Here we go. This one can range for Seasons 1-5. I want to put all the skits in it. Cold Open Scooter: Fifteen minutes! (Reimu Hakurei is sitting in the dressing room.) Reimu: Hey, Scooter. What are Muppets? Are they youkai? Humans? Types of Lunarians? Or maybe something I haven't seen before. Like types of shapeshifters. Or maybe even a Daidarabotchi! Ooh... Scooter: They're puppets. Reimu: Puppets? You mean like dolls? Alice Margatroid likes puppets and dolls... Scooter: Reimu, "Muppet" is a combination of "Marionette" and "Puppet". Reimu: Ohhhh...I see. But how can you talk?! Scooter: Oh, no. (he rolls his eyes.) (Laugh track and applause) Theme Kermit: It's the Muppet Show, with our very special guest star...Reimu Hakurei! YAAAAAAAAAAY! (Applause as curtain rises and any theme variant of your choice plays.) (If it's the first season...) Fozzie: What's one way your history teacher and a toy train are different? One says "don't chew" and another says "chew chew!" Wocka wocka! Reimu Hakurei: holding singing Muppet vegetables (If it's the third season...) Waldorf: She probably stayed at my hotel. Statler: And mine, too! (But every version will end with...) Gonzo: (finally gets to do the trumpet solo he's been trying to play for all these years RIGHT.) Introduction/Opening Number Kermit: Thank you, thank you all, and welcome again to The Muppet Show. Tonight will be a bit strange, yet fun, because this week's guest star is Reimu Hakurei! YAAAAAAAAAY! (Reimu enters) Reimu: Hi! I'm so glad to see you all today. I hiked all the way from Gensokyo to Muppet Theater and who do I see? These cute puppets all welcoming me to the show...oh, and one more thing, I'm on TV! Kermit: So let's start the night on The Muppet Show! (applause as Kermit leaves the stage and the curtain rises.) Reimu sings "Look and What Do I See" from the Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure movie (composed by Joe Raposo) as Muppet penguins back her up. Balcony Statler: What does she see? Waldorf: I have no idea. Both: Dohohoho! Backstage Scene #1 (Reimu and the penguins enter the room and see Kermit sitting at the desk.) Reimu: Oh, Kermie...that experience was pleasant! Everyone got to hear my singing voice... (Suddenly, Miss Piggy barges in!) Miss Piggy: (angrily) HIIIIIIII-YAAAAH! Nobody else dares to call him Kermie EXCEPT ME! Reimu: (in shock) Oh, I'm so sorry...I didn't know you were here. (Miss Piggy calms down) Miss Piggy: (confused) Why are there a bunch of penguins there? Reimu: That...was for our opening number. (They overhear Kermit talking on the phone.) Kermit (on the phone): Okay, Scooter, do you have everything for the big finale number? The jet skis, the fireworks, the water light show, the theater exploding into pieces... Miss Piggy: (scared) WHAT DID HE JUST SAY? THE THEATER EXPLODING INTO PIECES? Reimu: (also scared) Uh-oh...in Gensokyo, I had to deal with some dangerous stuff...but not the place I was in exploding! Miss Piggy: We've gotta get out of here! (Both rush off screaming.) First Act Kermit: And now...here is Reimu Hakurei! (applause) (Reimu comes onstage, looking a bit nervous. She calms herself down.) Reimu: Good to see you! I'd like to tell you all about what goes on in my hometown of Gensokyo. There are these creatures called "youkai", and they attack with special powers called "danmaku". It's colored circles. Getting hit with one feels like getting hit by a ball. So think of them being magical baseballs. (laugh track) Here is a danmaku battle in action. (She turns on a film projector behind her. It shows her battling Flandre Scarlet. The crowd oohs and aahs at the danmaku.) Kermit: Well, we better get backstage. We have a surprise planned for you at the end of the show. (Reimu is startled.) Reimu: Oh no... Backstage Scene #2 (Kermit and Scooter are sharing a