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How I Spent My Summer Vacation (A Muppet Fic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Fan Art' started by charlietheowl, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thanks to both of you for the kind words! As far as I know, Three's Company Live was (thankfully? sadly?) a creation of my own mind. But, everyone has to start somewhere.
  2. Slackbot Well-Known Member

    Snerk! I could see this in my mind as I read it, and by the end I could hear Piggy's voice as she came one step from losing it completely. I think this needs a sequel titled "The Totally Justified Bludgeoning of Link Hogthrob."
    newsmanfan and charlietheowl like this.
  3. newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    You don't really even need to write that, though...the title pretty much covers it.
    ----------------
  4. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    How did I miss this? Why did I miss this?

    I'm with everyone on this, this is just great, and I love how each chapter seems to spiral more and more out of control. So loved Piggy & Link; I half expected her to ask Annie Sue to make sure that next time there was a second iced tea for her with more ice and less tea, if you know what I mean.

    I also loved the police report on Chef; I have been to hibachi and I can just see how an eight ring onion-cano could ignite a fire. After that, I so am waiting for whatever debaucherous plans Gonzo has.
    charlietheowl likes this.
  5. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Slackbot: The sequel will actually be called "How A Rolled-Up Script Can Send Someone To the Hospital", but your title covers the subject material as well.

    WebMistressGina: Thank you! Some characters will actually have things go somewhat their way, but writing messy scenes are that much funnier. And don't worry about Gonzo, he's got some plans up his sleeve. :concern:
  6. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Here's the latest installment of the series, which includes not only Animal, Lips, and Zoot, but 4 (FOUR!) top secret cameos from other Muppets. Get excited, people.

    ------------------------------------
    When The Morning Light Passes Through The Windows of The Electric Mayhem Bus You Can See Clearly (How Messy It Really Is)

    ***********

    Scene: The Electric Mayhem Bus. A truly psychedelically decorated vehicle, the bus should evoke the looming images of fast food bags and sparsely attended gigs in Wichita, Kansas (no offense to all you in Wichita). There are instrument cases scattered about the seats of the bus, guitars, saxophones, other string instruments, even a triangle. In the back of the bus, a makeshift bed has been made by flipping the back of one seat down into the base of another.

    Here is where you will find Zoot, the slightly unkempt saxophone player. Sleeping in his usual semi-bohemian clothing, even with his glasses still on, Zoot looks as if he is used to such uncomfortable beds. This may even be one of the most comfortable. Using his hat as a stand-in pillow, Zoot's stringy hair flips widely over his head as he breathes in and out.

    Across from Zoot, sits his fellow musician Animal. He has fallen asleep sitting up, head lying against his chest, letting out quite the window-shaking snores. His shreds of clothing move with the forces of his snores, but the one thing that does not move are the drumsticks in his hands, which are tightly gripped like a sort of security blanket. His small feet are chained to the base of his seat, a precautionary measure taken by Floyd before him and Janice left for the day.

    While Zoot and Animal sleep through the early morning, Beauregard steps outside the Muppet Boarding House and lifts often the garage door, to take out a leaf blower. It's time to clean out the gutters. As the leaf blower is slowly wound up, Zoot's peaceful sleep is broken.

    Zoot (sleepily, hand scratching his head): What?

    Leaf blower continues blasting in the background, while Zoot lazily sits up and places his hat on his head, smoothing out his hair.

    Zoot (looking out window): Oh. Beauregard. The leaf blower.

    Zoot slowly makes his way to the middle of the bus, gingerly opening up an instrument case, which contains his livelihood, his lover, his therapist, his everything, his nothing, his something. His saxophone. He picks the instrument, sits down in the seat, and begins softly blowing a tune, which is barely perceptible over the din of Beauregard's leaf blower.

    As Zoot plays, Beauregard continues to blow leaves around, but is momentarily distracted by a motorcycle whooshing up the street at dangerous speeds that may or not have been driven by Rizzo. While turning around, Beauregard inadvertently drops the leaf blower, which begins bucking wildly as if it has been possessed by the spirit of a mechanical bull. The leaf blower gallops throughout the yard, while Beauregard nobly chases it around in a fruitless pursuit.

    Zoot (looking out other window): The leaf blower. Beauregard. Oh.

    Meanwhile, the excessive noise of the bucking leaf blower and Beauregard's yells and yelps have began to shake Animal out of his slumber. Animal lifts his head, slowly, blinks, and stares out the window to determine what woke him up.

