It Feels Like Christmas

theprawncracker

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Chapter 11: The Summer of the Soul in December

"One hour to showtime!!" Scooter yelled. He ran to all the dressing rooms yelling, "Fifty-nine minutes to showtime!" and "Fifty-nine minutes 38 seconds to show time!"

Skeeter stopped in front of him before he ran into another dressing room. "Take it easy Scoot, the show's gonna be fine," she reassured him.

Rowlf, who was sitting at Kermit's desk, turned towards them. "Yeah, it's not like this is our first show without Kermit," he said. "And besides, it's not like anything else can go wrong," he said.

Rizzo came running backstage. "Now Mr. Chef, just put the gun away and we can talk about this," a gun shot was heard from on stage. "Ah! I guess not!" Rizzo ran off.

The Swedish Chef barged through carrying his blunderbuss and holding it above his head. "Cume-a beck here-a ret! Und tell me-a vhere-a zee cheeckens ere-a!" he shouted.

"Don't do it Rizzo!" Gonzo shouted as he popped up from upstairs. "I need those chickens for my act!"

Scooter tried to intervene. "Hey, hey, what's going on?" he asked.

"Zee ret und zee veurdu stule-a my cheeckens!" the Chef shouted.

"We did not!" Gonzo cried. "We were liberating them from their imanent doom!"

"Chef," Scooter said. "You know you're not supposed to cook live animals!"

"Vell vhet em I sooppused tu cuuk? Jellybeuns?" the Chef asked.

Rizzo ran out from one of the dressing rooms with feathers flying out of the door. "Hey, did I hear someone say that they found my bag of jellybeans?" Rizzo asked over the loud noise of clucking.

"My cheeckens!" the Chef shot his blunderbuss at Rizzo. He screamed and pulled the door out in front of him to block the shot. It left a large hole in the door. Rizzo stuck his head out shaking.

Sweetums walked into the madness and sighed. He ignored it and bent down to Rowlf. "Uh, hey Rowlf, you seen Robin anywhere?" he asked. "I've searched high and low for him but I haven't found him, we're supposed to be rehearsing our bit at the end of the show," he said.

Rowlf looked up. "Nope, haven't seen him, have you called the house? Maybe he's still there."

The back doors opened and the Electric Mayhem walked in. "Alright cats and dogs," Floyd said. "The Mayhem is, am, and be here!" he said.

Sweetums walked over to them. "Hey uh, was Robin at the house when you guys left?" Sweetums asked them.

"Little green stuff?" Floyd asked. "Naw man, don't think so."

"Fer sure, he like totally rode off on a bike in your direction," Janice said.

"Which direction is that?" Dr. Teeth asked her.

"Right!" Janice said.

"Baby, you turn left to get to the theater!" Floyd told her.

She scratched her head. "I like rully need to get that together," she said.

"Well if he's not at the house," Sweetums said.

"And he's not here," Scooter replyed.

"Then where is he?" Rowlf asked.

***************************

Robin rode the bike up to the unloading lane at the airport. "Hi guys," he said to the gaurds. "I'll just leave the bike parked here," he said.

He walked into the airport through the sliding doors and walked up to the clerk. "Hello ma'am," he smiled. "I'd like one round-trip plane ticket to the North Pole please," he said.

She stared at the little frog. "Can I see some I.D. there small-fry?" she asked.

Robin reached into a pocket in his backpack and pulled out Miss Piggy's driver's license and handed it to the clerk. "Here you go ma'am," he said.

She swiped it out of his hands and held it close to her eyes. "You don't look like," when she lowered the license Robin was wearing a plastic pig nose on the front of his face. "Oh, thank you for the I.D. Miss Piggy," she said. "Now, I just need your credit card and I can get you a ticket."

Robin frowned. "Um, credit card?"

"Yes credit card," she said. "We also take debit."

"Uh, I suppose you can't access my credit card number from my driver's license huh?" he asked.

"I highly doubt it," she said. "But then again, nothing really does make sense in this world, so I might as well give it a try." Robin smiled and handed her the license again. She ran it through a small machine and clicked the mouse on her computer a few times. "No dear, I'm afraid I can't," she said. "So sorry, but do have a very merry Christmas," she said as she gave him back the license.

