Muppet FanFic: The Malady Lingers On

[Kristine73]

Hi again! I have decided to post another story. It is set in the second season of the Muppet Show. The idea and title comes from the episode where Kermit was sick and Fozzie accidentally put Veterinarian's Hospital and At the Dance on at the same time. Hope you enjoy it.

Summary: Life imitates art for Floyd and Kermit is out to convince everyone that Rudolph Nureyev is not crazy for wanting to come on the Muppet Show.

The Malady Lingers On​

​

Chapter 1.



“Thank you!” Called Kermit the Frog as the taxi drove off. He picked up his bags and climbed the steps to the entry of the Muppet Theatre. His business trip to Paris had come off far better than he could have dreamed. ‘I am so excited!’ He thought happily. ‘Imagine. Rudolf Nureyev actually agreeing to come among us!!’ All he had to do now was keep it secret for another few days. ‘Not going to be easy!’ Feeding off his happiness and excitement he leapt up the steps and was met at the door by Scooter.

“Welcome home boss!” he called out. “Did you have a good flight?”

“Not too bad.” Said Kermit “Managed to get a little sleep and I am ready to get back down to work. So, give me a full report. What disasters did Fozzie manage to create while I was away?” he asked with a smile.

Scooter laughed. “Not too many boss. And nothing that couldn’t be fixed by me. The main problem as always was Miss Piggy. She would not shut up about how selfish, thoughtless and unkind it was of you not to take her to Paris.”

Kermit just shook his head, not a bit surprised by Scooter’s report. “It wasn’t a pleasure trip” He said. “I was working to secure a guest star. Mind you, I have a feeling that when she finds out who it is and what they want to do she will quickly change her tune.”

“So who is coming boss?”

Kermit smiled again. “That’s a secret Scooter. I’m going to announce it after the George Burns’ show is over. It’s only 2 days away. I think everyone can wait, don’t you?” he asked.

“I think so.” replied Scooter. “Listen I’d better go down to the canteen and let Robin know you’re back.”

“No problem.” Kermit reached for the mail which was waiting for him on his desk when he heard a voice call out ‘Kermit!” and before he knew it he was swept into a Fozzie-Bear hug.

“Oh Kermit! It is so good to see you!” exclaimed Fozzie. “I missed you so much!”

“Uh, yeah.” answered Kermit. ‘Fozzie always reacts as if you have been gone for months, not days!’ He reflected. Kermit gently disentangled himself and said “It’s good to see you too Fozzie. And thank you for looking after everything. Now, is there anything at all I need to know about? Did anything go wrong?” he asked.

“Oh nothing much.” answered Fozzie. “A couple of footlight bulbs blew, which Scooter fixed. And the rotten floorboards gave way during a dance rehearsal, but no one was hurt and Scooter called in a carpenter the next day.” Kermit listened to Fozzie’s run down with increasing alarm. “Oh, and the Swedish Chef burnt himself on the grill in the canteen. Crazy Harry heard him say he was making Bomb Alaska for you, so he decided to detonate an explosion. Still he’s fine. Scooter put his hands under cold water right away and he will be cooking again tomorrow!” finished Fozzie brightly.

“Good.” murmured Kermit as he shook his head in despair. ‘Why do I leave that bear in charge?’ he wondered. His musings were interrupted by the enthusiastic cries of his nephew.

“Uncle Kermit! Uncle Kermit! You’re back!” shouted Robin excitedly as he launched himself into Kermit’s arms.

“I certainly am! I missed you.” said Kermit hugging his nephew to him and dropping a kiss on his head. “Were you a good boy while I was gone? Did you do everything Fozzie asked you to?” he asked.

“Oh yes Uncle Kermit!” replied Robin.

“He was as good as gold!” echoed Fozzie proudly.

“So Uncle Kermit, did you send me a postcard?” asked Robin hopefully.

“Well…..no. Seeing I was only there 3 days I thought I would beat the postcard home.” Kermit smiled down at Robin’s disappointed face. “So,” his uncle continued while unzipping one of his suitcases “I was hoping these would make up for it!” and he pulled out a huge gift wrapped box of chocolates.

“Oh wow! Uncle Kermit you’re the best!” Robin shouted and hopped up and down happily. “Can I open them now? Please?”

