FR Script - "Red, Your Roving Reporter"

Gorgon Heap

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So I finished this "Fraggle Rock" script 7 years ago, almost to the day, but for some reason I never posted it. Not sure why.

The impetus was talking to FR puppeteer Terry Angus. He was describing his primary background character, Morris Fraggle, and how he'd envisioned said character as the editor of the Fraggle Rock newspaper (you can even see him taking notes in an episode, though I forget which one; it's in Season One or Two). So, for Terry, and because I had some ideas I wanted to utilize, and to find out whether or not I could even do it, here is my fan episode script:


ACT ONE

SCENE 1

INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - DAY

SPROCKET SNOOZES. DOC BURSTS IN.

DOC
Sprocket!​

SPROCKET WAKENS WITH A START.

DOC (CONT’D)
You’ll never believe what I just heard! Ned Shimmelfinney has it on good authority that the old captain who lived across the street was a millionaire!

SPROCKET
Gasp!

DOC
Yes! They say his fortune was made up of valuable objects he’d collected from his days as a master of the sea: gold doubloons, rubies, pearls as big as your nose!​

DOC TAPS SPROCKET’S NOSE. SPROCKET RUBS IT.

DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s a lot of nonsense of course. They excavated under the captain’s house last year and didn’t find a thing... Still, just for a lark, I might try out this old army surplus metal
detector that I picked up for a song --

HE PRODUCES THE CUMBERSOME OBJECT, AND TUCKS IT UNDER HIS ARM.

DOC (CONT’D)
It was an army song, of course.
(chuckles)
Well, I don’t expect to find anything really, but it’ll give me a good excuse to try this thing out, and who knows? I’ll be leaving this room a wise and respected inventor, but I may
return as a man of wealth and influence.

HE TURNS, NEARLY HITTING SPROCKET, WHO DUCKS. DOC EXITS.

SPROCKET SHAKES HIS HEAD, AND LAYS IT DOWN ON THE WORKBENCH.

TILT DOWN/DISSOLVE TO:


SCENE 2

INT. RED & MOKEY’S CAVE - MORNING


RED NAPS IN HER HAMMOCK. MOKEY BURSTS IN.

MOKEY
(screams)
Red! It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally arrived!

RED AWAKES WITH A START.

RED
What’s finally arrived, Mokey?

MOKEY
The newest edition of the “Weekly Fraggle”.

RED
Oh, is that all?

MOKEY
Why, Red! Morris published one of my poems in this week’s paper, and next week, I’m doing an advice column.

RED
(with disinterest)
That’s just great, Mokey.

SHE TURNS OVER IN HER HAMMOCK TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.

MOKEY
Don’t you want to see it?

RED
No offense, Mokey -- I like poems and stories as much as the next Fraggle -- but the newspaper’s really not my cup of radishes. Writing is more your interest, and mine, at the moment, is napping.

SHE TURNS HER BACK.

MOKEY
(dejected)
Oh.

RED
(sighs)
Of course I’ll look at it.

MOKEY
Oh, good!

RED
When I get up.

MOKEY
Oh. All right.

MOKEY EXITS. RED TOSSES AND TURNS IN HER HAMMOCK.

RED
Oh, gorg blisters! Now I’m wide awake! Well, I might as well get up.

SHE HOPS DOWN FROM HER HAMMOCK, AND STARTS PUMPING GRANITE.

MORRIS ENTERS.

MORRIS
Knock knock! Anyone home?

RED
Oh, hey Morris! If you’re looking for Mokey, you just missed her.

MORRIS
Oh, that’s okay, Red. Actually, I was looking for you.

RED PUTS DOWN HER BARBELLS.

RED
For me? Why? Did Gobo cancel tomorrow’s hockey practice?

MORRIS
Oh, no Red. I just wanted to ask for your help.

RED
My help? With what?

MORRIS
Well, you know my paper, “The Weekly Fraggle”?

RED
Yeah -- well, I know of it.

MORRIS
Anyway, I’m expanding “The Weekly Fraggle” into a daily edition, “The Daily Boulder”, and I’d like you to be a part of it. You see --

RED
Hold on a minute, Morris, I think I can see where this is going.
(she takes him aside)
Morris, don’t get me wrong -- you’re a great guy and a great rock hockey player, but working on a newspaper is not my speed. I can’t imagine anything more boring than just writing about stuff.

SHE RESUMES HER WEIGHT-LIFTING REGIMEN.

MORRIS
Oh Red, you’ve got it all wrong! Journalism is the most exciting thing in the world!

RED
Yeah, I -- what?

SHE ABRUPTLY PUTS DOWN THE BARBELL.

MORRIS
Yeah! In the news, you’re always where the action is. When the game is a nail-biter, the news is there. When danger is around the corner, the news is there! When disaster strikes --

RED
The news is there!

RED STRAIGHTENS UP WITH IMPORTANCE.

MORRIS
Yeah! That’s why I want your help finding a really super story to kick off with!

RED
Wow! But why me?

MORRIS
Why, because you know what’s going on! Because you know what’s in the here and now! Because you’re the bravest, most capable Fraggle around!

RED
I am?!

