One mistake! PG-13ISH

Muppetgirl09

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That's fine that is your choice, but at least work on the grammar. and stop throwing in a new person every other chapter. Establish your ground story and the people who are in then add where they are and the people around them.
It's part of writing stories to me. That's how I think about the flow of the stories.
 

Muppetgirl09

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More is coming soon. Rowlf, Riley, Robin, and Val are in the story, but more of characters will come soon.
 

Muppetgirl09

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More is coming soon. Rowlf, Riley, Robin, and Val are in the story, but more of characters will come soon.
The next story will take place in the past when Kermit and Miss Piggy are NOT married, but the rest of the gang will be mostly like this on this story.
 

Ruahnna

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It's part of writing stories to me. That's how I think about the flow of the stories.

Hi Muppetgirl09--welcome to Muppet Central and the Fan Fiction and Fan Art Boards. I am always happy to see new writers coming out and sharing their work with us.

While it should have been said in a more polite manner, I think it is worth thinking about when someone reads your story and comments about it. They have taken their time to let you know something about your story that they think you should know. Sometimes it is positive, and sometimes it is not, but feedback is almost always valuable in some way.

It is true that writers write primarily for themselves. Most writers would write even if there was no audience, but that does not mean that we should put our work out there without regard for the audience. It is considered good writing--and good writing manners--to do the best you possibly can to have correct grammar and spelling and punctuation. You do not have to be perfect. No one expects you to be perfect, especially when you are new and learning, but since you are posting for an audience--and not just for yourself--it is a courtesy to make your story the best it can be and as readable as possible.

Let me say right up front that I am the typo queen! It is much easier for me to copy edit things that others write because I read what they have written. When I read my own writing, sometimes I read what I meant to say instead of what actually made it onto the paper (or computer). Sometimes it helps to read your story out loud to yourself (or someone who likes your story!)--that's a great way to catch mistakes. Some writers like to use a beta--someone who volunteers to help proofread for you before your post a story.

As to story and characters--we learn as we go, but learning requires willingness to learn. Keep in mind that the stories who interest us most here at MC and the characters who will interest us most are the ones we already know. Stories and action centered around the characters we know and love will be more likely to be read. OCs (original characters) are just fine--we're all quite fond of OCs here, but make sure we get to know your characters through good character and plot development. Try to have a clear idea of what your story is about and where it is going. Whenever possible, show, don't tell. Let the readers "see" the action rather than just "telling" us about it.

I'm glad to see you are planning a second story, Dear. I hope you'll stick with it and finish the one you started here. That, too, is respectful to your readers and lets them know you don't take them for granted. Mostly, our folks here at MC are kind and friendly and helpful.

Again, welcome--keep at it!

Ruahnna
aka Auntie Ru
 

dwayne1115

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I understand, and I'm sorry if I upset you with my other comments. I do want to see how this will end....Hopefully it will end good?
 

Muppetgirl09

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I understand, and I'm sorry if I upset you with my other comments. I do want to see how this will end....Hopefully it will end good?
It's ok. It will end well and it will have a twist in the plot during the story. You didn't upset me.
 

Muppetgirl09

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Ch. 4

"I don't know what happened." Kermit said. Fozzie helped him up and took him outside in the backyard. "I know this is hard-" "Yea," the frog said, "She's not as strong as she was before." "The last time she was gone scared you and I know you love her, but maybe she needs to relax." Fozzie told him. Kermit nodded in agreement. "What if she never comes back? What will I do?" the frog asked, trying to stay calm. Fozzie pulled him into a bear hug. "You want to be alone?" the bear asked. The frog nodded in agreement and Fozzie went back inside. Then, he got a phone call. Link.
"What do you want?"​
"I need to talk to Piggy."​
"No."​
"Why?"​
"She's gone, not here."​
"Where is she?"​
"That's none of your buisness."​
"Can I come back?"​
"Why?​
"I miss it."​
"You didn't seem to care when you nearly killed her."​
"I'm sorry."​
"Ok. There's one condition.'​
"What?"​
"Stay away from her."​
"Ok, thanks."​
He hung up the phone, knowing that he made a huge mistake. He got his phone and dialed Miss Piggy's number. "Hi, it's Miss Piggy! Send me a message and I'll call back as soon as possible, thanks!" her voicemail said. "Piggy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and I'm worried about you." he bawled. "I really need you to come back. Love you, bye."​
He hung up the phone and the dam broke. Link appeared out of nowhere. "Hey," he said, "We need to talk." "About what?" Kermit asked. "Piggy." Link replied. "She's my wife." the frog said. Kermit walked over to him. "If you ever hurt her again, you will be out in two seconds flat." Link nodded in agreement.​
 

Muppetgirl09

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Ch. 4 pt. 2

Kermit walked closer to Link and got his bags. "Stay here." he demanded. Link nodded in agreement. Kermit went back inside and up to the pig's room. "I hope he has his head on straight now and not try to kill her." he said to himself. Suddenly, he found something not so right in the bag. Pictures of his newly wife. His face turned blood red. Well, that pig better start running away. He knew that Link still has feelings for her, but not as serious.​
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​
Fozzie and Gonzo are too busy making jokes and running around the room like they had just got rejected from a TV show. "Why are we running like chickens?" Gonzo asked. "I don't know." Fozzie replied. "How's Kermit?" the wierdo asked. "I talked to him," the bear said, "He's pretty much too upset for anything. Piggy better come back soon and if she doesn't, he won't be himself ever again. Link's back and Kermit warned him to stay away from her or else." Gonzo nodded in agreement.​
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​
Kermit went back ouside where Link's at. I'm in trouble, Link thought. Kermit walked closer to him and...SWAT! Link was down on the ground. "Why do you have pictures of Piggy in your bag?" he asked. "Listen, uh, I didn't really mean to make you angry about this-" "Save it." the frog intrupted him.​
At the door, Miss Piggy was standing there. "Kermit, let him go!" she said. She ran and pulled him off. "Piggy?" Link asked. "Link, why are you here?" she asked. "I got another chance." he replied. "Well, keep your distance." Kermit told him. Link walked inside. Kermit got closer to her and pulled her into a huge hug. "I'm sorry." the frog said, not letting her go. "Why did you call?" she asked. "All that matters is that you're ok," he said, "I didn't mean to hurt you." "I'm bored," she said, "Wanna watch a movie?" He nodded in agreement. "I love you." he said. "I love you, too." she walked away.​
Kermit and Miss Piggy both got on the sofa and started kissing. She started to unbutton his shirt. "Well, I found what about the test," she said, "Twins." "What? Are you serious?" he asked. She nodded in agreement. "I can't believe it!" he said. "I know." she told him. "Why did you leave?" he asked seriously. "I thought that you-" "I never wanted you to leave," Kermit began, "Last time that happened, Link broke your leg. I couldn't even think about and neither could Constantine.​
Yes, I know that being a protective husband and soon father. When you left, I couldn't do anything. Listen to me, if I ever in my life lose you ever again, I will never forgive myself. I told you that before and I still mean it." he finished. He pulled her into a long kiss that made every problem go away. "So, it's true?" Link asked. Kermit nodded to him. Link got closer to her. "You've changed." he held her hand. "You know, if you touch her one more time, I'll have you on the ground." Kermit told him. Link ran away in a panic. "Where were we?" Kermit asked, pulled into a kiss again. Fozzie came in with popcorn, drinks, and a movie. "Kermit-" Kermit waved him away as they kissed.​
 
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