Muppet Fanfic: Something worth waiting for

Heehee, well thanks for the nag. It's nice to be wanted, eh? Glad that last little chapter was enjoyed... it was tough going cause I had to double and triple check for the occasional french word, and I had to write it in ten minute bursts. Next chapter looks to be a bit blue... and I'll get it out as soon as I can!

Yaaaaay! You're baaaaack! (Jumps up and down with Piggy, causing serious concern about the stability of the floor.) Yay! We missed you! Post more story! Yay!

Whoops, sorry about the wait!

Not sure what you'll think of this chapter... it's basically a huge pity party... so, er, beware. (Well, Piggy's not gonna break down with everyone watching her!) Things will pick up again eventually.

“Into bed, then.” Nurse Janice prompted her when Piggy hesitated just inside the door to her room.

“I want my clothes back.”

“Get in the bed first, and I’ll hand them to you.” The women stared at each other in a silent battle of wills. Janice resorted to reason. “Come now, there’s no point in wearing yourself out. You’re obviously exhausted.”

Piggy frowned at the nurse, then defiantly snatched up the bag of clothing before climbing onto her rather discombobulated bed. Janice smiled tightly as she pulled the sheets up around her charge, tucking Piggy in with practiced efficiency.

“Stubborn pig.” Piggy ignored Janice and began pulling her clothing out of the bag.

“Hang on a minute. I need to get your IV’s back in, again.” Although she didn’t think much of the old bat’s tone, Piggy let the bag rest in her lap so she could proffer up her already pin-cushioned arm. Janice whistled low. “Well, you’ve certainly made a mess of yourself.”

Piggy looked at her through narrowed eyes. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a wonderful bedside manner?”

“Not while they were under my care. Has anyone ever told you that you have the personality of a truck driver?”

“Not if they wanted to live.” Another cool glare went unheeded as Janice stuck her with the IV needle.

“Good, so we understand each other then.” She was smiling again, and Piggy gradually smiled back.

“We do.”

Nurse Janice looked over Piggy’s arm. “I’m going to get you Band-Aids for those extra holes. Do you still have that headache?”

She shrugged. “Yes, but the room has stopped spinning.”

The silver-haired woman tsked quietly. “If you become dizzy again you’ll have to tell me right away. I’ll check with the doctor to see if I can give you something for the headache as well. Sit tight.”

Piggy waited until the nurse had gone before she gingerly touched the sore areas around the cuts. “I had better not scar from this or there’s gonna be a pig to pay.” She reached into the bag Rizzo had brought her and drew out the skirt she’d changed into between acts a thousand years ago. It was in good shape and neatly folded, making Piggy feel better instantly. She continued to dig out other items, her thigh-highs, her undergarments, her beloved shoes. They’d gotten scuffed at some point but it was nothing a little polish wouldn’t fix. “Better still, I can buy new ones.” Her blouse was not with her other clothing and Piggy puzzled over why that was until the nurse returned moments later.

Janice set down the tray she was carrying and picked up a syringe.

“Oh, yay, just what I need, another hole in moi’s arm.” The nurse smiled.

“This isn’t going in your arm, Miss Piggy.” She laughed softly at Piggy’s shocked indignation. “Relax, it’s not going in anywhere else either. I’m going to add it to your IV.” Piggy tried to recover her dignity as Janice made the injection and set the syringe back down. “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Janice cooed sweetly, teasingly patronizing.

“I think moi prefers it when you’re being an ogress,” Piggy muttered.

“Most people do,” Janice replied sardonically, brusquely swabbing the cuts with a cotton ball. The cool sterilizing alcohol stung, but not enough to distract her from her newest concern.

“Where are the rest of moi’s clothes?”

“Everything’s in the bag on your lap.”

“My blouse is missing.” Janice finished putting the last of the bandages on and straightened.

“The one you were wearing when you came in?”

“That would be the one I’m missing, yes, unless you’ve been going through moi’s closet.” The nurse sighed impatiently.

“We threw it out.”

“What?!” Piggy yelped, outraged.

“You wouldn’t have wanted it back, Miss Piggy.”

“You had no right-”

“Listen to me,” The nurse cut her off quickly. “It was ruined, covered in blood. You wouldn’t want it back. It would have gone to the incinerator hours ago so just forget about it.”

Piggy moaned unhappily. “I liked that blouse.”

“You’re lucky to be alive, ma’am. Think about that. We don’t want to have a repeat of what happened earlier,” she said pointedly.

She glared at her captor, but subsided miserably.

Janice made a quick note on her chart, adding, “I realize that you are a famous actress-”

“Actress-model.”

“-but I’ve never seen anyone so worked up about a haircut... and under emergency circumstances no less.”

Piggy’s mouth worked silently for a few seconds, her eyes threatening to pop out of her head. “You-you... you cut-“

Nurse Janice looked at her in surprise.

“You cut my hair?!”

“Well, of course. You don’t remem-”

“You cut my hair?!”

“Miss Piggy, you were awake when-“

“You cut my hair! Mine!”