    Animal (with emotion): NOISE! NOISE! WAS SLEEPING! RUDE!

    Zoot (looking towards the back of the bus): It's just Beauregard.

    Animal (slightly calmer): OH…. DRUMS?

    Zoot: In a minute.

    Animal appears momentarily placated and contents himself slapping the back of the seat he was sleeping on. Meanwhile, Zoot gently puts down his saxophone back into its case, and makes his way to the back of the bus to retrieve Animal. This would normally be Floyd's job, but he and Janice snuck away today for a date at the beach, so Zoot volunteered to take care of him.

    While Zoot walks to the back of the bus, and while Beauregard continues to chase the leaf blower throughout the front yard of the boarding house, another figure appears in the foreground. Walking down the sidewalk with a newspaper in one hand and a coffee in the other is Lips. The sometime trumpeter of the Electric Mayhem enjoyed starting off his day with a quiet breakfast, with weather permitting he would enjoy on the front porch of the boarding house.

    Lips slowly walks down the sidewalk and stops short, noticing Beauregard running around the yard, still no closer to capturing the leaf blower. Both George and Mildred have been drawn outside by the noise and are attempting to help corral the leaf blower as well. However, the leaf blower proves to remain elusive.

    In the bus, Zoot gingerly frees Animal from his chains and begins to walk him down the aisle towards the door. Animal is eagerly gripping his drumsticks and smiling at the thought of going down to the rehearsal room to bash the drums.

    Zoot opens the door of the bus and Animal steps out, blinking in the bright morning sun. His eyes suddenly dart toward the galloping leaf blower, and the three poor fellows chasing it. A look of excitement crosses his face, and he runs out of Zoot's grasp, leaving Zoot slack-jawed and dumbfounded.

    Zoot (slack-jawed and dumbfounded): The leaf blower. Beauregard. George. Mildred. Oh, man.

    Animal (from atop the leaf blower): YEAH! YEAH!

    Beauregard, George, and Mildred make their way to the front porch, as the leaf blower has at least has been corralled and is now therefore Animal's responsibility. Besides, it's about time for breakfast by now. Zoot shrugs his shoulders at the sight of Animal on the leaf blower, and returns to the bus. The sound of the saxophone is soon heard as George, Mildred, and Beauregard enter the house and close the front door.

    Lips, who has remained on the sidewalk the entire time, shakes his head and smiles. It becomes clear that he has seen a similar scene before. He makes his way up the driveway, onto the porch, and spreads out his newspaper at the table, while Animal continues to ride around the yard on the leaf blower and Zoot plays the saxophone in the background.

    End Scene
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Coming up "next": A day in the life of Statler and Waldorf.
    muppetsandpixar likes this.
  7. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    OMG! That...was hilarity. And I love how it just seems like an ordinary day, despite the bazaarness of it all.

    And a day in the life of our favorite hecklers? Oh wow. Seriously loving and looking forward to this.
    charlietheowl likes this.
  8. newsmanfan Well-Known Member

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    snicker...

    Why am I suddenly thinking of the end of "Dr Strangelove"? Ride 'em Animal! yaaaaahoooooo!

    I liked the bus interior description. Giggled at your skillful and subtle repetition of Zoot's words to suit the changing situation. I can easily envision both furry eyebrows going up and a beast becoming agitated by all the noise...and the expressionless blue face staring out at it all. A nice vignette overall. And yes...cute cameos. Although I really can't picture George actually RUNNING after anything; he'd be more likely growling and shaking a fist from the yard. "Dang fool kids!"
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    charlietheowl likes this.
  9. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the kind words! Looking forward to working on the next installment.
  10. Ozymandias Well-Known Member

    PFFFT. How did I miss not one, but TWO chapters of this wonderful fic? Oh well, more for me! :D

    I couldn't stop cackling the first time I read Miss Piggy's adventures as a stage director, because a friend of mine has tried his hand at stage directing, and I can imagine the results turning out similar to what Miss Piggy is going through. *giggles* Slackbot's sequel title just about sums it up. XD

    I'm loving the focus on Zoot during the second story, especially how all this insanity occurs and he just takes it all in stride. I especially like how he describes his saxophone. XD Animal waking up reminds me of myself whenever somebody wakes me up unexpectedly. :)

    All in all, I LOVE THIS FIC. More please. :D
    charlietheowl likes this.
  11. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the kind words!
  12. AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    I adore the fanfic! :)
    charlietheowl likes this.
  13. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

  14. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    I had a little trouble with this one, so I switched up the plot for this one. I feel that Statler and Waldorf work better just sitting around and talking than going out and doing things, so here they are in their element.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Morning, Waldorf."