MORRIS GENTLY TOUCHES HER ARM. SHE DOESN’T NOTICE.

MORRIS
Yes, you are. That’s why I want to make you my star reporter!

RED
Star reporter?!

MORRIS PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER AS HE PAINTS THE PICTURE.

MORRIS
Yeah! Someone who’ll be in the thick of the action, who’ll go bravely where no Fraggle has gone before, who can face down danger, take on monsters, anything to get the story!

RED
Oh, I’d love to!

MORRIS
Great! I’ll start putting together the items for the first issue, and you can start hunting for a great lead-off story!

RED
Yeah!

MORRIS
We’ll meet back in the Great Hall in four Doozer towers.

MORRIS EXITS.

RED
You got it, Morris! Wow, imagine -- me: Red, your Roving Reporter! I can see the headline now:

SHE BREAKS INTO SONG.


SCENE 3

INT. GREAT HALL - MORNING


RUMPLE, FEENIE, LARGE MARVIN AND MARLON GATHER IN A HUDDLE. THEY ‘OO’ AND ‘AH’ ABOUT SOMETHING UNSEEN.

MARLON
Oh, it’s magnificent!

LARGE MARVIN
Yeah, marvelous!

RUMPLE
It’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen!

RED ENTERS.

RED
Oh, boy! Sounds like my first story has just hit the presses! I can see the headline now: “Amazing Discovery Grips Fraggle Rock”.

SHE APPROACHES.

RED (CONT’D)
Hi, gang! Red, your roving reporter, is on the scene! Tell me, in your own words, what, pray tell, is this amazing discovery?

LARGE MARVIN
Feenie here just found a blue pebble!

FEENIE
Yeah!

BEAMING, HE PRESENTS IT TO HER.

RED
That’s the amazing discovery?

FEENIE
Oh, no, that’s not the amazing thing!

RUMPLE
Oh, no way!

FEENIE
The amazing thing is, I also found a green pebble the exact same shape and size!

RUMPLE HOLDS IT UP.

RUMPLE
Yeah, it’s really neat!

RED
Do you guys have any idea how disappointing this is? Isn’t there anything exciting going on?

MARLON
Oh, Red! Red! If it’s excitement you’re looking for, you should swing over to my cave! My life is very interesting! Heh! Full of excitement! Heh! Heh!

RED
Uh, no thanks, Marlon. Anybody else?

LARGE MARVIN
Well, ah, you could always try Boober’s cave. He’s always doing something with water and cloth and stuff.

RED
(sighs, disgusted)

RUMPLE
Large Marvin, that’s laundry.

LARGE MARVIN
I thought it was Red!

RED
It’s a very disappointed star reporter is what it is. Thanks anyway.

RED EXITS, DISMAYED.

FEENIE
You’re welcome, scar reporter!


SCENE 4

INT. CAVERN OUTSIDE BOOBER’S CAVE - MOMENTS LATER

RED LOOKS THROUGH BOOBER’S DOORWAY, AND HANGS HER HEAD.

RED
(sighs)
Boober’s cave is the dullest, quietest, most boring place in the whole Rock.

BOOBER (O.S.)
(screams)
Ah!

RED
Whoa! I’m coming, Boober!


SCENE 5

INT. BOOBER’S CAVE - CONTINUOUS

RED RUSHES INSIDE. BOOBER FRETS AT HIS LAUNDRY TUB, HIS BACK TO RED.

RED
Boober, what’s the emergency?

BOOBER
It’s right here!
(indicates)
I missed a radish stain on this shirt and washed it with the rest of the laundry! Now the wash water has turned pink, and all the laundry has been soaking in it! It’ll get discolored.

RED
Is that all?

BOOBER
Is that all?! Do you realize I’ll have to start all over again, and the stains might not even come out?! Oh, I’ve had nightmares like this.

RED
I’m sorry I asked.

RED HEADS FOR THE DOOR.

BOOBER
Yes, you should be sorry!

FLUSTERED, RED DOES AN ABOUT-FACE.

RED
Boober, you sure don’t know a disaster when you see one!

SHE EXITS IN A HUFF. BOOBER RUNS TO THE DOORWAY AND CALLS AFTER HER.

BOOBER
Oh, I don’t know a disaster?! What about this is not disastrous?! Don’t you know my reputation is hanging by a thread?!


SCENE 6

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - A FEW MINUTES LATER

RED MOSEYS, HANGDOG, DOWN THE TUNNEL.

RED
Oh, pebbles, laundry -- some news day! I think Morris exaggerated how exciting the news is. I can see the headline now: “Disappointed Star Reporter Hangs Up Trench Coat”.

RED SPOTS GOBO WITH HIS BACK TO THE WALL, BY THE HOLE TO OUTER SPACE.

RED (CONT’D)
Finally, somebody who understands adventure. Hey Gobo!

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOLE, SPROCKET BARKS UP A STORM.

GOBO
Quiet, Red! The hairy monster is waiting on the other side of the hole.

RED
Oo, sounds perilous! How about it, Gobo? Will you give us an exclusive?

GOBO
What are you talking about?

RED
Oh, I’m a star reporter for “The Daily Boulder”, the new daily edition of “The Weekly Fraggle”.

