Minor Muppetz' TMS outline: Jamie Faar

minor muppetz

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This outline takes place during the fourth season.

Cold Opening/ Dressing Room
Scooter is shocked to see Jamie Faar wearing a tuxedo instead of a dress.

Introduction
Kermit introduces morning at night.

Opening Number: It's a Beautiful Morning
In the set used for his Six-String Orchestra number (but with publicity photos from M*A*S*H replacing Star Wars pictures), Scooter sings in his pajamas.

Balcony
Waldorf: it's a beautiful morning...
Statler: ...and a rotten night.

Backstage
Miss Piggy tells Kermit that she can't find her favorite dress. As she leaves, Fozzie enters wearing a dress, planning on wearing it during his act.

Introduction
Kermit introduces jamie Faar.

On-Stage
Since guest stars are alway welcome to do things that they are not expected to do, jamie decides to take a suggestion from Gonzo and blow the worlds biggest balloon. He starts. The balloon gets so big that Statler considers popping it when it gets close enough to the balcony.

Backstage
Miss Piggy still can't find her favorite dress. Kermit, Beauregard, Scooter, Annie Sue Pig, and Crazy Harry watch the act in amazement. kermit thinks that the whole theatre will be filled, so Crazy harry blows up the balloon. Jamie walks backstage, covered in black smoke.

Introduction
Kermit introduces Fozzie Bear.

Monologue
Statler, Waldorf, and the whole audience laughs over the fact that Fozzie is wearing a dress, but Fozzie just thinks that they like his jokes too much.

Backstage
Miss Piggy karate chops Fozzie for wearing her favorite dress.

Dressing Room
Gonzo tells jamie Faar that he shouldn't give up. Jamie agrees and decides to try blowing the worlds biggest balloon again. However, he gets sucked into the balloon. Gonzo tries to blow the balloon and get him out, but Gonzo only gets sucked in too.

U.K. Spot: Happy Together
Floyd, Zeke, Annie Sue, Beauregard, a penguin, Boppity, and some pigs sing together.

Inside The Balloon
We see Jamie and Gonzo inside the balloon. We hear (but don't see) many crashes.

Backstage
Kermit tries to help jamie and Gonzo out, but he gets sucked into the balloon as well.

Inside The Balloon
Kermit thinks it is nice and dark inside the balloon.

Muppet News
The newsman reports that Jamie Faar can't blow the worlds biggest balloon, but he can. The Newsman blows a big balloon, but after blowing it for a little bit, the balloon gets sucked into the newsmans mouth, and (because of the helium) he has a high-pitched voice now.

Muppet Sports
It's the annual balloon fight. The contestants throw balloons at each other, but for soem reason the balloons are too heavy to get very far. A big balloon gets thrown at Louis kazagger and hurts him.

Backstage
Bunsen and beaker have thought of a way to get Kermit, Gozno, and Jamie Faar out of the balloon. They put a pump on the balloon, which makes them float to the ceiling. Beaker pulls the pump off, but the balloon still floats.

inside the balloon
Kermit can't believe that the balloon can float with them inside it.

Backstage
Rowlf has a long pole with a hook attahced, and pops the balloon.

on-stage/ introduction
lew zeland throws boomerang fish at the audience, and tries to hit them with a bat. Kermit makes Lew leave the stage and introduces the closing number.

Closing Number: Indian Love Call
Jamie plays an indian chief, and is joined by Miss Piggy, Boppity, Rowlf, a Penguin, and some chickens, all wearing indian gear.

Good Night
Kermit and Jamie Faar are joined by Gonzo, Bunsen, Beaker, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, and the penguins.

after credits
Statler and Waldorf are wearing dresses, and realize that men wearing dresses is not funny after all.
 

minor muppetz

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performers

here is who i would have as performers of certain characters:
I would have Steve Whitmire perform Boppity in both sketches.
The penguin in Happy Together would be performed by Richard Hunt. The penguin in Indian Love Call would be performed by Dave Goelz.
The chickens in the closing number would be performed by Louise Gold and Kathy Mullen.
The pigs in Happy Together would be performed by Frank Oz and Kathy Mullen.
 

minor muppetz

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If this was an actual episode, here is how a summary would look in the TV listings:

"Jamie Faar and Gonzo get trapped inside a balloon."

And if this was on one of the Best of The Muppet Show videos/ DVDs, here is what a description would look like:

"Jamie Faar: The cross-dresser from M*A*S*H attempts to blow the worlds biggest balloon, gets trapped inside a balloon with Gonzo and Kermit, and portrays an indian."
 
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