Scooter's Story

Actually, the random Pepe stuff was helping me think of new things to do with the story.

Whenever you get writers block, you can e-mail me ANY Pepe stuff you want!

I will do that.

(more story tomorrow. tear jerker comin' up!)

You know I think I've had this conversation with Lisa(TogetherAgain) about muffining your fan-fic when you have writer's block...I don't remember how it turned out, but I know at least one of us got mauled with penguins.

Nice story chief.

The bit with Johnny and Sal was five out of five stars in my book of "How many stars to give fan fics"!

I also liked Pepe and his bit.

Isn't that how all topics end?

Here? Yes. Now if only we could get congress to end topics like that, THEN we'd live in a perfect world.

I wouldn't mind hurling a few penguins at some of them.....

We now present... The Pollitical Penguin runs for President...

Presidential hopeful, P. E. N. Guin: Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. ... Quack quack.

*Pollitical Penguin leaves podium*

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM enters and joins the party.

FLOYD: Hey, man, what's goin' down? Some kind of party we wasn't invited to?

JANICE: Well, boy, it rully seems like it, fer sure.

FLOYD: Well, all right then. Wouldn't be a party if we couldn't crash it, after all.

ANIMAL: Party! Party! Caffeine! Crash!

FOZZIE gets up on top of a box so he can see over (most of) the other Muppets. He has a glass of champagne in hand, as well as a fork.

FOZZIE: Excuse me? Everybody?

FOZZIE begins clinking the fork against the glass to get their attention.

FOZZIE: Could I have everyone's attention, please?

He's not getting it, so he hits the fork against the glass harder and harder until the glass shatters.

FOZZIE: Ooops.

This gets everyones attention.

FOZZIE: Oh, uh, hiya, hiya, hiya! It's me, the old furry, fuzzy, funny man! Wah ha ha! I would just like to say that I think Scooter has been a wonderful contribution to the Muppets, and I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we will miss you. And I...

FOZZIE buries his face in his hat to keep from crying. KERMIT goes up to help him out.

KERMIT: It's okay, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: It's just so sad, Kermit.

KERMIT: I know, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: I put alot of work into this speech.

KERMIT: Er, I know, Fozzie. Go sit down, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: You'll finish it?

KERMIT: Yes, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: You'll include the joke about the pirahna and the hubble telescope?

KERMIT: Er, just sit down, Fozzie.

FOZZIE: Thank you, Kermit.

FOZZIE sits down on the box. KERMIT looks down at him confused.

FOZZIE: I'm ready when you are, Kermit.

KERMIT shrugs his shoulders.

KERMIT: Scooter, I suppose everything I say to you now comes from the heart. Mine and Fozzie's and everyone else here. You're a part of our family, Scooter. We know we'll see you again, but... until then, we'll all miss you. I know you'll carry a piece of us wherever you go, and we'll carry a piece of you until you return.

CRAZY HARRY: I could arrange that! Hahahahahaha!

ANIMAL: Big boom! Big boom! Blow up! Ha ha!

KERMIT: Would someone calm those two down???

FLOYD: Animal, take this mild sedetive!

ROWLF: Crazy Harry, take this not-so-mild sedetive!

ROWLF conks HARRY over the head with a club.

KERMIT: Anyway, Scooter, we may be a bunch of crazies, but we're not without heart, and we're going to miss you. With that... I'd like to propose a toast...

They all raise their glasses, including FOZZIE with his broken glass.

KERMIT: (cont'd) ... to Scooter.

SCOOTER: Gosh! Gee, thanks everybody!

MISS PIGGY enters.

MISS PIGGY: *ahem!* What's going on, everyone?

SCOOTER: Oh, hi, Miss Piggy!

KERMIT: Piggy, where have you been?

PIGGY: Well, I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but... (yelling) The show is still on!!!

KERMIT: What??? The show is still on???

GONZO: (looking out at the audience) She's right, Kermit. We've got a full crowd, and they don't look too happy. Cool, that should be great for my act! So much more danger working for a riled audience.

KERMIT: Everyone to your places, now! Onstage, offstage, in the rafters! Everyone, go, go, go!!!

SCOOTER: But, what about...

Everyone runs off to their various assignments. The only one left is SCOOTER.

SCOOTER: ... Me?

SCOOTER goes up to his cake and looks down at it. Someone has drawn a silly little picture of him in the icing.

SCOOTER: Gosh, it sure is nice to know you have people who care about you. And, I am going to miss this place, and all of these people. But this is something I have to do... for me.

(looking around; sung)

Saying goodbye,
Going away.
Seems like goodbye's such
A hard thing to say.
Touching a hand,
Wondering why?
It's time for saying goodbye.