“Of course you can.” Said Kermit as he helped peel back the wrapping paper. “I hope you like them. You know, I watched the chocolatier make these chocolates before I bought them.”

“The what?” mumbled Robin through a mouthful of chocolate.

Kermit smiled. “That’s French for chocolate maker Robin.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, don’t you have a frog scout meeting this afternoon?” Robin nodded. “Don’t you think you better get ready to go?”

“Sure thing Uncle Kermit.” Replied Robin. “Here have one of my chocolates Uncle Kermit. You too Fozzie.” offering the box to the two of them. Kermit and Fozzie both grinned and made their selection. Turning around to head back down to the canteen Robin spotted Zoot sitting on the stairs leading to the dressing rooms. “Zoot! Would you like one of the chocolates Uncle Kermit brought home for me?” he asked.

Zoot looked up from his saxophone cleaning and smiled over at Robin. “Sure I would. That’s real nice of you Robin.” He said as he chose a chocolate. Robin ran back to the canteen calling out to Scooter as he passed him and offering him one of his prized chocolates.

Kermit walked up to where Zoot was sitting. “Hello Zoot. Everything alright?” he asked.

“Yeah Kermit. Everything’s groovy.” He replied. “I’m just waiting for Floyd to get back from taking Animal for his walk.” ‘They’ve been gone longer than they normally are.’ thought Zoot. ‘Hope Animal hasn’t done anything to him.’

“Long as everything’s alright, that’s good.” Said Kermit. Spotting Scooter coming towards him Kermit called to him. “Scooter?”

“Yeah boss?”

“I’m about to take Robin to his frog scout meeting. Could you do something for me while I’m gone?”

“Sure chief. What is it?”

“Well,” said Kermit “When I get back I want to get straight to work on the contract for our guest. Because it is so important I want to write it up with a brand new crayon, so would you please pop out and buy a box? I don’t think I have any that aren’t used in my desk.”

“No problem chief. I’ll go down to the shops right now. You can reimburse me in this week’s pay!” said Scooter as he headed out the theatre exit.

‘Oh dear. I do worry about the Uncle’s influence on that boy at times’. thought Kermit. ‘Still I am far too happy today to allow thoughts of J.P. Grosse to ruin it!’ Kermit saw Robin heading towards him in his frog scout uniform. “Ready to go?”

“Sure Uncle Kermit!”

“Okay, let’s go!” Turning to Fozzie Kermit said “I shouldn’t be more than half an hour. And then when I get back we will start the run through for George Burns’ appearance.”

“Okay Kermit.” Said Fozzie. “Bye Robin! Have fun at frog scouts!”

“I will Fozzie! Bye!”

Fozzie chuckled to himself. I sure did enjoy myself when I was a bear cub scout. Then thinking about Kermit’s business trip ‘I wonder who it is that Kermit booked to come to the show? It must be someone important to warrant a contract written in new crayon.'

 

[Kristine73]

Chapter 2

“Come on Animal!” shouted Floyd, yanking on his chain. “We gotta get to the theatre for rehearsal!”

“Rehearsal! Rehearsal!” yelled the drummer and laughed as he and Floyd entered the Muppet Theatre and were met at the door by Zoot.

“Hey man. Where’ve you both been? I was beginning to think I needed to arrange a search party.”

“Well….. give us second to catch my breath,” puffed Floyd. “OK” he continued “We were across the road from the theatre when this Porsche convertible came around the corner and it was being driven by this absolutely gorgeous red headed woman……”

“WOMAN! WOMAN!” bellowed Animal.

“And he took off?” asked Zoot.

“Oh yeah. We ran for about seven blocks before the car disappeared and he gave up the chase!” sighed Floyd.

“Car disappear.” Animal stated sadly.

“That it did man. So we had to run all the way back here again to make it in time to – ow!” exclaimed Floyd and clutched at his side.

“Floyd? You okay?” asked Zoot worriedly.

“Yeah, yeah, fine. Just a stitch from all that running. Serves me right for not keeping a closer eye on the traffic.” Floyd reassured Zoot.

“No problem. Now you’re back we better get to rehearsal. I saw Nigel come down the stairs minute ago and he had a scowl on his dial. Better not keep His Majesty waiting or he’ll be running to Kermit again complaining.”

