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The Count

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Heh, must be the standard font Phillip's set for the forum postings.
However, if you copy and paste from the forum to your word document, it'll take the font and size you have there.

Only a few minor nitpicks in terms of consistency.
Shouldn't the last two chapters have been 5 and 6 instead of 6 and 7?
In Chapter 3 when you say that Amy drive away, me thinks it should be "drove away".
Other than that, I think the story's going wery well. A deep mystery between Gobo and Red, the unsolved problems of the here and now with the disappearances, and the hitherto unknown future of what'll happen to the Rock.
Keep it up, look forward to reading more.
 

christyb

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Chapter 5-oops my bad.

I'm posting this in two different places at once and forgot to post Chapter 5 here. (No wonder when I reread it I was like wahhhh???) So this should clear up some questions. It should be drove away. I'm terrible when it comes at grammar and miss things when I edit.

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chapter Five[/font]



Amy and Matt plodded on looking straight ahead. Matt was chattering about his many adventures in the Silly Creature world. As of right now Amy silently listened about the box that talked back to you and ate flat rollies. It took her a few minutes to realize that he was talking about a CD Player. She turned to tell Matt the real name of the object of which he was talking about when she noticed something odd.

For you see as she was walking Amy did not realize that she was changing. Before at her normal height Uncle Traveling Matt only came to her knees. The two travelers had passed from the realm of what is known as the human world and into the world of Fraggle Rock. Amy had shrunk to the height of a fraggle. Matt now came to just about eye level on her. Not saying anything she looked around her at their surroundings. The trees were as skyscrapers and even the wildflowers were the height of small houses.

A clearing opened up ahead and Amy realized she was completely lost. Up ahead was a gigantic garden with a monstrous castle looming overhead. Amy had seen nothing like it in her life. She had to stop and stare. Matt who had stopped to look at a butterfly bumped into her from behind.

“Why did you stop for??” he asked.

“Ummm…Does something seem strange to you?” she asked in return.

“Well no…wait you’re not as tall nor as frightening as before. What did you do to yourself?”

“I have no idea. I think it happened while we were walking. This is so weird. I just shrunk from Five foot something to about two.”

“ I beg your pardon! I am not a mere two feet. What’s a foot?”

“Never mind. Do you have any idea where we….”

Before she could finish a familiar voice broke the peaceful silence of the garden, “Heh, Heh. I got you now you wittle fwaggle.” Junior quickly bent down his 22-foot frame and scooped Amy up without any apparent effort at all. Matt quickly run and hid behind a radish plant; unsure as to how or whether he should help out.

“Excuse me. Would you mind putting me down? Didn’t your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?” Amy crossed her arms and tried to wiggle out of Junior’s grip.

“You the funniest looking fwaggle I’ve ever seen”

“That’s because I’m not a fwaggle, I mean fraggle.”

“Then what are you?”

“I’m a human a homo sapien or however scientists say it. And a very uncomfortable one at that. If you won’t let me go you could at least loosen your grip.”

“ Oh no. I gotta go show you to my Pa and Ma.”

Junior quickly rushed to the castle yelling for his Pa and Ma to come quick and see what he had caught. Never minding the fact that he was supposed to be doing his chores. The other Gorgs came running out and met Junior by the well. Ma immediately began screaming and wildly tossing her hands about for Junior to get rid of the hideous thing. Unfortunately one of her hands threw Junior off balance and he tossed Amy into the air who fell down the well.

While in Fraggle Rock the fraglets were getting antsy. All of the catching up was great for the grown-ups but it was very boring. Gabs motioned for Sky to follow her. Kinu and Mopu weren’t far behind. Each slipped out unbeknownst to their parents. Once out they quietly giggled and headed out.

Pretty soon they were out of hearing range, “Alright, now what?” Mopu asked “We explore like Uncle Gobo. He always has a ton of fun doing it.” Gabs said while heading in the general direction of the Great Hall.

“Yeah but we’re not allowed to go anywhere without one of our parents,” Kinu pointed out.

“How hard can it be. Uncle tells us stories all the time. You two can just stay and listen to the grown-ups talk! C’mon Sky,” Gabs hooked her arm in Sky’s.