(picking up his luggage; walking to the door)

Saying goodbye,
Why is it sad?
Makes us remember
The good times we've had.
Much more to say,
Foolish to try,
It's time for saying goodbye.

(exiting the building)

Don't want to leave,
But we both know
Sometimes it's better to go.

(stops outside the building, looks at it)

Somehow I know,
We'll meet again.
Not sure quite where,
And I don't know just when.
You're in my heart, so until then...
It's time for saying goodbye...

SCOOTER leaves, we watch him as he disappears in the distance.

KERMIT comes rushing out of the building.

KERMIT: Scooter! Scooter?!

He is there just in time to watch him almost out of sight.

KERMIT: Goodbye, Scooter.

(sung)

Somehow I know,
We'll meet again,
Not sure quite where
And I don't know just when.

FOZZIE enters to join him.

FOZZIE:

You're in my heart, so until then...

KERMIT:

Wanna smile...

FOZZIE:

Wanna cry...

KERMIT AND FOZZIE:

Saying goodbye....

We pull out to reveal all of the Muppets outside of the building.

ALL BUT KERMIT AND FOZZIE:

La la la la, la la la la, la la la la la la la!!!

As the song ends, SAL comes running out of the theater.

SAL: Okay, everyone! Johnny Fiama frantically comin' through!

JOHNNY runs out with a tray of cannollis.

JOHNNY: Hot cannolli! Hot cannolli! HOT!!!

The cannollis go flying everywhere as JOHNNY trips over the sidewalk.

SAL: You dropped them, Johnny.

JOHNNY: I noticed that, Sal... *sniff sniff*

SAL: All right! Back to the kitchen! We'll remake those cannollis good!

SCENE 7

EXT. STREET

SCOOTER is walking along, humming to himself.

SCOOTER: La la la la la la la! Boy, this is great! Off on my own to find my future! ... Wait a minute... on my own?

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM bus pulls up next to him. FLOYD peeks his head out a window.

FLOYD: Hey, you forgettin' somethin'?

SCOOTER: ... Oh, you're right! I left my underwear bag!

FLOYD: Naw, man! You forgot... You need a whole bag for just you tighty-whiteys?

SCOOTER: Well, I wasn't sure how long I'd be away from a washing machine.

DR. TEETH: Too true, too true.

FLOYD: Naw, some cat told us you was plannin' on joinin' us on our concert tour! We don't need any other musicians, but we could sure use a road manager. We know you know how to do the job.

SCOOTER: Well, sure!

FLOYD: Hop aboard the rollin' hall of musical fame!

SCOOTER: Gee, thanks!

SCOOTER enters the bus.

FLOYD: Whatever you do, just don't---

We hear SCOOTER scream.

FLOYD: --- don't sit next to Animal.

ANIMAL: Ahh! Fresh meat!

JANICE: Like, we go through more road managers that way.

SCOOTER: (dizzily standing up inside the bus) Oh, that's all right. I'm fine!

SCOOTER passes out.

DR. TEETH: All right, sit down and buckle up! Next stop: Who knows!

I... am soooooooooo stuck...

Oh but it's sooooooooo good SS! Fozzie was AWESOME during the party! And Floyd was perfect!! Of course there's really no need to mention that you've got Johnny and Sal down to a T, cause you do!! It's really really awesome, can't wait for more.

Thanks.

I know where the story is going, I just don't know how to get there from here.

I really wanted to give Fozzie a big part during that scene. It just seemed to me as though Kermit would might be more fitting, but it didn't make any sense since Kermit didn't even know the party was going on.

That, and the constant Fozzie/Scooter bits are sort of based on a quote from the book Of Muppets and Men.

Oh, I hate it when that happens...I'm actually going through that right now in my fan-fic "Don't Trip the Driver," I know where I want the story to go, I just don't know how to build the bridge to get it there.

I don't have any problem getting over the bridge. It's getting the Electric Mayhem bus across (I think the bridge was made for small beasts of burden)

That had me laughing. Dr. Teeth has no idea where he and the rest of the band are going. For all he knows, the band might end up in a town called "I Scratch Your Back, You Marry My Daughter" town.

Pssssssss..............Get Zoot to say some stuff man. It's like he's part of the band but can't say anything. Er wait, he's like that all the time. You know what I mean!

The story's not over yet. I got some big plans for Zoot.

Unfortunately, though, one of my ideas for this story was used in "The Muppets Vs. Las Vegas" (yes, I've been thinking of this THAT long). So, I'm trying to figure out just how to work through that without needing that part of the story.

As I write this story, I can't help but notice another storyline that has emerged unintentionally...