GOBO
Oh, Morris’s paper.

RED
Yeah. So what happens next, Gobo? Our readers must know!

GOBO
Well, as soon as the hairy monster moves away from this hole, that’s when I’ll make my move. Just gotta sit and wait it out.

RED
Is that it?

GOBO
Yup, pretty much.

RED
Hmm.

INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - INTERCUT

SPROCKET GROWLS AT THE HOLE. DOC ENTERS AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM, STARTLING SPROCKET, WHO BUMPS HIS HEAD.

DOC
Well, that was a waste of time. All I turned up was a tin can, some bottle caps, and about thirty-two cents in change.

HE SCATTERS HIS HAUL ON THE WORKBENCH. SPROCKETS SNIFFS IT.

DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s just as well. It’s only Ned Shimmelfinney and his silly rumors. He probably made the whole thing up just to annoy me... Still, the captain did live here all his life, even before this house was built. I suppose I have nothing to lose by firing this up in here.

HE SCANS THE FLOOR WITH THE METAL DETECTOR. IT GOES OFF, STARTLING SPROCKET, WHO SCATTERS THE OBJECTS WITH HIS NOSE.

SEIZING THE OPPORTUNITY, GOBO SNEAKS UP TO THE WASTEBASKET AND GRABS THE POSTCARD.

DOC (CONT’D)
(chuckles)
Oh, would you listen to that, Sprocket? I’d say there’s a whole lot of metal under the floor. I’d better pry up some of these floorboards and see what’s under there.

GOBO EXITS.

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - INTERCUT

GOBO RUSHES IN TO A WAITING RED.

RED
What do you say, Gobo? Do you have anything exciting for us?

GOBO
Well, I do happen to have the latest card from Uncle Traveling Matt!

RED
(sighs, sarcastic)
Ugh! Stop the presses.

GOBO
(reading)
“Dear Nephew Gobo...”

DISSOLVE TO:


SCENE 7

EXT. SHIP - DAY

TRAVELING MATT PEERS OUT OF A CRATE.

MATT
The other day, I made an amazing discovery while a guest on one of the silly creatures’ aquatic vessels.

MATT OBSERVES A MAN FEEDING OUT LINE FROM AN AIR PUMP.

MATT (CONT’D)
The silly creature was throwing a length of funny-looking rope into the water. Having no idea what was on the other end of that rope, I decided to find out for myself.

AS SOON AS THE MAN’S BACK IS TURNED, MATT DIVES IN WITH A SPLASH, GIVING THE MAN PAUSE.

EXT. UNDERWATER - CONTINUOUS

MATT FOLLOWS THE LINE.

MATT (V.O.)
When I came to the end of the line, I saw the most terrifying hulking beast on the other end of it.

MATT SPOTS A DEEP-SEA DIVER EXAMINING THE AQUATIC LIFE.

MATT (CONT’D)
On closer observation, however, I realized the creature was only exploring his surroundings.
Evidently, this beast was the silly creature’s aquatic pet, and he was taking it for a walk.

MATT PATS THE DIVER ON THE HELMET.

MATT (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Sometimes the best way to learn something is by seeing it for yourself.

THE DIVER TURNS HIS HEAD, LOOKING AFTER MATT.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - INTERCUT

GOBO FINISHES READING.

GOBO
“Love, your Uncle Traveling Matt.”

RED
(sarcastic)
Riveting reading, Gobo. Almost as interesting as Boober’s pink laundry.

RED TUNES OUT.

GOBO
Hey! Oh, there’s more: “P.S. Seeing the aquatic creature put me in the mood for exploring the bottom of the Laughing Lagoon on my next trip home, and I’d appreciate it if you’d gather up some tube vines from the Freckled Forest.” Those things are a mess.

RED
Wake me if something interesting happens.

GOBO
Sorry, Red. What I have to do is tough, but not what I’d call news. To tell you the truth, though, I’d rather face the challenge of the hairy monster than what I have to do next.

HE EXITS. RED RESPONDS, HALF OUT OF IT.

RED
Uh-huh, gotcha. Challenge, hairy monster, what you have to do next. Sigh.
(beat, she sits bolt upright)
Whoa! Did Gobo just say he was going to challenge the hairy monster?

MUSICAL STING.


Part Two coming up.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 

Gorgon Heap

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ACT TWO

SCENE 8

INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP

DOC CROUCHES WITH THE METAL DETECTOR NEAR THE RECENTLY OPENED
UP FLOOR, SCANNING WHERE THE PIPES ARE, WHILE SPROCKET CRINGES FROM THE NOISE.

DOC
I know there’s something under here! I can hear it setting off the metal
detector, but I can’t see it with all these pipes in the way!

SPROCKET NODS AND BARKS. HE MIMES TRYING TO TELL DOC THAT IT’S THE PIPES MAKING IT GO OFF.

DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, good idea, Sprocket! I’ll just maneuver these pipes out of the way.

SPROCKET PANICS, URGING HIM NOT TO DO IT.

DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, what’s the matter, boy? I know what I’m doing. Just a little adjustment here and there, nothing to it.
(checks watch)
I’d better get my tools back from Ned Shimmelfinney and get right on it if I
want to find this treasure before supper.