“I hear you talking. Come on Animal, time to play the drums.” Animal, who had calmed down considerably immediately brightened up again. “Play drums! Play drums!” and pulling against his chain made a break for the orchestra pit. Floyd and Zoot just laughed. “Whoa there Animal! We’re going in now.” Floyd said.

“Very glad to hear it!” snapped Nigel as he saw the three musicians enter the pit. “Now, if it is not TOO much trouble can you all take your positions? Hmmm?”

Floyd and Zoot only frowned. Animal glowered and growled at the Muppet Show’s musical conductor as climbed up behind his drum kit. “Easy Animal, easy man.” Reassured Floyd. ‘Don’t need him going off this early in the piece.’ He thought. Zoot walked over to his position near the piano where Rowlf was sitting and whispered to him “What’s got up our illustrious leader’s nose?”

Rowlf grunted. “Absolutely no idea Zoot. Got a feeling it is going to be a long rehearsal.” Rowlf said with a grimace.

“Hey Dolores!” Floyd greeted the orchestra’s trumpet player as he took his place next to her.

“Hey Floyd!” she answered. “Doesn’t Nigel look sour today?”

“That he do Doll!” said Floyd as he bent over to plug his bass into its amplifier. “Ooh!” he gasped, clutching at his side again. Dolores looked on concerned.

“Floyd? Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Dolores asked.

“Nothing. Just a bit of a stitch I got when I was running with Animal. Forget it.” Floyd glanced around, making sure neither Zoot or Animal witnessed what had just happened. ‘Doesn’t look like it.’ Floyd sat down and waited for Nigel to finish shuffling sheets of music.

“Alright. Let’s get started.” Nigel stated. “You all have your arrangements for tomorrow’s show. We’ll begin with the theme.” Nigel tapped his baton on the lectern and the orchestra began the opening bars of the song.

“Oh please Kermie!” Pleaded Miss Piggy. “Why won’t you tell me who you have booked? Who is so important that you have to leave Moi behind when you travel to the City of Love?”

Kermit frowned. Miss Piggy had been following him around all afternoon, pretty much from the second he arrive back at the theatre after taking Robin to frog scouts, trying to get him to divulge the name of the guest who would be joining them in a month’s time. For what seemed to be the hundredth time he answered her.

“I am terribly sorry Piggy but I cannot tell you at this moment in time! The contract is still up for approval from the performer and I don’t want to tell anyone while there is still the danger of it not coming off!”

“Well if Moi cannot be trusted!” Miss Piggy huffed.

Kermit sighed. “You can be trusted Piggy” he said soothingly, ‘You can’t’ he thought savagely “but unfortunately there are some people here who can’t and I do not want them running off to the gutter press. Besides,” Kermit continued, deciding to play to Piggy’s vanity “the potential guest in question is very keen to meet you.”

Miss Piggy’s demeanor changed instantaneously “Meet Moi?” she questioned sweetly, immediately all coquette.

“That’s right.” Replied Kermit, “And not only meet you, they are hoping to perform with you. Now what do you say?”

“OOOH!” Miss Piggy squealed, causing Kermit to cringe inwardly. “Oh since you put it that way my wonderfulness, of course Moi will not pester you anymore. After all, what’s another day or two?” She planted a huge kiss on Kermit’s cheek and then trotted away happily. Kermit shook his head and wiped his cheek with another sigh. Scooter, who had heard the whole exchange approached his boss.

“Hey boss, do you ever worry that you lay it on a little too thick?”

“Scooter,” replied Kermit “With that pig laying it on with a trowel and it would barely cover the surface!”

 

[Kristine73]

Okay. That's all for tonight. My dear old dad wants the computer. More soon!

 

[Kristine73]

Here's the next chapter.
A/N: I just wanted to point out quickly that there is absolutely no evidence anywhere that anyone other than Janice was intended to be in the Veterinarian Hospital sketch, it just worked in better with my story to have someone else in mind before her. Okay on with the show!

