Muppets St. Patricks Day Jambouree

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

The Muppets were in the swamp, heading for a St. Patricks Day jambouree held by Kermits relatives.

"Aw, the swamp looks so green today", said Kermit.

"It's also way too muddy", remarekd a disgusted Miss Piggy, "I just messed up my best dress".

"Yeah, but the party will be worth it", said Kermit, "Just don't forget to wear green tomorrow".

"Help!", shouted Pepe, "There are alligators after me, okay!"

"Oh, the alligators around here are vegetarians", said Kermit.

"Promise, okay?", asked Pepe.

"Yes, I promise", said Kermit., "uh... okay..."

"Leaves! Leaves!", shouted Animal, who started to eat the leaves.

"Like, he's rully got a healthy appetite", said Janice.

"Yes, I just hope that he recognizes that those are poision ivy leaves", said Floyd.

"POISION IVY!!!", shouted an excited Animal.

"Sal, how could you let them talk me into performing at the swamp?", asked Johnny Fiama, "I wanted to perform at Carnegie Hall this St. Patricks Day!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Johnny", said Sal, "I guess I mistook the word 'swamp' for 'spain'".

An alligator then approached them.

"Hey, stay away from Johnny Fiama!", shouted Sal, who proceeded to punch the alligator. The alligator then opened it's mouth and put Sal inside it. Sal then started to beat up the alligator from inside. The Alligator then spit Sal out of his mouth.

"Eww, yuck!", said Sal, who was covered in alligator saliva.

"Okay, Beaker", said Bunsen, "Did you remember toi bring that bowling ball?"

"Mee mee!", said Beaker, holding up a bowling ball.

"Very good", said Bunsen, "Did you remember to bring the metal detector?"

"Mee mee", said Beaker.

"Great", said Bunsen, "And did you remember to bring that container of plutonioum?"

"Mee mee", said Beaker, shaking his head.

"Oh, that's alright", said Bunsen, "We can just get some at the store".

"This place just keeps getting cuter and cuter!", said Bean.

"It's like a work of art", said Scooter.

"You know, I brought a work of art", said Rowlf, holding a portrait of four dogs playing poker.

"That painting is soooo cute!", said Bean.

"Oh, then I'll throw it away", said Rowlf, who then tossed it over his shoulder. It hit Fozzie.

"Ouch!", said Fozzie.

"Oh, sorry, Fozzie", said Rowlf.

"Well, it's not as bad as me getting bit by snakes", said Fopzzie, who then lifted up a foot, revealing that snakes were biting at his feet.

"Well, I've brought plenty of cheese", said Rizzo.

"And I've brought plenty of bricks", said Gonzo.

"Uh, why did you bring all those bricks, Gonzo?", asked Rizzo.

"It's because he is brick headed!", said Fozzie, "Get it? Wocka wocka!"

"Actually", said Gonzo, "It's because these bricks saved my life".

"Hmmm", said Rizzo, "Makes sense..."

"Hey, my luggage just exploded!", said Clifford.

"Oh, you must have gotten my luggage by mistake", said Crazy Harry, "Here"!

Crazy Harry handed his luggage to Clifford.

"Oh, thank you", said Clifford, who took the luggage... and it then exploded.

"Hmm", thought Crazy Harry, "That must have bene my luggage after all".

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

The gang had made it to Paradise Swamp.

"Well, here we all are", said Kermit.

"Hi, Kermit!", said one of the frogs.

"Oh, hi, everybody", said Kermit.

"We are all excited about the festivities!", said Bunsen.

"Mee mee mee", said Beaker.

"Yeah, happy St. Patricks Day!", said Janice.

"It's not St. Patricks Day yet", said one of the frogs.

"Well, we are ready to perform some music!", said Dr. Teeth, who bought out his keyboard as Animal pulled out a drum set.

"Oh, good", said one of the frogs, "A free concert!"

"We plan on playing some music in the swamp, too", said another frog.

"Well, let's all get some seats", said Robin.

"And maybe also some ear plugs", said an old frog.

"Okay, we're all ready", said Floyd.

