FanFic: Be My ValennTomb.

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,234
Reaction score
2,919
-------------
Hi guys, just giving you fair warning. This short story I dedicate to Caherine (Ru-ter of Muppet couples), whose high standards of ushgush I can only hope to make some attempts of meeting, Ryan (cracker of prawns), who rooms and boards with that phantomly dragon, and Sara (louvier du Renee, which means "lover of Kermit", though she's ully a lover of Scooter...), who created the character that's the ghoul of our spooky star's dreams. Or should that be nightmares instead?
*Small cryptic laugh.

So hexpect it today... A short story for Valentine's. Story coming soonerishkibbible!
 

Ruahnna

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
1,913
Reaction score
1,149
(using a megaphone) Attention please! This is the ush-gush patrol! Please step up to the computer and commence typing! Just post some ush-gush pronto and nobody gets hurt! That is all....
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,234
Reaction score
2,919
Sorry about that... Had errands to get done, but trust me... It'll get posted. Three-part harmony is what's planned.
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,234
Reaction score
2,919
Sorry, sorry! The computer got taken over by my brother in need of some printing issues. But the first part's done, to be posted in a few secs.
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,234
Reaction score
2,919
And now I present the first installment of my Valentine's Day stoooooory...



Get Me to the Church on Time!
---------------
Backstage at the Benny Vanderghast Theater... Always a maelstrom of activity, tonight was no different than other nights. His footsteps paced to and fro hurriedly, the claws leaving miniature grooves in the flooring. "Oh, why did I let that frog rope me into this!" Uncle Deadly lamented to nobody in particular. "More importantly... Why did I agree to let that dog and cat have their rehearsal dinner here?" The phantomly dragon turned first this way, then the other, his eyes questioning the air as to when would they leave. He had a date to keep this night of nights and he dreaded what she would do to him if he dared show his haunting horned self at their rendezvous, lest he arrive at an undevilly hour.

The Muppets filed into their home away from home, one by one and some two by two, arms linked and all asmiles. Though Mr. Devinshire's mind wanted so badly to join his ghostly ghoul-fiend, he was too much of a generous host, shelving his own selfishness for the time being. "Come my friends" beckoned the darkness dweller, ushering all the members of the troop into the theater. "Bork, bork! Der mooncha-mooncha be getta cüld, herdy flerdy." proclaimed that speaker of mock-Swedish, who breeched the theater's double doors earlier that day, so as to have enough time to prepare the banquet. The canteen's kitchen was a flurry of activity, some would have mistaken it with a veritable torture chamber if they chanced a peek at the culinary artiste's unconventional hardware. Roasted chops braised to perfection in a red wine glaze, strawberry Queen of Hearts' cocktails topped with a spritz of mint, hot buttered rolls flaky to the touch, and rice and steamed vegetables boiling in fragrant jazmin tea along with chilled passion fruit soup, he hastened off stage right to put the finishing touches on a batch of blackberry tarts to be dolliped with a small scoop of ice cream at dessert time. Noone questioned the intensity the Chef put into his work, the labor of love, at least when he was motivated to make a magnificent meal edible for their digestive systems. All eyes were on Kermit, his arm warmly winding its way around Piggy's shoulders. His glass lifted high and toast toasted to Rowlf and Wanda's pending nuptials, everybody devoured the meals before them. Yes, true to Muppet form, quiet and sanity had but a brief reprieve before the zanyness that hounded their personas caught up with them again.

Sated with dinner and a lovely dessert, songs sung and drinks drunk... The party broke up, half opting to return to the boarding house. Deadly swooped hither and yon, tending dutifully to his guests. His movements so swift and still so silent, you would almost think he was some foul-tempered winged demon from the Netherworld but with a soul as angelic as their own personal guardian. The couples were the only remaining revelers lingering at the theater this night... Piggy had dragged Kermit upstairs to her dressing room, prefering her own personal private turf to make Kermit remember just whose girl she was, away from prying eyes or prattling mouths. Scooter and Sara simply chose to breathe in the cold evening air seated on the back alley steps leading into their place of business. The young gofer's arm cradled his redheaded beauty, her head resting on his shoulder as she sighed happily. Gonzo on the other hand, excused himself from Camilla's side... His assistance was needed elsewhere and apparently promised a thrilling doom if he didn't comply.

"Where's my cufflinks?" asked the Muppet monster, searching in the drawers of his alcove, tucked into a corner that you just sort of found by wandering past. "Did you check in the jacket's pockets?" offered the weirdo. "Yes, they're not..." Two matching silven cufflinks emerged from the jacket's front pocket, clutched by the phantom's clawed blue hand. "All fright... Pants please?" "You wear pants?" "Yes Gonzo, and so do you." A quick look down at his torso revealed his embarrassment, "oh yeah, guess I forgot" blurted the whatever. "Fright."
"Uh, are we almost done? Cause my little chicky..." "Yes, yes... Help me with this jacket and you may leave." Gonzo's arms held out the black ash jacket at arms' length, the sleeves held out straight so Uncle Deadly could quickly shove his arms through. Eau de Doom splashed on his countenance and a dead white rose in his lapel, he snatched his parsel in a mad dash off to parts unknown, thanking Gonzo for his help. "Thank you Gonzo... You may now depart from my humble abode." Hands shook grew into a hug between the two blue bachelors, both sharing the same desire to rejoin their significant others post-haste.
"Coming!" the daredevil screamed after hearing her cooey clucks, hopes of snuggling with his feathery fiancee inside a local laundromat mingling in that odd bodkins of a brain of his.
 

