Hensonville City 2011

Zoot: *turns a page silently, trying to ignore the kid* ...

Blind Pew: I am not comparing monzelf! I am zimply zaying zat I'm bettair! =P Wheech eez true, eez it not?

Zoot: No.

Blind Pew: I wazn't azking zyou, whiny! D<

Elizabeth: *tugs on RF's arm* Roosevelt, leave the old man alone. He's a nice old man. =/ Let's play Mouse Trap!

Blind Pew: Nobody eez made of awezome like zee Pew eez!

Zoot: ... *calmly turns another page*

RF: YAY! MOUSETRAP! But I don't wanna play the game. I just wanna build the trap, 'cause that's the best part.

Wayne: You wish you could be like me too, Zoot. I know you secretly long to have a following, be it here or in Japan. And I know you wish you had my looks, don't deny it. Golly, if I looked like you, I'd take a leap off the roof of this place.

Lefty glides in, long black Dracula cape over his nose and mouth.

Lefty: FSSSSS! FSSSSS!

Floyd: *cracks up*

Lefty (waves hand at Floyd) FSSSSS!

Wayne: Such immaturity.

Blind Pew: Watch zee true zcharmer at work! *throwing back the curtains, flashing a "dashing" smile to an old lady crossing the street*

Old Lady: AAAAAAAAAAH! D= The king of the gremlins is back! *falls over*

Blind Pew: Zee? Zey faint over moi!

Elizabeth: But I don't want to hurt the poor little mice! What about Chutes and Laddahs?

Zoot: *throws the book at Wayne and storms out of the common room* >_> ... *makes a beeline towards Wanda's room*

Wayne: Ha. Ha, I say. At least the women who swoon and faint over me aren't repulsed. I take at least twelve showers before noon. I don't even want to know the last time you took a shower, Davy Jones.

RF: We ain't hurting the mouse. He's only plastic. Chutes and Ladders is fun too. And Candyland. I think that was the fat man's favorite game. You weren't here when the fat man roomed with us. You woulda had fun with him. Just picture Baby Huey as a fifty-year-old man, but with the mentality of a two-year-old. That was the fat man.

Floyd (to Lefty) Count Chocula?

Lefty: FSSSSS!

Wanda (to Zoot) ...so Wayne's bragging about how wonderful he is again, huh?

Ailie: *sitting on a bar stool, holding Sammy on her lap and watching the keyboard player* Kind of empty here today, huh? XP

Sammy: O_O

Dr. Teeth: *cleaning a glass* You don' needa tell meh twice, girl. =/ It's been like a ghos' town this whole week. It ain't been good fo' biz.

Ailie: I'm sure some people will come in later. Maybe I could try to convince them? *holds up a baseball bat*

Dr. Teeth: *shakes his head*

Ailie: *changes the subject* Er...so...I have to write this essay for Creative Writing that has something to do with Black History Month. I don't know what to write about, though. What's a lesser known topic? I figured you'd be the best person to ask because y--

Dr. Teeth: ...

Ailie: *changes the subject again* I like pumpkin pie. It's so pumpkiny...and pie-like.

Cait: *sitting besides Ailie, her head on the bar* *muffled* And where is our summer of the lifetime?

Janice: Like, Cait, are you okay?

Cait: *lifts head up* I want a pony that medhabolagahbah... *headtable*

Janice: ... *to Dr. Teeth* Like, what this place rully needs is like, some big publicity thing, you know?

Cait: *lifts head up again* My parents say I need a job. Know any place that's hiring?

Janice: Cait, like, you haven't been yourself lately...

Cait: I can't think of anything. My mind's braindead... XPPP

Julia: *sulking in the corner*

Rizzo: What's wrong, Jules?

Julia: My computer is on the fritz. It has a terrible virus.

Pepe: Aww, I am sorry, chica.

Julia: I just hope it's okay. I'm gonna take it in to be looked at tomorrow. My whole life is on that thing...

Rizzo: I'm sure it'll turn out all right. Besides, I've got something to cheer you up.

Julia: Oh? And what's that?

Rizzo: *turns on music*

Pepe: Dance par-tay!

Julia: H'oh boy!

*and the dance party commences*

~In the common room...~

Blind Pew: *watching Step Brothers* A-HAW-HAW-HAW! Look at what Will Ferrell juzzt deed! Zat eez comedic timing at eet'z finezt!

Ailie: *laughing like Patrick* BUH HUH HUH! Look at what that other guy did! And in public! He be so outrageous!

Blind Pew: HAW HAW HEE HAW! I would do zat too!

Ailie: You do it every day! =B

Both: AH HURR HURR HURR HAH HAH HEE HAW!

Zoot: *sitting on the far left side of the couch, trying to write* *glances up at them slowly* >_>

Wayne: You people are watching trash! How can you learn anything by looking at this bull doody. (holds up tape) This is a production of The Mikado, in which I portrayed Nanki-Poo. Two hours of this, and you'll forget all about adolescent humor. (tosses tape to Blind Pew) Watch it. Now.

Lefty: Butkus, why don't ya go back to da terlet store where ya came from? Dere lookin' fer ya.

Wayne: You sir are a disgrace.

Lefty: An' youse live in da terlet store. (screams in Wayne's face) MACAW!

turns and flaps his arms.

Lefty: MACAW!

runs across room, stumbles and falls headfirst out window.

Blind Pew: *pushes Wayne out of the way* Zyou are blocking zee hilarity. -_-

Ailie: Don't you have to star in The Sound of Butkus and force Wanda into a silly bonnet or something? XP

Blind Pew: HAW! Zat waz a knee-zlapper, waz eet not?

