Minor Muppetz' TMS outline: Gary Burghoff

[minor muppetz]

The following outline is supposed to be part of The Muppet Show's first season.

Introduction
Kermit introduces the opening number.

opening number: Will you still love me tomorrow?
Mildred sings to George, who is more interested in mopping the stage during an act.

Muppet News
The newsman reports a 1968 lime green volkswageon beetle with a new york license plate in the parking lot which has it's lights flashing. Then he realizes that that is his car.

Balcony
Waldorf decides to go to the parking lot and check on his car.

Introduction
Kermit introduces Gary Burghoff.

Sketch
Gary is a construction worker who is trying hard to knock down buildings, but his co-workers (Crazy Harry, Gorgon Heap, The Mutations, and Sweetums) keep destroying the buildings before he gets a chance to. He makes a deal with Crazy Harry: If harry let's Gary destroy the next building, he will let Crazy Harry blow him up. gary destroys a building, but Crazy Harry accidently blows himself up (instead of Gary Burghoff).

Backstage
Scooter is selling candy for his church. He asks Kermit if he wants to buy some candy, but Kermit is on a diet.

Introduction
Sam introduces Wayne and Wanda, and tells the audience to "give Wayne and Wanda a chance".

Song: Give Peace a Chance
Boppity interrupts the song by hitting Wayne and wanda with a club.

At The Dance

Shouting Lady: My great grandmother was once a big name movie star, but she soon stopped appearing in movies.
Dance Partner: When did she stop working in movies?
Shouting Lady: When they stopped making silent movies!

Pig: My uncle used to be a big name movie star.
Miss Piggy: Oh, what was his name?
Pig: Oh, I don't know.

Mary Louise: I'm selling candy for school.
Frog: Big deal, I'm selling candy for $3.15.

George: Why do we dance here every week?
Mildred: Because my mother won't let us dance at her house.

U.K. Spot: I Can See Clearly Now
A woman wihtout eyes sings this song.

Backstage
Scooter tries to sell candy to Miss Piggy, who thinks he is making fun of her because she is fat and karate chops her.

Talk Spot
Gary Burghoff shows Kermit his slingshot. Sweetums comes over and shows that he has a much bigger sling shot, and shoots Kermit out of the sling shot.

Balcony
Statler notices that Waldorf is still missing. He wonders if waldorf left the theatre, and goes looking for him.

Introduction
Hilda introduces The great Gonzo.

Gonzos Act
Gonzo gets shot out of Sweetums' giant sling shot.

Backstage
Fozzie does not want to buy any candy. Scooter remarks that His uncle who owns the theatre would be disapointed if Scooter didn't sell any candy, and Fozzie buys three bars.

music act
Gary Burghoff hits a triangle bell, plays a xylophone, and blows a tuba while Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem play in the background.

Introduction
Kermit introduces Fozzie Bear.

Fozzies Act
Fozzie tries to do his act, but the candy that he ate has caused his mouth to get stuck. Happily, Statler and Waldorf are not in the balcony to heckle him.

Backstage
Kermit realizes that the candy is so sticky that anybody who eats it will temporarily get their mouths stuck. Rowlf and Animal try to talk to kermit but their mouths are stuck. Kermit tells Gary Burghoff and the monsters to get ready for the closing number. After they enter the stage, Scooter comes by with a lot of money, saying that he sold all of his candy bars, most of them to the monsters.

Closing Number: Talk To The Animals
All of the monsters have their mouths stuck together and can't sing Talk To the Animals, so gary has to sing on his own while they struggle to sing.

Good Night
Kermit and Gary Burghoff are joined by Miss Piggy, Wayne, Wanda, Thog, and Scooter.

After Credits/ Balcony
Statler and Waldorf are back in their balcony but their mouths are stuck and can't heckle the show.

 

[minor muppetz]

In case anybody is wondering....

The monsters who appear in the closing number are Beautiful Day Monster, Behemoth, both of the Scoffs, Boppity, Gloat, Gorgon Heap, Sweetums 9who doesn't arrive untill the secodn verse) and Thog (ditto).

and here are some of the performers:
Jerry Nelson- Shouting ladys partner and Boppity.
Frank Oz- Gorgon Heap.
Richard Hunt- Miss Piggys patner (and also Miss Piggy in At The Dance).
John Lovelady- Mary Louise and her dance partner.
Eren Ozkar- the woman from the u.k. spot.

 

[minor muppetz]

I just realized some missed oportunities. It would have probably been funny if I had the Shouting Lady eat the candy and then couldn't shout. Maybe Wayne and Wanda could have eaten the candy and couldn't sing. I had Rowlf get his mouth stuck in a scene with Kermit as a way to have Kermit and Rowlf prominently featured in the same scene without any voice dubbing required, and also so Rowlf could have a big backstage scene. Maybe I could have had a few more of Jim Hensons characters mouths stuck shut and appearing together (or I could have done this with several characters who were performed by the same performer).

 

[MartyMuppets]

Yes the sticky candy could have had potential for a great running gag.
Still I love what you did write. Congratulations.

 

[D'Snowth]

Gary Burghoff is so awesome, and I'd just like to add a little nit-pick: during his musical number, you should have also had him playing the drums, as he used to be a drummer for his own band (and he even play some mean drums as Radar on M*A*S*H).