Muppet Fanfic: Something worth waiting for

Okay, here's that update... not sure I really love this one, but let's see what you think.
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Oh, thank you, Kermit, thank you!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

It was like striking gold while playing lawn darts in the backyard, then remembering your house was situated over an Incan pyramid: a thrilling discovery that, in retrospect, should not have surprised you.

Kermit... of course, Kermit!

“What else do you like about him?”

“Hmmmph... he’s cute when... he’s mad.”

“Uh huh.”

“He’s ...cute when he... mmmm... panics.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Gonzo agreed solemnly as he filed away his brilliant discovery for, heaven forefend, future reference. If you need to keep someone talking, just bring up his or her favorite subject.

Two year old children living in tribes that had never heard of electricity knew Miss Piggy’s favorite subject.

“Always cute... has flippers.”

“So he does. Are they cute?”

“Flippy, cute and flippy.”

“Cute, flippy flippers.”

The faintest ghost of a smile graced her face and her eyes, though still half closed and far away, had regained some of their sparkle. Gonzo felt a bit better as he held her protectively, waiting impatiently for Scooter to return. Poor Piggy had to fight to speak, to listen, to stay awake but, thank goodness, she was undeniably willing to fight for her frog.

Unfortunately, becoming more aware meant becoming more aware of pain, and more worried about the source of the pain.

“My head hurts... where is he? Where’s flipper... frog?” Piggy shifted so that she was actively clinging to him now, helpless as a child, frightened as one newly awoken from a nightmare. “I don’t know where he is.”

Gonzo rubbed her back, as helpless as she to fix this. “Kermit’s in France, Piggy, doing the talk show rounds. Do you remember that?” He felt her head move in a tiny little nod against his neck. She sighed sadly and whispered, “Want Kermie back.”

“Me, too.” Gonzo agreed.

Shortly thereafter, Scooter returned, physically dragging the enormous Sweetums, who was certainly the most trustworthy of the monsters. “Oh, thank goodness. We’re going for a ride now, Piggy.” Gonzo had seen the unnerving vulnerability in her pain-shadowed eyes and knew that panic was not far off. He had never seen the pig actually panic in all the years he’d known her, but even when perfectly in control of her emotions, Piggy was a force to be reckoned with.

“Sweetums here is gonna carry you so we don’t hurt your head, okay? I’ll make sure he keeps them where I can see ‘em so you don’t have to wallop him, Piggy.” Rowlf chuckled softly behind him in easy appreciation.

Reluctantly, Gonzo relinquished her to the monster’s care, watching intently as Sweetums bent down and scooped her up like a baby. He made his way cautiously down the stairs, not helped at all by the Muppets hovering anxiously.

“I called the hospital, so they’re expecting us. How’s she doing?”

“All things considered, I think she should have stayed in bed this morning.”

“Yeah,” the dog snorted softly, “I’m sure she wishes she had.” Fozzie held the door open as they made their way outside. The car was running, doors wide open, ready for their mission of mercy.

“Careful, careful. Oh, don’t touch her ear!”

An anguished shriek tore its way free from her throat as her injured ear brushed against the lip of the door. The wound was reopened and started bleeding profusely as Piggy kicked and writhed in protest.

“Whoa, I’m sorry about that. Hold still!” Sweetums looked as contrite as a long furred, heavy browed, yellow-eyed monster could. Her delicate ears were terribly exposed perched as they were at the top of her head.

Gonzo darted into the backseat from the other side. “Give her to me! Just lay her down!” Sweetums obeyed, releasing her awkwardly onto the seat, her legs still thrashing out the door. The blonde managed to land several good kicks in her panic. Frantically, Gonzo took hold of her under her arms and pulled her up, still struggling, into his lap.

“Piggy, Piggy! Oh, please, calm down! You need to breathe, Piggy, just breathe. I know it hurts- ow!” She clocked him in his prominent nose with a wildly flailing elbow.

“What’s going on? What’s going on?!”

He wound his furry blue arms around her, tucking her head against his shoulder. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. We’re going to the hospital. Everything’s going to be okay.” Then, Gonzo started to sing “Rainbow Connection,” a familiar song usually sung by a very familiar frog. Piggy froze, and then relaxed in his arms, instantly comforted.

Soon Fozzie too was crooning along. Piggy attempted to join in, but dropped wearily out after only a few bars. Still, she listened, occasionally mouthing the words when it suited her. Music hath charms to soothe the… er, well… just about everyone, really.

When she was settled again, Gonzo dropped the song. “Rowlf, are you coming?”

“I better stay here. Scooter wants us to go ahead with the rest of the rehearsal if we can. I’ve got a few numbers-”

“Alright, Fozzie and I will stay with her ‘til we know something more.”

“Should I call Kermit? He’d want to know what happened.”