Chapter 3


In the musicians lounge Janice was lying on the sofa, waiting to be called to the Veterinarian’s Hospital run through. The Electric Mayhem were not making an appearance on the next show, so Doctor Teeth chose to remain at the boarding house. Janice wasn’t required for orchestra rehearsal as none of the pieces they were playing had a guitar featured in the arrangements. So until Rowlf was ready she chose to simply relax. ‘With luck it won’t be too much longer. I can hear them playing the closing tune.’

On hearing Zoot’s last note on his saxophone Janice got up, stretched and changed into her surgical scrubs costume. Janice had never minded being asked to do other sketches on the show along with her Electric Mayhem duties. “Like, as long as they don’t clash, I don’t mind.” She had once told Kermit. To which end she found herself playing the second nurse in Vet’s Hospital when Mildred Huxtetter, who was originally going to play the role, through a hissy fit when she learnt she was going to play second fiddle to Miss Piggy and a frantic Kermit asked her to read for the part at the last minute. Still, her guitar was her greatest love and she was looking forward to the Electric Mayhem’s appearance on the show after next.

Rowlf knocked on the door and called out “Janice? You ready?”

“Fer sure! I’ve been ready for like ages.”

“That’s great. As soon as we finish our run through I need to get started on the arrangements for George Burns two songs, so the sooner we get started the better. Not to mention, the sooner we get started, the sooner we get rid of the pig!”

“And that Mama is as good a reason as any I know to get a wiggle on!” said Floyd who just came through the door of the lounge followed by Animal and Zoot. “The less time spent with Miss Ham Hock, the better I always say!” Everyone in the room laughed.

“Rully! I had better like go.” Said Janice, who kissed Floyd on the cheek as she went past and headed downstairs with Rowlf. Floyd looked around the room and saw Zoot was already dozing in an armchair and Animal was sitting on the floor looking through one of his favourite books about Renoir, which was just about destroyed beyond recognition. Floyd sat down on the sofa to relax when the sharp pain in his side hit him again. He winced and bent over in two. Animal looked up at him.

“Floyd hurt?” he asked concernedly.

Floyd shook his head. “No Animal. Just got a cramp from holding my bass for too long. Nothing to worry about.” Floyd hoped he believed him; it was very difficult to lie to Animal. He was far more perceptive and observant than people gave him credit for. Still, at least for the moment he seemed to buy it.

“Okay.” Said Animal and went back to his book. Floyd continued to hold his side. ‘This stitch is really hanging in there!’ He thought. Floyd glanced at the clock on the wall. 7.30pm it read. ‘Well Janice should be finished her rehearsal in about an hour and then Doctor Teeth is going to swing by for us at 9pm’ Floyd thought ‘I’ll just get into bed when we get back home and sleep it off. It’s just a muscle cramp. It’ll clear up by morning.’

 

[Kristine73]

Chapter 4


“Okay….. I think that just about covers everything Rudolph wanted to do.” Kermit said to himself. He was absolutely determined to make sure that he had every “i” dotted and every “t” crossed in this contract, literally as well as figuratively.

“Now let me just double check” he said. "Full creative and choreographic control of his numbers, yes. A duet with Miss Piggy, unfortunately yes.” Kermit shook his head. He was yet to figure out what was the attraction of working with that pig. And yet so many guests wanted to perform with Miss Piggy. “And finally a tribute to Fred Astaire – yes! That’s good. Finally done. I want Rudolph to remember his time here for all the right reasons.”

“Kermit?” called Gonzo.

“Yes Gonzo?”

“Fozzie just wanted to let you know he’s gone to get the Studebaker. Are you almost ready to go?”

“Yes I’ve finished what I need to do tonight.” Kermit said while he stuffed the contract into his briefcase.

“Whatcha working on Kermit?” Gonzo asked, trying to sneak a peak over Kermit’s shoulder.

“Nothing that need concern you!” Kermit replied firmly. “Good grief it’s actually 9.45pm. Where has the time gone? I just need to check the theatre and then I’ll be there.”

“No problem. I’ll tell Fozzie.” Said Gonzo who headed out the door with Camilla. Rowlf then came backstage carrying his arrangements for tomorrow’s show.

“Coming Kermit?” he called.

“I just want to pop down to the canteen for a cup of coffee Rowlf and then I’ll be ready.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in the car.” Said Rowlf as he exited.

