Fan-Fiction: The Muppets' Mid-Age Crisis

Muppetfan44

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hooray! an update! I have definitely been missing fan fiction in the past few weeks. I hope everyone posts updates soon! I love that Rowlf is the bartender and now part of the story. Perfect tie-in to "Simon Smith". Keep up the great work and I encourage all fan-fic writers to update soon.



*after my big appellate brief assignment is turned in; I'm starting my Calendar Girl series i've been wanting to write, but until then.. :cry:I need new updates.."Amazon? Moi? Kermie's Girl, Change of Heart, Together Again,a Muppet fan-fiction... i am begging for new updates to all these great stories and all the others soon!:cry:
 

The Count

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Def looking forward to your Calendar Girl series... Just hope it's erm, readable. *Nervous smilie.
 

Muppetfan44

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haha, oh it will. I'm really excited because I have the first three Miss Piggy Calendars from 80-82 and all of the pics and comments are great. I hope to post pics to go along with the stories, but until my huge writing assignment is done sometime in March, i definitely won't have time to write it; all the more reason to anxiously await updates from all the awesome fanfic writers!

Please update soon everyone!
 

The Count

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Yes... Got some thoughts for the models of my own, but it keeps playing out into unsure doubts within the grander schemes of the castle's counted cast. Looking forward to your Calendar series as maybe that'll give me some inspiration for mine. Also, dunno if it's all of Ru's ushgush and from others, but I find at times wanting a rully good/dirty romance story. Heh, oh well.

*Leaves muffins for Prawny, no, not the ones with the award winner's name in an envelope the Swedish Chef made last year. :zany:
 

The Count

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*Fires photon torpedo at Mr. Weirdo, er Prawn. Post more story soon-ish!
 

theprawncracker

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Chapter 9

Having successfully been given a tour of the castle and those who reside in it (and having done so while the omniscient narrator was coincidentally grabbing a bite to eat from Maroni’s Macaroni Emporium—highly recommended. You know—the place down on Third Street? I met a really cute waitress there once, we talked, I left her my phone number… but unfortunately she thought it was the tip. I knew I should’ve never started writing commas instead of hyphens when I write phone numbers. It’s dangerous, I tell ya!), Robin the Nephew of Kermit the Brave and Valiant Knight and Sweetums the Captain of the Guard made their respective ways into the throne room.

“Gee, Sweetums,” Robin said cutely, “thanks so much for showin’ me around the castle! I didn’t realize it was so big!”

Sweetums nodded his shaggy head. “Yup, the Princess’s servants need a lot of room,” the monster guard said.

“Why’s that?” Robin asked curiously.

“So they can hide from the Princess, of course!” Sweetums said with a chuckle.

The large door across the throne room from where Robin and Sweetums were talking pushed open loudly. Sweetums gulped. “Speakin’ of hiding,” he said, “ya better get behind me, little buddy!”

“Why?” Robin asked.

“The rest of the castle doesn’t exactly know you’re here… so for now it’s just a good idea if you stay hidden,” Sweetums explained, pushing the little frog behind his leg.

Sam strutted himself in to center of the throne room and approached Sweetums, not knowing of the little frog hiding behind the burly monster. “Good day, captain Sweetums! All fine and under control here in the kingdom, I assume?” the eagle asked.

Sweetums nervously cleared his throat. “Yes sir, everything’s all under control! Nothing’s amiss! Everything’s a frog—er… everything’s… just fine!”

“Good, captain Sweetums, good!” Sam said. “You know we’re being more and more cautious nowadays—what with that untrustworthy frog being within our midst earlier.”

“I thought he was trustworthy,” Sweetums mumbled.

“Hmph!” Sam scoffed. “Hardly. He was eyeing everything with a mind to steal it, I’m sure of it. What we should have is insurance!”

“I thought we already got plague insurance if we were employed here,” Sweetums said.

“Plaque insurance?” Sam asked. “No, no, no! We don’t get dental! Only health! I’m saying we need castle insurance!”

Sweetums scratched his helmeted head. “Why would we need castle insurance?” he asked.

Sam sighed heavily. “So we’re insured when the frog steals everything once he becomes king!” Sam explained.

“So you do think the frog’ll win?” Sweetums asked.

“I said no such thing!” Sam said, offended.

“Sure ya did!” Sweetums said. “You said once he becomes king he’ll steal everything!”

Sam frowned and stared down at the floor. “Yes, I guess I did say that,” he mumbled. “But I did not mean to imply that he would indeed become king.”

“Hey!” Robin shouted, unable to control himself any longer. “My Uncle Kermit is the best choice for king! He’s brave, and valiant, and… brave and valiant!” Robin declared, now moved out from behind Sweetums’ leg. “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about!”

Sweetums bit his bottom lip (this is no easy task when, for starters, your bottom lip is your only lip, and also when your mouth is as big as Sweetums’). He coughed nervously, pushing Robin back behind his leg. “Nasty cough I’ve got, huh boss? Sounds just like a little bitty frog insulting your intellect! I don’t know where I got it! Good thing we have health insurance!”

Sam looked from the small green frog that disappeared behind Sweetums’ ankle to the captain of the guard’s face. “Something does not seem right here!” Sam declared. “The insulting frog cough allergy isn’t in season!” Sam stared at Sweetums, piercing the monster’s resolve. “How did you catch it?”