The nurse shook her head in astonishment. “It was my job. I had to-” Piggy had scooped up a mirror but now she let it sink to the bed as she slowly raised those striking eyes to stare at Janice.

“You... cut my hair?” It was spoken in a quiet, distinctly threatening voice.

Janice hesitated before nodding seriously. “I am sorry you are upset, but-“

Piggy took a long, stabilizing breath. “No...I understand. You did what you had to. If- if it’s alright with you, I’d like to be alone for a while.”

The nurse looked uneasy. “Are you sure that-“

“I’m...” Piggy fought the urge to scream. “Yes, I am sure.”

Janice nodded, “I understand. If you need anything, the call button is-“

“I know,” Piggy said curtly. The nurse nodded again and walked towards the door.

Just before she left, she said. “I’m sorry, but it really was necessary. It will grow ba-”

“Please go.” The shock was rapidly wearing off to be replaced by overwhelming dread and the beginnings of grief. Her hair. Piggy stared ahead, not letting any of that show on her stony face or her level voice.... and to those that knew her, that would have showed better than anything else could how upset she was.

Janice left.

She wished the other nurse Janice had closed the door. Piggy was alone in the room, but she didn’t feel alone, and that’s what she wanted. Soon enough she really would be alone, and it was better to get used to it early. She couldn’t reach the door to shut it without risking more holes in her person, but she could reach the hospital bed curtains. Feeling a little like she was entombing herself in Scrooge’s bed, Piggy drew the curtains closed and settled back on the bed, considering her situation.

It wasn’t great. Piggy thought about it, then made a decision for which Nurse Janice would hate her.

With a sigh, she reached up and ran her hand along the ugly turban they had imposed on her when she was helpless. She would have to be very careful, and very quiet about this. It would probably hurt, but Piggy was less concerned with that than what her explorations would reveal. She could be brave, very brave when she had to be, but some things were harder to face than others. Piggy looked into the mirror, steeling herself for the worst. “Bald,” she whispered to her reflection. “Scarred. Ugly.” She swallowed hard, picturing what she might see. “A nightmare.” Tears threatened and Piggy stared into her mirrored eyes until she’d mastered them. She was ready.

“Alright then. Here we go.”

With trembling hands Piggy searched for some break in the bandages so she could unwrap her head. When that proved futile, she dug through the sack until she found the nail file she always kept close to her heart. After a few false starts, Piggy managed to cut an end free. She set down both mirror and file and got to work so she could assess the damage. She didn’t, however, work very fast.

It was frightening, so very frightening to think that she could be scarred for the rest of her life. The moment that walkway had careened down on her, a moment that, thanks to the head injury, she could not remember, could have been the end of her career. Piggy really liked her career; she liked the attention, the adventure, the luxury items, the power over others.... It would be a hard thing to let go of all of that... but she remembered being a poor nobody from nowhere, and she knew that she could handle that existence if she had to. More important to her, more important by far, were the people who surrounded her. She really liked her career, yes, but she loved the people. Piggy wasn’t entirely sure the feeling was mutual, however, and if she wasn’t the star, the diva that everyone wanted her to be, well, would they still want her at all?

She put her hands down; they ached with the effort of removing the bandages, though she had not yet finished. Piggy wanted desperately to sleep away all the trauma, to forget for a little while what she was facing, all alone, but she was never one to run from a fight, and this one was not over. After a few minutes, during which she dared not rest her head on the pillow for fear of falling asleep, Piggy continued her unhappy task. With the pressure of the wrapping lessening, her head began throbbing painfully, making every motion more difficult. Worse, every cautious rotation touched the ear so terribly injured and reminded her of the damage already known.

What will Kermie think of all this? With her hair cut, it would be next to impossible to hide the accident from him, though she had in no way given up on the idea of trying. It was hard enough winning him over when she was at her dazzling best, what chance would she have if she ended up the porcine version of Frankenstein’s monster? Alright, easy, girl. Now you’re just panicking. Kermie is wonderful, and sweet, and kind to everyone. “At least he’ll pretend to like me when I’m blending in with the Monsters.” She whimpered and started to wail, but she quickly shut herself up before someone tried to check on her.

The final bit of bandage came free in a sudden clump and she dropped it into her lap in surprise. “Yuccha,” she muttered, hastily pushing the gory thing onto the floor.

“Here goes nothing.” She picked up the mirror, but let it lay on her lap without looking into it. Piggy ran her naked fingers along the smooth metal, feeling the contours of the little flowers on the handle. It was a pretty little mirror, just the kind of trinket she would have waved delightedly around the theatre to show off on a happier day. Now it was a dark window, threatening to show her a future she didn’t want to imagine. This won’t really change anything, she tried to tell herself. It doesn’t mean I’ll lose everyone... it doesn’t mean I’ll lose Kermit. Nothing scared her more than that possibility. It was the one thing she couldn’t face.

But I can face this mirror.

Piggy did.


“AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”

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Missed you, Ru... well, of course, I missed everyone... but I'm still missing Ru (and Toga!).

I did get to finish catching up on this story today and must say that I am really enjoying it. You have such a way with words - wow! I just love your descriptions.

I can't wait to be able to read more.

