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Convincing John
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- Joined
- Aug 27, 2003
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Gather round, boys and girls. It's time for another "Gilda Construction Story".
To get a better understanding of this story, remember the bird that called Wembley "Mama" and Gobo "Booboo"? Well, think of that scene where Wembley is feeding the bird all those different kinds of food, and no matter what, the bird kept saying "Yyyyeechhhh!" All right, now let's pretend that the bird is doing that, but replace the food with heaps of empty Mountain Dew cans...oh, and put a pair of headphones on the bird.
And now we can begin our story.
(Ahem)
When I built Gilda, the most challenging part was the face. After all, that's the focal point. Well, the face had to be made from clay (Sculpey), and I started construction in mid January. Due to the cold in my apartment complex, the clay kept cracking, and there was nothing I could do about it (I couldn't leave the heat on while I was at work). So some evenings I would come home and Gilda's face would have turned into (Cookie Monster impression) "A handful of crummmmmmbs..."
Finally, I found a way to keep the clay from cracking, but I had gone through six faces already (they take weeks to make). And it turned out that the seventh was just excellent! It looked just like Gilda and I felt great! It was about mid-April when I got a call from the Quad Cities Gilda's Club. It was the Executive Director of the QCGC! She said that Gilda's brother, Michael Radner, was coming to the Quad Cities and wanted to see my progress (those photos I took). All right! I said I had Gilda's face perfected and I would drop off the photos the day before he visited. He was to visit in about four days.
And so, the next step was to cook the clay. For you Sculpey people out there, you know what I'm talking about. Now the face was like a latex Halloween mask...very thin and floppy, so I had to be careful. I built a support out of tin foil for it and put the face in the oven.
Hours later, I peeked into the oven with my disposable camera in hand, and took out the face I had worked so hard on for two weeks...the only one that had turned out.
I slowly pulled out the non-stick pan, and...and...(Steve Martin impression) "Oh, NOOOOOO!!!"
The support had given way at the bottom and the sides, letting the eyes and chin stretch out way, way too much. I had in my hands an exact replica of a very feminine version of Jay Leno. (Now I have nothing at all against Jay Leno, he's cool, but I was TRYING to make GILDA!)
I looked at the monstrosity in my hands. There was no way to fix it, I was almost out of time, and Michael Radner was going to see the "perfect face" in just four days. Four days!!
Michael Radner couldn't see THAT!!!
It seemed hopeless...but then I thought of all the people at Gilda's Club who were counting on me. I thought of the money that wouldn't be gained from the auction, but most of all, I thought of how Gilda would feel if I gave up on her.
I would not give up.
I knew what I had to do.
My parents made a trip to the store for me, and got me what I needed...more Sculpey, and the only other thing that could help me now.
I hope I'm not offending any Mountain Dew fans out there, but I do NOT like Mountain Dew! My taste buds cringe at the sight of it. But it's the only thing that could keep me awake! Those Red Bull energy drinks don't cut it. Coffee, even the blackest, strongest coffee is useless, too. I don't care how strong it is. Even if I went to Brazil and ate a huge pile of coffee beans straight out of the fields, I'd fall asleep like Fozzie in the Studebaker. ("I'm still wide awake!...ZZZZZZZZ!)
So, Mountain Dew was my only option. I rolled up my sleeves, looked warily at the two 12 packs of Mt. Dew in front of me, and began to work. I had a couple cans, and make quite a bit of progress (while imitating Mokey's reaction to okra soup).
Folks, on that first night, (a Friday) I stayed up until 2 A.M. sculpting. I woke up around 8, and took 2 hours off. Then I sculpted all day, and later that evening, I began to get tired again. I called my sister. She's a big Mountain Dew fan, and she told me to drink can after can until I was full. That way, I could stay up later. She was right! After about four cans, my eyes forgot how to blink. If you want to know what I looked like, remember that "Muppetism" with Bunsen and Beaker...
Bunsen: "Now we've figured out exactly HOW much caffiene is TOO much caffiene!" (Give Beaker a half empty box of Sculpey and some pictures of Gilda Radner and that's pretty close to what I looked like)!
But to make sure I stayed up ALL night, I put on my headphones and played my CD's as I worked. Janis Joplin, Jethro Tull, Gloria Estefan and other bands played on as I gurgled down can after can of that Mountain Dew which I EXTREMELY did not like!...(now let's imagine Wembley's bird again). And so, on it went all night until about 3 A.M. (Sunday)...
gurgle, gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhhh!"...gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhh!"
Gloria Estefan at 2:15 A.M. "Come on, shake your body, baby, do the Conga!"
gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhhh!".....gurgle, gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhh!"
I would not give up on Gilda...but oh, that Mountain Dew!!! "Yyyecchh!"
After about five hours of "sleep", I started in again. 12 hours and 16 cans of Mountain Dew later,
my eyes were all blurry, and I wanted to sleep. I was out of Mountain Dew, and I had to go to work early the next morning. Ian Anderson played the final notes on my Jethro Tull CD, and I took off my headphones. I stood up and nearly stepped on one of the Mountain Dew cans I had emptied hours ago.
I looked at the clay I had been working on...and I saw Gilda's face looking back at me. She was smiling that smile of hers, and she looked a hundred times better than the old face I had made!
Needless to say, that face was the one that's on the Gilda statue now, and I ended up documenting the whole story to Michael Radner...starting over on a new face, the Mountain Dew, pretty much everything I typed up here. I dropped the photos of the new face off at the Gilda's Club Quad Cities...and he liked 'em!
And that was worth EVERY Mountain Dew I had to drink! 
Tune in again soon for another "Gilda Construction Story".
