Floyd's Motorcycle

[minor muppetz]

Well, in the last few weeks, I've done different fan fiction stories involving different members of the Electric Mayhem. I've had Animal star in Animal and Bean in the Dessert (it should have been spelled "desert"), Janice in Janice's Big Break, Dr. Teeth in Dr. Teeth Heads for Nashville, and Zoot in Zoot's ENchanted Saxaphone. And now, to round out the original five (and I don't have any current plans to write a Lips fan fic), here is Floyd's story.

Chapter 1

Floyd went to Mild Man Mooney's Motorcycle Mart to buy a motorcycle.

"Well, I sure hope that I can get a motorcycle cheap, said Floyd, who thne saw a sign in the window, which read "blow-out sale!"

"Oh, that should be good", said Floyd, and then, right on cue, the inside of the store blew up.

"That's actually bad", said Floyd.

Mild Man Mooney then came out, all singed.
"Howdy, howdy", said Mild Man Mooney, "I am Mild Man Mooney, the owner of this place. I've been selling motorcycles ever since my uncles car buisness went out of buisness. Anyway, what would you like?"

"I'd like some coffee and a motorcycle", said Floyd, "I need my own transportation, and this week Zoot's using the bus".

"Well", said Mild Man Mooney, "I've got the best motorcycle for you!"

Mr. Mooney handed out a light lavendar-colored motorcycle.

"Isn't it a beauty?", asked Mooney.

"No, it's square", said Floyd.

"Don't be silly", said Mooney, who then held up a cardboard square, "This is a square!"

Floyd then saw a motorcycle painted in psycidellic colors.

"I'll take that one", said Floyd.

"Oh, you don't want that one...", said Mooney.

"Actually, I do", said Floyd, "And the customer is always right!"

"But...", said Mooney, "but.. but... but that's my motorcycle!"

"Well, it's mine now", said Floyd, "And since the customer is always right, it costs 11 dollars!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

Floyd rode away on his motorcycle, which rode smoothly, then started getting bumpy.

"Hey, what's going on?", wondered Floyd.

Then the motorcycle started jumping.

"Man, if I get back to the theater, I'm going to have to see if Bunsen or Beauregard can fix this thing", said Floyd, who then noticed a button on the motorcycle. It said "psychidellic trip mode".

"Groovy!", said Floyd, who pressed the button... WHich caused the motorcycle to travel super fast. Floyd was having trouble controlling the motorcycle and keeping his grip.

"Whoa.... slow down!", cried Floyd.

And then the motorcycle started doing a bunch of stunts that would bee hard to describe in fan fiction (I know, why can't this be a special or a comic book). The motorcycle went up buildings, into building and car windows, down the sewer, and through a construction site. Eventually, it took Floyd to the downtown bridge.

"Hey! Help!", yelled Floyd, still struggling as the motorcycle went up the overpass (that is what you call the rail-thingies on a bridge, right?) and then the motorcycle suddenly stopped.

"Oh, what a relief, man", said Floyd.

Unfortunately, the motorcycle then tipped over sideways.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Floyd and the motorcycle had fallen (and the can't get off!) the bridge, and fell onto a ship.

Floyd groaned.

"Oh, at least my motorcycle didn't get wet", said Floyd.

Floyd then noticed several crows dressed as sailors.

"Well, well, well...", said one crow, "Looks like we've got ourselves two new slaves!"

"What do you mean?", asked Floyd, "The motorcycle isn't a living being."

"Oh, a smartmouth, eh?", said the leader, "If you are going to smart off to me, then the motorcycle will be head slave, and you'll work for him!"

So Floyd and the motorcycle were taken down to the slavery room, where the ship only had one other slave, an old turtle.

"Listen up, slaves!", said the leader, "We've hired a new ehad slave. It's name is..."

The leader then turned to Floyd, "What is your motorycycles name?"

"It ain't got a name", said Floyd.

"Ain't is not a word", said the leader, "But since it doesn't got no name, I shall call it Bruce Dumbledorf the 27th."

"I don't beleive this", moaned Floyd.

"Now, you slaves listen to what Mr. Dumbledorf tells you!", said the leader.

"Hi, my name is Jonathan", said the turtle.

"My name is Floyd Pepper", said Floyd, "And I can't believe that they made my motorcycle head slave."

"Oh, I don't know", said Jonathan, "he certainly looks worthy. Is he a republican?"

"It's not even alive", said Floyd, "It started having problems as soon as I bought it!"

"Well, I am good at fixing things", said Jonathan, "I fixed my cat once. I can fix our head slave in no time!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

Jonathan worked on fixing the motorcycle.

"Of course you know", said Floyd, "We're locked in here. Fixing this dang motorcycle won't set us free."

"Quiet!:, said Jonathan, "I just finished fixing him!"

"Well, at least I can try it out in this room", said Floyd, who rode around the room... And then it quickly rode off out-of-controll, making alot of noise.

The leader opened the door.

"Hey, what's going on in here?", asked the leader.

Floyd then ran over the leader, escaping from the slavery room.

"Hey, two of our slaves have escaped!", shouted the leader, who chased them, forgetting to lock the door.