A funny sort of reluctance gripped Gonzo, but he couldn’t pinpoint a reason for it. “Uh, I don’t know. What do you think, Fozzie?”

The bear looked thoughtful, carefully avoiding looking at the backseat. Finally, he shook his head. “No, don’t call him yet. He won’t be able to do anything, and it will only worry him. I think we should wait until we know that she’s okay.” Good ol’ Fozzie.

“Makes sense. He doesn’t need that kind of stress right now.”

“Kermie?” Piggy clutched Gonzo’s hand tightly, face twisting in renewed worry.

“We better get going.”

Sweetums and Rowlf shut the doors and Fozzie started to drive off when a strident voice called.

“Wait! Wait up! I’m coming too!”

“Rizzo?” The rat thudded into the door without fanfare.

“I’m coming too, open up!”

Rowlf let the little creature into the car and shut the door again.

“Ready?”

“Are we?” Gonzo asked pointedly to Rizzo.

“We are.” Rizzo replied haughtily before giving Piggy’s arm a gentle pat. “Aren’t we, princess?” Piggy didn’t answer.

“Piggy, what do you think Kermit’s best quality is?” Rizzo shot Gonzo a strange look, but his face cleared when Piggy roused herself to give an answer.

“He’s dreamy.” Despite it all, Fozzie rolled his eyes. “And he makes other people dreamy.” They looked at each other, perplexed.

“What the hey?”

But Gonzo sat up straight with sudden insight. “You mean ...he helps them believe in their dreams?”

Piggy smiled tenderly. “Yep. Dreamy.”

“Aw, geez, that’s sweet.” Rizzo muttered, looking away.

Gonzo shook his head wistfully. “You know, I think you’re right. That is his best quality.”

“I believe in me when he’s around.” Piggy sighed with startling clarity, completely unguarded.

“Getting her talking about the frog... that’s good. Your idea?” Rizzo asked softly.

“Yep.”

“Who’da figured?”

“Nice, Rizzo.”

The rat smirked at him before turning his attention back to Piggy. “So, Pigster, you still plan on marrying the frog?”

“...Love my Kermie.”

“Right, right. So tell me about the wedding. What colours are you going with?”

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The ride to the hospital passed quickly, and soon Fozzie had pulled into the emergency lane, parked and leapt out.
“Excuse me, uh, excuse me. Would you mind terribly if-"

“Sir, you can’t park here. This is for emergency vehicles only.”

“Oh, yeah, I know, but it’s just that-”

“No excuses, sir.”

“Right, but-”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Rizzo, who had been struggling to open the heavy door, finally gave up and rolled down the window. “We got a hurt pig emergency over her! You better get moving now ‘cause this is the Miss Piggy and if she finds out you didn’t treat her properly then the minute she’s back on her feet, you are going to have a hurt pig emergency!”

In seconds the car was surrounded by EMT’s trying to get Miss Piggy out of the car and on to a gurney.

“This is the head injury we were contacted about?”

Gonzo was pulled aside to answer questions about Piggy’s health while Fozzie was presented with a stack of baffling medical forms.

Rizzo strayed a little too close to a four year old in for blood work and found himself being dragged around by the tail for the better part of an hour. “Listen, you’re a fun tyke, but I’m real busy so if you could just let go of that-”

Piggy was soon ushered away from them and then, there was nothing to do but wait and worry.

“Do you know Piggy’s mother’s maiden name?”

There was almost nothing to do but wait and worry.
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Oh wow....loving this SO much!!

Ohhhhhhhhhh I love it! The, "He's dreamy... And he makes other people dreamy..." OH, I love it! Can I hug it? I'm hugging it. I love it. And Rizzo getting her to talk about the wedding... sheesh... “I believe in me when he’s around.” Piggy sighed with startling clarity, completely unguarded. Ohhhhh man, can I hug that pig? Is somebody recording this? I think Kermit needs to hear it. And soothing her with Rainbow Connection... and ohhhhhh...

And diction! It was like striking gold while playing lawn darts in the backyard, then remembering your house was situated over an Incan pyramid: a thrilling discovery that, in retrospect, should not have surprised you. I love it! And Two year old children living in tribes that had never heard of electricity knew Miss Piggy’s favorite subject. Oh, it makes me so happy!

Piggy's mother's maiden name? Oy, there sure is a lot on those forms...

MORE PLEASE!

Thanks so much, girls! And here I was all nervous! Oh, gee, Lisa, now that you said Kermit needed to hear Piggy, I want him to hear it too. You're fiendishly evil, you know that? Of course I mean that in the nicest of ways.
I feel like nagging myself for more now... but you've beaten me to it.

I'm relieved that you liked the dreamy thing... she insisted on saying it, but I was arguing with her the whole way... if that makes sense to you. (And since you're you, it probably does.)