HE EXITS. SPROCKET SHAKES HIS HEAD.


SCENE 9

INT. GOBO & WEMBLEY’S ROOM


RED HOLLERS OUT AS SHE ENTERS.

RED
Gobo! Gobo!

SHE FINDS WEMBLEY INSIDE.

RED (CONT’D)
Wembley, have you seen Gobo?

WEMBLEY
Sorry, Red. You just missed him.

RED
Oh. Did he say where he was going?

WEMBLEY
Well, to tell you the truth, I was just waking up. He didn’t say anything, just took his hammer and scissors and hit the road.

RED
Oh. Hammer and scissors?!

WEMBLEY
Uh -- uh, yeah, Red.

RED
Okay Wembley, listen carefully: as a roving reporter, I’ve got to ask you some questions.

WEMBLEY
Uh, roving reporter, Red?

RED
I’m working on Morris’s newspaper.

WEMBLEY
Oh! I see.

RED
He’s asked me to get the lead story. Now, how long would you say you’ve
known Gobo Fraggle?

WEMBLEY
Why, uh -- as long as I can remember.

RED
Uh-huh. Now, describe your relationship to Gobo Fraggle.

WEMBLEY
Well, he’s my best friend. And we share a cave together! And -- uh, Red, don’t you know all this already?

RED
It’s called getting the facts, Wembley.

WEMBLEY
Oh! Okay.

RED
Now Wembley, this is important: has Gobo ever said anything to you about
challenging the hairy monster?

WEMBLEY
Well, uh... No. At least, not that I can remember. Why do you ask?

RED
Well, this morning, outside the hole to Outer Space, I thought he said that
the next thing he was going to do was challenge the hairy monster.

WEMBLEY
He said that?!

RED
That’s what I’m trying to find out, Wembley.

WEMBLEY
Gosh!

RED
Does he ever talk about the hairy monster?

WEMBLEY
Sure he does, Red. Every day, in fact, he tells me how he narrowly escaped the jaws of the monster.

RED
Don’t you think he wishes he didn’t have to deal with it, day in and day out, risking death and dismemberment?

WEMBLEY
D-d-d-death and dismemberment?

RED
And now he’s disappeared, without a trace, taking with him his hammer and
scissors! Who knows to what purpose? Could it be... to fight the hairy
monster?

WEMBLEY
Oh, no! You’re right! I’ve gotta go find Gobo before it’s too late! Gobo! Gobo!

HE GETS UP AND RUNS FOR THE DOOR.

RED
Wembley, wait! I was just --

WEMBLEY
Gobo!

HE EXITS.

RED
I was just trying to get the facts.


SCENE 10

INT. OUTSIDE BOOBER’S CAVE

WEMBLEY SEARCHES FRANTICALLY.

WEMBLEY
Gobo! Gobo!

BOOBER ENTERS. WEMBLEY BUMPS INTO HIM.

WEMBLEY (CONT’D)
Oh, Boober! I’m glad I found you. I think we’re in trouble!

BOOBER
You can say that again! My laundry’s giving off a rosy hue.

WEMBLEY
Oh. That sounds nice.

BOOBER
Nice?! Wembley, a radish stain has contaminated all my laundry!

WEMBLEY
Oh. I can see how that would be a problem. And obviously that’s more important than Gobo doing battle with the hairy monster, so I --

BOOBER
What?! Are you insane?!

WEMBLEY
Red told me that Gobo mentioned it this morning.

BOOBER
What?! Is he insane?!

WEMBLEY
I -- I -- I don’t know which one of us is insane!

BOOBER
Wembley, are you sure?

WEMBLEY
Am I -- am I sure?

BOOBER
Yes. Think about it carefully: our course of action is entirely dependent on the next words that come out of your mouth.

WEMBLEY
I -- I don’t know, uh, uh ... Maybe?

BOOBER
Oh! Wembley!

WEMBLEY
I don’t know, Boober! First Red tells me he said it, and then I can’t find him, and wherever he’s gone, he’s taken his hammer and scissors --

BOOBER
What?! Gobo is missing with implements of destruction?!

WEMBLEY
Yeah! Or implements of cutting down tube vines...

BOOBER
That is not the point! The point is that Gobo is in grave danger, and we’ve got to stop him!

WEMBLEY
But how? I -- I can’t even find him!

BOOBER
We’ll get help. Uh... Mokey!

WEMBLEY
Mokey!

BOOBER
She’ll know what to do! Come on!

BOOBER DASHES OFF. WEMBLEY LINGERS A MOMENT.

WEMBLEY
Right! Boy, I’m glad we got that straightened out.

BOOBER DUCKS BACK IN, JUST LONG ENOUGH TO YELL.

BOOBER
Wembley!

WEMBLEY
I’m right behind you, Boober!

WEMBLEY FOLLOWS.


SCENE 11

INT. GREAT HALL - LATE MORNING


TWO DOOZERS, FLANGE AND WASHER, CONVERSE ON THEIR BREAK.

FLANGE
There’s nothing like reading the ‘Daily Doozer’ over morning break, eh, Washer?

MOKEY STROLLS ALONG WITH HER PAPER, SINGING TO HERSELF.