I didn't realive it before, but the story of Scooter's leaving could be easily compared to the passing of Richard Hunt. That is, how did the Muppeteers and others who knew and worked with him react and cope? How would the Muppets deal with the (although not permenant) loss of an important member of their troupe? It's easy to overlook just how important Scooter was to The Muppet Show, but he was a vital part, in my opinion, of the show. In realizing this, and in reevaluating my approach to the story, it has revitalized, in a sense, my interest in the story, and has loosened my writer's block.

It reminds me of a nice little scene I wrote for the fan-fic "The Muppets Vs. Las Vegas" where Kermit takes a moment to discuss matters with Rowlf. In the scene, Rowlf has just returned from vacation, and is on the roof, gazing out at the stars. As Kermit leaves the scene, he says to Rowlf: "It's good to have you back." It's meant to not simply be Kermit welcoming back Rowlf, but the entire Muppet Community welcoming back a beloved character, an old friend, and, perhaps, a piece of Jim we feared we had lost.

I do not intend to lose sight of the fact that Scooter is the main character. However, I do intend to examine this new development further as the story progresses, as I can't help but feel intruiged by the idea.

... with that, I would like to conclude this segment of my own shameless self-promotion.

I wasn't sure whether or not to actually include this scene, but, I figured the older Muppets are filled with sick humor and dismemberments and stuff like that.

If anyone feels it out of place, let me know, I have another idea that could easily replace it:

SCENE 8

INT. LEPER COLONY

The MUPPET LEPERS have gathered, and they're having a party! Mostly Whatnot and anything Muppets that have been completely put together, although a few could be made to accomodate the scene.

There is a sign hanging that reads: "Welcome to the party at the leper colony! Please check your hats, coats, and desired body parts at the door."

SCOOTER and THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM are there. SCOOTER takes a quick look around.

SCOOTER: Rock stars play at leper colonies?

FLOYD: Hey, man! Ya gotta play where the gigs is at!

DR. TEETH: We had our choice between lepers and leopards, and we decided to take our chances.

FLOYD: Unfortunately, the leopards didn't like our kind o' music too much.

A LEPER walks past.

LEPER#1: Unclean! Unclean!

ANIMAL: Unclean! Unclean! Take bath! Go home!

LEPER#1: Well, that is very insensitive!

ANIMAL: So-rry!

The LEPER continues on.

SCOOTER: Okay, so what's your playlist?

DR. TEETH: Playlist? Who said anything about a playlist?

FLOYD: Playlists are for the brds, the Styx, and squares, man!

JANICE: Like, you especially don't need a playlist when you're playing back up fer someone.

SCOOTER: Back up?

FLOYD: (to JANICE) Cool it, honey bunches!

SCOOTER: We're playing back up for someone?

FLOYD: Well, it's not as bad as it sounds.

DR. TEETH: Yeah, we could be unemployed.

ANIMAL: Un-em-ployed! RAH!

ZOOT nods in agreement. (editor's note: See? Big things for Zoot already!)

SCOOTER: Well, okay, then. I guess it's cool and all.

FLOYD: See that? The kid's learning quick!

SCOOTER: So, who are we playing for?

---

LATER, once the band has set up all their equipment and are in position to play (SCOOTER is off to the side watching), WEIRD AL enters!

WEIRD AL: Hey, hey, hey! Are you ready to rock and roll???

There is mized reactions from the LEPERS.

WEIRD AL: ... Well, okay! We're gonna start things off with a little number for all of you... hit it!

The band begins to play, starting with a brief drum solo from ANIMAL.

As the song, progresses, WEIRD AL and the various MUPPETS might act out certain parts of the song.

WEIRD AL:

(sung)

Finger food and an ice cold keg.
It won't cost you an arm and a leg.
Dance all night to a rotten band.

FLOYD: Hey, man! We resemble that remark!

DR. TEETH: Yeah, so don't he!

WEIRD AL:

Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand!
Saturday night it's the place to be!
Everybody cut footloose with me
At the party at the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!

WEIRD AL: Hey!

Met a little lady so pretty and young.
She was quite a talker till the cat got her tongue.
She oozed up beside me. I turned on my charm.
Well, pretty soon, she was completely disarmed.
I said, "Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me,"
But she cried her eyes out, literally
At the party at the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!

WEIRD AL: Hey! Hey!

Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip!
Sorry I was usin' your head for dip.
There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who.
Wait a minute, it looks like Stu!

STU: Stu!

WEIRD AL:

Well, hold the phone now, what do I see?
Another pretty mama got her eye on me
At the party a the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
Hey!

As the song ends, WEIRD AL falls over.

ZOOT: ... Inappropriate, man.

ANIMAL: Distaste! Distaste!

SCOOTER: Boy, that was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. And we're the Muppets!

FLOYD: Yeah, we better get outta here, quick. The board o' health and the board o' lepers rights will be here any minute, and, trust me, we don't wanna deal with either o' them!