Quick question: Would you rather see more of this or more of the behind the scenes stuff? I don't know where to direct my energy.

Quick answer: Yes.

<shifty eyes>

All right, so if I had to choose, I'd say more of this. That way if you get stumped, you can always take a little break with a short story behind the scenes thing, and hop back in.

And yes, that made perfect sense to me, but why make sense when it's more profitable to make dollars?

And yes I do know that I'm fiendishly evil- I pride myself on it, particularly in writing. But I could say the same is true of you, you cruel player of emotions...

MORE PLEASE!

Ok--I'm pacified now that we've got Piggy into competent medical hands, and I like the way "the boys" have rallied around our girl now that she needs them. (You notice that--as irritating as Miss Piggy ever is, none of the guys ever question what Kermit sees in her--they know.) Leyla, honey, you just keep on writing whatever comes out--you know what I mean when I say you don't always get to choose. Just keep 'em coming.

P.S. Our church hosted a special service this evening. At one point, watching the pastor running around trying to wrap up the final details before all the people arrived, I leaned over to one of the other women in the choir and said, "He reminds me of Kermit the Frog," which caused a lot of well-deserved snickering. (I am probably not going to be allowed back in the choir....)

Love it! Piggy's favorite topic, Kermie, and everyone singing Rainbow Connection! How cute!

I also loved Rizzo getting pulled around by that little kid, hehe, i love muppets with little kids!!!

You asked for it! And you have no one to blame but yourselves.... Now don't get worked up, this isn't particularly exciting... but I'm just about finished with another update on top of this one, so we'll get to see more of this tonight, unless I decide it's unpostable.

Thanks for the comments! They really do make me keep writing! (Smiles, I love seeing Kermit get froghandled by the little boy on Extreme Makeover. It's so cute!)

Ruahnna: So glad you're pacified! (Love the way you call them "the boys"). Rizzo, at least once said he didn't know what Kermit sees in Piggy (or how he sees around her). I wish you were in my church choir... although it's probably better for society in general, and the nerves of our pastor's, that two Kermit and Piggy lovers like us are seperated.

TogetherAgain: This one's for you... my first MC cameo... of sorts. Thanks for the advice. It sounds like a good plan. It's good to be evil in writing, isn't it?


The dress rehearsal went on without them, as it had to, leaving Scooter and Rowlf to compensate for their absences.
An odd sketch featuring the Koozebanians went by with comparative smoothness before it was time for Fozzie’s monologue. Rowlf read through the painstakingly crafted gags, looking rather perplexed as he hit what he assumed were supposed to be punch lines. “I guess ‘wocka, wocka’ just doesn’t sound the same coming from me,” he mused philosophically when no one cracked even a smile. It didn’t help that they were all hospital jokes.

Having played the bear for a few minutes, Rowlf was happy enough to hop off the stage and into the pit, joining the mayhem for their latest foray into classical music. In light of the accident, some of the energy that usually crackled in the air had dissipated. Nobody could deny with any honesty that the band’s performance fell short of their usual high standard. Not even Animal wanted to fire off the cannon again.

Fortunately, Rizzo’s absence had not impacted the rehearsal directly as he was only in a few choruses, but the other rats had gotten a little out of control, arguing amongst themselves about who their interim leader would be, in case he didn’t return. The dress was going terrifyingly according to plan, lacking that wild spark of madness that distinguished The Muppet Show from anything else out there.

Piggy had already done her big opening number at least, leaving only the Best of Broadway Medley that she was missing. In the great Muppet spirit of making do, Scooter dug up a blonde wig and the lyrics she was supposed to sing before marching on stage with as much boldness as he could muster. He didn’t even bother singing the lines, just read them in time to fill in the holes. Most of the cast and crew had caught up on the gossip by this point, and knew why their mezzo-soprano lead had taken to speaking in a youthful tenor. It threw everyone off a bit, but they pushed through the medley anyway, with only a minimal amount of pointed comments about ‘Miss Scooty’s’ new hairstyle.

Scooter was thoroughly grateful when it was over.

Having run it as best they could to the end of the show, Scooter and Rowlf next sat down to consider what they should do if Piggy was unable to perform the next night, as seemed likely.

“You look good as a blonde.” Scooter made a face at Rowlf and quickly took off the wig, the attempt at levity falling flat on deaf ears.

“That got us through for now, anyway, but what about tomorrow night?”

“Well, there’s only two options, change the numbers... or find another lead.”

“The show’s tomorrow. Not much time to do either.” Scooter rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m too young for this kind of stress.” Rowlf smiled sympathetically.

“You never know... she might be alright by the show. Goodness knows Miss Piggy doesn’t like to miss a number.”

“We could ask Annie Sue to do it.” Scooter sighed heavily. “Piggy would just love that. Then I could spend some nice time relaxing in the same hospital. Maybe we can share the same room.”