MOKEY
La la la... Ah, there’s nothing like reading the ‘Weekly Fraggle’ over a morning radish.

SHE SPOTS A FRESH DOOZER CONSTRUCTION.

MOKEY (CONT’D)
Oo, except --

SHE GRABS OFF A PIECE.

MOKEY (CONT’D)
Ah, the perfect mid-morning treat.

SHE SIGHS, STARTING UP ON HER MERRY WAY, WHEN BOOBER AND WEMBLEY BURST IN.

BOOBER
Mokey! Dread news! Gobo is going to challenge the hairy monster!

MOKEY
Challenge the hairy monster? Oh, don’t be silly! The hairy monster doesn’t play games.

BOOBER
No, Mokey, this is no game! We’re talking about a fight to the death!

MOKEY
Gasp! A fight?! Why, that’s terrible! Goodness knows we don’t
need any violence around here, and --

SHE SEES BOOBER AND WEMBLEY SHAKING AND COWERING AND HOLDING
ONTO EACH OTHER FOR DEAR LIFE. SHE WISES UP.

MOKEY (CONT’D)
Uh, Boober, Wembley -- aren’t you spinning a pretty twisted tale? I mean, why would Gobo challenge the monster? And how do you know this?

BOOBER
Well, he’s gone, and he’s taken his hammer and scissors --

MOKEY
Oh, he’s probably just cutting tube vines!

WEMBLEY
No, no, Mokey -- Red heard him say it!

MOKEY
Gasp! Red heard Gobo say it?

WEMBLEY
She was there with him when it happened.

MOKEY
Oh no! We’ve got to stop it! Attention everyone! Everyone!

EVERYONE STOPS.

MOKEY (CONT’D)
I have just been informed that Gobo has stated his intention to challenge the hairy monster from Outer Space!

THE FRAGGLES ALL GASP. THE WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE EMERGES FROM THE CROWD.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
Now just a radish-pickin’ minute, Mokey Fraggle! Just where did you get your information?

MOKEY
Well, I heard it from Boober --

BOOBER
And I heard it from Wembley --

WEMBLEY
And I heard it from Red, who heard it from Gobo himself!

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
(beat)
Well, that’s good enough for me!

MOKEY
We’ve got to find him before it’s too late!

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
All right, listen up, you Fraggles! You might think this is all just another walk through the posies!

THE FRAGGLES AGREE.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
(CONT’D)
We’ve got a Fraggle among us who has taken it upon himself to challenge the
hairy monster from Outer Space, in the name of Fragglekind!

THE FRAGGLES CHEER.

RUMPLE
Boy, that Gobo! What a Fraggle!

FEENIE
You can say that again, Wrinkle!

RUMPLE
(beat)
Rumple.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
And as the oldest one among us, I know exactly what must be done!

MURMURS OF AGREEMENT.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
(CONT’D)
Our course of action is clear.

MURMURS OF ANTICIPATION.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
(CONT’D)
We will support Gobo in his challenge, and fight the beast alongside him!

THE FRAGGLES CHEER ENTHUSIASTICALLY.

MOKEY
No, wait! This is all wrong!

RED ENTERS.

RED
What’s all the commotion?

MARLON
Oh, Red! Red! Gobo is going to fight the hairy monster from -- Outer Space -- in the name of Fragglekind! Heh heh!

RED
So it is true! Oh, wait’ll I tell Morris!

SHE HURRIES OFF. MOKEY TRIES TO GET THE CROWD’S ATTENTION.

MOKEY
Oh, they’re not listening! Come on, let’s go find Gobo.

SHE EXITS, WITH WEMBLEY AND BOOBER IN TOW.

MARLON
I wonder what Gobo is thinking right now.


SCENE 12

INT. FRECKLED FOREST - INTERCUT


GOBO STRUGGLES CUTTING A TUBE VINE.

GOBO
Oh, this is the most boring, tiresome job in the whole Rock!

HE TUGS ON A VINE, WHICH COMES FREE, SMACKING HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE.

GOBO (CONT’D)
(to the vine)
The feeling is mutual.
(to himself)
Well, at least I can look forward to some peace and quiet when I get back.

SCENE 13

INT. GREAT HALL - A FEW MINUTES LATER


THE FRAGGLES MILL ABOUT, GATHERING THEIR ARMORY.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
Remember, Fraggles, you’re fighting for the dignity of your class. The hairy monster is cruel and clever, and it’s up to us to show him what Fraggles are made of! Sound the battle cry!

CUE BATTLE SONG. RED ENTERS.

RED
Oh, boy! Now for some on-the-spot interviews! I can see the headline now:
(envisions headline)
“Fraggles React to News of Hairy Monster Challenge”. I’ll bet they’re just --

SHE GASPS UPON SEEING WHAT IT’S COME TO. TRYING TO STOP THEM, SHE GETS BUMPED INTO, KNOCKED OVER, AND TRAMPLED.

NEARING THE END OF THE WAR SONG, RUMPLE ADDRESSES HIS POSSE.

RUMPLE
Hey, I’ve got an idea! Before Gobo gets back, let’s go give the hairy monster a piece of our mind!

FEENIE
I -- I don’t know if I can afford one.

