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Harassment from an MC Member

Discussion in 'Feedback' started by BeakerSqueedom, Mar 11, 2010.

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  1. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Active Member

    Stop Harassment on Muppet Central:

    A/N: For privacy reasons, no specific names shall be mentioned in this post.

    Whether or not any of you have noticed yet., one of our most well-known members has been banned. You may find this act absurd and confusing, you might find this unfair, but please regard that this didn't happen for any mere reason. This member has what we could call a strong animosity for another on this site because of a rivalry that spurred out of something that doesn't need to be revealed. Sometimes envy brings out the worst in us and sometimes we can't let grudges go but this went too far. Although said members have had each other on ignore, the bullying from the banned person to the victim still continued despite many attempts to put it to an end. No matter how many warnings the member got, the abuse still went on until this night. Why is this? Is it out of pure spite? Did the banned person just yearn to start a flame fight?

    Pathetic. That is all that can sum up these cowardly acts. Truly unnecessary and pathetic. It's no different than a high school clique, the way this person manipulates and creates bad reputations for others when something falls apart for their relationships.Whether the person wants to accuse anybody or not and build even more false and insulting reps, they have nobody to blame but themselves for getting kicked off.

    We're completely appalled by this person's actions and behavior. Sure, maybe there are instances where we just can't all get along with each other, but does one come to MC to kick the dirt into another's face all the time? Are they thriving off the drama? It isn't clear but there is absolutely no excuse to target somebody just because you don't agree with them or like them.

    The banned individual would usually taunt the victim subtly, referring to him as what we perceive as a very rude name, Frank Burns. Now, although my knowledge on MASH is very limited, from what I can gather is that Frank Burns was the character who was isolated, sniveling, and whom nobody really liked. Is that funny or what? Wouldn't YOU just like to be referred to as a loser in plain view of everybody as well? Apparently at the end of the series, he goes unstable and that's the last we hear of him. Now permit me to ask you members this, do you think the nickname was all in good fun or do you believe that the means in it were out of hate? Like this person or not, nobody should have to go to a place they used to love to be endlessly provoked. The victim who shall not be disclosed is not as popular as the banned person and has been subjected to many false and insidious rumors about who he or she truly is on the inside.

    Let me just say this; you never know who somebody truly is on their interior unless you have actually spoken with them and got to know them better. This can go both ways with the banned individual who appeared to be fairly liked and the victim who would usually avoid being under anybody's radar. Perhaps if we all opened our minds a little, we could see beneath the surface and understand that no matter how kind or how eccentric one may act or look, there is a side wanting to provoke their enemy and a side yearning for acceptance.

    This a muppet site for goodness sake, a place where people want to avoid drama, not be plunged into it day in and day out. The banned member knew exactly what he or she was doing and he or she was starting a useless war that was never going to be won by either of them.

    We're not demanding you believe in another's story and take sides but we ask that as a community and as a individual, whether you too have been a victim or a bully, that you open your mind up to what really goes on in the depths of MC. It's not always fun and games and some people are truly hurtful and others have suffered for too long. Breakdowns and suicides can occur from these sorts of situations and people need to finally listen. It's not a playful farce as some might speculate; it's the real deal.

    We thank you for taking your time to read this and hopefully have been enlightened. If you or anybody else has been personally mistreated, whether it was a private or public ordeal, please do not feel guilty or timid to share it. This thread was designed to help and to do away with the drama once and for all.

    - Beakersqueedom & Whiterabbit
  2. dmoss

    dmoss Member

    Wowzers, I had no idea that this was even going on...I've seen the usual arguments and disagreements lately, but nothing to this extent. I guess I need to broaden what I'm reading around here, and which of the boards I visit!

    Terribly sorry to hear that someone was getting bullied. It's a crying shame to think that around here, the place where Muppet-Lovers come to visit, and share their mutual fascination with puppetry, and someone as timid as Jim Henson, things like this go on. Very disappointing, but encouraging to know that the bully has been banned (or suspended?). I can't figure out who it was that was banned, but I guess if I have to ask who, I have no reason to know. :p

    Thanks for the heads-up, Beaker. :)
  3. dwayne1115

    dwayne1115 Well-Known Member

    Well I have not been on here as much as sometimes, but I just had a feeling trouble was a brewing.
  4. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    I agree with you Dwayne. I have sensed the antagonism under the skin for a long time in general. It's sad that MC has been such a potentially hostile place for ages and we need to work together to smooth things out with the proper control in future. :(

    Please take note of this everybody.

    EDIT I have just realized who it is that was banned and I won't say who either. But I'm very shocked and saddened. That is all I'll say. :cry:
  5. King Rupert

    King Rupert Member

    I know nothing about any of this... but as a moderator of another forum I can tell you there's something in the air lately. We had to ban 3 people yesterday for similar things.

    It's a message board people, relax!
  6. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    I honestly don't know how to respond to this. Harassment? Bullying? Creating false and insidious rumors? Abuse? If this is really how the banned person is being described, then I think that far from solving the problem and leaving the moderators to deal with the problem, by describing the banned member in such derogatory terms that you are now bullying the banned member in your own way, yourselves. Especially when the member does not have any chance to defend themselves here.