Rowlf steepled his nimble fingers before looking seriously at the go-fer. “I hope she’ll be in good enough shape to express her opinion about that by tomorrow.”

“Yeah... I hope she’s alright too. Shouldn’t we have heard something by now?”

“These things take time, and when it comes to doctors, no news is good news... trust me.” The two Muppets sat together then in uneasy silence, pondering their next decision.

“Any suggestions in the Book?”

Even halfway around the world, the frog had not abandoned them entirely. Before he left, Kermit had created a sizable reference book titled: “In Case of the Inevitable”. In it, he had listed a slew of potential, and probable, disasters that might come up, along with step-by-step instructions for dealing with those disasters. The entries in the book ranged from the mundane, everyday disasters like the chapters titled, “Handling Hecklers” and “What to do if ___________ eats ______________”, all the way to a hefty chapter simply titled, “Piggy.” Nearly all of the entries in that chapter ended with the number of a classy florist. Naturally, they had taken some pains to ensure Piggy had not see then the Book. The last words in Kermit’s chef-d’oeuvre were simply, “If all else fails, call me.”

Scooter looked up hopefully, and scooped up the book from Kermit’s tapge. He paged quickly through it, occasionally nodding in approval or shaking his head in amazement.

“Number for Animal’s control officer, cheap drum supplier, psychological counselor. Oh, here’s Piggy’s section: Turn Piggy loose on Fleet Scribbler... that’d be an efficient way of distract him, alright... tell Piggy’s she’s lost weight, keep her away from the guest star, try to duck, try to go limp.... It’s all good advice, but not very helpful in this case. I guess ... I guess Kermit didn’t figure on her getting hurt.”

“How could he have? Everyone knows she’s invincible.” Rowlf took Kermit’s Book from Scooter.

“We knew she was invincible... and now we know better.”

“Live and learn, Scooter.” Rowlf tapped a page lightly. “Well, we’ll call the florist anyway. Maybe set up a nice Welcome Home, Get well Soon, basket, something like that.”

“That’ll cheer her up, anyway, if she can’t perform.” Scooter shrugged haplessly. “You wanna talk to Annie Sue or should I?”

Rowlf had closed the Book and was now looking past Scooter, registering mild surprise. “Oh, I’ll do it. You can handle the other thing.”

“What other thing?” The go-fer was already turning to follow the pianist’s line of sight. Beaker ran past in a panic, smoke rising from his head.

“Talking Beaker out of quitting to become an auctioneer...again.”

“Oh, great. Thanks a lot, Rowlf.” But the dog had already made good his escape. “Beaker, Mr. Beaker! I know, I know, but I keep telling you, you haven’t got the diction to be an auctioneer!”

There was a pause, filled with outraged meeps. “No, I don’t think you’d make it as a narrator either... Beaker? Well, don’t take it personally, now.”

-----

“According to this, Britney Spears had an alien baby.”

“Again?” Gonzo muttered, nonplussed, not looking up from the gossip rag he was holding. He hadn’t been reading it. His mind was going over the accident, berating him for his lack of caution. Cannons are dangerous; I should have looked! Fozzie peered at him in concern, sighed and returned to his own battered tabloid.

“Hospital waiting rooms are not as entertaining as I’ve been lead to believe. Hey! There’s an article about Piggy in here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” Gonzo leaned over to get a look. “That’s a nice photo... do you think she knows about it?”

Fozzie had been skimming the text. He gasped softly... “Not if the writer is still breathing comfortably. They’ve been speculating about her age.”

“Face lift stuff again?”

“Yup... with the usual rumours about her and Kermit.”

“Well, she likes those, so the guy probably is experienced enough to hedge his bets.”

“Will you two stop going on about the magazines and help me?!” Rizzo was thrashing in the vice-like grip of the most angelic looking toddler since the last one that had gotten a hold of him. He was really a hit with the pediatric nurses, thoroughly distracting the hyperactive patients so they could get their work done.

Gonzo did not look away from the article. “C’mon, Rizzo, the kids love you. Think about how you’re cheering them up. Besides, I’m a little jealous, look at all the kinks she’s put in your spine. I once tried to get a chiropractor to do that to me, but he got all upset... said something about the Hippocratic oath and ‘playing God.’”

“Gah! This is not fair!” In an effort to cheer up her aggravated plaything, little Lisa overturned her desert cup on him.

A middle-aged doctor chose that moment to stride into the room. After taking in the largely human cliental, he approached Gonzo, Rizzo, and Fozzie. “Hi there, I’m Dr. Welts, you must be here for Miss Piggy.”

“I’m Fozzie, and this is the Great Gonzo, and the guy covered in chocolate pudding is Rizzo, the rat.”

“Dr. Welts... nice name. Artistic.”