Convincing John
To get a better understanding of this story, remember the bird that called Wembley "Mama" and Gobo "Booboo"? Well, think of that scene where Wembley is feeding the bird all those different kinds of food, and no matter what, the bird kept saying "Yyyyeechhhh!" All right, now let's pretend that the bird is doing that, but replace the food with heaps of empty Mountain Dew cans...oh, and put a pair of headphones on the bird.
And now we can begin our story.
(Ahem)
When I built Gilda, the most challenging part was the face. After all, that's the focal point. Well, the face had to be made from clay (Sculpey), and I started construction in mid January. Due to the cold in my apartment complex, the clay kept cracking, and there was nothing I could do about it (I couldn't leave the heat on while I was at work). So some evenings I would come home and Gilda's face would have turned into (Cookie Monster impression) "A handful of crummmmmmbs..."
Finally, I found a way to keep the clay from cracking, but I had gone through six faces already (they take weeks to make). And it turned out that the seventh was just excellent! It looked just like Gilda and I felt great! It was about mid-April when I got a call from the Quad Cities Gilda's Club. It was the Executive Director of the QCGC! She said that Gilda's brother, Michael Radner, was coming to the Quad Cities and wanted to see my progress (those photos I took). All right! I said I had Gilda's face perfected and I would drop off the photos the day before he visited. He was to visit in about four days.
And so, the next step was to cook the clay. For you Sculpey people out there, you know what I'm talking about. Now the face was like a latex Halloween mask...very thin and floppy, so I had to be careful. I built a support out of tin foil for it and put the face in the oven.
Hours later, I peeked into the oven with my disposable camera in hand, and took out the face I had worked so hard on for two weeks...the only one that had turned out.
I slowly pulled out the non-stick pan, and...and...(Steve Martin impression) "Oh, NOOOOOO!!!"
The support had given way at the bottom and the sides, letting the eyes and chin stretch out way, way too much. I had in my hands an exact replica of a very feminine version of Jay Leno. (Now I have nothing at all against Jay Leno, he's cool, but I was TRYING to make GILDA!)
I looked at the monstrosity in my hands. There was no way to fix it, I was almost out of time, and Michael Radner was going to see the "perfect face" in just four days. Four days!!
Michael Radner couldn't see THAT!!!It seemed hopeless...but then I thought of all the people at Gilda's Club who were counting on me. I thought of the money that wouldn't be gained from the auction, but most of all, I thought of how Gilda would feel if I gave up on her.
I would not give up.
I knew what I had to do.
My parents made a trip to the store for me, and got me what I needed...more Sculpey, and the only other thing that could help me now.
I hope I'm not offending any Mountain Dew fans out there, but I do NOT like Mountain Dew! My taste buds cringe at the sight of it. But it's the only thing that could keep me awake! Those Red Bull energy drinks don't cut it. Coffee, even the blackest, strongest coffee is useless, too. I don't care how strong it is. Even if I went to Brazil and ate a huge pile of coffee beans straight out of the fields, I'd fall asleep like Fozzie in the Studebaker. ("I'm still wide awake!...ZZZZZZZZ!)
So, Mountain Dew was my only option. I rolled up my sleeves, looked warily at the two 12 packs of Mt. Dew in front of me, and began to work. I had a couple cans, and make quite a bit of progress (while imitating Mokey's reaction to okra soup).
Folks, on that first night, (a Friday) I stayed up until 2 A.M. sculpting. I woke up around 8, and took 2 hours off. Then I sculpted all day, and later that evening, I began to get tired again. I called my sister. She's a big Mountain Dew fan, and she told me to drink can after can until I was full. That way, I could stay up later. She was right! After about four cans, my eyes forgot how to blink. If you want to know what I looked like, remember that "Muppetism" with Bunsen and Beaker...
Bunsen: "Now we've figured out exactly HOW much caffiene is TOO much caffiene!" (Give Beaker a half empty box of Sculpey and some pictures of Gilda Radner and that's pretty close to what I looked like)!
But to make sure I stayed up ALL night, I put on my headphones and played my CD's as I worked. Janis Joplin, Jethro Tull, Gloria Estefan and other bands played on as I gurgled down can after can of that Mountain Dew which I EXTREMELY did not like!...(now let's imagine Wembley's bird again). And so, on it went all night until about 3 A.M. (Sunday)...
gurgle, gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhhh!"...gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhh!"
Gloria Estefan at 2:15 A.M. "Come on, shake your body, baby, do the Conga!"
gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhhh!".....gurgle, gurgle, gurgle..."Yyyyecchhh!"
I would not give up on Gilda...but oh, that Mountain Dew!!! "Yyyecchh!"
After about five hours of "sleep", I started in again. 12 hours and 16 cans of Mountain Dew later,
my eyes were all blurry, and I wanted to sleep. I was out of Mountain Dew, and I had to go to work early the next morning. Ian Anderson played the final notes on my Jethro Tull CD, and I took off my headphones. I stood up and nearly stepped on one of the Mountain Dew cans I had emptied hours ago.I looked at the clay I had been working on...and I saw Gilda's face looking back at me. She was smiling that smile of hers, and she looked a hundred times better than the old face I had made!
Needless to say, that face was the one that's on the Gilda statue now, and I ended up documenting the whole story to Michael Radner...starting over on a new face, the Mountain Dew, pretty much everything I typed up here. I dropped the photos of the new face off at the Gilda's Club Quad Cities...and he liked 'em!
And that was worth EVERY Mountain Dew I had to drink! Tune in again soon for another "Gilda Construction Story".
Convincing John
I love the way you think of things....Geez, I can't imagine actually working ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT like that....And not dying. Hope you've caught up on your sleep SINCE then!!! 