From 411Mania.com: Emmet Otter meets American Idol

TravellingMatt

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Emmet Otter Meets American Idol

My favorite holiday special of all-time is Jim Henson's feel-good tale of two poor otters that risk their modest assets to buy each other a memorable Christmas gift.

Of course, I am talking about none other than "Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas," which features a town-wide, Muppet-filled talent contest as its centerpiece, and includes narration by Henson staple Kermit the Frog.

I have watched every year as young Emmet Otter puts a hole in the family washtub so he can join up with his friends to form "The Frogtown Hollow Jubilee Jug-Band." Meanwhile, Emmet's mom, Alice Otter, is forced to sell Emmet's tool chest so she can sew up a nice new outfit for the talent show.

Emmet wants to put a down payment on a piano for Alice – who had to hock it after Pa Otter died – and Alice wants to win the $40 contest prize so she can blow it all on a brand new guitar with mother-of-pearl inlay for her beleaguered son. Aside from each other's impressive acts, the only thing standing in the way of the two otters' lavish dreams is the heavy metal band from the other side of town: "The Nightmare."

As it turns out, "The Nightmare" turns out to be too much to handle for Alice and the Jug-Band, and the three judges – which included sophisticated restaurant entrepreneur Doc Bullfrog and snooty rich girl Gretchen Fox – voted the bad boys from the neighboring town of Riverbottom as talent show champions.

Before shedding tears for Alice and Emmet, however, rest assured that it all works out well in the end for the two otters that took chances to give each other a little Christmas cheer. (I won't tell you exactly how it ends in case you want to check it out for yourselves.)

Whereas three judges decided the winners of the talent contest, I feel like things would have turned out differently if Simon, Paula, and Randy were around to offer their snickering comments about each performance. And if we were able to vote ourselves for the winners, I have a feeling that Alice Otter might have gotten the nod for being a soloist who outshined the two groups.

Paula would have complemented all the groups in the contest, but she would have loved Emmet's voice the most for "its sheer vulnerability."

Randy, meanwhile, would have confused all of the participants by saying "Hey dog, that was hot." There were, in fact, no dogs in the contest, but rather otters, frogs, snakes, bears, fish, muskrats, and other non-canine contestants.

Finally, Simon would have liked The Nightmare for their "accessible edginess", but he would have chided the FHJJB for being "campy and pathetic." He would have praised Alice the most, however, saying "I don't know about the dress, but talent-wise that was by far the most impressive performance of the competition." This gets a rousing ovation from the crowd, who hang on Simon's every word because he has a British accent.

After a record number of phone calls received by the American Idol machines, host Ryan Seahorse would read off the final tally, which gives Alice Otter a victory so slight that the difference in voting was less than 1 percent. The Nightmare would place second, with Emmet and his crew finishing a distant third.

Alice Otter perhaps could go from her big AI win to sell millions of copies of her debut album, "The Otter-sy" while The Nightmare's album holds steady on the heavy metal charts.

And on a sad note, Emmet Otter, after inking a deal with RCA, would most likely get dropped into oblivion due to poor sales, a weak voice, and trying to grow an Afro not fit for an otter.
 
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