And another update!

Thanks Count, thanks Java! I really appreciate the encouragement! This part features a phone call from a certain amphibian.

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“Oh, I don’t feel right about this at all.”

Gonzo nodded in sympathetic agreement from the backseat, though Fozzie couldn’t see it. The bear had started the engine but made no attempt to start driving. The trio sat hunched in miserable companionship until Rizzo cleared his throat.

“Uh, maybe we should get going. I don’t like the way that security guard is staring at us… or his cat.” The cat in question, an orange-striped tabby, was watching Rizzo intently, looking as hungry as a cat could.

Fozzie sighed unhappily. “Yeah, Rizzo’s right. We should go.”

Another heavy silence fell upon them until Rizzo spoke up yet again.

“Um… Fozzie… you’re driving.” The bear blinked. “Well, more to the point, you’re not driving.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He looked around sheepishly before putting the car in gear.

Gonzo turned to look up at the ugly, yet efficient building where they’d left Piggy. He kept his eyes on it until Fozzie made a right turn and it disappeared from view. He was startled to find Rizzo watching him uneasily when he turned around.

“Hey, pal. How’re you doing?”

Gonzo merely shrugged and looked away.

“C’mon, don’t worry. She’ll be up and driving us crazy in no time.”

Gonzo said nothing, hoping Rizzo would understand he didn’t much feel like talking at the moment.

No dice.

“If it’s any consolation, you smell like a burnt carpet.”

In spite of himself, Gonzo smiled. “Don’t try to cheer me up, Rizzo.”
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As messengers invariably were, Gonzo, Fozzie and Rizzo were mobbed on returning to the Muppet boarding house. It would have been overwhelming if they weren’t so accustomed to the chaos. Admittedly, they were usually among the mobbers rather than the mobbees.

“Wah!” Fozzie exclaimed in surprise as he was engulfed by questions from all and sundry. Gonzo was subjected to the overload and little Rizzo, easily overlooked when he so chose, made it nearly inside the building before his fellow rats spotted, and subsequently cornered him.

“Whoa, whoa! Hang on a minute, will ya?” Gonzo waved wildly trying to bring some order to the situation… but order really wasn’t his strong suit and they ignored his efforts. Realizing the futility of it, he started responding to those closest to him, trusting that word would spread, by osmosis if in no other way.

Fozzie too had given in to the mad rush and Rizzo had completely disappeared from his sight. Gradually they maneuvered their way into the foyer. Gonzo reported rapid-fire on Piggy’s condition, the trip to the hospital, and the hospital food they found therein, but he refused to speculate on the show and whether she would be recovered enough to perform. He was nearly certain of the answer, but he didn’t want to blurt it out to the myriad faces before him. Rowlf had managed to make his way into Gonzo’s field of vision, gesturing that they needed to talk. Gonzo tried to make his way over, but a flutter of wings distracted him.

“Camilla!” She flew into his arms and he pulled her to his chest in a crushing hug. “Oh honey, I’m so glad to see you!”

Her loving greeting did much to restore his confidence and he burrowed his face into her soft feathers, letting some of his tension ebb away at last. They held each other for a minute before Camilla finally drew back to look him over.

“No, no, don’t worry.” He responded to the softly clucked question. “It’s okay. They’re letting her come home tomorrow morning if everything checks out.”

Camilla clucked again, suspiciously and Gonzo nodded firmly. “Yes, I’m fine. I don’t think she’s mad at me.”

“Bawk?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t as hard as they usually are. She was pretty out of it when she swung.” Gonzo tried not to sound too disappointed.

His on-again girlfriend wasn’t fooled for a minute.

“I’m glad she’s gonna be okay, Camilla, but she wasn’t really acting like herself. I didn’t want to leave her but-”

A heavy paw landed on his shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt, but we’ve got a certain frog waiting on the phone and this dog has no idea what to tell him.”

Gonzo stared at Rowlf in surprise. “Kermit’s on the phone, now?”

The pianist shrugged. “Sounds like our little green buddy to me, and judging by the way he ran upstairs, Fozzie doesn’t want be the one to explain things to Kermit.”

Gonzo winced. “Piggy doesn’t want him to know about this. She’s pretty upset. I don’t want to make things worse.” He looked anxiously at Rowlf. “But I don’t wanna lie to Kermit.”

“Well, somebody’s gotta talk to him and if you wanna keep Piggy’s secret, you better get to the phone before they figure out who’s on the line.”

Gonzo glanced wistfully up the stairs where Fozzie had sought refuge. He sighed and turned towards the phone… just as Pepe was picking it up.

“Allo? Yes, who is this, okay, because I have to make a very important phone call to Denise right now and I don’t have any time to waste on you… unless of course you is a beautiful womans-”

He dashed to the phone like he’d been shot out of a cannon, again, and knocked Pepe away from the phone. “Hello? Kermit?”

“Just because you took the pig out of commission does not mean that you need to take over with the hitting, hokay.”

Gonzo cringed and quickly moved away from the protesting prawn.

“Gonzo?”

“Uh, yeah, the one and only.”

