Scooter's Story

... okay.

SCENE 11

INT. MUPPET THEATER

The show is on, and everyone is running around frantically. No one has any clue what needs to be done. KERMIT is trying to get everyone settled down (as it's what he does best).

KERMIT: What is going on here?

GONZO: Oh, Kermit! It's a disaster! No one knows when they're supposed to go on---

KERMIT: (cutting him off) Oh, that's impossible, I made up the schedule.

GONZO: Kermit, I hate to say it, but have you ever seen your handwriting? Scooter's the only one who can decipher that dead language.

KERMIT: (scrunches face) What's wrong with my handwriting?

GONZO: I think it's a flipper versus hand issue. Besides that, Kermit, the guest stars not even here!

KERMIT: What??? What do you mean the guest star's not here? Didn't Pops let him in?

POPS enters.

POPS: I'm gettin' too old for this! I just had my prostate out, I can't be sitting watching some door all day!

KERMIT: Yeesh! So, what acts do we have?

GONZO: Well, Kermit, it's looking bleak. Usually I can work with bleak, but this bleak beyond even my act!

KERMIT: What do we have, Gonzo?

GONZO: Crazy Harry.

KERMIT: I'm afraid to ask. What's he going to do?

GONZO: Well, he kind of alread did it...

PIGGY enters from the stage, covered in ash.

KERMIT: *GASP* P-P-Piggy! What happened?

PIGGY: DON'T ask!

PIGGY exits.

GONZO: Thing of it is, I wish I'd thought of it.

KERMIT: What I'd like to know is what's left of Harry?

FOZZIE enters.

FOZZIE: Kermit! Kermit! Oh, Kermit, I gotta tell ya, I won't be going on tonight.

KERMIT: Oh, good.

FOZZIE: ... uh, er, well, would you like to know why?

GONZO: Well, we don't have a whole lot of anything else to go on.

KERMIT: That is true. Fozzie, why aren't you going on? We need you! For once, we need you!

FOZZIE: Oh, thank you! But, seriously, I will not be going on. Scooter was supposed to help me with my monologue, I don't even know whether or not this is really funny!

KERMIT: We can only hope the audience won't either. Go on, Fozzie!

FOZZIE: *sigh* Yes, sir.

FOZZIE goes out on stage.

PEPE enters.

PEPE: Kermin! This is disaster, okay!

KERMIT: Oh, what could it be now?

PEPE: I was looking at the script-play for this movie, okay, and I noticed something peculiar. You know what this peculiar thing was? I haven't been on screen since Scene 4! This is so not according to my contract, okay.

KERMIT: Er, not now, Pepe.

PEPE: But ju cannot make a "muffin" movie without Pepe, the main "muffin"!

KERMIT: Muppet!

PEPE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, tomatoe, potatoe, is all the same, okay.

FOZZIE re-enters, covered in vegetable remains.

FOZZIE: Kermit? I think they knew it wasn't funny.

KERMIT: Yeesh!

GONZO: Kermit, I think the show's falling apart.

KERMIT: Gee, Scooter usually helps make sure everyone knows what's going on.

LEW ZELAND enters.

LEW ZELAND: Hey, Kermit, is it okay if me and my boomerang fish go on now?

KERMIT: ... Sure, go ahead.

LEW ZELAND: Wow! Thank you! Come on, Murray.

LEW ZELAND and his fish go onstage.

GONZO: Uh, Kermit? Are you sure about that?

KERMIT: Well, it couldn't hurt.

PEPE: ANY-way, back to me, I think I need more scenes in this movie, Kermin, preferababably with some sultry, sexy leading lady type person, okay.

KERMIT: Pepe!

PEPE: Don't worry, don't worry. I take care of everything on my end, you just take care of everything else. Oh, but she cannot be too sexy, okay, I think there's some sort of illegals there with the photographing too much sexiness at once, okay. I am almost the legal limit myself, okay.

LEW ZELAND returns from the stage.

LEW ZELAND: Oh, they love me! They love me! MWAH MWAH! Do you hear that crowd?

They listen close and hear the crowd applauding loudly.

KERMIT: Wow.

GONZO: Gee, and you always left him out of the show.

KERMIT: This just isn't my night. (to camera) I wonder how things are going with Scooter and the band?

I LOVE IT! Harry! Simon Smith! Lew Zeland! MURRAYYY! Pepe lines are absolutely WONDERFUL, so so true to the character. I will soon be writing a movie script aswell but its different. But FABULOUS job, esp. with the Bean and Bobo lines SPOT ON.

Wow. just wow. I am loving this so much. I wanna see this movie NOW DISNEY!

Lol, I love that they backed up Weird Al!

PEPE!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!! That was one of THE BEST Pepe scenes I've ever read!! *applauds Super Scoot*

*bows*

(with all humility) thank you, thank you...

Pepe's so much fun to write for.

Yay more Pepe lines

It was very good!

SCENE 12

EXT. DESERT - NIGHT

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM BUS is off the road... and completely upside-down. SCOOTER, DR. TEETH, FLOYD, ANIMAL, JANICE, ZOOT, BEAN, and BOBO stand staring at it.