    "Morning, Statler."

    "So…do anything interesting lately?"

    "I bought some new slippers yesterday."

    "Why? Did your old pair surrender?"

    "No, I wore a hole in the bottom of the right slipper."

    "I see."

    "So I went to Fleischmann's Footwear-"

    "Fleischmann's? Is Frank still there?"

    "No, Frank retired."

    "Mmm. What about Ernest?"

    "No, Ernest's gone."

    "Went up to that shoe tree in the sky?"

    "No, you fool. He went to work at Target."

    "Oh good! He owes me ten bucks."

    "Well then! So I went into the store and was looking at the slippers. Now you know I need size nine wide- regular size nine won't do."

    "You're certainly an irregular person."

    "Thanks, you old fool! As I was saying, I was browsing the slippers and noticed they didn't have any in my size, so I approached one of the clerks."

    "Frank?"

    "No, her name was Aliza."

    "Ah. She related to Frank?"

    "I think so, they had similar ears."

    "Yeah, she got her father's ears."

    "How can you tell?"

    "Well, her dad's a rabbit, and she's a rabbit, so...."

    "She does not have her father's ears! His are floppier."

    "No! Her mother's are floppier."

    "Don't ears skip a generation? Maybe it's her grandparents."

    "I don't know what you're talking about anymore."

    "What else is new?"

    "Get on with your story."

    "Anyway. I asked her her if she had any size nine wide slippers, and she seemed confused, and said she'd check in the back."

    "The back, yep, the back."

    "So I stood there and waited and waited and waited and waited."

    "Well?"

    "She never came back!"

    "What?"

    "I stood there for fifteen minutes and she never came back."

    "I guess the back was farther away than you thought."

    "No, you fool! She went on her lunch break. She just left for lunch and didn't tell anyone to wait on me."

    "The nerve! What did you do?"

    "I left, and I went to Target and got a pair of slippers from Ernest."

    "Did you get my ten dollars?"

    "No, you fool. I didn't realize he owed you ten dollars. Collect your own debts."

    "So how are the slippers?"

    "Great. Really comfortable."

    "That's good."

    "Anything happen to you?"

    "No, not really. There was a Matlock marathon yesterday, so I watched a few episodes."

    "Oooh! He really knew how to crack those cases."

    "Yeah."

    "Yeah."

    "What are we doing?"

    "Talking. Breathing. I saw you pick your nose earlier."

    "No, I mean why are we at the theater? No one else is here except the two of us. Everyone else is off doing something else. There's no show for another two months."

    "Well, this is the only time that stage's is being put to good use!"

    "Oh!"

    "Oh!"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Coming up "next": Beaker and Bunsen take the best of Muppet Labs to another esteemed scientific society.
  15. muppetfan24/7 Well-Known Member

    I love those snippets charlietheowl. You are very talented and please more. I love it!!!
    charlietheowl likes this.
  16. AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Nicely done! I do love dialogue only stuff! :D
    charlietheowl likes this.
  17. muppetfan24/7 Well-Known Member

    The dialogue of the hecklers is hilarious! But I also loved Animal from Zoot's snippet story. Keep up the good work, charlietheowl.
    charlietheowl likes this.
  18. Slackbot Well-Known Member

    *chuckle* This was a lot of fun to read. You made a good decision with the story line. You don't really need action with these guys; just let them talk. I can see them being just like this when they don't have a show to heckle (and are missing it).
    charlietheowl likes this.
  19. charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you guys for the kind words! My original idea for the story was to write a series of short scenes at various places in a sort of "day-in-the-life" thing, but having them rag on non-Muppet characters either came off as forced or mean, plus it was harder to think of funny places than I assumed it would be.
  20. Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    It's taken me waaaay to long to sit down and give this thing (or series of things) the attention that it deserves, but this morning I had a good long read and grinned my face off. You have a nice, subtle touch with the humor, and the characters are well-presented. Your sense of the absurd is charming.

    A very fun and engaging series of stories--I'll try to stay on top of this one from now on! (And maybe give Piggy a few more "Moi's" as you go.)

    You done good, Sweetie! Keep doing it!

    Auntie Ru
    charlietheowl likes this.

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