Ruahnna

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
1,913
Reaction score
1,149
What FUN! I LOVE parties! And all of my favorite muppets are here!

How nice to know that Chef can, um, really cook when he wants!

How nice to see some of our favorite couples together on Valentine's Day--and I especially liked the thought that Piggy would make the most of wherever they happened to be, and that Gonzo would find a laundromat a romantic place. (Probably wants to GET IN the washer and dryer, knowing the little blue weirdo.)

I was touched by Gonzo helping Deadly. If I were, um, scaly and cranky and blue and, er, dead, I would pick Gonzo to help me prepare for my date. (Is impressed that Deadly remembers what dates are like, and for!)

I only missed Floyd and Janice, but that just means you'll have to INCLUDE THEM LATER! (We want another one just like the other one--Rah! Rah! Rah!
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,234
Reaction score
2,919
------
*In horror movie voice: Ah... Your words are too kind maaster. Floyd and Janice not there Well yes, though I guess that was sort of implied in the "one by one and wo by two" line. But there's a smidgeon of idea there for Part 2. And I believe it's Part 3 that'll rully tickle thine fancy, at least I hope it comes out as UG as planned.
 

theprawncracker

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 14, 2004
Messages
13,202
Reaction score
534
Whoooo!!! LOVE it Ed! Love that Gonzo helped Uncle D.! Great job! Can't wait for more!!
 

ReneeLouvier

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 21, 2005
Messages
2,542
Reaction score
92
Yay!!! I adore this story Ed!! I can't wait too see more of it!! =D
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,234
Reaction score
2,919
At the Gates of... Well...
--------------------
The Electric Mayhem's bus hauntingly halted at the gravelly graveyard's parking lot. So quiet it was, you wouldn't even have known this vehicle conveyed such an outrageously rauckus band of musicians. The neon lights blinded and all music quieted by the ominous omnibus's oddly haunched little driver—noone in sight—a small girlish giggle escaped from the back of the bus. Uncle Deadly turned his head to stare at the blackness behind him, pausing for a moment in the folded doorway leading out into the night. "Hmmm, was that... Eh, not my business." The phantom descended the metal steps, his claws gingerly scraping as he fled off past the marbled structures.
"Like, is he gone?" asked the bodacious blonde, softly so as not to attract any further attention.
"Let me check" replied her base-playing beau.
She shifted her head away from his chest keeping her arms entangled in his. Her fellow co-conspirateur inched upwards, blinking to make sure they were alone again—naturally. After surveying the scene in front of him for a few seconds, Floyd responded "You're not gonna believe this babe—he made like a candle and snuffed out!"
"Like rully..." she said, sharing a laugh repositioning her head on his chest—content to be there listening to his groovy heartbeat.

Midnight tolled throughout the town, its twelve bells signaling it was clear out for all manner of ghosties and ghoulies to emerge from their graves. Uncle Deadly made quick greetings with the few he encountered, trying to keep his date from leaving him skulking for an apology. "Now where did she say... Ah yes, tombstone #15. Handy thing the Undertaker numbered these for convenience's sake." Deadly passed each marbled marker on hushed half-steps—not wanting to cross the slumbering residents—lest they wake amidst an etherial earthen rage. As he neared the fifteenth flagstone, he gazed upon his netherworldly vision—mouthing an almost inaudible "ooh, she's even lovelier in person." She sat on the tomb's limestone ledge, the night air cooly sweeping through her pale deadened blonde locks. Small silken spiderwebs clung to the hem of her twilight violet ballgown—due to the chill of the late hour or rather as a result of the beads of cold angered sweat eminating from her body—the black ribbon tied round her divine dragonly tail rustled in the same undead updrafts as her hair. She sighed and huffed, hexpecting Deadly to make some sort of entrance. Her claws rapped on her seat, nostrils flaring just a little, still mad at the thought that maybe—just maybe—her dragon had dared stand her up.
"Hmmmph! If that phantom doesn't get here soon... Well, let's just say Death will seem a pittance compared to..." her thoughts trailed off, inhaling the funebrial fumes of her mate nearing their own special spot in the cemetary.
"Mmm... He wore the one I got him last Christmas. Good, that'll score you some points" she said, inwardly speaking to herself, exasperation over his tardiness giving way to amusement. "Let's see how you talk your way out of this one Deady."
 
Top