“Er, yes, thank you.”

“So, is she alright? Can we see her?”

“Miss Piggy sustained a significant blow to the head, but she’s going to be alright. You can go in and see her. We want to keep her over night for observation. We’ve treated her concussion and we’ve stitched up the cut on her ear.” Fozzie moaned plaintively and Dr. Welts looked at him in concern until Gonzo gestured for him to continue. “Uh, we needed to cut her hair around the injury... she didn’t take to that so well so we administered a tranquilizer to relax her. She’s going to be a little disoriented when you see her... I just want to you to be aware of that.”

“But otherwise, she’s going to be okay?”

“We expect a complete recovery, although she will feel some lingering soreness and headache for the next week or so. From the description of the accident, she’s very lucky.” His gaze was professional, and Gonzo knew the recrimination in the doctor’s eyes was in his own head, but he still felt his cheeks burn with shame. “It could have been much worse.”

“Thanks, doc. Can we see her now?”

“Of course. She’s in room 318.”
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Yay, she's gonna be okay! And I love Kermit's book! And Scooter in a wig, and the whole dang rehearsal, and the gossip rag, and I'm torturing Rizzo! HA! Oh, I love it! I love it I love it I love it- MORE PLEASE!

Ah, I'm sorry to be a tease but I've got to work early tomorrow and I don't want to stay up late enough to fix the next update. It'll be better I think, for the extra time, and it marks a bit of a transition. If the beginning was all the silly set up, and the next section was the scary accident stuff then this will be the transition to... hmmm, not sure what to call it. The recovery maybe... but it's more involved then that.

Well, we'll figure it out.

Glad you like evily torturing Rizzo, Lisa... I just thought, you know, since you like being an evil writer, perhaps you would like being an evil toddler. Thanks for the encouragement!

I just found out today that I will be going away to French camp for five weeks of fun, the problem with that being that I will be limited in internet access to french websites. Although, I can email in english... anyone want to post my writing for me for a while? (mid- May to Mid June) Oh, darnit! I'm coming back just as your leaving Lisa! Sadness, sadness!

Leyla

Ooh--Piggy's getting a haircut from anywhere but an exclusive salon--hope the hospital had malpractice insurance. Good one!

Incidentally, my mother once saw a Dr. Hurte--who actually shared a practice with a Dr. Paine.

Yeah, she's gonna love what the nurses did to her alright. Those Dr. names are hilarious, Ruahnna. I've heard that in my area there's a Dr. Pain and a Nurse Killer, but I've never had the pleasure... or displeasure.

Nice long update for you, enjoy!

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“Oh, Piggy.” Fozzie removed his hat as he approached her. It was a stunning thing to see someone usually so vibrant, so ferociously glamorous in such a humble state. She was sleeping, pale and quiet under the thin hospital blanket. Her head was wrapped tightly in a bandage with only a few blond curls escaping and there were two IV’s running into her arm. One held a clear fluid, the other, blood.

Her ears had been left exposed to the air and they showed a sort of before and after picture of the effects of the accident; one ear, delicately curved, fleshy and pink and healthy; the other, still pink, but marred by an angry red line punctuated with tiny black stitches. The jagged tear, where earlier it had spoken of an impact too violent for truth, now seemed somehow more ghastly and more real since it had been treated. Shock’s sweet, mercy-filled, emotional delay was slipping past them while their courage lagged behind, still panting for breath.

Muffled sobbing reached Gonzo’s ears and he looked over. Then, he looked down. “Oh, Rizzo.” He tugged the little fellow against his leg caring nothing for the cold, wet pudding. “Easy there, tough guy. I know it looks bad, but remember, she’s going to be okay.” Rizzo shuddered against his leg, choked sobs giving way to quiet sniffles.

Fozzie moved quickly to Piggy’s side, the compassion that was so much in his nature sparking a boldness that was not. Shyly, he picked up her bare hand, the one that had not been pierced by a helping needle. “Oh,” he whispered sadly, “your hands must be cold without your gloves.” With all gentleness, he chafed her fingers lightly.

Piggy stirred at Fozzie’s touch, eyes flickering open as she inhaled slowly. “Did I miss my cue?” Her voice was clearer, stronger than it had been after the accident, but her eyes were still blearily unfocused. Gonzo would have given up “Gary,” his favorite flamethrower, to feel that it was really Miss Piggy peering out from under the swathes of fabric, instead of this sleepy-eyed stranger.

Fozzie evidently did not share Gonzo’s misgivings. His face lit up with a radiant smile, pure sunshine on this dark day. “What? You, miss a cue? Not likely.” He hesitated, thinking, and then... “You’re an excellent speller, wocka, wocka!”

“Oy, brother.”

“Fozzie, maybe this isn’t the best time.”