"Hit it!", said Zoot.

Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem started playing a rockin' version of The Rainbow Connection. After they were done, the crowd started cheering. Except for Kermit.

"The band just took life out of one of my favorite songs", said Kermit, who scrunched his face.

The frogs then ran up to each member of the Electric Mayhem, asking for autographs.

"May I have your autograph?", asked one frog.

"Fer sure!", said Janice.

A smaller group of frogs came up to Animal.

"We'd like your autograph", said one of the small frogs.

"AUTOGRAPH!", shouted Animal, who then bit into one of the frogs.

Most of the frogs asked Lips for his autograph, though.

"We really like the way you play the trumpet", said one of the frogs to Lips, "Can we have a trumpet just like yours?"

"Well, it looks like it's gonna be a fun party", said Bobo.

"Yes, it will", said one of the elder frogs, "Now follow me, I'll show all you non-frogs where to put your sleeping bags".

"Oh, boy", said Bunsne.

"Mee mee", said Beaker.

"I didn't know we were camping", said Seymour.

"Well, you know, Walt Disney World is just right outside of the swamp",s aid Miss Piggy, "I could check into a hotel".

"Works for me, okay!", said Pepe, who ran out of the swamp and to Walt Disney World.

"Deer shrump ter de clump kk rkt!", said The Swedish Chef.

"Well, let's all just get settled", said Kermit, "And we'll be happy once St. Patricks Day gets here".

"Oh, no!", said Fozzie.

"What's wrong?", asked Kermit.

"I forgot to bring my gren polka dotted scarf!", said Fozzie, "I'll get pinched for sure!"

"Uh, no you won't", said Kermit, "I'll take you to the store to get a green outfit".

"I'll come with you", said Gonzo, "I forgot to bring my cannon".

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo all decided to go to a downtown store for soem supplies.

"Okay, I will be getting some green clothing and a cannon", said Kermit, "Does anybody need anything else at the store?"

"I need some new guitar strings", said Janice.

"I need a jar of plutonium", said Bunsen.

"I need a new bucket to store my fish in", said Lew Zeland.

"I need a bullet proof vest", said Johnny Fiama.

"I need a safe", said Seymour.

"me, too!", said Beauregard.

"I need a tooth brush", said Sweetums, "I accidently swallowed mine".

"I need some gum", said Thog, "I accidently swallowed mine".

"Moi will come with vous", said Miss Piggy, "It would be great to know how to get to all the local stores and shopping malls".

"Yeah, take her with you", said Floyd, "It would get her away from us".

Miss Piggy then karate chopped Floyd.

Animal observed, saying "Floyd hit tree".

"Well, we're leaving then", said Kermit, and Fozzie, Gonzo, and Miss Piggy all followed him.

"Bye, Uncle Kermit!", said Robin.

"Yeah, bye bye!", said the other frogs.

"Well, what should we do now?", asked Sweetums.

"Hey, we could play some music", said one of the frogs.

"Hey, good idea!", said another one of the frogs.

"Wait a minute", interrupted Bunsen, who then handed an umbrella to Beaker, "Here, Beaker".

"Mee mee mee mee?", asked Beaker.

"Remember the other time we came here", said Bunsne, "When the frogs were playing music, a bucket fell on your head and got stuck. This umbrella should protect you, in case that bucket up on that house falls off again".

"Mee mee", said Beaker, holding one thumb up.

"Okay, let's hit it!", said one of the frogs, as they started to party. One frog blew in empty bottles. Another one played a wash tub base. Another frog made music by holding out his tongue and playing with it. Another frog, sitting on top of the house, used a bucket as a drum, and as expected, he hit it a bit too hard, making it fall off the roof.

Beaker was holding his umbrella, and the bucket hit the top of the umbrella. Unfortunately, it hit the top of the umbrella, and caused the whole umbrella to close on Beaker, making him stuck.

"Oh, don't worry, Beaker", said Bunsne, who tried to pull open the umbrella, with no luck. "Maybe I should pull off this bucket first", said Bunsen, who struggled to pull it off.

"Maybe more of us should help", said Lew Zeland.