Kermit gave a friendly chuckle. “I seem to remember you saying that before. I’ll get you to catch me up on all the goings-on in a minute there Gonzo, but first tell me, did I hear Pepe say something about Piggy?” His jaw fell open in dismay as his mind reeled. “Is she causing problems again?” There was good-natured exasperation in the frog’s voice.

“What?! Er, I mean, no, of course not, Kermit, not at all. Why would you think there’s a problem with Piggy?” Gonzo closed his eyes regretfully as Kermit leapt on his words.

“’Cause she’s Piggy, Gonzo; she’s always doing something. It’s just a matter of finding out what she’s after. Besides, I know she was disappointed about missing the trip.” An element of concern entered his voice. “You sound funny. Is there something wrong?”

“No! No, no, no, no. Kermit, Piggy doesn’t want you to worry about a thing while you’re gone. She’s not giving us a hard time, honest.” Fozzie reappeared, slinking cautiously over to the phone. Gonzo waved reassuringly as he tried to organize his thoughts. “So, um, how’s the tour going? Where are you now?”

“Oh, well I’m still in Paris. It’s lovely this time of year… uh, don’t mention that to Piggy, would you? There’s no point in making things harder after all.”

“Right, right. My lips are sealed.” It would have been easier to talk to Kermit if Fozzie wasn’t mugging puzzled reactions to everything he said. “Hang on a minute, Kermit.” He slapped a hand over the receiver and hissed, “Unless you want to do this, could ya just give me a minute?”

Alarmed at the idea of talking to his best friend at the moment, Fozzie scampered away, remaining close enough however, to keep an eye on him. Other Muppets began sending curious glances his way, wondering about the phone call Pepe was complaining about.

“Hey there again. So, the tour?”

“I had a television interview today, followed by a quick rundown for one of the big magazines here. It’s a good thing people speak English, otherwise I’d be in over my head. Tomorrow morning I’m gonna be on one of those morning shows, “Bon Matin, Paris” or something.”

“Uh huh.” Gonzo tried his level best to communicate through charades that perhaps Fozzie should dissuade the onlookers, or at the very least, remind them not to mention Piggy, but the bear didn’t understand. Fortunately, Rowlf and Scooter were doing just that and Fozzie soon caught on.

“Actually, that show’s today, rather than tomorrow. Boy, it’s late. Anyway, how’d the rehearsal go today? Is everyone ready for tomorrow?”

Dutifully, Gonzo gave a quick rundown on the rehearsals, reassuring Kermit that things were unusually usual. “I think it’ll be fine, really. I mean, we’ll muddle through somehow, right?”

“Sure, we always do. I have full confidence in you guys. I can hear the gang back there. Hey, could you put me on speaker phone? I want to say hi to everyone.”

“Uh, are you sure you’re not too tired for that? It’s pretty late where you are.”

“Gonzo,” Kermit chided, “Of course I’m sure. It’ll only take a minute. I miss you guys. Put them on.”

Once again, Gonzo covered the receiver. “Gather ‘round guys, Kermit wants to say hi.” In a lower voice he added, “and not a word about Piggy.”

Gonzo hit the speaker button and Kermit’s mellow voice filled the air. As it turned out, they needn’t have worried about letting anything slip about the accident. The rush of voices tumbling over each other in excitement precluded any chance of the frog’s understanding anything anyone said. After a few minutes, and a quick ‘I have complete faith in you,’ pep talk for the upcoming show Gonzo switched off the speaker phone to say goodbye to Kermit.

“Hey, Gonzo, could you put Piggy on for a minute? I don’t want her to feel like I’m ignoring her.”

Blind panic gripped him for an instant. “Piggy? You want to talk to Piggy?”

Utter and complete silence fell in the room for the first time since they’d returned. Muppets leaving stopped and waited to see what would happen.

“Uh… sorry Kermit, Piggy’s… resting right now, so you know, she can’t come to the phone. Well, not that she can’t come… but, she’s sleeping, and I don’t want to disturb her.”

The room held a collective breath.

Kermit was quiet for a moment, and then replied, “Well, I don’t imagine she’d mind too much being woke up for this.” He sounded a little embarrassed. “Besides which, she’ll probably give you a harder time of it if you don’t wake her. I dunno when I’ll be able to call next.”

“Ah, I really don’t want to wake her. She said something about getting forty winks of beauty sleep and uh, you know how she is about that.”

Floyd laughed abruptly, “Miss Porker’s gonna need more winks than that if she wants to be beautiful.” Scattered, guilty laughter echoed behind Gonzo.

“Did you hear that, Kermit?”

“I heard it. Floyd’s lucky she didn’t.” Kermit sighed a little. “Alright then, give her my best when you tell her I called. Make sure you tell her that, or she’ll kill me when I get back. I’ll be home as soon as I can be.”

A few parting words and Gonzo hung up the phone. He turned away from the wall to face the expectant crowd, most of whom didn’t understand why they were hiding things from their leader.

“Did he buy it?” Scooter asked. A sea of heads swiveled to the young voice then back to Gonzo.

“We bought some time anyway. Piggy’ll be around the next time, and then she can figure out what to tell Kermit.”