RUMPLE
No, I mean let’s go show that monster what he’s in for! Weaken his nerves! Shatter his confidence!

FEENIE
Oh, good idea!

THEY EXIT. RED FINALLY REGAINS HER FOOTING.

RED
I’ve got to find Gobo and put a stop to this before someone gets hurt!

SHE DASHES OFF.

SCENE 12

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE

THE NITWITS ARRIVE.

RUMPLE
Look! There he is.

INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - INTERCUT

SPROCKET SURVEYS THE HOLE.

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE

RUMPLE MAKES THE FIRST MOVE.

RUMPLE
Hey, fur-face!

SPROCKET RAISES HIS HEAD IN CONFUSION.

RUMPLE (CONT’D)
Yeah, that’s right, you! You don’t know what you’re in for! Gobo’s gonna knock you flat, boy!

LARGE MARVIN
Yeah! He’s gonna mop the cave floor with ya!

SPROCKET GROWLS.

MARLON
Gobo is going to capture you, and we will put you on display, with a banner that says “Marlon’s Hairy Monster from Outer Space”! Oh, and Gobo’s too!

SPROCKET WHIMPERS.

DOC ENTERS, SLAMMING THE DOOR AND STARTLING SPROCKET.

DOC
The nerve of Shimmelfinney. He thinks I’m wasting my time, when he’s the one who told me about it in the first place! I know there’s something under here, and by golly, I’m gonna find it!

DOC HASTILY STARTS TO WORK UNDER THE FLOOR. SPROCKET TRIES TO CALL HIS ATTENTION TO THE FRAGGLES. HE STARTS BARKING.

DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, Sprocket! Will you stop that? The sooner I move these pipes, the sooner I can find what’s making this metal detector go off!
(beat)
I just realized something.

SPROCKET NODS, ANTICIPATING.

DOC (CONT’D)
If I’m going to be removing a heavy chest from the floor, I’m going to need some help lifting it. I’d better rig up a pulley system. I’m off to the hardware store. I won’t be long!

HE EXITS.

RUMPLE
It’s your turn, say something, Feenie!

FEENIE
Oh, I don’t know, uh --

RUMPLE
Come on!

FEENIE
Okay. Uh, hey furry thing!

SPROCKET, CAUGHT OFF GUARD, RETURNS HIS ATTENTION TO THE HOLE.

FEENIE (CONT’D)
We’re, uh, we’re gonna scare you so bad, you’re gonna lose all your fur, and then you’ll be the Unhairy Monster from Outer Space! How was that?

SPROCKET GROWLS.

RUMPLE
Good enough, Feenie!

SPROCKET BARKS AT THE HOLE.

FEENIE
Whoa! Are you sure it’s safe here?

RUMPLE
Sure! He can’t fit through there!

SPROCKET BACKS AWAY, THINKING. AN IDEA COMES TO HIM.

SPROCKET HOPS DOWN INTO THE SPACE UNDER THE FLOOR AND STARTS DIGGING. WITH HIS BACK FOOT, HE KICKS A LOOSE PIPE. IT SHAKES FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS... THEN BURSTS OPEN, SPILLING WATER INTO THE HOLE.

MUSICAL STING.


Part Three on the way.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 

Gorgon Heap

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ACT THREE

SCENE 15

INT. MORRIS’S ROOM

RED BURSTS IN
, FINDING MORRIS AT WORK.

RED
Morris! Come quick! It’s a catastrophe!

MORRIS
A catastrophe? Wow, the paper hasn’t seen one of those since --

RED
Will you forget about the silly paper?!

MORRIS
Why, what’s wrong, Red?

RED
I’ll tell you what’s wrong. News travels fast! The Fraggles are about to do battle with the Hairy Monster! We’ve gotta stop them! Come on!

MORRIS
Right behind you, Red!

THEY EXIT.


SCENE 16

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE

THE IDIOTS CONGRATULATE EACH OTHER.

RUMPLE
Boy, we sure showed him!

FEENIE
I’ll say!

AT THAT MOMENT, SPROCKET TUNNELS UP THROUGH THE FLOOR. HE BARKS AT THEM.

RUMPLE
Oh, boy! We’ve got to either run or fight.

BEAT. THEY HOLLER AS SPROCKET CHASES THEM AWAY.

BEHIND THEM, WHERE SPROCKET TUNNELED UP, WATER STARTS TO SEEP OUT OF THE HOLE.

INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - INTERCUT

WATER STARTS SPREADING ACROSS THE WORKSHOP FLOOR.


SCENE 17

INT. GREAT HALL

RED AND MORRIS ENTER AT THE SAME TIME AS MOKEY, WEMBLEY AND BOOBER.
ALL ARE OUT OF BREATH.

RED
Did you find Gobo?

MOKEY
No.

BOOBER
For all we know, he may have already been eaten by the Hairy Monster!

MORRIS
Gosh, what a news story that would make!

MOKEY
Morris!

BEHIND THEM, GOBO ENTERS WITH AN ARMFUL OF TUBE VIBES.

RED
Oh, why did Gobo have to make that silly challenge?!

GOBO
What challenge, Red?

ALL
Gobo!