Kermit watched him go and when Gonzo, Camilla and Rowlf were safely out of site he shut the door behind them quickly. ‘Right I think I’m alone now. Scooter has left already with the Electric Mayhem. Miss Piggy is uptown at that beauty parlour she goes to before every show. Nigel left nearly two hours ago and the others are waiting in the car. Okay time to get this contract out!’ Kermit raced downstairs to the canteen and saw a young man dressed in a courier uniform waiting all alone at the tables.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting so long but I’m afraid secrecy is everything with this contract.” Kermit apologised. “Now this contract will definitely be in Paris in the morning?”

The young man nodded. “Guaranteed man. Do you have it addressed correctly?”

Kermit checked again “Secretary to the Artistic Director of the Paris Opera Ballet.” He read out loud. Kermit then double checked the address “Yes it’s correct.”

“That’s fine.” Said the courier. “You’d be surprised the number of people who get the address wrong and then blame us. Hmm…..Paris Opera Ballet? That’s upmarket for this dive isn’t it?” he asked.

Kermit frowned at the youngster. “Will you please just deliver this and keep your opinions to yourself?’ he snapped. “ I’ll be checking in with your boss first thing in the morning to make sure it arrived in one piece. Here is your tip.” Said Kermit handing over several dollar bills.

“I’m gone!” and with that the young man ran out the back door of the canteen, mounted his motorbike and rode off.

Kermit sighed and looked around his surroundings. He shook his head sadly. ‘That kid’s right. This place is a dive.’ he thought unhappily to himself ‘What is the ballet world going to say when they learn Nureyev is coming here of all places!’ Kermit picked his briefcase up again and headed to the exit. He locked the door and looked up as he heard Fozzie blow the Studebaker horn.

“Come on Kermit! Time to go!” called Fozzie happily. Kermit made his way around to the front passenger door and climbed in. ‘I’ll worry about that tomorrow after the announcement is made. That’s time enough.’

“Thanks Fozzie.” He said. “Must say I’m looking forward to getting to bed.”

“I’ll bet you are.” Said Fozzie kindly. “You’ve had such a long day.” Fozzie started the car and pulled away from the kerb.

“Tell me Kermit,” asked Rowlf. “When are you going to let us know who the star you went to Paris to get is?”

“With a bit of luck tomorrow night Rowlf. It all depends on how soon we can arrange contract exchange. Don’t want to jinx myself by announcing it before then.”

“Understood.”

Kermit sat back and said no more. He was just too tired from jetlag and working non stop since he arrived home. Luckily his companions asked no more questions. Before he knew it they had arrived back at the boarding house. They all headed inside and Fozzie asked Kermit “Do you want some cocoa?”

“No thanks Fozzie. I just want to go to bed. Goodnight.” and proceeded to climb the stairs to his bedroom.

“Goodnight Kermit!” Fozzie, Gonzo and Rowlf called behind him.

On arriving in his rooms he saw Robin already in bed asleep. Kermit smiled down fondly and sat down on his own bed. ‘All I want is a good night’s sleep and be all fresh and ready for work tomorrow.’ With that he climbed into bed and was asleep in no time.

 

[Twisted Tails]

Kristine, this is a great fanfic. You writing keeps getting better and better. I want to keep writing and do the best you can do.

More chapters please!

 

[Kristine73]

Kristine, this is a great fanfic. You writing keeps getting better and better. I want to keep writing and do the best you can do.

More chapters please!

Thank you for you lovely comments. There is more coming -I promise.

 

[Kristine73]

Okay time for an update!

Chapter 5
Janice stirred and rolled over in bed. It was no good she was awake. ‘Rully’ she thought to herself. ‘There’s nothing worse than waking in the middle of the night when you were so tired you only wanted to sleep’. Reaching to her bedside table she picked up the clock which sat there to try to make out what time it was. There was a small amount of light creeping into the room and she could see the face of the clock read 3.30am. Janice sighed rolled over on her other side and reached out to discover the other half of the bed she and Floyd shared was empty.

Janice pushed herself up onto her elbow and looked around. “Floyd?” she called quietly. A low moan from the direction of the bathroom answered her. On hearing this she got up and made her way to the room. Janice had been worrying about Floyd all night since they finished rehearsal. He had turned down the offer of any supper, was complaining of feeling sick on his stomach and had gone straight to bed. Once Janice reached the bathroom worry immediately changed to all out alarm.