"I can now try to escape", said Jonathan.

Floyd rode his motorcycle on the boat, and drove it through a stack of barrels of gun powder. Some of the barrels hit the crows who were chasing Floyd, but gunpowder spiled out of one of them. Floyd eventually rode back onto some of the gun powder, and the motorcycle then set off a spark, lighting the gun powder.

The ship soon exploded, blasting Floyd and his motorcycle into the air.

"Hey, groovy, man", said Floyd, "Im flying! And, uh, is this thing slowing down?"

Eventually, the motorcycle got close to an airplane. Floyd was riding his motorcycle next to an airplane, at the same speed.

"This is awesome!", said Floyd.

Floyd was riding the motorcycle right next to a window that Sweetums happened to be sitting next to.

"Oh, hi, Sweetums", said Floyd.

Sweetums waved at Floyd.

Floyd then started to ride down from the sky.

"Oh, no, I'm falling", said Floyd.

Floyd was headed towards land. Fortunately, the motorcycle landed right-side-up.

"Hey, man, I didn't get hurt", said Floyd, "Cool!"

But then the motorcycle rode right into a mine field, getting on top of a few mines, causing Floyd and the motorcycle to flip over after landing on eahc mine. Then, Floyd and the motorcycle both fell over on the ground.

"I wonder where I am", said Floyd.

He then saw several Snowths.

"This is really cosmic", said Floyd.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

Floyd saw all of the Snowths that were right there.

The Snowths started talking.

"Doo doo doo, doo doo?", asked one Snowth.

"Doo doo doo", said another Snowth.

"Doo doo doo do doo doo doo", said another Snowth.

Floyd then looked at a sign, which read "Snowth Island".

"Well, that explains things", said Floyd.

"Doo!", said one of the Snowths.

"You know, I feel like singing", said FLoyd, who then broke into song: "Mahna mahna!"

"Doo doo, do-doo-doo!", san gthe Snowths.

"Mahna mahna!"

"Doo doo doo do!"

"Mahna mahna!"

"Doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo!"

Floyd then started scatting, but the Snowths jus tgave him weird looks. Floyd looked embarrassed, then got on his motorcycle and rode off.

The Snowths looked in bewidlerment.

"Shoudn't he have said 'Mahna Mahna'?", asked one of the Snowths, actually speaking english.

"I sure hope I'm not lost", said Floyd, who then drove past a woode bridge. He then passed up a sign that read "You are now entering Muppaphone Land".

"Oh, so that's where the Muppaphones live", said Floyd.

He drove past the homes of Muppaphones, houses and apartment buildings that were very small. But Floyd didn't see any Muppaphones.

"I wonder where all the Muppaphones are", said Floyd.

Floyd then saw Marvin Suggs, hitting Muppaphone homes with his mallet.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!", said Marvin.

Floyd then stopped his motorcycle.

"Hey, Marvin, long time no see", said Floyd.

"Yeah, I come here e very three or four months to replace Muppaphones", said Marvin, "But I haven't seen any around here for years! But I keep looking."

"You know", thought Floyd, "Could the Muppaphones be... Extinct?"

"Maybe", said Marvin, "But I must keep trying to find living Muppaphones."

Floyd rode off, but then accidently rode into a rock, flipping into a nearby bush.

"Oh, at least this bush protected me", said Marvin.

The bush then exploded, sending Floyd and his motorcycle flying into the air.

"Not again!", said Floyd.

But they then fell back down, into a hole. Floyd then found several Muppaphones.

"Hey, it's Muppaphones!", said Floyd, "I thought you all went extinct!"

"Well, we've just been hiding from Marvin Suggs", said one Muppaphone, "It's been a good hiding place until now."

The other Muppaphones spoke in agreement.

"So that's why he hasn't been on the show in months", said Floyd, "And also why they discontinued that Muppaphone Energy Drink that I enjoyed."

The other Muppaphones gave a shocked reaction.

"Get him!", said one of the Muppaphones.

They all pounched on Floyd, beating him senseless. Then the Muppaphones formed into the shape of a monster with arms and legs, picked up Floyd, and then tossed Floyd into a dumpster.

"Well, I now regret buying that motorcycle", moaned Floyd.

Then the motorcycle was tossed into the dumpster.

"And take your friend with you!", shouted a Muppaphone.

The dumpster lid was then slammed shut.

"I have got to get out of here", said Floyd, who then tried to lift the lid, only it was suddenly locked.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

Floyd tried to push the lid open, but couldn't. He then heard some noise.

"What is that?", asked Floyd.

"Oh, we're just two Muppaphones", said a male muppaphone.

"What are you two doing in here?", asked Floyd.

"Oh", said the male's wife, "We were hiding here for our honeymoon."

"Say, what are you doing here?", asked the husband.

"Oh, I was tossed in here for declaring my love for Muppaphone energy drinks", said Floyd.

"What?", groaned the two Muppaphones, who then jumped onto Floyd, hurting him.

Then they heard a noise.

"What's that?", asked the husband.

The inside of the dumpster was starting to move in.