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
Well, here comes our conquering hero now!

THE FRAGGLES CHEER.

GOBO
What’s going on?

THE WORLD’S OLDEST COMES UP NEXT TO GOBO.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
Oh, don’t be so modest, Gobo! Everyone knows you’ve taken it upon yourself to fight the Hairy Monster!

GOBO
What?!

MORRIS
Gobo, how about an exclusive?

GOBO
An exclusive what? What is this?

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
Just accept the accolades and enjoy your stature, my boy! That’s what got
me where I am today.

HE TURNS BUT HIS BEARD CAUGHT IN A TUBE VINE.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
(CONT’D)
Hey, Sonny, you’ve got my beard there!

WORLD’S OLDEST TUGS.

GOBO
Oh. Sorry.

GOBO GENTLY MOVES THE VINE. WORLD’S OLDEST FALLS WITH A WAIL AND A CRASH.

GOBO (CONT’D)
Now, why does everyone think I’m going to fight the Hairy Monster?

RED
Well, I thought I heard you say it this morning, something about ‘challenge’, ‘the hairy monster’, ‘the next thing you were going to do’.

GOBO
I never said that. I said I’d rather face the challenge of the hairy monster than what I had to do next, which was cutting tube vines.

RED
Tube vines?!

GOBO
Yeah. I’ve been in the Freckled Forest all day cutting these nuisances, for my Uncle Matt!

MORRIS
(sarcastic)
Oh, some headline!

RED
Well then, why does everyone here know about it?!

MOKEY
Well, I heard it from Boober.

BOOBER
And I heard it from Wembley!

WEMBLEY
And I heard it from Red!

RED
You mean, all of this is because of what I overheard, incorrectly?

WORLD’S OLDEST POPS UP.

WORLD’S OLDEST FRAGGLE
Sure looks that way, doesn’t it? News travels fast, even if it is nothing more than a bunch of gorg fuzz!
(he turns to address the crowd)
All right, break it up!

GOBO
Well, at least there was no harm done.

RUMPLE, MARLON, LARGE MARVIN AND FEENIE COME RUSHING IN.

FEENIE
Whoa!

LARGE MARVIN
Run for your lives! Hairy monster on the loose!

RUMPLE
He’ll eat us all!

SPROCKET ENTERS, CHASING AND BARKING. THE FRAGGLES SCATTER, HIDING BEHIND ROCKS. RED GETS KNOCKED OVER BY FEENIE.

BY THE TIME SHE GETS UP, ALL THE OTHER FRAGGLES HAVE SHELTER, AND SHE’S FACE TO FACE WITH SPROCKET, BARKING AND GIVING CHASE.

SHE RUNS, TRIPPING ON A LOOSE ROCK AND FALLING TO THE FLOOR. SHE TURNS ONTO HER BACK TO FIND HERSELF STARING AT SPROCKET’S FACE, WITH HIM HOVERING POWERFULLY OVER HER, AS IF PINNING HER TO THE GROUND.

RED
Oh! Oh! Help! Help! Gobo!

GOBO
Try to remain calm, Red!

RED
That’s easy for you to say, Gobo!

SPROCKET GROWLS.

GOBO
Just try talking to him, Red!

RED
Talking to him?
(she tries)
Um, hi, hairy monster. It’s all right, no one wants to hurt you.

A BEAT, SPROCKET BARKS.

RED (CONT’D)
Whoa! No, no, see what happened was, well, it was all just a big misunderstanding. Sigh, it was my big misunderstanding. I was so eager to
find a big news story that I accidentally invented one. I was just trying to find out what was going on, but I repeated something without knowing if it was true, and boy did it ever come back to haunt me. I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you.
(scared)
Please don’t be angry. Oh, please!

SHE ROLLS HER HEAD BACK, AS IF TO CRY. SPROCKET WHIMPERS SYMPATHETICALLY.

GOBO
I think it’s working, Red!

RED
I still think he’s going to eat me.

SPROCKET STARTS LICKING HER.

GOBO
No, he’s not, Red.

RED NOTICES, AND JUMPS CLEAR OUT FROM UNDER HIM, STARTLED.

RED
Yah! Then what do you call that?!

GOBO
I think it means he likes you.

RED
Really?

SHE SLOWLY APPROACHES SPROCKET, HER HAND GINGERLY OUTSTRETCHED. SPROCKET SNIFFS.

RED (CONT’D)
Are you trying to make friends?

SPROCKET YOWLS A RESPONSE, AND STARTS LICKING HER HAND.

RED (CONT’D)
(laughing)
Hey, that tickles! Oh!

SHE HUGS SPROCKET, WHO PANTS HAPPILY.

GOBO WATCHES, NODDING, THEM JUMPS AS IF STARTLED.

GOBO
Hey, what the -- where’s this water coming from?

BOOBER
Yeech!

GOBO
Come on, we’ve gotta check this out!

GOBO EXITS. THE FRAGGLE FIVE PLUS MORRIS FOLLOW.


SCENE 18

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE

THEY SPOT THE TUNNEL AND THE FLOODING WORKSHOP.

GOBO
Oh, no! He must’ve tunneled in here, and now he can’t get out! The tunnel’s flooded!

