Please enjoy this brand-new fan fiction. Chapter 1 Kermit came on-stage to make an introduction. "Ladies and gentlemen, here is Lew Zealand! Yaaaaaayyyy!" The curtains raised and Lew threw his boomerag fish. The audience cheered. Even Statler and Waldorf. "Well, he keeps getting better with each performance", said Statler. "He also keeps getting fishier", said Waldorf. The audience applauded. "Thank you, thank you", said lew, "Now, as you all know, my tboomerang fish and I are going to perform at Carnegie Hall this weekend. Tickets have sold out. I am goijng by first-class practice!" Lew Zealand went backstage. "Well, Lew, the bus is ready", said Dr. Teeth. "We'll get there by tomorrow", said Floyd. "I can't wait for my big Carnegie Hall performance", said Lew. "I'm sorry that I can't make it to your performance", said Seymour, "But I've got a dentist appointment". "Oh, that's alright", said Lew. "Seymour, Pepe! You're on next!", said Scooter. "Oh, yeah", said Seymour, "Break a leg at Cernegie Hall!" "We're the ones who should break legs, okay", said Pepe. Lew thought for a moment, "I think I can break some legs with my fish." The big day came. Lew Zealand was at the Carnegie Hall theater, as were many of Lew's Muppet friends. Kermit and Miss Piggy were in Lew's dressing room. "Well, good luck with the show, lew!", said Kermit. "Just don't hit moi's face", said Miss Piggy. "Oh, I've been practicing for weeks", said Lew. "Practicing to do the best boomerang fish show on Carnegie Hall?", asked Kermit. "No, to throw at people's faces", said Lew. "Mr. Zealand, you're on in five minutes", said the stage manager. "We've got to get to our seats", said Miss Piggy. Kermit and Piggy went to join the others in front row seats. "Well, it's almost showtime", said Fozzie. "Who would have thought that lew Zealand could make it to Carnegie Hall", said Sam, "This place might not be as cultural as it used to." The place got darker. "Oh, like, it's a lot darker", said Janice. "Ladies and gentlemen, here is Lew Zealand!", said an announcer. Lew came on-stage as the others cheered. "Hiya, hiya", said Lew, "I am the amazing Lew Zealand, and here are my boomerang fish!" The audience cheered. "First, my classic!", said Lew, as he threw a fish and it came back. "That one got me a gold record." Lew did some more throwing, but after awhile, the audience got boored. "This is Lew Zealand's big carnegie hall act?" "I filed for a second mortgage to see Lew Zealand do what i could have seen him do at the Muppet theater?" "I can't beleive I waited in line for six months for this" "Can't he do anything new?" "Uh-oh", said Kermit, "it looks like the audience isn't enjoying this like the press thought", said Kermit. "What a big surprise", said Sam. "Well, this is kinda dull", said Gonzo, "I told him that he should have thrown fish with jelly on it". The audience then started booing and throwing rotten fruits and vegetables at Lew. "Hey! I'm the one who's supposed to be throwing things!", said Lew. The constant throwing then caused Lew to lose focus, and he started throwing his at members of the audience. "Ouch!" "You just broke my leg!" "Well, Seymour did tell me to", said Lew, throwing another fish. "Hey! I knew I got nosebleed seats, but this is ridiculous!" And then a pie hit Lew's face. A lone cane came from backstage and pulled him offstage by his neck. The next day, Lew read the critics reviews down in the canteen. "Lew Zealand's big carnegie hall debut was not the event we all expected", said Lew, quoting the critic, "We expected him to do more than just throw his fish for three and a half hours. He's been doing the same old shtict for nearly 30 years, and he must move on. And worst of all, his fish broke my leg. He'll be hearing from my lawyers." "That didn't sound good, man", said Floyd. "Here, have a fish pie, on the house", said Gladys, who then slipped and spilt the pie on Lew's lap. "Well, now it's on your lap", said Gladys. "This review is right", said Lew, "I've got to find some new acts, some new gimmicks. I've been doing the sma eold thing all these years. Go tell Mr. the Frog that next week, I'll be doing a new act!" "Uh, the schedule for next weeks show has already been filled, and your not on it!", said Floyd. "Then I'll do something new in two weeks!", said Lew. Gonzo then zoomed to the canteen. "You can throw boomerang fish with JELLY on it!", said an enthustiastic Gonzo.