Fozzie wrung his furry hands nervously. “I hope she leaves us out of it.”

Prison Break!

That's right, she's finally getting out of the hospital, so we can get back into the swing of things.

Thanks for the support and encouragement, Count. I miss Nicole's story and I hope it gets a jump start soon. I'm glad you like the comedy, since I find that trickier than drama.

So, without further adieu... (well, wouldn't Piggy say it that way?)

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Piggy had a better grasp on reality than most people would have credited her, and the shock of her partially shorn scalp and angry wounds passed too quickly to soften the blow. Her horrified scream died sickly into a whimper, but not before it gave cold chills to everyone within earshot. Staff came running. One short gasp and the whimper became a wail, and soon after she was fully immersed in her grief. She wept, and these were no diva, crocodile tears to gain favour. Piggy shook violently with great, hulking, almost painful sobs that belied any kind hearted attempts by nurses to murmur them away. When the adrenaline rush left her trembling with fatigue and misery, nurse Janice took the anguished blonde’s face in her hands and spoke quietly to her, neatly distracting Piggy from the sedative a doctor was adding to her IV.

She fought to control herself even as the medication began to do its kind work. Piggy didn’t mind making a scene when it suited her purposes, but this wild hysteria was an embarrassment even in her distress. Within minutes, sobs were stifled into shuddering hiccups and she felt warmth envelop her. Unable to resist, she resisted anyway according to her nature, forcing her heavy eyelids open in spurts of fading strength. Piggy only knew she’d lost the battle when she woke up the next morning.

“Oooh,” she moaned, when consciousness returned accompanied by what felt like Crazy Harry’s birthday bash running amuck in her skull.

“Ah, good, you’re awake.”

Oh, it can’t be.

Piggy prepared herself for the less than amusing experience of opening her eyes in the warmth of the sun she could feel on her face.

It wasn't enough.

“Gah! Window!”

“Hmm? Oh-”

“Window!”

“Of course, let me get that for you.” The voice was far too dryly cheerful for any sane person to bear. A moment later, the soft brush of curtains dared her to open her eyes again. It still hurt, but less so.

Nurse Janice, now dressed in civies instead of her hospital gear, slid a chair closer to the bed and took it up. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, just gloriously, thank you.” Piggy grated crankily, turning her head away.

“You have no one to blame but yourself.” Janice offered calmly.

“Yeah, I caught that part. Why are vous still here, anyway? Don’t vous have a family to irritate?”

The woman took no offense at Piggy's snarling. “I do, in fact, so I won’t be sticking around too long. However, I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“Oh, that’s so very sweet of you,” Piggy replied, anything but sweetly.

“Not really. I just know your reputation and I don’t want you coming after me for cutting your hair.”

Piggy frowned at her. “Then maybe vous should cease reminding moi about it.”

The woman smiled, unflappable in the face of the vaguely threatening atmosphere. “Maybe I should.”

Silence fell over them, and Piggy stirred restlessly, puzzled my the nurse’s concern and wishing that she would go away.

“Moi am fine. Go away.”

The nurse did not reply, and nagging curiosity finally led Piggy to roll over and face her. “Moi am fine,” she repeated in growing frustration. Please, just go away.

“Good. Glad to hear it.” The other nurse Janice nodded, but she was no longer smiling. “Kind of a bad spell last night though.”

Piggy shrugged awkwardly, not knowing what to say. “Yes,” she settled on eventually. She touched her head and grimaced. “Wrapped moi up like a mummy again.”

“It protects you, and reduces pain… you don’t have to worry about your hair for a while.”

Piggy blinked in surprise. “Was that like a joke?”

“Like one, yes.”

“Her eyes narrowed in suspiscion. "You’ve been talking with the bear haven’t you?”

“Fozzie? Briefly, last night. Your friends haven’t yet arrived this morning, but it’s only seven. You’ll be glad to know they’re releasing you today, after Dr. Martin checks you over. I suggest you follow his advice.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Piggy waved her off before launching into a complaint. “You know, it is just going to be so much fun to face those bozos back at the house. Anyone says anything and they’re gonna regret it, I’ll tell you that!” Her mood shifted abruptly. “Ah, who is moi kidding? I don’t need bandages, I need a paper bag. Oh!” She buried her face in her hands but no tears came.

No sympathy either.

“I could get you one.”

Piggy dropped her hands and glared at her. “Cute.”

“I did get you something though.” The silver-haired woman reached down and then straightened, producing a blouse. It had certainly been worn around the block but it had been quite nice in its day.

“For moi?”

“Well, we did destroy yours. I don’t imagine you wanted to wear a hospital gown home, or have Gonzo rooting through your closet to bring you something appropriate.” Piggy accepted the shirt primly as she tried to recover from her surprise.

“It’s not exactly Christian Dior, is it?”

“‘Fraid not, but it’s all I had.”

“It’s yours?” And still more surprise.

“It was. Now it’s yours. It won’t fit well, but it will serve.”

Piggy was genuinely touched. “Oh. I- Oh… thank you so much dear. I- I appreciate your humble yet generous gift.”

