Fears of Zero- Transcript, anyone?

Discussion in 'Classic Muppets' started by maniacal muppet, Dec 11, 2008.

  1. maniacal muppet Active Member

    Hey everybody! Hope you are all well.

    So, as I was in English class today, reading some works of Edgar Allen Poe, I began to think about this poem from The Muppet Show. Can someone post it on here? I'd like to have a typed copy. Thanks! Happy holidays, all :)
  2. David French Member

    Have you tried Muppet Wiki?
  3. Super Scooter New Member

    Late, late at night,
    The world sleeps...
    And I am here alone,
    And here I come some nights
    To confront my fears.
    They're here, my fears.
    They are always with me,
    Lurking, scurrying, hiding and waiting.
    They come!
    And they go.
    But though they are gone,
    They are never far.
    And here, alone at night,
    I can confront them.
    There they are, confronted fears!
    Fears of hunger, fears of pain... Ow!
    Fears of missing the last train.
    Fear of dentists always drilling,
    Fear that no one will be willing
    To see me as I know I really am.
    Once they are counted and compelled,
    They can quickly be dispelled.
    Like figments of my own imagination.
    But always...
    There are other fears.
    Fears of snakes, fears of cats,
    Fears of maitre d's and rats.
    An irrational black terror
    That someday I may get fat.
    Fear of elevators falling
    And the taxman someday calling
    And the accidental walling of myself
    Up inside a clammy, dank old dingy cellar,
    Where the spiders weave around my tummy,
    And the worms and bugs and crawly things
    Squirm and squiggle at me person.
    Oh, I love it!
    Once they are counted and compelled,
    They can quickly be dispelled.
    But then...
    There are other fears.
    Fears of bullets, there's a dread.
    Fear of baldness on the head.
    Fear of waking up one morning
    To discover that you are dead.
    Once they are counted and compelled,
    They can quickly be dispelled.
    Like figments of my own imagination.
    Then there is the last fear,
    Just about the time when I'm past fear.
    The one that really is final.
    It will come yours... and mine'll.
    In the darkest of the night,
    It will come without a fight.
    It will count me and compel me,
    It will casually dispell me
    For I am just a figment
    Of its own imagination.
  4. maniacal muppet Active Member

    WOW! Thanks so much! And thanks D.F. for the advice. Happy holidays guys! :)
  5. peyjenk New Member

    An interesting tidbit I thought I'd add... it turns out that that poem was not written by Poe after all. In fact, it was written specifically for TMS. I've read that many people think it is an Edgar Allen Poe poem when they first see the sketch (I know I did!). In fact, it was written by Jerry Juhl. I think that the fact so many of us think it is a Poe poem really attests to Juhl's ability!

    http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Fears_of_Zero
  6. maniacal muppet Active Member

    Very true... I agree. This adds a lot to my thoughts on Jerry :)

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