Outside, a muppaphone in a construction workers hat was on a mechanical device.

"Well, that Muppaphone Energy Drink loving hippie will get crushed!", said the construction worker, who hopped away.

"We're going to get crushed!", shouted the wife.

"We must all find a way out", said Floyd, who pushed the top harder.

"Oh, why'd it have to be locked?", asked the husband.

 

[minor muppetz]

They were pushing at the top.

"We've got to get out of here!", shouted Floyd.

"You can say that again", said the husband.

The compactor was almost doen compacting.

They then heard some screaming from outside the dumpster.

"Ahhhh!"

"Marvin Suggs has found us!"

Indeed, Marvin Suggs was underground, picking up Muppaphones and tossing them into a brown bag.

"The Muppaphones have been sured of extinction!", said Marvin.

"Oh, maybe we can be rescued", said Floyd.

"But he'll kidnap us", said the wife.

"Look", said Floyd, "You two take this knife and hide. I'll ask to get out, then I'll distract him and you two free the other Muppaphones."

Floyd then banged on teh dumpster.

"Hey, Marvin!", shouted Floyd, "This is Floyd. Save me!"

"Okay", said Marvin, who turned the compactor switch off and unlocked the dumpster. Floyd got out.

"Oh, thanks", said Floyd, climbing out and taking his motorcycle with him, "Hey, do you need a ride home?"

The married muppaphone couple jumped out from behind Marvin, the husband used the knife which was in his mouth, and cut the bag open, allowing the others to hop out and hide. Marvin looked in the other direction during this time.

"Oh, no", said Marvin, "I have a jet plane!"

"Say, can you give a ride home then?", asked Floyd.

"Of coruse!", said Marvin.

Floyd and Marvin got on the motorcycle.

"You tell me how to get to the jet", said Floyd.

"Okay", said Marvin.

Meanwhile, the Muppaphones had beaten them to the jet. One of them drained out the gas from the jet.

"Now, don't drain it all out", said one Muppaphone, "Just save enough for them to get far enough away from here."

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 8

Marvin Suggs and Floyd got in the plane, which took off.

"This motorcycle has been nothing but trouble ever since I got it", said Floyd.

"Well, maybe I can use it in a Muppaphones act", said Marvin.

"You know", said Floyd, "I'm starting to think that harming Muppaphones is not cool", said Floyd.

"How can you say that?", asked Marvin, "They beat you up and locked you in that dumpster."

"I know", said Floyd, "but..."

Bug then the plane ran out of gas.

"Oh, no", said Marvin.

The plane fell towards the ground.

"I'm sorry, Floyd", said Marvin, "But I only have one parachute. So I'll take the bag of Muppaphones and my parachute and be out of here."

Marvin took his bag, but then noticed: "They escaped? How could it have happened?"

The plane then hit the ground.

"Oh, that was bad", said Floyd, who got out.

Floyd noticed that his motorcycle was still in good condition.

"Well, let's go back", said Floyd.

"You go on your own", said Marvin, "I'm gonna walk back to Muppaphone Land and get some more."

So Floyd rode his motorcycle back, and soon he was in front of the boarding house.

"Well, it's good to be home", said Floyd.

The motorcycle then drove off on it's own.

"Hey, come back!", shouted Floyd, who then staooped, "Well, it's been nothing but trouble for me. Good ridence."

The motorcycle moved on it's own, until it got back to Mild Man Mooney's Motorcycle Mart. Mooney was talking to some gangsters, while holding a picture of Floyd.

"See this guy? He's Floyd Pepper. He bought my motorcycle, and I want you to find him and get my motorcycle back..."

The motorcycle the hit Mild Man Mooney and stopped.

"Oh, it's come back!", said Mooney, "Nevermind, folks!"

The gansgters left, grumbling.

"Oh, Frances, I have missed you", said Mooney, "I'll take you out to dinner, then we can see a movie, and then we can..."

But then the evil crows came by.

"Hey! There's my head slave!", said the leader, "Hand over Bruce Dumbledorf the 27th!"

"It's name is Frances", said Mild Man Mooney, "And it's mine!"

"Not anymore", said the leader, who grabbed the motorcycle. Mr. Mooney and the leader tugged over the motorcycle.

"If the bike goes, then I go", said Mooney.

And in no time, Mr. Mooney and the motorcycle were both in a kitchen of the crows new ship, peeling potadoes.

"Well, at least we're together", said Mild Man Mooney.

The End

 

[minor muppetz]

I had thought of a few different plot twists for this story. One was that, after Marvin Suggs' plane crashes, Floyd leanrs that the motorcycle really was alive, and wanted to stay with his old master, which was why Floyd had so much trouble with it.

When the plane fell, I thought about having Marvin Suggs take the only parachute and jump out, only to learn that the parachute had a big hole in it.

I guess I don't have to explain who Mild Man Mooney is implied to be related to...

For a logn time I've often wondered whetehr the Snowths could say more than "doo". In this story, it seems that way until Floyd leaves. And no, I don't consider this or any of my other Muppet fan fics cannon, so I really only think of the Snowths as a duo, not as a species.