Robin sighed and walked away. He walked towards the front door and watched as two gaurds hurled his uncle's bicycle into a garbage truck. "Hey!" Robin shouted. "That's my bike!" he realized it was useless and sighed. "Well now how am I supposed to get home?" he sighed. He walked over and sat in a chair. "Christmas is ruined," he said to himself.

"Tell me about it," a voice said from the seat behind him. "I was supposed to have a lavish, all-expense paid trip to France for Christmas this year, and look at me now," the voice said. "Stuck in some ratty old airport with five-hundred pounds of luggage and no ride home."

Robin was taken aback. "No way," he whispered. He sat up on his knees and looked behind him.
 

redBoobergurl

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Poor Robin! I feel so bad for him, but I get the feeling he's going to be ok because I believe he has just found a certain pig that was bound for France. This is such a cute story Ryan!
 

TogetherAgain

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OH MY HOLY MOSQUITOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRAWNIE! YOU SO TOTALLY ROCK! I HUG YOU FIFTY THOUSAND TIMES! No, I GLOMP you! OH MY GOSH GOOD GOLLY GRACIOUSNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!! The, the, the, and the, and then, and of course, and oh my gosh, and that was, and then that, and the, and that, and this, and OH MY DEAR LORD THIS IS SO INSANELY AWESOME! My sense joke! Jewish writer! Hatrack! Oh my gosh! Skeeter and Clifford! Cliff and Scoot and Rowlf in charge! ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANd the whole Santa thing! And the "You don't look like a- thank you, Miss Piggy..." JOKE! Oh dear lord I love it! Oh my dear insanity, and FIFTY THOUSAND WONDERFULLY AMAZING THINGS IN THE PAST HOWEVER MANY CHAPTERS I WAS GONE FOR! Oh my gosh prawnie, count the hugs if you can:
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Prawnie, you are so AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Beauregard

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But tell us, Lisa, how did you like it?

Great stuff RJ!
 

theprawncracker

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To my readers and friends,

I just today found out that my grandfather is very ill. And my family may have to take a 10 hour car ride to Georgia to be with him. If we leave I will not be able to update my story, so please forgive me. It's not certain that we're going for sure, but I will keep you all updated. Thank you all for reading and being such great friends.

Ryan
theprawncracker
 

theprawncracker

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Alright, as I said, I would keep you all updated, so heres the update. My grandfather has pnuemonia, but we are not going to be with him. My mom decided that it would be best if we didn't go, so I'm here to write more of the story, so here it is, more of the story!
 

theprawncracker

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Chapter 12: The Ways of Love Made Clear

Johnny and Sal ran backstage looking for Scooter. "Holy canoli Sal," Johnny said. "I thought you said you called Scooter and told him that Johnny Depp's in jail!"

"Johnny you said that was you would call him!" Sal argued.

"I don't wanna hear it Sal!" Johnny told the monkey.

Scooter poked his head into the guest star's dressing room. "Mr. Depp, fifteen seconds to curtain Mr. Depp!" he said. "Mr. Depp?" he turned his head out of the room. "Hey, uh, have any of you guys seen Johnny?"

"Right here Scooter!" Sal said.

"Not this Johnny you nit-wit," Johnny said. "Uh, Scooter, there's something you should know about uh, that is to say, er, Mr. Depp he," Johnny started to explain.

"Hey der Scooper!" Pepe came running in. "It's time for de theme song. Hokay?" he said.

"Right!" Scooter ran out behind the curtain as he heard the theme music play. "Hey guys, if you see Mr. Depp tell him to be on stage, now!" Scooter ran on stage.

"Can do Scooter," Johnny said. "Can do," he sighed.

Johnny, Sal, and Pepe stood there silently for a moment. "Um, if jou don't mind me asking," Pepe said. "What are jou two doing?" Pepe asked.

Johnny grabbed Pepe. "Don't you get it you stupid shrimp! Johnny Depp is in jail he's not going to be in the show!!" Johnny shouted.

All of the Muppets backstage turned around and stared at Johnny. Johnny dropped Pepe. "I am not a shrimp I am a king prawn," Pepe muttered as he stood up and dusted himself off.

"Um, if someone has a plan, that would be kinda helpful," Johnny said.