Sweetums blinked. He coughed again quickly. “Erm… dunno, boss. Maybe I should see the medic?”

“You can not see the medic,” Sam said. “He succumbed to insulting frog cough just last spring, remember?” Sam sighed mournfully and shook his head. “Such a shame… with his last words he told me I was a terrible employer and needed a toupee… whatever that may be.”

“Wait a sec…” Sweetums said, “Didn’t the medic just transfer castles?”

Sam stared for a moment, thinking about this. “That would explain why he never entered the frog phase of the insulting frog cough allergy…”

The eagle shook his head fiercely. “Never mind all this nonsense!” he said. “Return to your post, captain Sweetums! We must be ever vigilant!” Sam nodded once then turned to leave the throne room.

As soon as the bird was out of ear shot, Sweetums let out a relieved sigh. “That was close, Robin… don’t put me in that position again, alright, little buddy?”

There was no response from the little frog.

“Little buddy?” Sweetums asked, turning around.

As he turned, he realized (quite suddenly, actually) that Robin was, indeed, not standing there any longer.

Sweetums gulped. “Well… that’s not good.”

<-> <-> <-> <-> <->

Robin had meandered casually (and unknowingly) into the menagerie in the back yard of the castle. (Do castles have back yards?) He was marveling at the ornate topiaries and plants scattered throughout when a door at the base of a massive tower flew open.

A small red lobster, a large green… blob, and a goat darted out (we know these objects as Polly, Monty, and Clueless) of the door, arguing with each other (of course).

Robin watched this for a moment and then realized that this arguing mob was coming right towards him.

The three bodies collided with the little frog and all three of them wound up on the ground in a heap.

“Geez, watch it will ya?” Polly said, jumping up and dusting himself off with his claw. “We’re tryin’ to—” Polly stopped. He observed the little green frog he landed on. “Say… you’re a frog, ain’t ya?”

Clueless helped Robin up (because that’s just the kind of person Clueless is) and the little frog collected himself. “Um… yeah, I guess so,” Robin said. “Who… are you?”

“We’re Clueless and—” Clueless started (before Polly stomped on his toe).

“Yeah, just clueless!” Polly said quickly. “We’re kinda lost… any idea which way we should be going?”

Robin scratched his head. “Well… I guess that depends on where you’re trying to get.”

“Good point,” Mad Monty said.

“Quiet, Monty!” Polly hissed. “Uhh… we’re lookin’ for… the food court!”
“Ooh!” Clueless shouted eagerly. “I hope they have a Sbarro!”

Polly, Mad Monty, and Robin stared at Clueless. “What?” Clueless asked. “I like pizza slices as big as my head!”

“Erm…” Robin said nervously, trying to keep character. “What’s… what’s pizza?” he asked, very obviously trying to get the time-line back on track.

“You’ve never had pizza?” Clueless asked. “Boy,” the dumb goat laughed, “he has no idea what he’s missing!”

“I know what you’re missin’!” Polly shouted. “About four dozen brain cells!”

“I’ve been looking for those!” Clueless said.

Polly rolled his eyes. “See what I mean?”

“Yeah…” Robin said nervously. “Um… I don’t think there’s a food court here. Sweetums—my friend, Sweetums, the captain of the guard—took me on a tour of the whole castle and I didn’t see one.”

Polly gulped audibly. “Y—you’re friends with… the captain of the guard?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah!” Robin said. “He calls me his little buddy!”

“Ya… ya don’t say,” Polly said, laughing nervously. “Well it’s been nice talkin’ to ya, kid! Sorry we’ve got to run—fast! Ha ha! Uh… bye!”

Polly began to run off away from Robin while Clueless and Monty stood still. Polly muttered something foul and ran back. “That means run, you idiots!”

“Oh!” Clueless said. “Sorry. You weren’t very specific.”

“I said ‘we’ve got to run—fast!’” Polly shouted.

“Oh,” Monty said. “I missed that.”

Robin watched as the three bumbling fools bumbled off in the distance.

“Well that was weird,” the little frog said to himself.

As he started to walk off Robin’s eyes caught the door the three fools had burst through earlier. His innate, five year old curiosity overcame him and he slowly began to move towards the door, forgetting entirely the fate of the cat who succumbed to curiosity before him.

He reached up his little green hand and turned the door knob, staring in awe at the huge expanse of stairs before him.
 

TogetherAgain

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<GLOMPS the cute little Robin!>

<makes lots of incomprehensible noises> <GRINS>

I love that little guy.

And I love Sweetums trying to get them out of trouble... only to LOSE the little guy. <shakes head>

And, Robin... Those were the bad guys. You should've hidden in an apple barrel. And you probably SHOULDN'T climb those stairs... although it would be fairly adorable if you hung out halfway up them... But then you would have to know how far it was to the top, which would not be a wise thing to find out, methinks.

(And I love your parentheses.)

MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
 

The Count

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Hey Prawn... Sorry I didn't bump this for ju. But is okay story... It needs more to be posted okay? Ju post more soon, or we will come after Ju and um, force feed ju da cooking man's yuchy food okay. Post more! ! !
 

Muppetfan44

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woo-hoo! An update! I liked it. Definitely excited to see how Robin is going to interact with everyone in the castle, and how Kermit is doing on his quest!

Great Job! Please post more soon!
 
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