clipboard.) Scooter: Pyrotechnics? Check. Kermit: Live orchestra? Check. (Reimu runs in.) Reimu: Oh, hey! What are we gonna...do at the end of the show? Kermit: It's a secret. I can't tell to anyone except the cast members. Wait and see. (Reimu turns toward the camera and breaks the 4th wall.) Reimu: (whispering) They're obviously gonna blow up the theater. (She turns back to Kermit.) Reimu: Just asking. Can I go back to the dressing room now? Kermit: Sure. (Reimu leaves in a panic.) Rowlf's Act Rowlf plays "Necrofantasia" on the piano, destroying it in the process. Guest Dressing Room Scene (Reimu hears the door being knocked.) Reimu: Come right in! (Sam the Eagle enters.) Sam: Reimu, are you American? Reimu: No. I'm Japanese. I come from Gensokyo, which is in Japan. Sam: WHAT?! YOU ARE NOT AMERICAN? (he cries) Reimu: Yep. Watashi no namae wa Hakurei Reimu. (Sam leaves and slams the door. The door knocks again.) Reimu: Come in! (Fozzie Bear enters.) Fozzie: Hey, Reimu! What did the Gensokyo person say to the other Gensokyo person? Reimu: I dunno, what? Fozzie: "Did Dan make you?" Ha-ha! Get it? "Dan make you?" Wocka wocka wocka! Reimu: Yeah! "Danmaku!" Hey. I heard something terrible's gonna happen at the end of the show. Fozzie: (gasp) What's that? Reimu: Me and Miss Piggy overheard Kermit on the phone saying that the theater's gonna explode into pieces! Fozzie: No! Reimu: It's true. I think he told you about the "surprise" at the end, since he said he was only gonna tell it to the cast members. Fozzie: He didn't get up to me yet. And "surprise" at the end...didn't that Jennifer Somethingoranother say that at the beginning of all her movies? Reimu: Jennifer Sekiguchi. Yep, the surprise ends up being a lame music video, anime OP, or home video logos and promos WE DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT! (grunts in anger) Fozzie: I've gotta go now. See ya! (he leaves) (Kermit's voice is heard from the other end of the door.) Kermit: (offscreen) Fozzie? We're doing something special at the end of the show... Reimu: Uh-oh. Pigs in Space Announcer: And now we return for another exhilarating episode of PIIIIIIIIIIIIGS IIIIIIN SPAAAAAAAAACE! Right now, the Swinetrek is threatened with a challenge... (Piggy, Link, and Strangepork are all worried.) Link: If we go into Hyperspace, we may never come out! Piggy: But if we don't go in, we can't save the galaxy! Strangepork: Make up your mind, morons! (Link and Piggy turn to Strangepork angrily.) Piggy: What did you just say? Strangepork: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you like that. Link: Let's go into Hyperspace and save the galaxy! Piggy + Strangepork: All right... (They go into Hyperspace.) Piggy: This is like that tunnel scene in the movie Willy Wonka! Link: Yep. Strangepork: The asteroid over there...is coming towards us! (They all scream and spas out.) Piggy: Wait up! I've got this! (She presses a button and destroys the asteroid. It hurls them out of Hyperspace and back onto Earth. Three Whatnots are dancing joyously.) Whatnot #2: You did it, Swinetrek crew! Whatnot #1: You saved the earth! Whatnot #3: Three cheers for the Swinetrek! Hip hip... Whatnots: Hooray! Link: Well...looks like our work here is done. Announcer: That's the end of the satisfying conclusion of...PIIIIIIIIIIIGS IIIIIIIIN SPAAAAAAACE! The end. UK Spot Reimu dances on a table at a restaurant while a British Whatnot and Gonzo watch. Second Act (Kermit walks onstage.) Kermit: Here's Annie Sue! The most lovely lady of song! YAAAAAAY! (Applause; he spazzes offstage as the curtain rises.) Annie Sue sings "Bicycle" by Queen while riding a helicopter-bike hybrid. The act ends with the hybrid crashing. Balcony Statler: Well, wasn't THAT fun? Waldorf: You betcha! Both: Dohoho! Swedish Chef He tries to make sushi, but ends up almost