"Good idea", said Bobo.

Bunsen, Bobo, Beauregard, Lew Zeland, and Scooter all went around Beaker and started pulling at the umbrella, with no luck.

Beaker said something, which the others couldn't understand.

"I'll get it off", said Sweetums, who pulled successfully open the umbrella, sending the bucket flying up into the sky.

Beaker was relieved, and was so happy that he put down his umbrella, spread his arms out, and said "Ta da!" But then the bucket fell and got stuck on his head.

"Well, it looks like you are getting another bad trip at the swamp", said Bunsen.

Beaker started to cry.

Meanwhile, at the store, Kermit was done with his shopping.

"Okay, I've got soem party supplies", said Kermit.

"And I've got a green polka dotted scarf", said Fozzie.

"And I've got a great cannon", said Gonzo, "Plus a few extra bricks".

"Okay, I'll see if Miss Piggy is ready", said Kermit.

"We'll meet you back at the swamp", said Fozzie.

Kermit went to Miss Piggy.

"Are you ready to go back to the swamp?", asked Kermit.

"Of course not", said Miss Piggy, "There is so much to buy here... Just go back to the swamp, I'll be there when I'm ready".

"You'll never be ready", remarked Kermit. Miss Piggy wasn't paying attention and didn't hear him, and Kermit left.

Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo all made it back to the swamp.

"Well, we're back", said Kermit.

"Welcome back", said the frogs.

"Where's Miss Fatback?", asked Floyd.

"Piggy decided to stay at the store", said Kermit.

"Surprise, surprise", said Rizzo.

Kermit saw Bunsen trying to pull the bucket off of Beaker's head.

"Oh, it got stuck again, huh?", asked Kermit.

Back at the store, Miss Piggy saw a door that was marked "No Customers Allowed".

"Hmm", thought Miss Piggy, "That must be where the best items are".

She snuck in, and quickly hid behind some boxes when she heard somebody walking her way. She peeked at a buisness man and a factory worker, and overheard their conversarion.

"Well, the plans are approved", said the buisness man, "Tomorrow will be a happy St. Patricks Day!"

"Oh, they must be having a sale here", thought Miss Piggy.

"And I've mapped out everything", said the worker, who showed the buisness man blueprints.

"Perfect!", said the buisness man, "Tomorrow, we will begin tearing down the local swamp located next to Walt Disney World, and we'll make a superstore!"

"Oh, boy!", said Miss Piggy.

Later that night, Miss Piggy came back to the swamp.

"Hey, I've got great news everybody!", shouted Miss Piggy.

"Well, what is it?", asked Clifford.

"There is going to be a new superstore right here!", said Miss Piggy.

"What do you mean?", asked one of the frogs.

"I overheard some people saying that tomorrow, this swamp will be torn down to make room for a..."

"Wait a minute", interrupted Kermit, "If this swamp gets torn down, many frogs wil be homeless."

"And the party will be a disaster", said Johnny Fiama.

"We've gotta stop them!", said Sal.

"Okay, we've all got to plan things out", said Kermit, "Because tomorrow, this swamp will stay a swamp!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

It was St. Patricks Day, and the Muppets were ready. Fozzie wore a scarf with green polka dots. Miss Piggy wore a green dress. Bean Bunny wore a green jacket. Rizzo wore a green shirt. Rowlf and Bobo wore green scarfs. Dr. Teeth, Floyd, Animal, Janice, Zoot, and Lips all wore green army uniforms. Bunsen wore a green tie, and painted some green stars on the bucket that was stuck on Beaker's head.

"Here you go, Beaker", said Bunsen, who was finishing up on the paint job, "Now nobody will pinch you".

"Well, I am excited about today", said Fozzie.

"Well, if we lose our swamp", said one of the frogs, "We may have to live in a polluted city".

The Swedish Chef, who was wearing a green bow tie, came with some green punch.

"Derr hurotre cumm derr punch!", shouted The Swedish Chef.

"Oh, good", said Bunsen, "I think that Beaker should have some punch first".

"Mememmmmmmm", said Beaker.