“You’re very welcome, Miss Piggy.” A trickle of regret niggled at her as she considered gift, giver, and her own hastily formed opinion.

“That’s very kind of vous… but why?”

Janice surprised her with an actual blush. “I’m actually- I’m actually a big fan of the Muppets, and uh, you in particular. So is my husband.”

Piggy took this in, and then perked up. “Well, of course you are! Would vous like an autograph?”

They chatted for a few more minutes before the other nurse Janice wearily begged to be excused. It had been a long shift. In consideration for her devoted fan, Miss Piggy waited a full twenty minutes after her departure before getting up and, yet again, freeing herself from her IV’s. “Goodbye forever, horrible pricklies,” she chirped before getting herself dressed.

The blouse, made for a human woman, was no tailored fit, but Piggy, who was no stranger to awkward apparel, tucked it into her skirt until she looked vaguely presentable.

Eschewing the call button, and any thoughts of waiting for Fozzie to retrieve her, Piggy strode out of her room without looking back. At her regal best, despite her attire and mummified head, she surveyed the corridors, then approached a likely trio of young residents.

“- racing down the hall like a maniac!”

“She’s quite a firecracker.”

“I just can’t believe she’s really here. I heard that Kermit-”

“Ahem.” They spun in surprise to see her looking up at them.

“Oh, uh, good morning, ma’am.”

“It’s Miss, actually.”

“Miss?”

“Miss Piggy.”

“Yes, of course. What can we –er, do for you?”

“Moi am leaving." She informed them in a voice that booked no argument. "Vous have two minutes to fill out whatever needs filling out and-“ The tall one was rather cute, wasn’t he? Her voice grew lightly sultry. “To check out whatever needs checking out.”

The trio started looking around uncertainly, particularly the cool glass of water she was eyeing. Piggy dropped the flirt immediately. “You heard me! Move! Move! Move! Move!” The doctors scattered even before they knew what they were going to do as the diva watched in satisfaction.

“Oh, these doctor types. It’s just so easy.” She commented to no one in particular. “I don’t see why Kermit has such a hard time getting what he wants. One simply has to know how to talk to people.”

*wince*

So I did cheer her up too quickly then. I was thinking about that last night. I should always sleep on updates. Thanks very much for the helpful advice, Count. In some ways your reaction meant that Piggy's accomplishing her mission and putting up an effective strong front after her breakdown. I'm no doctor, but I don't think hysterics are a good way to convince anyone that you're fit to be released on your own.

As for any ressemblance to Java, I'm afraid that's pure coincidence. I haven't read her story yet although I've been meaning too. Piggy needed a shirt, and I just thought it would nice for one little bonding scene before saying goodbye to Nurse Janice, the other one, for good.

Thanks for your perspective on this story though, it's useful for me as I try to figure out how to write these characters that we all love. Practice makes perfect, eh?

Ahh! Nagging sticks! Run away!

Yes, twelve hour shifts are long tough ones, even more so with patients like Miss Piggy and nights!

I complain a little too much about the shifts, but I do love my job and as stressful as an ICU enviroment is I wouldn't give it up.

Your portrayal of Miss Piggy as a patient, I think is dead on and you didn't cheer her up to fast, I thought, just had her stay true to how she would want to be percieved. In addition it is the portrayal of Miss Piggy that reminds me why I decided to work with the premature babies and not the adults! (Yes, I know I still have to deal with the family but at least my patient can't literally talk back to me - then again, premies have their own way of controlling their nurses!)

Okay, I'm done muffining about my nursing career in yet another thread.

Leyla, you have a wonderful way with words and I could picture every moment within the scenes. I can't wait to read more if not tomorrow than when I come back.

Yea--I waited and waited for you to come back--and then I went away and now I'M SO BEHIND! But YEA!!! Story, story, story, story! Always a pleasure to see your well-turned phrases.

Count: Oh! Well, now I understand. That's kinda neat that my nurse reminds you of an actual nurse. Coolness. You have a great day too.

Java: I had absolutely no idea you are a nurse. That's really an amazing profession. Goodness knows I could never do it. I'm an elementary school teacher... stressful at times, but not so... scary. I hope you never have a patient (or a parent) so difficult!

I'm so glad you're liking my story. I really like the premise for yours, it's really unique. I've got to catch up on my reading and reviewing. It's a comfort that you feel Piggy wasn't out of character. Isn't it nice that people interpret things in different ways, and it's okay.

Enjoy your trip!

Ruahnna: Ah, I'm just so glad you're back! And I'm back! And soon Lisa will be back! Hurrah! Always great hearing from you!

And so our stories continue...


Fozzie and Rowlf waited a few feet behind as Gonzo approached the receptionist. The two friends were a study in contrast; Rowlf was taking in the less than scenic scenery with an expression of perfect patience. Fozzie, on the other hand, was fidgeting uneasily, his eyes darting from Gonzo to the receptionist to Rowlf and back again.

“Oh, this is taking so long!” He protested in a hushed whisper.

“Hospital stuff usually does, Fozzie.”

“I just want to get Miss Piggy and go home!”