Just ahead Amy was walking the cavern’s of Fraggle Rock. She knew better than to stay in what seemed to be the central room. She looked funny enough; especially since she was dripping wet. Amy sat down on a rock and began to wring herself out. Pretty soon both parties met up.

“Hey, Gabs what’s that?” Sky whispered stared at the soggy creature sitting on a rock ahead.

“I don’t know I’ve never seen anything like it. Never here in the Rock. How about you?” Gabs whispered back.

“No never.”

The dynamic duo were not afraid in the least. They quickly ran up and perched each other on Amy’s shoulders. Amy looked up surprised and realized that these must be more Fraggles. That Matt wasn’t alone in the world after all.

“Hi. What are You” Kinu asked.

Amy giggled, “I’m Amy.”

“What’s a Amy” Mopu asked from the other side.

“She’s an Amy silly” Kinu reached over and thumped Mopu on the head, “Where did you come from? How did you get here? Why are you here..”

“Whoa one at a time! I’d like to know who you two cuties are.”

Kinu looked over Amy’s head and whispered loudly to Mopu, “Yuck! She called us cute.”

“I’m Mopu and the one on your other side is Kinu. And the two silly one’s over there are Sky and Gabs. Gab’s the one in the blue shirt. Sky’s wearing red.”

“Thank you. And as for you,” Amy took both fraglets off her and sets them down, “ I don’t know why I’m here. I came from well, where you probably would call Outer Space. And a big creature dropped me down a well. I believe he would be called a Gorg”

Sky approached Amy with wide eyes, “You’ve seen an actual Gorg?”

“More or less yes.” Amy smiled at her, “ Haven’t you?”

“ No we’re not allowed to go anywhere without our parents. As a matter of fact if we get caught now we’ll be in big trouble,” Gabs said.

Boober could be heard in the distance calling Gabs, “Gabs where are you? You know you aren’t supposed to wonder off without someone with you. You could get infected by a terrible disease. Gabs!!!”

“Well then. I believe we should find your parents. I don’t know my way around here so you will have to lead on,” Amy stood and took Sky’s outstretched hand. Gabs bounced on ahead while Kinu grabbed Amy’s other hand and Mopu jumped back onto Amy’s shoulders and went along for the ride. She wasn’t sure how other Fraggles would accept her but these four seemed okay with her presence. They were children she could tell. Kids were always easier to accept new and different things. She only hoped that Matt would be okay.
 

The Count

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Ah, that's better. As for the little things I said, don't worry kiddo, you're doing vonderful.
3 segments in one day, you deserve a big pile of radish cookies. Take a break, the rest will come. Lookin' forward to what's next.
 

christyb

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Don't worry I am. I'm having problems fitting a couple of subplots together right now. Everyone over at fragglerocker is a little impatient but two in one day is enough! (Chapter five was posted yesterday) All in all I'm glad you like it. (and anyone else who is reading.)
 

Erine81981

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Keep up the awsome work. Now you need to send it to JHC and tell them to make it into a movie and I'll go watch it.
 

redBoobergurl

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Erine81981 said:
Keep up the awsome work. Now you need to send it to JHC and tell them to make it into a movie and I'll go watch it.
Ditto for me! This would make an AWESOME movie!
 

christyb

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Holy Cow! :excited: You think it's that good????!!!!!!
 

redBoobergurl

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I definately think it's that good! You stay true to the original characters and what Fraggle Rock is about. You provide good details about the action taking place and the new characters. I think it's great! I've read alot of fan fics on Fanfiction.net that are NOT GOOD at all, yours blows them all out of the water! Can't wait for the next chapter!
 

Erine81981

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redBoobergurl said:
I definately think it's that good! You stay true to the original characters and what Fraggle Rock is about. You provide good details about the action taking place and the new characters. I think it's great! I've read alot of fan fics on Fanfiction.net that are NOT GOOD at all, yours blows them all out of the water! Can't wait for the next chapter!

I agree with Beth. Me and Monsters are waiting for the next chapter too.
 

christyb

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Thanks guys. I'm blushing. The next chapter isn't quite ready yet. I reread it last night and got utterly confused. So there are some things that need to be tweaking. However to make Chapter 7 end on a note that I wanted the Next post will have the ending of it.
 
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