The Swedish Chef poured some punch in a cup, and Beaker attempted to drink it, but had trouble, as the top of his mouth was stuck inside the bucket.

"Oh, Beaker", said Bunsen, "We should give you a straw".

Bunsne put a straw into the cup, and Beaker put the straw near the side of his mouth and drank it. But the punch turned out to be show hot that Beaker started shaking, smoke started to come out of the bucket, and the bucket blasted off.

Beaker was screaming as the bucket flew off into the air.

"Hey, Beaker's not wearing green anymore!", said Rizzo.

Everybody then went up to Beaker and staretd pinching him, making Beaker scream. As soon as they were done, the bucket fell back onto Beaker's head.

"Hmmm", thought Bunsen, "Maybe I should put a green tie on you, just in case that bucket does eventually come off.

Johnny Fiama and Sal were wearing irish outfits.

"Sal, this outfit is so embarrassing", said Johnny, "I can't beleive you talked me into wearing this".

"Hey, you don't want to be pinched, do you?", asked Sal.

"You could protect me from people who want to pinch me", said Johnny.

"Yeah", said Sal, "But I'd be too busy pinching you".

Everybody had gotten togetehr in the center of the swamp, dressed in green.

"Okay, We've got to save the swamp", said Kermit.

"Yeah, I heard you the first sixty two times", said Floyd.

"Anyway, we will all split up and stop the people who want to turn this swamp into a shopping center", said Kermit.

"Oh, Moi will have no part in this", said Miss Piggy, "I'm going to Walt Disney World".

Miss Piggy left, and after she left, Pepe came back, flying from the air.

"Ouch!", screamed Pepe, "Next time I will wear my seatbelt, okay".

"Pepe's not wearing green!!!", shouted Animal.

"Well, let's pinch him!", said Clifford.

"Yikes!", screamed Pepe, who ran away from everybody who was chasing him. Kermit and the frogs stayed where they were.

"Well, maybe we should fight our battle on our own", said Kermit.

"Well, I know some good self-defense tipes", said one of the frogs, "I'll save our swamp".

"Well, we've gotta move it", said Robin.

"Yeah", said Kermit, who turned his head, and saw Beaker, running after Pepe, but since Beaker couldn't see with a bucket stuck on his head, he was going into the wrong direction, and ran into a tree.

"Beaker, you might want to be more careful", said Kermit.

Gonzo then showed up, wearing a green daredevil outfit.

"Well, how do I look?", asked Gonzo.

"With your eyes", said one of the frogs.

"Well, we've got to move it", said Kermit.

"Come on, Beaker!", said Robin.

Beaker then put his hands on the bucket and gave it a mighty pull. He pulled it off, but then the bucket slipped from his hands and fell back on his head.

"Come on, come on", said one of the frogs, who decided to help Beaker get to where they needed to be.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

The Muppets had snuck their way to the site where the bulldozers were, and the Muppets were spying on the people who were planning on destroying the swamp.

"Okay, everybody", said Kermit, "What should we do?"

"We should hijack that bulldozer", said one of the frogs.

"I'll blow it up", said Crazy Harry.

"EAT BULLDOZER!", yelled Animal.

"I can go get my cannon and my bricks, and start shooting at the enemies", said Gonzo.

"Okay, go", said Rizzo.

"Do we have any more bright ideas?", asked Rowlf.

"Dreerr swee he herp teoh sfr wudn tre plass!", said The Swedish Chef.
"Oh, I'm sorry that I asked", said Rowlf.

"Hey, I know", said Bunsen, "Why don't you offer them some punch?"

"Ooohh, gude ideerr!", said The Swedish Chef.

"I'll give them a big punch", said Sweetums, who then ran out from hiding and started attacking the enemies.

"Hey, what's happening?", said the buisness man in charge, after being beated by Sweetums.

"Let's stop him!", said the construction workers.

"Oh, no, you don't!", said Sweetums, who started to punch and kick them.

"We've got to save Sweetums", said Scooter.

"That's right", said Sal.

"Come on, everybody", said Kermit.

And everybody started to run, though Beaker ran into a tree.