“Oh.” The bear cringed, and would have apologized, but Piggy was smiling gently at him.

“Fozzie, you’re silly.” She squeezed his hand with perfectly manicured fingernails. “Speller, hmm, that’s cute.”

“You must have gotten her in her sense of humour, buddy.”

“It’s the medicine... has to be.” Gonzo shook his head. “Oh, I hope it’s the medicine.”

“It is not. Piggy just recognizes a great joke when she hears it.” Fozzie replied, still beaming at her. “How’s your head?”

“I don’t know; I’ve never been there,” came the utterly serious, spacey reply.

A beat, and then Fozzie burst out laughing; his own particular sense of humour was tweaked, but there was more relief than mirth in the sound. “Ah, ah! You see? That was fuuunnnyyy!”

Piggy winced at the loud sound, and the bear quieted, amusement knocked out of him as suddenly as it had appeared.

“I’m sorry.”

She stared at him solemnly for a moment then touched his nose playfully. “That’s s’okay.” Perking up, Miss Piggy lifted her head and took in the room, acknowledging Gonzo and Rizzo with a giggle. “I see you!” She trilled brightly. “I mean, moi sees you... vous.” All three of her visitors exchanged uneasy glances. “Where’s Hilda? I have to talk to her about my dress for the show tomorrow. I- moi simply cannot have those fluffy things following me around again.”

“Uh, Miss Piggy, you’re in the hospital. Hilda’s back at the theatre, uh, she’s probably already working on your dress.” Fozzie shot a desperate glance at Gonzo, a non-verbal plea to take over the talking. Doesn’t want to fill her in about everything... I don’t blame him.

The patient, who’d been rather passive up ‘til this point, struggled into a sitting position without the slightest interest in Fozzie’s startled protests.

“But, we aren’t doing the hospital sketch this week, are we? Moi thought that was next week.” Blue shone clear as her eyes widened. “I don’t know my lines, yet... is it even written?” Alarmed, Piggy pushed down the covers, swinging her legs out quickly and setting her bare feet on the cool tile.

“Oh! Uh, Miss Piggy, your legs! Er, uh...” If Fozzie blushed any harder his head would explode from the blood pressure.

“Wow,” Rizzo murmured, getting a rat’s eye view. He swallowed hard. “That is to say-” Piggy ignored Rizzo in favour of watching after Fozzie, who had lost the ability to speak along with his composure. “What’s the matter with the him?” she asked flatly.

Gonzo moved to rescue the flustered bear. It wasn’t any more skin than she’d shown off during the Moulin Scrooge number, really... although she’d been in sheer hose then. “Piggy, this isn’t a sketch. This is a real hospital, and er, your legs are lovely, really, very, very nice, but, uh-”

The pig glanced down at her legs, then back up at Gonzo. “Shoes. Where are the shoes?”

This isn’t going well. Okay. “Here, let’s just get you back into bed.” The ... Whatever peeled back the blankets, and had bent to scoop her legs onto the bed when his spine warned him of danger.

“Pardon moi! Just what do you think you’re doing, buster?!”

“Uh, I was just-” he locked eyes with Piggy, who was suddenly very much the pig he remembered. He was overwhelmed with joy... and a sense of impending doom.

“Hands off or I’ll break ‘em off for ya!” Gonzo looked into her irate face and saw the future.... There was gonna be pain.

“Hiiiii—yaaa!”

Yep. There it is. She took a swing at him and connected with enough force to knock him over, but not to send him flying. Bruises on bruises, today and I’m gonna feel this one tomorrow. On a normal day, I’d be on cloud nine, and even as is....

It was poor Fozzie who got the worst of it. As Piggy swung, she inadvertently yanked out the IV’s, sending small flecks of blood straight into his face. It was hard to say who was more surprised. As the blonde reflexively clutched her hand, Fozzie processed what he’d been splattered with and promptly fainted. After gaping at the scene for a moment, Rizzo darted out into the hall, looking for aid.

“What... what? I have to sit down.” Piggy slid trembling to the floor beside Fozzie. Gonzo hurriedly rolled over to check on them both.

“Wake up, buddy. You’re okay.” He took firm hold of the bear’s shoulder and shook him. “You’re okay. Piggy? You alright?”

“I- I don’t know. What-” but she shook her head before she finished her question.

“You got hurt, Piggy, at the theater. It’s gonna be okay, though.” It seemed like such an empty, repetitive promise, but Gonzo knew in his head it was true, even it he couldn’t yet feel it in his heart. She touched Fozzie’s cheek, then looked at him, unspoken questions tumbling in those amazing eyes. “He’s not hurt, Piggy. Just a little… sensitive.”

Piggy reached out and caught his blue wrist, letting go almost immediately. He was startled by the contrition on her face. “I’m sorry I hit you, Gonzo.” She lowered her head. “I didn’t know what you were doing.” She turned her eyes back to Fozzie’s limp form. “I didn’t mean to scare him.”