“What’s your hurry? There’s a cute girl over there, looking you over. Why don’t you go say ‘hi’ while we’re waiting?”

Fozzie turned a stricken look towards the woman, who smiled warmly at him.

“I’ve got to get out of here,” he whimpered softly. “Hide me!”

“Well, that’s an option, too.” Rowlf commented, unfazed.

“What?!” Their attention was drawn back to Gonzo and the receptionist. “What do you mean she’s gone?!”

Forgettting about beguiling stares for the moment, Fozzie made a strangled sound and pulled off his hat with a trembling paw. Rowlf shook his head in confusion, and then, noticing Fozzie’s reaction moved quickly to reassure him. “No, Fozzie, I don’t think they mean-“

“This is terrible! This is a tragedy! How could you have let this happen?! You said it would be fine!” Gonzo was carrying on like the word was coming to an end... a peaceful, dignified end.

“Poor… poor Piggy.” Tears were brimming in the bear’s wide eyes.

“Listen, I’m sure they don’t mean-“

Gonzo stomped backed to them, visibly upset. “I don’t, I don’t know how to tell you this, fellows, but Piggy-“

Fozzie abruptly began to wail. “Oh no! How could this have happened? How will we ever tell Kermit?!”

Rowlf patted him awkwardly on the arm. “There, there.” Gonzo shot a questioning look at Rowlf who shrugged. “What’s going on?”

“They sent Piggy home about an hour and a half ago.”

The frazzled receptionist called out, “We did not send her home! The patient insisted on leaving early this morning and so we accommodated her.”

Gonzo turned to face her again. “I don’t understand why you did that. She was way too sick just to go home alone.”

“Dr. Bernstein examined her and pronounced her fit to leave. Anything more than that is between the doctor and the patient.”

“So Piggy’s alright?” Rowlf asked, more for Fozzie’s benefit than anything else.

“So… so Piggy’s alive?”

Gonzo blinked. “Of course she is. Why would you think otherwise?”

“Well, you said, you said she was gone!”

“Well, I didn’t mean gone gone.”

“Well, doggone,” Rowlf chuckled, “Isn’t it time that we get gone?”

Yes,” the receptionist broke in icily, “it is. So, if you will excuse me, I have work to do.”

Fozzie settled his floppy brown hat back in its customary position. “Gee, this isn’t a very friendly hospital, is it?”
Rowlf eyed Gonzo. "You really have a way with women, don't you?"

"So you noticed!"

"Try to avoid 'em, myself... when I can."
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“Oh, yeah?! Well, come over here and say that to my face, you cretin!”

“She’s back,” Rizzo sing-songed cheerfully as he bounded towards the door where Piggy stood, bellowing at some unfortunate individual he couldn't see. “Heya, toots, how’s it goin’?”

She turned and leveled an unfriendly gaze at the rat, whose smile did not fade, though he took a cautious step back. He took in her wrapped head, pale face and visible exhaustion, and then his smile faded. “Oy, you look terrible.”

“So do you, but moi has manners enough not to mention it.”

Rizzo darted in and took her by the hand in order to lead her to a couch. “Sit down before you fall down, why doncha?” Piggy didn’t resist, sinking into the battered sofa with a relieved sigh. With her settled, Rizzo peered expectantly towards the door but no one followed her in. “Where-?”

“It’s quiet,” she murmured, missing his consternation. “Where are the unwashed masses?”

“Washing, if they ain’t still sleeping, and most of them are. I dunno who else is up.”

Piggy could hear the beginnings of the usual tumult in the large bathroom, but little noise elsewhere. She cocked her head, listening. “Beaker is up, but not Bunsen, Dr. Teeth is shaving, Janice is singing in the shower, and there are two, no, three penguins gargling.”

Rizzo stared at her, speechless.

“Not just delicately beautiful,” she informed him archly, touching her unharmed ear, “but useful.”

“Hm, well that is a neat trick.” He couldn’t quite keep the note of awe out of his voice.

“Comes in handy for tracking the frog, too,” Piggy said lightly, letting her eyes drift closed.

“I’m- I’m sure it does.” Rizzo decided that in the future that he would keep a little extra distance between them if he was inspired by a really cutting pig joke.

“I had no idea that it could be this quiet around here,” she mumbled.

Rizzo shrugged and hopped up beside her, angling for a better look. “You ain’t usually up early enough to catch the quiet hour.”

If he’d offended her, she gave no sign. “What are you doing up at this hour anyway?”

“You do know who my roommate is, dontcha? If Gonzo’s up, I’m up.”

“Oh, is he awake? I didn’t hear him laughing… or screaming.”

Rizzo looked at her in confusion. “Of course he’s up, he and the bear and the dog went to pick you up… didn’t they?”

Piggy’s eyes snapped open and she flinched as though it caused her pain. “Oh, um, no, I decided to walk home. Moi just couldn’t stay trapped in that place a moment longer.” Rizzo peered at her in concern for the plaintive tone in her voice and Piggy blinked and straightened. “I mean, they had no idea how to treat a superstar like moi,” she laughed nervously.

