, reading a newspaper)
Statler: Well, it looks like the Muppets are working on a 55th anniversary special.
Waldorf: Well, I don't want to watch this special, but there is something I do want.
Statler: What's that?
Waldorf: Residuals for all the clips I appear in.
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)

(back in the controll room, various Muppets are now getting tired)

Kermit: Well, we've gotten a lot of clips ready, but I think we should showcase a few more.
Fozzie: (yawns) No more for me, thanks, I'm hibernating.
Gonzo: You know, these clip montages might become more exciting if if we play them lit on fire.
(Bobo enters with a cart of coffee and doughnuts)
Bobo: Well, I tought I'd bring you all some coffee and doughnuts.
(everybody talks over eahc other in excitement)
Miss Piggy: Moi could use some coffee right now.
Zippety Zap: Me, too.
Bean: I don't like coffee.
Scooter: Well, we can all have a little snack.
Rowlf: Do you have any purina?
(Kermit takes a sip of the coffee... then smoke comes out of his "ears", and Kermit screams)
Pepe: Hmm, we might need more sugar, okay.
Kermit: Augh! Who made this coffee?
Bobo: The Swedish Chef made it.
Rizzo: Figures.
(Carl eats the entire cart)
Fozzie: Well, maybe it's for the better.
Scooter: Well, we've got to complete our compilin gof clips, and here are some that I've chosen.

Clips include:

• The Kermit the Frog Club theme song {MT: Cindy Crawford}
• Doglion ruins things in the park {TMS: Madeline Kahn}
• (Jump) for my Love {JHH: Health and Fitness}
• Turn the World Around {TMS: Harry Belafonte}
• Kermit learns that Fleet Scribbler is interviewing The Swedish Chef {TMS: George Burns}
• Captain Smollet (Kermit) demands to know who hired the crew {MTI}
• Jim Henson shows P.J. how to skip a stone {Neat Stuff}
• Fozzie, P.J., and Kai-Lee sing "Hey, You're as Funny as Fozzie Bear" {Hey, You're as Funny as Fozzie Bear}
• Levar B urton encounters Kermit at the library {Reading Rainbow}
• Leon informs Cliff Huxtable that he'll need to buy an elevador pass {The Cosby Show}
• Halfway Down the Stairs {TMS: Harvey Korman}
• Real Live Girl {Muppets Valentine}
• Take 'Em Away {Rocky Mountain Holiday}
• Fozzie captures an octopus {TMS: Jonathan Winters}
• Six String Orchestra {TMS: Star Wars Cast}
• The Twelve Days of Christmas (starting with Kermit's verse) {A Christmas Together}
• The Christmas Wish {A Christmas Together}
• Everyone Matters {VMC}
• Bless Us All {MCC}
• I Believe in Santa Claus {Macy's 2008 Parade}
• The Best Christmas Yet {LtS}

Pepe: Wow, ending th eshow with christmas songs, okay.
Rizzo: And it's not even christmas.
Kermit: (looking at camera) Look, we know you are watchin gus. See, this isn't even a planning special at all. It's the real special.
Miss Piggy: And now it's time for the big finale.
Kermit: Hit it!
(music starts playing, and the cast starts singing "Hey, a Movie!" The cast walks forward, revealing the editing room to actually be a set, while The Electric Mayhem performing as well. This is followed by a clip from Henson's Place, where Jim Henson talks about continuing the Muppets a slong as the audience wants more of them)

The End.

*Note: I might post the song lyrics later in script form, showing how it's arranged, but if I don't, then in my mind, the sequence features everybody who was already mentioned as appearing in new footage, except for Statler and Waldorf, and also includes several chickens, Clifford, Leon, Johnny Fiama, Sal, Lips, Beauregard, The Swedish Chef, Lew Zealand, George, Mildred, Howard Tubman, Carter, and Chip)

 

[GSmiley2007]

Great work!

I wonder what the 60th Anniversary fan-fic's gonna be like...