    MC is not a popularity contest, and it is not simply the popularity of the member that I am taking into account here, but rather years of knowing them, I highly doubt that they would intentionally hurt or injure anyone out of spite -- rather this must have been a misunderstanding or done out of ignorance.

    I honestly have no idea what to write about this it makes me feel so sickened that people who act out of ignorance would be then described as doing those things out of spite and malice.

    Someone once set fire to my house as a joke while on drugs -- I didn't think they did it out of malice for a second, but rather understand that whatever they did, they did out of ignorance and that far from pointing them out as a menace and locked away, they should be given a chance to learn from their mistakes by being taught new ways to view the world.
  7. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    Thank you Beau for those words. I agree with them all the way. This person is a very dear friend of mine and I can't believe he or she would do anything wrong on purpose either.
  8. Beakerfan

    Beakerfan Active Member

    I wasn't going to say anything because I don't want to get involved, but I will say this:

    I feel this thread is very unnecessary and mean-spirited. It disappoints me, and in no way does it support the Jim Henson spirit. Whether or not what is said in the initial post is true, there is a reason we have mods: so all this drama can be dealt with on a one-on-one basis. There was no need for all of this to be shared with the rest of MC, and no need for a "protest".

    I think this thread should be locked because all it will do is cause bad feelings towards loved members of MC.
  9. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Wow, the entire situation just saddens me to the core. I am not taking sides on anything, but I can say that it makes me want to hang around here less and I already hardly come around anymore. I wish all of you peace. That is all I can say. Peace.
  10. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Active Member

    That was the intention. Please read before assuming otherwise, ok? I did not mean to make this one giant controversy.

    I had permission to post this up because it was with a good intention to enlighten those who have been inclined to teasing, no matter how innocent (not all people take jokes lightly).

    This wasn't made to assault a member; it was made to raise awareness that there have been quarrels in the past that need to be stopped.

    Thank you.
  11. WhiteRabbit

    WhiteRabbit Well-Known Member

    As a contributor to half of what was written above, I have to say that I think some of you didn't quite absorb all of what was stated. Now before I get attacked by the onslaught of flames, I want to say that when you are finally pushed to your limit, you may get carried away with your emotions and let too much be released out there. This was not meant to be a post of castigation, no matter how harsh some of the descriptions may seem. This was the only way to get the honesty of what has really been going on out there and you all shouldn't expect it to be sugar coated to begin with.

    First off, I could understand if this was all in innocent and sarcastic fun, I could understand if the member was behaving just out of ignorance, but here's the thing; when is it just too much? The member was asked politely and in private several times to please stop and leave the latter member alone. Now, if you really think it was just a game, don't you suppose the member would quit after a while? No. He/She continued and kicked the other until they were down, even after taking up the issue with the mods too. Where is the fairness in that?

    I've been picked on and teased so much before and let me say that when a person doesn't stop when you've asked them to, even after an adult/teacher/parent intervenes, there's definitely a problem. This issue hasn't just happened overnight, this didn't just spur because of a bad vibe in the air--this has been going for more than a year. To be honest, as a community, you've only been given a snippet of what's been going on and you can't make assumptions of what really happened unless you have taken part in trying to settle the past fights like Claudia and I have. It's not a protest, we just want the old MC back and it's never going to return if the problems just go censored/blocked/ignored/deleted rather than taken care of.

    Look, it's obvious that you aren't, Beau. You've never had an uncivil thing to say about anybody from what I've seen. I'm certain you wouldn't want or intend for the site's status to be that way, but to somebody like Claudia, me, and quite a few others, it is a popularity contest--an extreme one. Sure, I'm aware that it hasn't always been this way. At first, we felt welcomed, because we were new, harmless, and quiet. But little by little, the site's atmosphere evolved and we were thrown into the "outcast clique" for not agreeing with everything the longtime members said and having a different view of things, both fandom and non-fandom related. When you've only been on here for a year or two, three at the most, there is a sense of isolation from those who have been on there four to even eight years. There are exceptions to this, but this is speaking from some of my and other friends' experiences. Recognition and popularity does come into play when it all boils down to it and whose opinion gets supported or listened to the most. There are some loved members on here who wouldn't feel inclined to acknowledge me, unless I was saying something they didn't approve of or I practically had to beg to get them to say something. It might not be true but it feels like our words are beneath them.

    It's gotten to the point where I don't care about what others think anymore but that doesn't mean I'm going to hang aside and let other people be screwed with. I've retreated to the dorms and the fanfic threads because it's gotten that bad where I can't evoke even the slightest comment without somebody, in general terms, lashing me out for it. If we say the wrong thing, we get eaten alive. Not everybody is as thick skinned as they're expected to be.