“It’s okay.” He fiddled his hands together uneasily. “Fozzie’ll be fine and I... I deserve worse than that, Piggy, believe me, but- but, I’m glad to see you’ve still got it in you.” Gonzo smiled crookedly at her, until finally, reluctantly, she returned it.

“Ooh, I don’t feel so great.” Fozzie complained, lifting his head up wearily. Piggy and Gonzo each took a hand and helped the bear to his feet.

“Oh, your IV’s are out!” Looking none too impressed with any of them, a silver-haired nurse whom Rizzo had fetched firmly escorted Piggy back into bed. “This is gonna hurt, young Missy, but you went and did it to yourself so don’t blame me.”

Piggy watched in something approaching bewilderment as the nurse reinserted the IV’s, peppering her conversation with a litany of complaints about ill-behaved patients. Gonzo supported Fozzie as he recovered, fanning him with a journal. He was unable to repress a bit of amusement at seeing Piggy overwhelmed by the nurse’s brusque manner. Not sure which of them is lucky that Piggy’s not feeling more energetic.

“Now, stay there and rest, and no more giving me a hard time.” The nurse swept an iron look at each of them. “You three, if you disturb my patient again I’ll have you out of here so fast your heads will spin.”

Satisfied with what she saw in their faces, she turned on her sensible flats and left them.

“Boy, gal’s a charmer, isn’t she?” Piggy growled as she turned on to her side and propped her head up. “So, moi was in an accident?”

“You really don’t remember then?”

“If moi did, moi wouldn’t be asking.” Gonzo thrilled to the musical sound of her growing annoyance, before guilt again wrung his heart. Confession time.

“It... I was doing my act Piggy, with a cannon... you remember Betsy… I was stupid though; I didn’t check to see if she was loaded,” The words were spinning out of him now. “And it turns out she was, so that when she fired me, I ended up on the floor in flame, and - the cannonball ended up hitting the catwalk above... you and Hilda. It fell- and you got hit.”

“I don’t remember…. Why don’t I remember that?” Amnesia was a troubling thing.

“Well, you got hit in the head pretty hard. You wandered away, trying to take care of yourself I guess, by the time we found you, you’d lost a lot of blood. Your ear... got cut pretty badly.”

“What?” Piggy started to get out of bed again.

“No, no, please just stay there. We were so worried... and I don’t want the nurse to yell at us again.” Fozzie turned pleading eyes on Piggy in a fashion not entirely different from the look she gave Kermit on a regular basis. “Please?”

He wasn’t nearly as good at it.

Piggy was unmoved. There was steel in her voice. “I need to see what I look like. I need to see a mirror! Please!”

“You look- you look fine,” Gonzo offered, and though one could debate the truth of that statement, he meant it.

Her voice dropped to something fragile and frightened, and entirely manipulative. “Please, I need to see.”

The blue weirdo sighed. There’s still no arguing with her. “Okay, but you, you just stay there. I’ll find you a mirror.”

“Heh, buddy, she’s got you wrapped around her finger almost as bad as she gots Kermit.” Rizzo made a little mock bow as Gonzo rolled his eyes.

Piggy turned on the rat with a sly smile. “Rizzo, dear, do you think you could see what those doctor’s did with moi’s clothes... especially the shoes.” She was sweetness personified as she crooned at Rizzo who looked trapped like a ... well, you get the idea. “It wouldn’t be very good for anyone if moi doesn’t get them back.”

“Yeah, Rizzo, that wouldn’t be good at all.” Gonzo couldn’t fight the smile, though he was dreading her reaction.

“Uh, I’ll... be right back.” He turned tail.

It took almost twenty minutes for Gonzo to locate the item in question. Piggy was clearly feeling worse, losing the adrenaline from her rough awakening. She began to shiver, feeling the effects of the medicine pouring into her arm. Fozzie tucked the blanket tightly around her, wishing it were a warmer blanket. Because she asked, he gave her a more precise account of what had happened, including her good timing in pushing Hilda out of the way of the walkway.

“Now that you’re awake, we’ll need to call, Kermit.”

“You haven’t yet?” Her expression was inscrutable, and Fozzie wished Gonzo and Rizzo would hurry.

“Um, we, we didn’t want to worry him before we had any information about how you were doing.” Fozzie sat up a little straighter, hope blending curiously with wariness. “Now we can give him the good news that you’re okay!”

Piggy looked uncomfortable. “Don’t... don’t rush to call, Kermie. I’m fine.... it won’t be necessary.” Her hands touched the bandage on her head. “Where’s that weirdo with my mirror?”

