Hey guys! In honor of moi's sixteenth birthday and in the spirit of Flippersteps, I have prepared a fan-fic of epic proportions for you all to enjoy! (But unlike Flippersteps it won't be a major alteration to the Muppet universe.) I think you'll all really enjoy it! So here it is, Don't Trip the Driver: Chapter 1 "Thank you, thank you," Kermit the Frog addressed the audience at the Muppet Theater. "Now, as you all know today’s show is drawing to a close! So now, I present to you, the closing number, including, me!" The frog darted off the stage as the crimson curtains followed. His nephew, Robin the Frog sat atop a ledge in the middle of the stage. "Oh, hi!" Robin smiled at the crowd. "Um, I’m supposed to sing a song here with my Uncle Kermit, but, well I lost my tap shoes!" "Figures something would get lost on this show!" the elderly voice of Statler said from up in the balcony. "More than tap shoes were lost Statler, my mind’s been lost for thirty years." Waldorf replied to his balcony-mate for life. "Oh Robin, Robin!" Scooter called as he ran on stage next to the five year old, carrying a tiny pair of shoes. "Hey Robin, you left your tap shoes backstage!" the go-fer handed Robin the shoes. "Oh, thanks Scooter," Robin said as he began to lace the shoes on his feet. "Hey, do you wanna be part of the number too?" Robin asked. "Oh, well, it’s not on the schedule." "Well let’s break the schedule!" Robin hopped off the wall and pulled Scooter towards the front of the stage by his hand. "Hit it!" shouted the sweet-voiced frog. The band began to play their instruments as Robin began to tap dance. "Happy feet," Robin tapped. "I’ve got those happy feet Give them a low down beat And they begin dancin’, c’mon Scooter, you know the words!" Scooter smiled and began to tap himself. "I’ve got those, Ten little tappin’ toes And when they hear a tune I can’t control My dancin’ heels to save my soul," Scooter sang. "Weary blues Can’t get into our shoes Because our shoes refuse To ever grow weary "We keep cheerful On an earful Of music sweet," the two of them harmonized. "Cause we’ve got hap-hap-happy feet!" The go-fer and the frog tapped out a tune, and in between each tap, a new Muppet would dance onto the stage. The Great Gonzo, Fozzie Bear, Camilla the Chicken, Clifford, Beauregard, Rizzo the Rat, Pepe the King Prawn and of course, the entrancing Miss Piggy and the ever-green Kermit the Frog, all tapping their feet in rhythm. "Weary blues Can’t get into our shoes Because our shoes refuse To ever grow weary "We keep cheerful On an earful Of music sweet Cause we’ve got hap-hap happy," all of the Muppets on stage sang at once. Kermit and Piggy moved towards the center of the stage on the outside of Scooter and Robin, followed by the other Muppets, all lining up for the finale. "Cause we’ve got hap-hap happy feet!" they all clicked their heels, creating a series of taps. "Feet!" Robin shouted the final note, ending the song. The trumpets finished the song with their shots of choral rhythm. The audience cheered and applauded loudly. Kermit wrapped his arm around Robin’s shoulder. "Thank you all for joining us once again! And we’ll see you all next week on The Muppet Show! Yaaaaaaay!" >X<X>X< All of the Muppets were crowded on a row of tables pushed together inside a restaurant on the cool Thursday night. Kermit looked up and down the table at everyone eating, most of the food being fruits or vegetables (along with the occasional serving of Tofu), and that was just the talking food. Kermit clinked his glass with his fork, trying to quiet down the his friends. "Hey everybody?" he asked over (although it seemed like under) the chatter of the Muppet troupe. "Guys?" he tried again. "Hey! QUIET!!" the frog screamed. "And I told him, ‘I don’t care that the ancient Greeks didn’t wear anything, I’m not like-" "Janice please, people are trying to eat," Kermit told the valley girl. "Anyway everybody, I just wanted to lift my glass to you all on another season well done!" Kermit lifted his glass