“Floyd!” she shrieked. Floyd was lying on the bathroom floor with his legs pulled up towards his chest clutching at his right side. “Honey ! Like what’s wrong?” she asked in a panicked voice as she got down on the floor.

“I came in to hurl, and oh Mama does it hurt!” he moaned. Janice laid her hand across Floyd’s forehead and noticed he felt feverish. Her mind started working overtime. ‘Okay, think Janice! First thing to do is – what?’ she asked herself. Luckily at this moment Doctor Teeth, who had been woken by Janice’s voice and had also been worrying about Floyd, strode into the bathroom and quickly assessed the situation for himself.

“Janice, what’s the matter? How long’s he been on the floor” Doctor Teeth demanded.

“I don’t know! All I know is that I woke up, Floyd wasn’t in bed and I found him here!”

“Okay. Let’s all be cool.” Doctor Teeth said. Crouching down besides Floyd he gave him a small shake. “Floyd. Focus for me man. When did this pain in your gut start?” he asked.

Floyd moaned again. “This afternoon, after Animal’s walk. Thought it was just a stitch. Oh Teeth my guts are killing me!”

Doctor Teeth shook his head. “This ain’t no stitch man!” He leaned over to Janice and whispered. “Stay here with him. I’ll go wake the troops. I know I’m no medical doctor but I’ll bet it’s his appendix giving him this grief. We’ll have to get him to hospital.” Janice simply nodded, too scared to say anything. Floyd heard this exchange. “No. Not hospital man.” He groaned.

“Yes hospital man!” Doctor Teeth retorted. “Floyd you’re sick! We can’t ignore this!” Doctor Teeth got back up. “Stay with him Janice. I’ll go get everything we need ready.” Janice nodded again. As Doctor Teeth left she lifted Floyd’s head into her lap. “I’ll stay with you honey.” She whispered. “I won’t leave you.”

Doctor Teeth hurried on a shirt and trousers. He headed out to the living area where Zoot was asleep on the sofa he always insisted on sleeping on. Doctor Teeth pulled the quilt off him, grabbed his shoulder and started shaking him. “Zoot! Wake up!” he called as loud as he dared.

Zoot stirred and rubbed at his eyes. “Wha…? What…?” he mumbled.

“Get up and get dressed.” ordered Doctor Teeth. “We got to take Floyd to hospital!”

Zoot looked at him for a second and then nodded his comprehension. “Right.” He started taking off his pajama jacket. “What’s wrong with Floyd?”

“At a guess I say appendicitis.” Doctor Teeth replied, pulling on a pair of shoes. “Janice found him collapsed on the floor a few minutes ago. He was complaining how his guts was killing him. Let’s hope they don’t.”

Zoot nodded worriedly. “What do you want me to do?”

“Go in and stay with Floyd while Janice gets ready. I’m gonna have to go wake Kermit cos we need the insurance. And whatever you do, DO NOT wake Animal! He’s gonna freak when he finds out what’s happening!” And with that Doctor Teeth raced out of the room and down the hall. Zoot had finished dressing and headed into the bathroom. He found Floyd still lying on his side, moaning quietly with his head on Janice’s lap. She was gently stroking his head and doing her best not to cry all over him, terrified as she was.

“Janice?” Zoot whispered as he got down on the floor to join them. Janice looked up but didn’t speak.

“Janice, Doctor Teeth said you better go get dressed. I’ll stay with Floyd and take care of him.” Zoot said kindly. Janice looked Zoot to Floyd and nodded. She bent her head down to Floyd’s ear so he could hear her.

“Honey I have to leave for a minute. I’ll be right back fer sure. Okay?” she whispered.

“Okay.” Murmured Floyd.

Janice placed Floyd’s head gently on the bathroom floor and rushed out. Zoot took Janice’s place near his head and picked up one of Floyd’s hands in his to hold.

“Zoot?” he whispered.

“Yeah man?”

“I’m scared man. Real scared!”