Crazy Harry got out a small rocket and lit it. The rocket zoomed towards the enemies, but missed, and went through a vent in a nearby house. The rocket flew out from the chimney, spinned around in circles, went back down to the ground, made a turn before hitting the ground, and went up to the bottom of the bucket on Beaker's head, where it got stuck before exploding like crazy.

Beaker was screaming as hard as he could, and the bucket soon blasted off his head.

"Aaaahhhhh", screamed Beaker, with some relief, "Mee mee mee..."

Pepe then fell onto Beaker's head.

"Oh, now that ride did not even have a safety belt, okay!", said Pepe, who was still on Beaker's head when the bucket fell back down, not only getting stuck on Beaker's head, but also with Pepe stuck inside it.

"Help! Help! Get me out of here, okay!", yeled Pepe.

"I'll attack the enemies with my boomerang fish!", said Lew Zeland, who started throwing his fish at the enemies.

"Augh!", said one of the enemies, "I'm allergic to fish!"

Sal was punching that enemey.

"Take this! And that! And this! And that!", said Sal, punching that enemey, who then sneezed really hard, blowing Sal away.

"Aaahhhh", yelled Sal, who hit the bulldozer, knocking it down.

"We've got a lot more bulldozers that that", said the man in charge.

Animal then bit the man, whow as screaming in pain.

"Hey, Animal", said Floyd, "Why don't you stop fighting the enemies, and play with us for now?"

Animal joined Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, who were being joined by Rowlf on piano and Clifford on bass, to play fight music.

"This is a rully groovy moment, fer sure!", said Janice.

"Yes, it is so excellent", said Clifford.

"I'll say", said Rowlf.

Gonzo then arrived with his cannon.

"Okay, I've got my cannon and my bricks", said Gonzo, "Let's fire away!"

Gonzo started firing bricks at the enemies, as well as at some cars.

"Good job!", said Crazy Harry, "Can I shoot some now?"

"I don't know", said Gonzo, "Can you?"

However, Crazy Harry took the cannon and started shooting some moe, but he quickly got bored.

"What's the matter, Crazy Harry?", asked Fozzie.

"Eh, they're not explosive enough", said Crazy Harry, "I'll get some of my own explosives".

Gonzo saw Beaker walking by, still with a bucket stuck on his head (and still with Pepe stuck inside the bucket).

"Hey, Beaker", said Gonzo, "Why don't you shoot at the enemies for awhile?"

Beaker reached his hands out, to feel where he was going, and he started to shoot... But since the bucket was blocking his vision, instead of hitting the enemies, he shot at Fozzie, Kermit, Bunsen, Bobo, some cars, a tree, and some frogs.

Beaker then shot Rowlf's piano.

"Hey, that was a new one!", exclaimed Rowlf.

And then Beaker shot Lips, and then shot Zoot, and then he shot both Animal and Animal's drum set.

"Well, those bricks really are powerful!", said Dr. Teeth.

"Uh, Beaker...", said Scooter, "Maybe a pro should take over".

"Yeah, like me, okay!", said Pepe.

Kermit was looking at how all of the enemies were looking defeated.

"Well, it looks like we taught them a lesson", said Kermit.

"That's right", said one of the frogs.

"We should always stick togetehr", said Robin.

But then a net pulled up from the ground, with all of the frogs in it.

"Help!", yelled the frogs.

"You know", thought Kermit, "Maybe we shouldn't have been so violent in the first place".

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

The frogs were caught in the net, and the other Muppets were standing still, in shock.

"Uh, we do outnumber them, right?", asked Clifford.

"Let me count them", said Thog, "One, two, three..."

"Enough is enough!", said the man in charge, "I have called the police, and you all will be arrested!"

"Oh...", moaned everybody.

"Maybe we should have just minded our own buisness", said Fozzie.

"Well, I'm done counting", said Thog, "And we don't outnumber them".

"Well", said one of the frogs, "You deserved us to damage you!"

"Oh?", said the man in charge, "Why's that? Why did you all attack me in the first place?"

"We needed to save our home!", said one of the frogs.