cooking Lew Zealand. Gonzo's Act Kermit: And now...The Great Gonzo! (The curtain opens as Gonzo is hanging from a trapeze. Reimu is hanging on with him.) Gonzo: Today, me and my lovely assistant Reimu will fly around the theater from a trapeze! (Applause) Reimu: Here we goooooooooo! (Gonzo counts to three, and swings off.) Gonzo + Reimu: Wheeee! (They fly around the theater, but then they're about to crash.) Gonzo: Uh-oh! (Reimu keeps flying and saves Gonzo from falling by scooping him up in her arms and putting him on her back.) Reimu: I have the power to FLY! (Applause) Balcony Waldorf: What was that? Statler: A girl who can fly, duh! Both: Dohohoho! Backstage Scene #3 Kermit: The cast members are all here! Is everyone all ready for the big finale number? Everyone else: Yes! (Reimu runs in.) Reimu: (to herself) THEY'RE GONNA BLOW THIS PRECIOUS THEATER UP! NOOOOOO! Reimu: (out loud) Gee, I wonder what will happen! Say, do you mind if I can sing? Kermit: Of course. Scooter: Two minutes until showtime! All (except Kermit and Scooter) + Reimu: Hooray! Miss Piggy: Hey...wait. The big "finale" number? Are we gonna end this show for good? Kermit: Yes, milady. Miss Piggy: NOOOOOOOOOOO! (laugh track) Kermit: But only for a little while. Miss Piggy: Phew, thanks for mentioning that. (laugh track) Scooter: Better get on out there! Fozzie: Every time we mention it, I get even more excited! Yay! Reimu: (faintly) I get nervous and sad. The theater's gonna be GONE for GOOD! Closing Number (Applause) Kermit: Get ready...because THIS is the biggest musical number you have ever seen! THIS is our closing number! YAAAAAAAAAAY! (Applause grows louder.) A live orchestra performs an orchestral version of the Muppet Show theme. The penguins (from the opening number), Miss Piggy, Annie Sue, Spamela Hamderson, and Mary Louise sing along as Walter whistles and tap-dances to it. A water light show plays as Miss Piggy, Gonzo, and Beaugard jetski. They are joined by Reimu. Fireworks boom and bang. Other elegant, extravagant things happen until it grows silent. Reimu: (nervous, trembling) Uh-oh. Kermit: And now, watch what will happen to our Muppet Theater. (Miss Piggy and Reimu are scared.) Miss Piggy + Reimu: Oh no. (The music grows to a crescendo.) The Muppet Theater EXPLODES! Just like Reimu was worried it would. Reimu ducks down and covers her ears. Kermit: It's fine, get up! (She does.) Kermit: That was a great explosion! Crazy Harry: Did somebody say "explosion"? Kermit: Yep! (Crazy Harry blows everything in the theater up!) Miss Piggy: (with a speechless look on her face.) Wow... (Reimu and the Muppets are standing in the rubble of the theater.) Reimu: THAT WAS FUN! Miss Piggy: I know! Reimu: Hey, I'd like to sing a song. Kermit: Go ahead! Reimu leads all the Muppets in a rendition of "Neko Miko Reimu". Huge ovation at the end. Curtain Call Kermit: That was a GREAT show tonight, especially the spectacular grand finale! Reimu: That was an awesome show, I loved every bit of it. And, Kermit? I knew you were gonna blow up the theater and was really scared to ask you if you really were gonna blow it up. Miss Piggy was also scared, too. We overheard you talking to Scooter on the phone about it. Kermit: I'm sorry... Reimu: It's okay. Kermit: Well, anyway, it was even better, thanks to our wonderful guest star, Reimu Hakurei! (applause) Reimu: Yay! Kermit: We'll see you next time on the Muppet Show! (SUPER: Next year.) Kermit + Reimu: Goodbye! (Applause and laughter as the theme plays.) Balcony Closing Statler: Well, Waldorf, we finally get to take a break. Waldorf: Let's leave and live our normal lives again for a few months. Both: Dohohoho! (They leave.) (Da-da-da-da-da-DA! Zoot's note: BWAAAAA!) The end! (Credits are as usual, except an added credit: Pauline Newstone as Reimu.) Thanks for reading!