“You walked! But you’re hurt!” Boldly, he scrambled up the back of the couch and laid a paw on her forehead. “Have you got a fever? Or did you just get your brains scrambled? I mean, I know the ears work, but-“

“Get your filthy paws of me, ratboy!” She tossed her hair imperiously but Rizzo was undeterred.

“You are hot! I mean, heh, you got a fever! Wait… how hot are pigs supposed to be compared to rats anyway?”

Piggy pushed the little guy away from her vehemently and Rizzo flopped back down on the seat, stunned but unhurt. He shook his head to clear it.

“Easy now, princess, I’ll have you know that I am just trying to help. Are you feelin’ all right?”

She unobtrusively began rubbing her temples. “Moi am fine, Rizzo. Will you please just-“

“But why did you walk home? That’s a long walk, and no offense or nothin’ but you ain’t exactly Jane Fonda.”

“Rizzo-”

“I mean, you haven’t exactly been wracking up the frequent flyer miles at the local gym.”

“Rizzo! He ducked reflexively, but she didn’t swing and he sat up a little sheepishly.

“Sorry.”

Piggy turned her head, giving him a startlingly solemn look. “I can look after myself. I don’t need babysitting just because I bumped my head.”

“Well, it wasn’t just a ‘bump’-“

Abruptly Piggy’s arm shot out, and Rizzo’s life flashed before his eyes.

I shoulda eaten more of that peach cobbler.

However, Piggy did not strike him. Instead, she bundled him up into her arms for a tight hug that left him gasping. It was fair to say he would not have been more surprised if Gonzo had announced he was giving up chickens altogether.

“Uh-“ he began, when she did not seem inclined to let him go. “Piggy? Are you oka-”

“Yes! Now stop asking.” He couldn’t see her face, couldn’t in fact see much of anything but the dingy white of her shirt, but her voice was liquid with unshed tears. He wriggled around and she relaxed her grip enough to let him peek at her weary, yet composed face. Rizzo gave her a little pat on the cheek and to her credit, Piggy did not recoil.

“I’m glad you’re okay. I can see you’re okay.” He could see nothing of the sort, but Rizzo had no idea what else to say. Miss Piggy seemed mollified at any rate. She edged him off her lap and sighed.

“Sorry, Rizzo dear. I think moi will head to my room now for a little while before we get swamped by the morning rampage.” There were ominous rumblings floating down from upstairs. “Moi has a booming headache.”

“Did somebody say ‘booming’?!” Out of nowhere, Crazy Harry popped up and displayed the common Muppet problem of distinguishing the figurative from the literal.

In other words… boom!

Piggy clamped her hands over her ears and rounded savagely on the wildly laughing… Harry. “You are playing with fire, mister!”

“Did somebody say-“

“Oh, I’m going to bed!”

“-fire?”

Boom!

Amidst the smoke, Piggy made her way up the stairs to her room and disappeared. Seconds later a veritable mass of Muppets stampeded down the stairs looking for breakfast in some form; Crazy Harry being a highly effective, not to mention alarming, alarm clock.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Gonzo, Fozzie and Rowlf returned less than ten minutes later where Rizzo hastily reassured them that Piggy had returned home by her own means. They resisted temptation and did not tap on her door or peek inside to check on her, deciding it was better to let her sleep at least for a little while until breakfast was over at least.

Rowlf poked at the eggish something on his plate with almost scientific curiosity. Gonzo was evidently preoccupied, shooting uneasy, and unsubtle in the general direction of Piggy’s room. “Hey, cheer up, pal,” he tried to encourage, “It’s good that she’s getting some rest… and we’re sparing her breakfast.”

“Probably saved her life,” Fozzie sighed as his own breakfast tried to bite him. A few titters broke out and the bear, ever tuned to the sounds of mirth, dropped his fork in surprise. “What? What’s so funny?”

“You are,” the dog chuckled warmly, patting him on the back as Fozzie’s food meandered over and started consuming the eggish thing.

“I am?” His face lit up. “I mean, of course I am! I said, I said…. Oh no! I forgot what I said that was funny. Oh please, please, Rowlf, tell me what it was!” He snagged the dog’s lop-like ears frantically. “Maybe I can do it again! Maybe I can use it in my act!”

Rowlf gently freed his ears. “Sorry, Foz, I don’t think it’ll work again.”

Defeated, but never for long, the erstwhile bear hung his head for a moment before taking up his fork again. “Where is-? Oh.” Breakfast had rejected the egg thing in favor of the plate it was sitting on. They watched in bemusement as it enveloped the china with noisy crunches.

“Perhaps it could use some all-purpose tenderizer,” mused Bunsen thoughtfully as he passed by.

Fozzie considered the matter for the moment before laying down the silverware. “Better you than me, buddy,” he told Rowlf solemnly. “I’m going to make some toast.”

He headed for the kitchen without acknowledging Rowlf’s baffling chuckles.

Gonzo said nothing.
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I really enjoyed this chapter. Especially the eggs devouring the plate. Wonderful touch and just what one would expect from the Chef's food!

The food eating it's own plate. That got me more then the touching part of the stories!!!