On cue both Rizzo and Gonzo dashed into the room. Rizzo was struggling with a paper bag twice his size and Gonzo was dangerously brandishing an ornate little hand mirror over his head. “I’ve got it, Miss Piggy, I’ve got it! And boy it wasn’t easy!”

“Watch it, we don’t need anymore bad luck!” Rizzo had dropped the sack and was watching the mirror like it was made of the Swedish Chef’s beef Wellington.... very carefully.

“First, I started asking the nurses, and they were pretty nice until the Warden showed up.”

“The Warden?”

“Nurseferatu,” Piggy growled, trying and failing to snatch the swinging mirror.

“Right, so I had to ask around and then some nice lady named Catharine pointed me to the gift shop.”

“And then you got the mirror. Great story. Now, give it to me.”

“No, then I didn’t have a wallet to buy the mirror, so I had to do an act to raise enough money for it.”

“What happened to your wallet?”

“I left it back at theatre. Anyway, so I was reciting the script to our first movie in haiku form while juggling stethoscopes when the Warden spots me again!”

"You've broken a lot of mirrors in your lifetime, haven't you?"

Gonzo pressed on. “So, I had to stop even though I was getting to the really good part with me and Camilla.” He took a deep breath,

“Frog and bear did crash
Gonzo and Camilla flew
I was hopping mad.”

“Enough! Give me the mirror!” Piggy was one atom short of meltdown.

Still, Rizzo couldn’t resist commenting. “They probably paid you just to stop.”

“A gig’s a gig, Rizzo. Anyway, Miss Piggy, here it is.”

Gonzo slipped the looking glass into her waiting hand and watched as Piggy had her eyes truly opened.
-------------------------------------------------

Wow... I am way to asleep and spinning through way too many emotions to comment properly... But I promise, I will! Tomorrow, ish... and, MORE PLEASE!

Oh, I'm just biting my nails wondering what she'll do next! Will she want Kermit to rush home, or not let anyone tell him? Will she be afraid for him to see her? Will he be filled with contrition over their argument? (Will that nasty tabloid reporter sell the story to a sleazy French tabloid?) I'm going to tune in next time!

(I'm so sorry my posts don't look very slick and polished--I can't seem to move around in here as well as everyone else.)

I wondering what will happen when she sees herself. XD!!

You have no idea how happy I am that you are liking this story. Oh, wait, all three of you are writers... so you probably do.

Frankly, Renee, I'm wondering that too! (Well, I have a plan... but deciding the timing is another issue altogether.)

Together Again, gee, it's great to be... oops. Song stuck my head again. I look forward to seeing what you thought whenever you get around to it. Cuddles!

Ruahnna, don't be silly, worrying about slick and polished posts! You can spell! That makes you a rare gem of the internet. (If you're wondering how to divy up the quote passages, I usually just use quote in square brackets, and end it with /quote, also in square brackets. That's just to be helpful. Doesn't bother me one iota how you post! I'm just happy you do! Thanks so much for that review! It's really helpful to see through your eyes how I'm portraying the characters. I'm still not 100% comfortable with writing them, but I'm getting there.

It's always fun to take a strong character and put them in a vulnerable position... provided you are a monster like me. Besides, I'm convinced that Piggy is, in fact, massively, desperately insecure and she's often overcompensating for that. I refure to answer your questions on the grounds that they incriminate me, nor will I mention how very insightful you are... oops.

You caught me on both the literary and the name reference, and it was my great pleasure. Somehow I suspected you'd like the boys reactions to Piggy's leg flash. Well, hoped anyway. Thanks muchly darling!

All three darlings!

P.S. It's gonna be a busy weekend. No updates till Monday at the earliest. Sorry, lovies.

I almost couldn't stop laughing when I read the part about Rizzo's rat eye view of Piggy. He will NEVER forget that most likely. Now...I have a bit of a twisted mind.

Question though: Did Rizzo see...that? Or just seeing her legs bare and unclothed was enough of a shock for the little suffering rat?

Not sure which...at first reading my mind (slightly twisted and unfortunately perverse as it is) was thinking the first part. That would account for the near faint.

Ooh boy, now there's a question... how shall I answer this? Erm... I believe reading is a constructivist process, meaning that the reader takes the words that the author arranges and creates their own understanding of what happens. So, in other words, how you see it, is how it is, for you.

If you're asking what I was thinking when I wrote it, I was thinking it was the Muppets, and full out flashing is a bit too risque for the little cuties. Call it a near thing if you will. Gonzo does say that she wasn't showing anything she hadn't before, if that helps.

Besides, I like Fozzie, and I didn't want to kill him.

Geez-Louise, Renee! And I was worried about my story with Kermit commenting on Piggy's leopard-print underpants! Methinks the sight of a genuinely in-the-barely-covered-by-a-hospital-gown-flesh Miss Piggy would be enough to cause ANYONE to faint. (Except maybe Animal.)