SPROCKET WHIMPERS AND HOWLS.

RED
Oh, don’t cry! We’ll think of a way to get you home, I promise!

GOBO
Hey, I’ve still got these tube vines!
(to Sprocket)
Let me show you how this works.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - LATER

SPROCKET HAS THE END OF A TUBE VINE OVER HIS NOSE AND MOUTH, WITH THE FRAGGLES HOLDING THE OTHER END.

GOBO
Ready?

ALL
Ready!

SPROCKET YOWLS A RESPONSE INTO THE VINE, WHICH COMES OUT THE OTHER END AT BOOBER’S FACE. HE JUMPS, WAVES AWAY THE SMELL.

GOBO
Okay! Go!

SPROCKET DIVES IN. GOBO AND RED FEED HIM SOME VINE WHILE MOKEY, WEMBLEY, AND BOOBER ATTACH ANOTHER ONE TO ITS END. MORRIS TAKES NOTES.

SPROCKET SWIMS THROUGH HIS TUNNEL.

GOBO (CONT’D)
Just a little bit more, and ...

SPROCKET EMERGES ON THE OTHER SIDE, SHAKING OFF THE WATER.

GOBO (CONT’D)
We did it!

ALL
Yay!

MORRIS
What a story! “Hairy Monster and Flood Grip the Rock!” It even has a happy ending! Great work, Red!

RED
I wasn’t so great, Morris. I don’t deserve to be your star reporter.

MORRIS
Oh. I understand. But who will I turn to for news now?

GOBO
Hey, why don’t you write a series on my Uncle Traveling Matt?

MORRIS
Yeah!

RED GROANS.

GOBO
Well, you can’t please everybody.

ALL LAUGH.


SCENE 17

INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - MOMENTS LATER

DOC RETURNS.

DOC
Sprocket! I’ve got the parts for the pulley system! I --
(he sees the wet floor)
Sprocket! Back up, Sprocket.

HE GETS DOWN AND PLUGS THE PIPE WITH A RAG.

DOC (CONT’D)
Sprocket, what happened?

SPROCKET POINTS EXCITEDLY AT THE HOLE.

DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, I appreciate your trying to spare my feelings Sprocket, but I can see that no imaginary little creature caused this mess. I did. I wanted so much to find the treasure under there.

SPROCKET SHAKES HIS HEAD.

DOC (CONT’D)
Well, there was so! Something made the metal detector go off, but if it weren’t for the pipes, then --
(he realizes)
Uh-oh. I think I just figured something out. It was the pipes making the metal detector go off.

SPROCKET NODS, SIGHS AND RESTS HIS CHIN IN HIS PAW.

DOC (CONT’D)
It’s just as well, it was only a rumor anyway. I went off on a crazy venture
with no reason to believe it was true. Well, from now on, I’m going to think
things through before believing in a silly rumor.

SPROCKET NODS, SATISFIED.

DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, Sprocket, you’re all wet. You smell awful.

HE LIFTS SPROCKET’S PAW.

DOC (CONT’D)
And you’ve got dirt under your arms. Must be from under the floor. Well,
first thing’s first: I’ll clean up this floor --

SPROCKET NODS.

DOC (CONT’D)
-- And then, give you a bath.

SPROCKET DOES A DOUBLE-TAKE. HE SIGHS WEARILY.


Comments welcome.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 

animalrescuer

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I liked this a lot! Good job for bringing Morris in. For some reason, he stands out for me, maybe it's because of Terry himself, he might be my favorite background character. I also applaud you for bringing additional minor characters in, too. I hope you'all write more of these!

Keep up the good work!
 

C to the J

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This is amazing! It surely would have fit right in with the other episodes. I can imagine the characters' voices saying their lines, which are dead-on, by the way. Though I do wonder if Traveling Matt had to wear a snorkel and mask or hold his breath before diving into the sea. Other than that, THIS is one good way to write fan fiction!
 

Gorgon Heap

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I liked this a lot! Good job for bringing Morris in. For some reason, he stands out for me, maybe it's because of Terry himself, he might be my favorite background character. I also applaud you for bringing additional minor characters in, too. I hope you'all write more of these!

Keep up the good work!
Thank you! I have two more ideas for episodes, not sure when I'll get around to them. In the meantime, I have plenty of Muppet Show outlines & a few scripts that are posted here!

This is amazing! It surely would have fit right in with the other episodes. I can imagine the characters' voices saying their lines, which are dead-on, by the way. Though I do wonder if Traveling Matt had to wear a snorkel and mask or hold his breath before diving into the sea. Other than that, THIS is one good way to write fan fiction!
As I was posting it, I started wondering that myself. "Hmm, how is he breathing under there?" But, it worked out when Red held her breath underwater in "Beyond the Pond", so I figured I'd give it a pass.

Thank you for the kind comments, btw! The funny thing is, once you start a scene, the characters almost seem to write themselves. They're so firmly established that, once the situation is established, you just know how they're going to react.

Beyond fleshing out Terry's character, the other impetus was my desire to have a scene of Red interacting with Sprocket, and to a lesser extent, a scene showing Sprocket in his own dog-made tunnel to Fraggle Rock.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
 
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