Ailie: It was. =B

Blind Pew: *holds his sides and falls off the couch, choking with laughter*

Zoot: ... >_>

Wayne: You can insult me all you want, but--

Lefty: 'Ey Butkus, dat wouldn't happen to be a how ya say silk suit yer wearin', would it?

Wayne: Yes it is. And it's worth more than your life!

Lefty sneezes loudly and violently all over Wayne's coat.

Floyd: *laughs/hacks*

Wayne: O_O

Floyd: *bangs head against wall*

Wayne: O_O

Pepe: So, if I were these jeggings, I catch all the women, h'okay?

Julia: Oh yeah. Totally. You'll be the talk of the town.

Pepe: H'oh boy!

Rizzo: Uh... Pepe...

Julia: Don't ruin this for me, Rizzo!

Wayne sits at a table, writing.

Lefty strides in, dressed as a cowboy.

Lefty: What are ya doin', creampuff?

Wayne: Nothing.

Lefty: Don't look like nuttin', pardner. I said what are ya doin'?

Wayne: If you must know, I'm working on my autobiography.

Lefty: Whass dat?

Wayne: If you don't know, I'm not telling you.

Lefty snatches pencil from Wayne.

Lefty: Ya can't do yer mook writin' witout dis magic stick what puts dose funny lines an' squiggles all over da place.

Wayne: Give that back!

Lefty: Naw. It's mine now. (breaks pencil into several pieces) Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! (throws pieces to floor) Dat'll loyn ya!

Wayne: Why do you persist in tormenting me?

Lefty: I 'unno. Maybe it's on accounta I don't like yer pointy nose. Er yer monkey voice. Feh!

strides away.

~And now we will travel into the subconscious of a pirate...~

Blind Pew: *walking down a random hall* Ehhh...where am I again? Where eez mon peanut buttair crunch?

Ailie and a doppelganger: Come play with us, Blind Pew. Come play with us... O_O

Blind Pew: O____o

Ailie and Ailie #2: Forever........and ever..........and ever!

Blind Pew: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ailie and Ailie #2: *the pair lock arms and they start swinging the other's partner* HA HA HA HA HA--HURR! A-HURR! >B

Blind Pew: NOOOOOOOOOOOON!

~Reality...~

Blind Pew: *wakes up* AAAAAAH! NON! Not two weird girlz! Not zee zquare-dancing! Anyzing but zat! D=

Dr. Teeth: *comes back from putting Sammy to bed* ...the he ll you talkin' 'bout, Blind Pew?

~Meanwhile...~

Zoot: *lying on Wanda's bed* Zzzzz...

Lefty pops up on the side of Wanda's bed; he does a startled double-take when he sees Zoot; he rises, and tiptoes to Wanda's dresser; he opens top drawer and searches; pulls random pair of panties out and puts them on head.

Opens second drawer; finds Wanda's pocketbook; looks right, left; opens bag and dumps contents on dresser; begins pocketing money, credit cards, makeup, car keys, etc.; creeps to bed, and carefully drops empty bag next to Zoot; sneaks out of room.

Floyd: Hey Butkus, sing any lame songs lately? *laughs*

Wayne: No. Only good songs.

Floyd: That's what I said, man. Lame. *cackles*

Wayne: Don't you...have to be a hippie somewhere you...you...hippie?

Floyd:

Wayne: Yeah. I told you!

Floyd: *laughs/coughs/hacks*

Blind Pew: Do zyou not zee zem, zee long-armed one? Zey are everywhere zyou turn! O_O

Dr. Teeth: See what? Who's everywheah? The cops?

Blind Pew: Non! Zee clones of zee weird girl! Zey--zey want me to tap-dance! Non, I weel not tap-dance! Zyou can't make me, zyou demons! *latches onto the keyboard player's leg* Make eet ztop! X_x

Dr. Teeth: *stiffly* Pew, do not touch meh. O___o

Zoot: *twitches* ...Zzzzzz...ketchup...

Wanda comes out of kitchen; stops when she sees empty pocketbook next to Zoot.

Wanda: Um. Sasha? Sasha? (picks up bag and looks inside) What the...? (shakes Zoot) Sasha, wake up! I've been robbed!

Lefty scurries into the apartment, underwear still on his head.

RF: Lefty?

Lefty: Don't talk ta me, Buckwheat.

RF: Yeah but--

Lefty: I said don't talk ta me, Cosby.

RF: WHY DO YOU HAVE PANTIES ON YOUR HEAD?

beat.

Lefty: What are ya gabbin' about, Webster?

RF: Yo, better knock it off with the names, Pesci.

Lefty: It's a waste of time talkin' ta youse.

RF: YOU'RE A CREEP! (kicks Lefty in the stomach and runs away) HEE!

the mook falls to his knees, gasping.

Zoot: ACK! *falls off of the bed, startled* What? Who? Rob? Who's Rob? O_O Is he somebody I should know about? -_-

Elizabeth: Lefty fell down! YAY! X3

Blind Pew: Zee dancing eez everywhere...I can't ezcape eet... O_____o

Elizabeth: ... *doesn't say anything to Blind Pew and follows RF out*

Wanda: Nooooo. My pocketbook is empty! I mean everything's gone! Even the pens. Did you see anything or anyone? I was only in the kitchen five minutes.

Lefty (groans) ...my insides is...broken...

RF: Hi Liz! Wanna play GTA? Or do you wanna go outside and build a snow fort?

Floyd: ...the frog we used to work for was green...

Zoot: O_O It--what? Oh my gawd...no, I didn't see anyone. I mean, uhhh, I saw the back of my eye-lids...because I was asleep... *hangs head* Ummm, I'll help you look for it, though. It was probably Blind Pew or something... =/

Elizabeth: I wanna watch Thumblina! Let's watch Thumbelina! :3

Blind Pew: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!