Zoot squeezed Floyd’s hand in his. “I know man. But don’t worry. You’ll be just fine, you’ll see.”
Floyd gave a small nod. Zoot could feel how warm Floyd was through his hand. ‘This is real bad!’ he couldn’t help thinking. Zoot looked over his shoulder hoping Doctor Teeth would not be much longer.

 

[Kristine73]

Chapter 6


Kermit awoke to the sound of knocking on his door. ‘Who on earth is that? What time is it?’ The knocking became more persistent and as Kermit climbed out of bed he heard someone call “Kermit? It’s Teeth. We’ve got trouble!”

Kermit opened his door. “Doctor Teeth? What’s going on? Did you say there’s trouble?”

“Yeah big trouble!” answered Doctor Teeth. “Sorry to wake you Kermit but we’ve just found Floyd collapsed on the bathroom floor. He’s in a mass of pain and we’re gonna get him straight to hospital. We’re gonna need the insurance!”

Kermit took a moment to gather himself. Floyd had not mentioned feeling unwell during rehearsal so this was something of a shock. “Okay, it’s downstairs in the filing cabinet. I’ll get it for you.” said Kermit. “But Doctor Teeth,” he asked as they went downstairs “If Floyd’s that sick don’t you think it wiser to call an ambulance?”

Doctor Teeth shook his head. “No thanks Kermit” he replied. “An ambulance would never let Animal in and we won’t be able to leave him behind.”

By this time a couple of other doors had opened. Fozzie and Scooter both came out to see what was going on and caught the tail end of Kermit and Doctor Teeth’s conversation.

“Ambulance? Who needs an ambulance?” Fozzie asked Scooter in an anxious tone.

“Don’t know Fozzie,” Scooter answered “But if Doctor Teeth is up it must be one of the guys in the band.”

“Think we should go have a look?”

“What are you guys going to have a look at at this hour?” asked Rowlf, who had just emerged from his room. Gonzo then came out of his room. “What’s all the excitement?” he asked.

Before anyone could answer a huge roar came from the direction of the Electric Mayhem’s room. “Oh dang! Animal’s awake!” yelled Doctor Teeth and raced towards the room with Kermit, Fozzie, Scooter, Gonzo and Rowlf in hot pursuit.
On entering the room the group discovered the group discovered Animal flailing around madly with Zoot holding onto his chain for dear life. Floyd was still lying on the ground with Janice, who had changed into the sweater and track suit pants she wore around the house, cradling him again.

“FLOYD SICK! FLOYD SICK!” Animal bellowed.

“Animal! Heel!” Floyd whispered frantically.

“You heard him Animal! Heel!” repeated Zoot. “If you don’t calm down we won’t be able to take you to the hospital with us!” With this threat Animal gradually settled down but continued panting wild eyed, not taking them off Floyd for a second.

“Floyd sick!” he kept repeating.

Zoot looked around at Doctor Teeth. “I’m sorry Teeth. I didn’t wake him.”

“No he didn’t” said Janice sadly. “He like woke up, saw me dressed and followed me in. When he saw Floyd he rully lost it.”

Doctor Teeth just shook his head. “So be it. Right we gotta get Floyd to the bus and I’m gonna need some help.” He stated. “Scooter, you Gonzo and Rowlf take Animal’s chain and hang on tight!”

“Okay” said Scooter. Rowlf grabbed the end, and then Scooter and Gonzo then took the chain from Zoot.

“That’s good. Now Zoot you and I are gonna get Floyd downstairs. We’ll need to pick him up.” said Doctor Teeth.

Zoot just nodded, went around to one side of Floyd and bent down. Doctor Teeth crouched down next to Janice again and asked “Janice, could you go get a blanket to put in the bus for us?” Janice nodded “Fer sure.” She whispered. Janice stood up and went out, pausing to look back at Floyd for a moment before going to do her errand. Doctor Teeth watched her leave and then turned to Zoot. “Ready man?”

“Sure am.”

“Okay. Floyd we’re gonna help you to your feet. You just relax and let us do the work, okay man?”

Floyd just nodded. With that Doctor Teeth and Zoot slipped their arms under Floyd’s shoulders and grasped his forearms. “Right, up on three” said Doctor Teeth. “One, two, three, up!”