to the others. Miss Piggy shot up out of her seat next to the frog. "Yes! And moi would just like to thank all of vous for making moi look so good by all of vous looking so terribly bad." "Why thank you Miss Piggy," a small pink Muppet with a long pink nose told the diva. "I think you look bad too!" Piggy’s face fumed. "Watch it Clyde! Or I’ll knock you back into space!" "Yes Miss Piggy," Clyde said as he sunk back into the seat. "Hey," a large blue Muppet nudged Clyde. "You can’t let her push you around like that Clyde!" Clyde shrugged. "I know Butch, it’s just that-" "It’s my job to push you around like that!" Butch told his assistant. Kermit scrunched up his face, frowning at the show’s two newest cast members. "Hey Kermit? Kermit?" Fozzie pulled at the frog’s spindly arm. He was sitting, quite literally, on the edge of his seat next to Kermit. "What is it Fozzie? I’m trying to make a speech," Kermit told his best friend. "Oh, I know!" Fozzie smiled. "I wanted to say something to the cast!" Kermit smirked. "Oh, well, uh, okay. Just make it fast okay Foz-" "Right!" Fozzie stood straight up. "Hiya hiya! Hey guys, do you know what time it is when an elephant sits on your watch?" Fozzie asked the crowd of Muppets, waiting for an answer. "El-if-ino," Pepe muttered. "No! It’s time to get a new watch!" Fozzie punched them with a line. "Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!" "I think it’s time to give the bear a new job," Floyd Pepper whispered to Clifford. Clifford laughed. "Man, if I was still host, he’d be the first to go!" "Mmm," Floyd nodded. "Now that I know that, I may bring it up at the next meeting!" After no one laughed at Fozzie’s joke he grasped his pink polka dotted tie and began to wring around in his hand. "Hey, I’m trying." He sat back down in his seat. Rowlf put his paw on Fozzie’s shoulder. "Don’t try too hard Fozzie, you may end up cracking." "Ah! Then that would make me Humpty Dumpty! Wocka! Wocka!" Fozzie attempted another joke. "Like, Dr. Bob, we may have to operate," Janice said to Rowlf. "What’s the diagnosis Nurse Janice?" Rowlf asked. "H.B.S. Dr. Bob." "H.B.S.? What’s H.B.S.?" "Like, ‘Half-a Brain Syndrome!’ Fer sure!" Kermit smirked towards the dog and the hippy girl. "Save it for next season guys." The frog took a fork to his salad that sat in front of him. "Let’s just concentrate on dinner now. These are some of the sacred moments," he smiled at all of the Muppets sprawled out across the table. From Animal to Zippity Zap, they were all there. "These sacred moments can only happen now, before we’re bombarded with more work on the show." Kermit returned to his salad as Crazy Harry jolted up behind his chair. "Did somebody say bomb?!" "No Harry, I said bombarded," Kermit said without looking at the dynamite plunger-happy lunatic. "Oh," Harry thought for a moment. "Close enough!!" he shouted, blowing up half the table. Kermit sighed. "I need a vacation..." he muttered. <X>X<X> "You need a vacation!" "But how will we pay? We still owe the bank three months back payment." "So? Splurge! You deserve it Kermit! ...That and we need the money." Butch kicked Clyde under the table. "Don’t pay any attention to him Kermit-" "Yeah! You pay Butch, not me," Clyde rubbed his shin. Kermit scrunched up his face. "Well guys, I’d really like to help out the ‘Butch and Clyde Travel Agency’ but we really are short on money right now." "Well that’s never stopped us!" Butch argued. Kermit smirked. "Don’t you think I know that? I pay for everything." "Oh come on Kermit, don’t you think you need a little break?" Clyde asked. "You’re always so busy, and you never get a reprieve." "Ooh, nice Clyde," Butch whispered. Clyde shrugged. "I try." Kermit frowned. "I tell ya what guys, I’ll talk to Fozzie about it tonight. Then I’ll make my decision." "That’s good enough for us!" Butch shouted. "Now will that be cash or charge?" "We also take change, personal checks, traveler’s checks, and any other form of currency," Clyde smiled. "Good grief..." Kermit sighed.