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This outline for a MuppeTelevision segment of The Jim Henson Hour is all about sports. If you don't like it, then... well, uh, uh... something may happen. Enjoy!
Cold Opening/ Muppet Central
Gonzo, Leon and Bean attempt to play lazer football. they all shoot their lazers at the football, which flies all over the room.
Jim Hensons Introduction
Jim Henson announces a sports-filled show.
Introduction/ Muppet Central
Kermit announces that Hulk Hogan is tonights guest star.
Muppet Central
Gonzo, Leon and Lindberg plan to form a football team. Kermit wants no part in it.
The Ultimate Sporting Championship
Louis kazagger is the sportscaster for this sporting event, which is like a combination between the super bowl, the olympics, and the NCAA final four.
Opening Number: The National Anthem
Sam The American eagle sings the national anthem.
muppet central
Leon: (watching the national anthem) you know something gonzo/
Gonzo: what?
Leon: I never liked the national anthem.
Sam: (on monitor) I heard that!
Outside the Locker Room Door
The Newsman interviews Hulk Hogan about his upcoming wrestling match with Sweetums. Hulk Hogan gives a demonstration, hurting the newsman in the process.
The Ultimate Sporting Championship
Louis kazager introduces the next sporting event: swimming.
Swimming
Kermit competes against Bean Bunny, Vicki, and Clifford. Vicki and bean get tired fast, and Kermit wins.
Muppet Central
Leon asks Waldo if he would try out for the football team. Waldo offers to be the football.
High Diving
Gonzo, Link, Anthony, and Animal all dive off seperate diving boards into bottles of water. Gonzo misses, Links bottle moves away from him, Anthony falls into the bottle (and gets stuck) and animal misses but hits the ground so loudly that the bottle flies into the air and falls on animals head.
Muppet Central
Scooter asks Flash and beard to participate in the football team, but they are busy playing golf (in the controll room).
Fashion Doll Sketch
Bootsy shows Brad that she is just as good at sports as he is. Brad fails to prove that he is just as good at cooking as she is.
(commercial break)
Sky Box
Statler and Waldorf talk about the sports that have been done so far.
Halftime fable
for the big halftime show, Rowlf reads a fable, "the tortose and the hare'.
The Tortose and The Hare
Bean brags about being cuter than a turtle, so the turtle challenges bean to a race. While the turtle is uglier and slower, bean concentrates too hard on looking at himself in a hand-held mirror.
Sky Box
Statler and Waldorf think the story was too slow and uncute.
Wrestling Match
it's time for the big wrestling match. Hulk Hogan versus sweetums. After defeating sweetums, a giant match (A big wrestling match, get it?) challenges the hulkster to a rematch. the match is too hot for Hulk.
Football
it's time for the football game, but the muppets opponents (The Procrastinators) don't show up, so they have to forfeit to the muppets.
Sky Box
statler and waldorf can't believe that the muppets actually won something.
Closing Number: take me out to the ball game
Due to the football game being forfeited, the cast sings "take me out to the ball game" and close the show (as rain pours on them).
Jim Hensons Closing
Jim henson: remember, it's not whether you win or lose...
Waldo C. Graphic: (showing up out of nowhere) it's whether the opponent loses that matters.
Cold Opening/ Muppet Central
Gonzo, Leon and Bean attempt to play lazer football. they all shoot their lazers at the football, which flies all over the room.
Jim Hensons Introduction
Jim Henson announces a sports-filled show.
Introduction/ Muppet Central
Kermit announces that Hulk Hogan is tonights guest star.
Muppet Central
Gonzo, Leon and Lindberg plan to form a football team. Kermit wants no part in it.
The Ultimate Sporting Championship
Louis kazagger is the sportscaster for this sporting event, which is like a combination between the super bowl, the olympics, and the NCAA final four.
Opening Number: The National Anthem
Sam The American eagle sings the national anthem.
muppet central
Leon: (watching the national anthem) you know something gonzo/
Gonzo: what?
Leon: I never liked the national anthem.
Sam: (on monitor) I heard that!
Outside the Locker Room Door
The Newsman interviews Hulk Hogan about his upcoming wrestling match with Sweetums. Hulk Hogan gives a demonstration, hurting the newsman in the process.
The Ultimate Sporting Championship
Louis kazager introduces the next sporting event: swimming.
Swimming
Kermit competes against Bean Bunny, Vicki, and Clifford. Vicki and bean get tired fast, and Kermit wins.
Muppet Central
Leon asks Waldo if he would try out for the football team. Waldo offers to be the football.
High Diving
Gonzo, Link, Anthony, and Animal all dive off seperate diving boards into bottles of water. Gonzo misses, Links bottle moves away from him, Anthony falls into the bottle (and gets stuck) and animal misses but hits the ground so loudly that the bottle flies into the air and falls on animals head.
Muppet Central
Scooter asks Flash and beard to participate in the football team, but they are busy playing golf (in the controll room).
Fashion Doll Sketch
Bootsy shows Brad that she is just as good at sports as he is. Brad fails to prove that he is just as good at cooking as she is.
(commercial break)
Sky Box
Statler and Waldorf talk about the sports that have been done so far.
Halftime fable
for the big halftime show, Rowlf reads a fable, "the tortose and the hare'.
The Tortose and The Hare
Bean brags about being cuter than a turtle, so the turtle challenges bean to a race. While the turtle is uglier and slower, bean concentrates too hard on looking at himself in a hand-held mirror.
Sky Box
Statler and Waldorf think the story was too slow and uncute.
Wrestling Match
it's time for the big wrestling match. Hulk Hogan versus sweetums. After defeating sweetums, a giant match (A big wrestling match, get it?) challenges the hulkster to a rematch. the match is too hot for Hulk.
Football
it's time for the football game, but the muppets opponents (The Procrastinators) don't show up, so they have to forfeit to the muppets.
Sky Box
statler and waldorf can't believe that the muppets actually won something.
Closing Number: take me out to the ball game
Due to the football game being forfeited, the cast sings "take me out to the ball game" and close the show (as rain pours on them).
Jim Hensons Closing
Jim henson: remember, it's not whether you win or lose...
Waldo C. Graphic: (showing up out of nowhere) it's whether the opponent loses that matters.