“Ohhh!” Floyd groaned loudly. Scooter, Gonzo and Rowlf were forced to put all their weight on Animal’s chain as he began jumping around wildly and shouting again in reaction to Floyd’s pain. Now that Floyd was on his feet Doctor Teeth and Zoot began leading Floyd out the door and down the stairs “You just move your feet man. Leave the steering to us!” said Doctor Teeth. Turing to Scooter Doctor Teeth ordered him, Gonzo and Rowlf to keep Animal upstairs in the bedroom “I’ll holler when we’re ready for him.”

“Sure Doctor Teeth! ” replied Scooter, clutching onto Animal’s chain desperately trying to keep him still.

“We’ll get ya in a minute Animal! Be cool man!” Doctor Teeth told the drummer.

“COOL! COOL!” Animal shouted.

Together Doctor Teeth and Zoot gently guided Floyd, who was doubled over in pain, down the stairs to meet Janice who was waiting with Fozzie and Kermit. “I’ve got all the insurance details right here!” said Kermit to Doctor Teeth. “Great man.” He replied. Looking over at Janice Doctor Teeth “Janice could you hang onto that for us?”

“Fer sure.” She answered, taking the papers from Kermit and stuffing them into her handbag.

“Please, is there anything I can do to help?” Fozzie pleaded as Floyd, Doctor Teeth and Zoot passed him.

“Actually yeah there is,” answered Doctor Teeth. “You’ll find the keys to the bus over there,” he pointed to a coffee table “Could you go start the bus for us please Foz? Less time we dilly dally…”

“Yes sir! Right away!” Fozzie exclaimed excitedly while snatching up the keys and running out of the house. Fozzie unlocked the Electric Mayhem’s bus, got in the driver’s seat to start the engine and then backed it down the drive. By the time he had completed these tasks Doctor Teeth and Zoot had reached the bus. Fozzie opened the door for them and reached down to help them get Floyd on board. Janice climbed in next followed by Kermit. Once Floyd was settled in a seat and Janice took her place next to him, Doctor Teeth jumped down from the bus and rang back to the front door.

“Okay guys! Bring Animal out!” he shouted.

The second Scooter, Gonzo and Rowlf released their grip Animal tore downstairs shouting unintelligibly. Scooter was the only one left holding onto the chain and was dragged along behind him. Doctor Teeth waited at the door of the bus and caught hold of Animal as he charged towards him.

“Steady down Animal! We’re getting on the bus now!” Doctor Teeth told him. Animal jumped up the stairs and Zoot grabbed hold of his chain and secured it behind his drum kit.

“Animal! Back! Sit!” ordered Doctor Teeth.

“Back! Sit!” Animal repeated and sat down.

Doctor Teeth nodded. “Right, time to get out of here!” He changed places with Fozzie and opened the bus door to let him, Kermit and Scooter off. As soon as they were clear Doctor Teeth locked the door behind them and put the bus into drive.

“Hang on! I’m about to put the pedal to the metal!” he yelled and with that the Electric Mayhem’s bus tires squealed into life and the bus roared down the road. Kermit, Fozzie, Scooter, Gonzo and Rowlf watched them drive off. Fozzie turned to Kermit and asked “Do you think Floyd will be okay?”

“I think so Fozzie. They’re taking him to the right place.” Replied Kermit who turned to head back into the house.

“Are you going back to bed?” asked Gonzo.

“No I’m going back to the kitchen and make some coffee. I want to wait up and hear Floyd’s alright before I go back to sleep.” Kermit said. ”Besides,” he continued “I’m anticipating a number of phone calls in the very near future.”

“From the band?” asked Fozzie.

“No, from the half dozen or so houses I saw put their lights on while we were getting Floyd onto the bus. I have reason to believe we will be getting some angry calls from our neighbors shortly!” Right on queue the boarding house telephone rang. Kermit sighed and went to answer it. “Hello?”

“I’ll go get the coffee on Chief” whispered Scooter as he passed.

“Thank you!” mouthed Kermit. ‘I think I’m going to need it before this ordeal is through!’ “Yes, I am terribly sorry we woke you but you see……….”

 

[The Count]

Heh, knew it was a case of appendicitis that struck the mustache man. Enjoying the details of how everybody's got a part to play in dealing with some BTS real-Muppet life drama. Hope to read more when you've got it ready.