FanFic: Old School Sesame Street Special

minor muppetz

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Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Sesame Street Show for Adults! (audience cheers as the title appears on-screen) And now, heeeeeere's Big Bird!
(audience cheers)
Big Bird: Thank you, thank you. Welcome to the show. I am your host, Big Bird. Now, although Sesame Street is for young kids, this show is intended for adults. So send your kids to bed, okay. And now, here is the opening number, with my very good friend, Grover.

(scene fades to Monster in the Mirror, the celebrity version)

(Mr. Johnson is shown watching the show on his TV)
Mr. Johnson: That monster is everywhere! (his TV screen starts to get a bad reception) Oh, I can't beleive this! The TV is messing up! Well, I'll have to call a repair man. (goes to the phone, but thewn gets secodn thoguhts) But what if... nah, he's busy performing on the show. He couldn't... is that show live or pre-recorded?

(cut to Monsterpiece Theater: Chariots of Fur, with original opening and Alistar Cookie sequences)

(Cookie Monster walks backstage)
Prairie Dawn: Good job, Cookie.
Cookie Monster: Oh, thank you!
Prairie Dawn: I just can't believe that you needed to eat that pipe.
Cookie Monster: Me eat anything.
The Count: (bringing a box of pipes backstage) Well, I've got plent yof pipes for the next show!
Cookie Monster: Delicious! How many are they?
The Count: Well, let's count them togetehr! (Cookie Monster takes each pipe, one at a time, as The Count counts them) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7! 7 wonderful pipes! (laughs, and thunder and lightening strike)
Cookie Monster: 7 pipes. Just like the time we argued over whetehr cookies are for eating or counting.

(fades to the skecth where The Count counts cookies while Cookie Monster eats them, and then cuts to Seven Song (Song of Seven), Jazz #7, and Mad Painter #7)

(a knock is heard on Mr. Johnson's door)
Mr. Johnson: Oh, boy! hat must be the repair man. (goes to the door, and then stops, despite a few more knocks being heard) But wait a minute... (starts getting panicky) What if it is the monsater who serves me everywhere? (another knock is heard) What... what if... (another knock is heard) what if the show is not live.... (a few more knocks are heard) I don't know if I can risk it! (louder knocks are heard) But then I'll miss the show. Okay, a man's got to do whata man's got to do. (goes to the door, but now there is nobody there; the sound of a van driving off is heard) Hmmm, I guess he got tired of waiting.

(cuts to: Sesame Street News: Peter Piper's Family, Swinging Alphabet with the Pointer Sisters, Pinball Number Count #7, Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco, and "What's the Name of That Song?" with Forgetful Jones)

(back at Mr. Johnson's home, another knock is heard)
Mr. Johnson: I am so glad that I could get the repair person to come back. (opens the door, and it's Sully) Are you the repair person?
(Sully nods his head)
Mr. Johnson: Oh, good! So you're not the blue monster!
(Sully shakes his head)
Mr. Johnson: Please come in and repair my TV.

(Sully comes in, to the television set)

Mr. Johnson: This TV has been messed up ever since afte rthe opening number. I really don't want to miss any more of the program than I have to.

(Sully turns some things. the picture --showing the Two-Headed Monster at a disco -- is now clear, but in black and white)

Mr. Johnson: Now the program is in black and white. I want to watch it in color.

(Sully adjusts the screen. Now it is in green. The segment shown now features Harvey Kneeslapper setting up his confetti prank)

Mr. Johnson: Now it's in green! I want it to have regular colors.

(Sully sighs, and then fixes it. It's now in regular color, and the screen is showing the sketch where Ernie and Bert share a pie, but now the dialogue is in spanish)

Mr. Johnson: Well, you fixed the color, but now it's in spanish. I don't speak spanish.

(Sully hands Mr. Johnson a card)

Mr. Johnson: What's this? "Learn Spanish with Professor Grover and Rosita"... I don't want any spanish-learning classes! All I want is for the dialogue to be in english, and to be in the right kind of color!

(Sully fixes the screen again, but this time the TV shocks him, sending him flying backwards and through a wall)

Mr. Johnson: Hmm, maybe I should just get that blue monster to fix everything.

(fades to the sketch where Bert's TV set has an H on the screen, followed by Beat the Time with The Count, "are you the monster who ate the television set?", Super Grover: crossing the street, a detective watching a hippo jump on a trampoline, Kermit demonstrating "next to" with Shola and Fannie, and Sinister Sam loking for Doc Holiday)

(cut to backstage)
Ernie: Well, this has turned out to be a great show.
Bert: Yeah. And it's not even finished.
Herry: There is still more.
Big Bird: Indeed there is. And now, here is a very special guest star, James Taylor.

(fades to That Grouchy Face, followed by Harvey Kneeslapper asking to take a "picture of U", The Typewriter: U-umbrella, U Really Got a Hold on Me, Danger, Mary Had a Bicycle, kids playing follow the elader to demonstrate "over", "under", and "around", and "Telephoen Rock")

(the cop carries the telephone booth from the last number backstage, with Little Jerry and the Monotones still inside it)
Prairie Dawn: Okay, monsters, on set now!
(Grover and Herry show up in repair costumes)
Grover: Well, I am so glad that this is my next costume. I was just asked to repair my regular customers TV and wall. So I do not need to make a costuem change.
Herry: I'll help you after our act is done.

(fades to the "monster repair team" sketch, followed by The How Many Game, Lefty attempting to sell Ernie a stop sign, Mystery Theater: The Case of the Missing Cat, and Prairie Dawn's seasons pageant)

Big Bird: Well, we've had a lot of fun tonight, but now, it's time for our big finale...

(cuts to the celebrity version of Put Down the Duckie)

(the audience cheers)
Big Bird: Well, good night, everybody!
Ernie and Bert: Good night!
Prairie Dawn: I would like to thank our special guest stars James Taylor, the Pointer Sisters, Smokey Robinson, and all of those who participated in our opening and closing numbers.
The Count: And I would like to thank our sponsors, the number 7 and the letter U.
(cuts to Mr. Johnson watching the program on TV, though now his wall and TV are actually in good condition)
Mr. Johnson: Say, I wonder why this show was only meant for adults. There wasn't very much in it that isn't innappropriate for kids. Sure, some of it may have been dated, but it's pretty safe for kids. (picks up a "Playful Magazine", featuring a photo of a bikini-clad green anything muppet woman on the cover and a few censor symbols, and starts reading it) This, on the other hand, isn't appropriate for kids.

(the credits roll over a 1970s-styl illustration of Sesame Street at nighttime, as the nighttime version of the theme plays)
 

minor muppetz

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So, did anybody enjoy this? Did anyone notice the few inside jokes about the recent articles about people thinking that classic Sesame Street is not for kids due to the disclaimer on the Old School sets?
 
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