SCOOTER: Wow!

FLOYD: I tell you what, that is incredible.

DR. TEETH: Wouldn't think I'd be able to flip it so perfectly.

BEAN: Ha ha! That was neat!

ZOOT: Cosmic, man!

JANICE: Like, fer sure!

ANIMAL: Stunt double! Stunt double!

BOBO: I think I wet myself.

FLOYD: Hey, when we decide to bring the bear along?

DR. TEETH: Funny, I hadn't noticed him.

SCOOTER and BEAN start hitching for a ride, walking along down the road.

BEAN: La la la la la la!

SCOOTER: Why so happy, Bean?

BEAN: Oh, I'm just glad to be in another movie! Last time anyone even saw me, I got smacked in the face with a door.

Of course, BEAN's not watching where he's going, and runs right into a cactus bush.

BEAN: Yow!

SCOOTER: Watch out for that, Bean.

BEAN: Thanks for the warning.

SCOOTER: Wait a minute, weren't you around for our Moulin Scrooge show?

BEAN: You try to block out any memory of servitude toward Miss Piggy.

SCOOTER: Yeah, I suppose. You know, we oughta stop talkin' about those other movies, I think we're losing the audience.

BEAN: What is that, three of them we've mentioned?

SCOOTER: Yeah, I think so.

BEAN: Let's go for a record! Most Muppet movies or TV specials mentioned in another Muppet movie!

SCOOTER: Hmm. Not a bad contest.

They hear a horn honking from behind them. They look back to see the ELECTRIC MAYHEM boarding a new bus.

DR. TEETH: All aboard that's coming aboard!

FLOYD: You fellas better hurry up! Who knows how long the Barenaked Ladies will wait around here!

SCOOTER AND BEAN: Barenaked Ladies???

ED, STEVE, TYLER, KEVIN, and JIM of the BARENAKED LADIES stick their heads out the van windows.

BARENAKED LADIES: Hello, there!

SCOOTER: Wow! Look, Bean! The Barenaked Ladies! They're great!

BEAN: Eh, they're alright.

SCOOTER: You don't like them?

BEAN: Music's not hard enough.

The two quickly run to join the others and get on the bus.

SCOOTER: Wow! What are you guys doing here?

STEVE: Well, we thought you might be in a bit of a jam.

DR. TEETH: Man, we love to jam!

ED: Or, rather a pickle.

FLOYD: Man, I love me some pickles!

STEVE: So, here we are!

BARENAKED LADIES: The Barenaked Ladies to save the day!

BEAN: Hey, I thought of another contest, Scooter.

SCOOTER: What's that, Bean?

BEAN: Number of times we can say "Barenaked Ladies" in a Muppet movie. Ha ha!

They all get on the bus, and head out.

Nice. Not a huge barenaked ladies fan, but LOVE it!

Awwwwwww!

Well, you got your Weird Al scene (and maybe another? hmmmmmmmm. )

Thing is, I found a Weird Al song I liked even better for with the Muppets, but it's too late for this time, I guess...

Haha. OK would be awesome, but NO ONE would recognize it

Although they would be easy to get for a movie, since the Mouse signs their contracts as well

... I didn't mention off kilter in the thread, silly. I said of another Weird Al song. haha!

oh. Darn...mixing up my AIM and forums once again!

Too much caffeine in that there mocha!

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee

Oh my goodness Scoot! This just keeps getting better and better! I really really love it!!

INT. BARENAKED LADIES' VAN

SCOOTER, BEAN, BOBO, THE ELECTRIC MAYEHM, and THE BARENAKED LADIES drive along.

SCOOTER: So, what brings you out to the middle of nowhere?

STEVE: Oh, we figured this'd be a pretty good moment for a song.

ED: And since you already gave Weird Al a shot...

STEVE: ... we figured we had an easy in.

FLOYD: Hey, you guys always share lines like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum?

SCOOTER: Floyd!

FLOYD: Sorry, man, it was just weird and freaky!

DR. TEETH: That's our style, baby.

ANIMAL: Weird and freaky.

DR. TEETH: Hey, do any of these other guys ever talk?

JIM: Of course we talk.

KEVIN: I suppose we could talk as well as you can.

TYLER: Mmm-hmmm.

ZOOT looks at TYLER and pats him on the back.

JIM: Say, what were you guys doing back there, anyway?

FLOYD: Well, Dr. Teeth here decided he wanted to see if he could make that hairpin turn without slowin' down from ninty miles per hour.

JIM: Well, what happened?

DR. TEETH: We didn't make that hairpin turn without slowin' down from ninty miles per hour.

STEVE: Well, we've got a long way to go...

FLOYD: ... and the back seat is crowded!

BOBO: You have no idea how claustrophobic I am getting back here!!!

STEVE: ... what do we say to a little traveling music?

A brief pause while I figure out what song they're actually going to sing.

thanks, man!

Woah...you're writing this AND holding out a full AIM conversation?

*bows*

bwa ha ha ha ha!

*evil laughter cut short by flying monkeys*

HAHAHA! This is GREAT! I love Bobo! And the whole band is just great! Keep it up!