"IF JOHNNY FIAMA NEEDS A PLAN, SOMEBODY BETTER HAVE A PLAN!" Sal shouted.

***********************

When Robin turned around he saw Miss Piggy sitting there behind him. "Miss Piggy!" he shouted.

She turned her head. "Robin?! What are vous doing here?!" she stood up and walked around to Robin's seat. "Aren't you supposed to be at the theater?"

Robin sighed. "Well, yeah," he said. "But I needed help! From Santa! And-and- I needed a plane ticket to the North Pole, and-and- I had this plastic nose and I didn't know what else to use it for and-"

"Hold on, hold on," Miss Piggy stopped him. "How were you planning on getting to the North Pole?" she asked him.

He pulled out the license and handed it to her. He sighed. "I just wanted to see my family happy again," he said.

Piggy sat up a little more. "Oh, um, I see," she said.

Robin wiped his eye. "I just know that I can't do anything, so I thought maybe, you know, Santa could," the frog said.

"Oh Robin dear," she put her arm around his shoulder.

"It's just, that," he began. "I feel so small and useless," he began to sing.
"Ambiguous and clueless,
I just can't seem to do anything right,
I feel so invisible tonight,
While everyone dances,
I just look for answers,
I've decided that I don't belong,
It just seems so appaling,
With my parents not calling,
It leaves me nothing but this song,
On the most miserable Christmas of my life,
The most miserable,
Horrible,
Obnoxious,
Intolerable Christmas," Robin cried a little.

Miss Piggy wiped his eyes with a blue handkerchief. "Oh Robin, oh honey," she hugged him close. "Just think about it, I-I left my friends, my family honestly, I left them, for a trip to France, when, I could be with my friends," she said. "If only I could go back and take another crack at," she began to sing.
"All the things I've left undone I'd do them right
If I had my friends and family here tonight.
I'd have the most wonderful Christmas of my life!" the other people in the airport walked over and sat around them.

"Everyone matters, Everyone matters," Miss Piggy sang.
"Even the smallest of the smallest,
Can make the biggest dream come true,"

Robin nodded. "Everyone matters for worse or for better," he sang along.

"We can change the world around us with everything we do," they both sang.

"Even you," Piggy pointed to Robin.

"Even me," Robin sang.

"You and me," all of the people around sang.

Robin and Piggy nodded. Robin smiled and hugged Miss Piggy.

*************************

Kermit sat on the couch downstairs at the Muppet Boarding House holding a cup of cocoa. He watched the television as Clifford came onto the stage.

"Merry Christmas ya'll!" he said. "And here, is the incredible Johnny Depp and the Muppets siging 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas!'"

The curtains opened and a steam filled the stage, a group of Muppets walked out onto the stage including Fozzie and Gonzo in the front dressed in red tuxedos. In the center stage a platform began to raise from under the floor. The smoke cleared and Kermit was taken aback as Beauregard stood on the top of the platform in a black wig. The music stopped and Beau stared into the audience. "Um, I am Johnny Depp," Beau said. "America's most beautiful man," he nodded.

Kermit fell off of the couch and onto the floor.

*************************

Statler and Waldorf sat in the balcony watching. "That Johnny Depp has sure put on alot of weight!" Statler said.

"That's not Johnny Depp!" Waldorf said. "That's Johnny Dip!"

"Do ho ho ho!" They both laughed.

*************************

Bubba the rat carried a tray of cookies and walked into the family room. He looked down at Kermit's fainted body on the floor. "Good grief," he said. "Dat frog has got to lay off the egg nog," he said as he sat on the couch and watched the show.
 

TogetherAgain

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HOLY MOSQUITOES! EVERYONE MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oy did that give me a lump in my throat! OY!!!!! It's so... <sniff> and I love it!

And poor Kermit, he doesn't have the strength to put up with that stress, Bubba, help him up! Come on! Sheesh...

But S&Ws lines were great! And if Johnny Fiama needs a plan, somebody better have a plan! And I love the Johnny/Johnny mix up with Sal. Tis very comedic!

And on a more somber note, I hope your grandpa's okay. If things change and you have to go see him, don't feel bad about not posting. That sort of thing trumps all. I hope he gets better soon. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
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