    I even remember a situation, although the post was removed, where the individual told the other that, "Nobody really cares what you have to say, Frank." No "JK's" or smiles or anything. Just blunt. It might have been deleted, but I don't forget how cold it was. Is that really a joke or am I missing something here? Again, this isn't to start a war/protest/whatever other stupid thing people wanna call it. All we want is some sense that things are gonna change around MC and evidently they weren't from the battles going back and forth.
  12. frogboy4

    frogboy4 Inactive Member

    I have no clue what this is about. Like any family we can get on one another's nerves at times here on the forum. Obviously something went beyond that. I'm perplexed and entirely clueless, but that's nothing new. :confused:

    Edit - I still don't know what happened, but I am sad this member is gone. I know this particular MCer has been going through some hard times and maybe some of that angst came out here. Maybe something else happened. All I can do is trust that the mods did their job and hopefully things will eventually smooth out. There's never any need for harassment. It has happened to me here before and I figured out ways around it - to make peace and find common ground. Sometimes that just isn't enough.

    No matter what happened, how it happened, who was wronged or who did the wronging - it is still a sad day for Muppet Central. :sympathy:
  13. dmoss

    dmoss Member

    I kind of agree with this; I know I'm a lurker, but I feel like every time I post, I'm trying to impress someone, or make some kind of statement that will help me be known, or something. It's rough out here for a lurker...it's also rough getting a thread off the ground. :(
  14. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    I'm just going to comment on this part for a moment -- Every one of us felt like an outcast at MC at sometime. When I arrived, I was obviously trying to impress the more awesome long-time members. My very first thread I was mocked for miss-spelling Beauregard (I spelt in Bovegard...tsk tsk, younger me.)

    But I got back, found my space and kept jumping back into the thick of things regardless. The senior members were playing in Hot Tubs, I dug my way in. The senior members were obsessed with Bill B, I bought a new pair of binoculars.

    MC only has cliques where people make them for themselves. For example, those who only post in Dorms and Gameplay...well, when they venture out, it will take us a while to remember who they are, what their character is, and what they have to add to a conversation.

    If I had always remained in the BBB thread -- no doubt by now I'd have had a restraining order against me :p

    "Trying to impress" will impress no one, being yourself, having something funny and intelligent to add to a conversation, will.

    Is everyone's opinion always the same? No. I used to hate that Gonzo was an alien, and thought that Whoopi as God was horrendously disrespectful. I aired my opinions on these matters, stirring things up for a bit, people disagreed, people thought I was being disrespectful for finding Whoopi as God disrespectful...But I also had some weight to my own arguments, and over time those opinions came to matter too.

    I'm not accusing anyone of lying, and I guess I believe you when you say it, but I just cannot for even a moment entertain the notion that this member did this out of hate or spite.

    Remember when almost every single post I made resulted in iced-tea or water being thrown on me by The Count? At the time, I got annoyed, and it didn't stop after PM's, because he thought it was funny while I didn't. Eventually, I just came to take it in the spirit it was intended (and bought an umbrella). And later, through many conversations, it stopped.

    I never considered this to be bullying or harassment...although I easily could have.
  15. Skeeter Muppet

    Skeeter Muppet Active Member

    But that's just you, Beau. Just because you may not see something as bullying or harassment doesn't mean that someone else won't see it that way.

    Everyone's yardsticks are different.

    -Kim
  16. WhiteRabbit

    WhiteRabbit Well-Known Member

    It's a relief to see that somebody who's been on MC a long time (meaning no rudeness here, but it's true that you're more liked than somebody like me--I just know it from being around for a while,) knows where myself and a few others are coming from. I wish I could say it was a temporary circumstance that me and a few others were shunned, but when it's been a couple years and I have tried over and over again to become friendly with people, it's frustrating to hardly ever receive anything back.

    If it counts for anything, the reason I stayed in the dorms and the fanart threads was because they seem to be the least hostile area on here and I felt like I wasn't getting a foot shoved down my throat just for existing. It might seem antisocial to hang back in them, but in its own way but I felt accepted in those two, even more than in the Friends and Family section.

    I understand what you mean and had this been happening to me, I wouldn't have been so upset because I know how to take sarcasm, but some other people I hang out with just don't cope as easily. I can't change who they are but I stick by them because they've accepted me for who I am. It's not that they can't comprehend whether a harmless jab or legitimate insult is being thrown at them, but I think being an outsider gives a person a good idea of what it's like to be always hurt and it doesn't exactly help a person's self esteem. When it comes to dealing with getting taunted, often they don't have a lot of luck because they've been neglected and stepped on so much. I wish I could approach this problem in a lighter way but sometimes, people don't have the notion that others are more sensitive than they realize.
  17. Winslow Leach

    Winslow Leach Active Member

    Trust us, it was done out of hate and spite, and it is harassment; I know the victim, and he/she is an extremely sensitive individual; and yes, he/she knows the difference between a joke and abusive bullying. Suppose the victim of these taunts was pushed so far, he/she ended up committing suicide? How funny would the taunts be then?
  18. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Then I seriously suggest that MC become a place where humour is entirely erased.
  19. Skeeter Muppet

    Skeeter Muppet Active Member

    Oh, clap clap clap...way to fix everything, Beau. :rolleyes:

    -Kim
  20. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Oh, but you know I was only joking with that response. Trying to keep things light. Don't worry, I'm also scurrying about behind the scenes trying to figure out what's going on.


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