"Your home?", said the man in charge, "I guess that's reasonable... My home was destroyed to make way for a theme park back when I was a kid".

"So you'll stop construction and drop the charges?", asked Kermit.

"Heck no!", said the man, "I'm going to send you all to jail!".

"Oh, cool!", said Gonzo.

"At least we'll all be togetehr", said Seymour.

"Uh, jail is not a good place", said Rowlf.

"But... but you won't get away with this!", said Scooter.

"Oh, really?", said the man in charge, "Why not?"

"Well, because this is a work of fiction", said Scoter, "And you are the bad guys, and in fiction, the bad guys always eventually lose".

"Oh, yeah?", said the man in charge, "Well I think you are the bad guys!"

"That's only your opinion", said Robin.

"Yeah, in this story, you are a bad guy by fact and not opinion", said Kermit.

Beaker then sneezed, and with a bucket on his head and Pepe stuck inside, the snot got on Pepe.

"Eww, gross, okay!", said Pepe.

The police showed up.

"And if bad guys lose at the end, then how do you know it's the end?", said the man in charge.

"Excuse me", said an officer, "But you are under arrest".

"What? Why?", said the man in charge.

"Well, besides the fact that you are the bad guy", said the officer, "But you are behind on your taxes, your past stores are environmental hazzards, and you did not get permisison from the city to build something over the swamp."

The cop then pulled the man in charge to the police car as the Muppets all cheered.

"Hey, will somebody get us done?", asked Kermit.

"Oh, yeah", said Sweetums, who pulled out a knife and cut them down.

Kermit then turned and looked at us, saying "And in our next chapter we will finally have our St. Patricks Day Jambouree!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 7

The Muppets gathered to the swamp for the St. Patricks Day Jambouree, where the frogs were playing music, food was being served, and most of the Muppets were having a good time. Kermit led the other frogs in a performance of "Bein' Green". One frog was using the bucket as a drum while it was stil stuck on Beaker's head, and while Pepe was still stuck inside of it.

"Ouch!", yelled Pepe, "Will you stop hitting me, okay?"

"Hey, Sal", said Johnny Fiama, "This party is great. And the food is great, too".

"Yeah", said Sal, "This is the best St. Patrick's Day Ever!"

"Really?", questioned Johnny Fiama.

The frogs then finsihed their performance of "Bein' Green". After it was over, two really old frogs, who were sitting in a tree watching the performance, gave their comments on the performance.

"So, it's not easy being green", said one of the old frogs.

"No, it's not", said the other old frog, "Except when it's St. Patricks Day!"

The two frogs laughed. Fozzie heard them and said, "Hey, you two remind me of somebody".

"MEAL TIME! MEAL TIME!", shouted Animal.

"Oh, yeah, our meals have been ready for awhile, Animal", said Scooter.

"Duh fud toostes luk scruept", said The Swedish Chef.

"Oh, I agree", said Seymour.

"What a cute meal", said Bean Bunny.

"Help yourselves, everybody", said Kermit.

Miss Piggy then showed up, with several shopping bags.

"Well, I'm back", said Miss Piggy, "If there's one thing moi know, it's how to make an entrance". However, Miss Piggy was oblivious to the fact that nobody was paying attention to her.

Bunsen mushed up a lot of the food into a bowl, putting in some hot pepper and hot sauce in it.

"Here, Beaker", said Bunsen, "I've mashed up all the food for you so you can eat it better".

Bunsen put a long plastic tube onto the bowl.

"Now suck this straw", said Bunsne, who put it to Beaker's mouth".

Beaker started sucking on it, but the food was so hot that it made Beaker's skin turn red, causing the bucket to once again blast off his head. Pepe quickly fell off of it.

"Finally! I am free, okay!", said Pepe.

The bucket then fell onto the frogs house, and caused the house to fall apart.

"Oh, no!", said the frogs.

"Well, it looks like we'll have to stay here a few more days and help repair the house",s aid Kermit.

Upon saying that, all of the non-frog Muppets ran away, as quickly as possible.

"Good grief", said Kermit, scrunching his face.

The End